Being Self-conscious: A Mirror for Change

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

BenFTW

Senior Member
Oct 7, 2012
4,834
981
113
34
#1
We get so caught up in what others think of us that we forget to consider what we think of ourselves. Our own self-image can be a hindrance, as we need to be happy with ourselves. Talking to other people can be nerve-wracking because we want to be accepted, but if we don't like who we are, it will affect how we carry and present ourselves. If we don't like what we see, change. Be the person you want to be, find acceptance in the mirror. Knowing who you are, what you bring to the table, liking who you are, allows you to more easily converse with others. You won't require their approval or acceptance because you are already grounded in who God has called you to be. You are who you desire to be.

Being self conscious can be a blessing and a curse. It allows for self-examination and improvement, but also timidity. If timidity is the result, we ought to use such self-awareness to grow. In growing we again find confidence in our dealings with others. Everyone wants acceptance, to be loved, yet we ought to be so comfortable in our own identity that fear of judgement dwindles, simply acknowledging that they are misinformed or of bad taste ( haha ).

We are each unique, characters with personalities ranging from the mundane to the eccentric. None less than the other, but each quirk to be smiled at. We ought to love as Christ loved, and that is all. Our self image can be a barrier to expressing that love, and so we should, figuratively, sit in front of a mirror. Maybe even literally, as our appearance itself can be what holds us back mentally. Then not only pray for change, asking for God's grace, but make the necessary changes. Get to work.
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
6,693
7,176
113
#2
This is exactly what I needed to read. Wow, so helpful.

BAM BAM BAM!!!! This resonates so much...In growing we again find confidence in our dealings with others. Everyone wants acceptance, to be loved, yet we ought to be so comfortable in our own identity that fear of judgement dwindles, simply acknowledging that they are misinformed or of bad taste ( haha)

I can NOT thank you enough!!! It provides applicable and pragmatic approach to a self-enduced problem.
 

BenFTW

Senior Member
Oct 7, 2012
4,834
981
113
34
#3
This is exactly what I needed to read. Wow, so helpful.

BAM BAM BAM!!!! This resonates so much...In growing we again find confidence in our dealings with others. Everyone wants acceptance, to be loved, yet we ought to be so comfortable in our own identity that fear of judgement dwindles, simply acknowledging that they are misinformed or of bad taste ( haha)

I can NOT thank you enough!!! It provides applicable and pragmatic approach to a self-enduced problem.
Praise God, I'm glad you were blessed.
 
P

pottersclay

Guest
#4
Ben you know I love ya bro but have to disagree. Sorry but this is new age thinking.…when Adam and Eve found there selves naked they hid from God. Self awareness is the big trend in today's society.
It is more to the point of who Christ is that we recognise who we are in him. Paul said it best when he penned it is a mystery of what we shall be.
I know what you are trying to say in encouragement to others but keep your eyes on Christ. We are to deny our selves and pick up our cross daily. Let the joy of the Lord raise us up.
 

CharliRenee

Member
Staff member
Nov 4, 2014
6,693
7,176
113
#5
Ben you know I love ya bro but have to disagree. Sorry but this is new age thinking.…when Adam and Eve found there selves naked they hid from God. Self awareness is the big trend in today's society.
It is more to the point of who Christ is that we recognise who we are in him. Paul said it best when he penned it is a mystery of what we shall be.
I know what you are trying to say in encouragement to others but keep your eyes on Christ. We are to deny our selves and pick up our cross daily. Let the joy of the Lord raise us up.
Doesn't our Lord perfect us, and equip us, all for His glory? Isn't what he is talking about merely sanctification? We are called to be honest with ourselves so we can die to self. I mean low self esteem leads to a great deal of time and thought in self. Strength in Him, walking in His victory frees our time and focus towards Him and genuinely loving, outside of any self seeking motives or wounds. He is our Hope. When we are governed by our weaknesses, we are not where we need to be...in Him and His selfless strength.
 

Nehemiah6

Senior Member
Jul 18, 2017
26,074
13,774
113
#7
It is more to the point of who Christ is that we recognise who we are in him.
I believe that is what Ben is trying to get across in everyday language. Some Scriptures should also have been included.

Our value and our worth is exclusively in Christ, and God's ultimate objective is that every justified one be transformed into the image of His Son. That is really the purpose of predestination and election.

Satan is constantly trying to get Christians to see only their deficiencies. So the antidote is for every Christian to know what they are in Christ -- their position of Christ.

A good example of focus on deficiencies is Moses at the burning bush making every excuse in the book to avoid leading the Israelites out of Egypt as well as a confrontation with wicked Pharaoh. God showed him what he needed to see
.
 
P

pottersclay

Guest
#8
Doesn't our Lord perfect us, and equip us, all for His glory? Isn't what he is talking about merely sanctification? We are called to be honest with ourselves so we can die to self. I mean low self esteem leads to a great deal of time and thought in self. Strength in Him, walking in His victory frees our time and focus towards Him and genuinely loving, outside of any self seeking motives or wounds. He is our Hope. When we are governed by our weaknesses, we are not where we need to be...in Him and His selfless strength.
CharliRenee beautiful thought but don't be tangled up in it. Did not Christ become lower than the angles in order to achieve our fathers will? Did the Baptist say he must decrease in order for Christ to increase? Did not Paul give a warning to not think ourselves higher than we are?
Trusting in the promises of God is how we should live. He is our strength in our weekness, we must for a time learn to be content in all things.
Victory is given in the wilderness not in the garden. We tend to stay away from the wilderness, why? Because it's uncomfortable.
Satan is a perfect example of thinking himself higher than what he was.
If the word of the Lord is sufficient for you to hang your life upon then his precious thoughts towards should be sufficient to give you his joy. As it is written " for the joy that was set before him he endured the cross.
Always remember we have been robbed by Satan and he keeps on stealing from us that joy and contentment in order for us to make the same mistake as he did. Looking at our selves.
Take comfort in knowing that in this world you will suffer many tribulations but be of good cheer he has over come this world.

Potter
 

BenFTW

Senior Member
Oct 7, 2012
4,834
981
113
34
#9
Ben you know I love ya bro but have to disagree. Sorry but this is new age thinking.…when Adam and Eve found there selves naked they hid from God. Self awareness is the big trend in today's society.
It is more to the point of who Christ is that we recognise who we are in him. Paul said it best when he penned it is a mystery of what we shall be.
I know what you are trying to say in encouragement to others but keep your eyes on Christ. We are to deny our selves and pick up our cross daily. Let the joy of the Lord raise us up.
Nice to see you Pottersclay, hope you're doing well.

I am not sure why you think this is "new age thinking", as I am only encouraging others to be comfortable in their own skin. I am not sure if you have struggled with who you are as a person, your weight, your success (or lack thereof), your appearance, or any area of insecurity or of not meeting the standards of social norms. Yet, many do. They are so afraid of engaging others because they feel insufficient as a person. I speak from experience. This is a sad existence, as you feel as if you are in a shell trapped behind your lack of self worth.

Self-examination is biblical, the apostle Paul himself telling others to check themselves to see if they are of the faith. Self-examination permits growth as well, as we see areas of lack and can seek the Lord for His grace and sanctification. Of course, we too can take practical steps to overcome areas of perceived inadequacy, such as in weight loss, financial security, and independence.

I am simply making a point, that how you view yourself affects the way you act. The way you walk into a room, the ways in which you can serve others. Even in humility there is self-image. As you said, though Christ is God He lowered Himself for our sake. Jesus knew who He was (and is) yet His self-image didn't make Him prideful. He acted with authority. He served others. Likewise, our own self-image is important for having boldness and authority, not cowering behind insecurities but resolving them, in a practical manner, so as to feel confident enough to simply engage with others.

It is almost like a fear of man, a fear of judgement. It can be hurdle, as we want acceptance. We want validation. Yet Who is it that calls you? Who equips you for the task at hand? Is it not the Lord? See, we can find boldness in knowing He equips us. He provides. Are you to sing on stage, for example, and fear what the people will think? Has God called you to be a worshipper? Then get on stage and worship, because He has equipped you. Knowing who you are, and even liking who you are, grants you a boldness in social encounters. That is what this is about.

Self-image ought to be healthy, and in order to get a healthy self-image, we must examine ourselves to find the areas we feel less in. God Himself in fellowship may even address your insecurities, your perceptions, and the need to repent, to change your mind about yourself, Him, and others. Along with God's providential grace, you should then take efforts to resolve these areas to finally feel comfortable with yourself enough that you no longer hide behind that shell. Able to engage with others, minister to them, and exhort them.

This isn't new age thinking, this is a thought process that seeks to heal insecurities and find confidence to bond with others, to love others, and not be hindered from doing such.
 

BenFTW

Senior Member
Oct 7, 2012
4,834
981
113
34
#10
I believe that is what Ben is trying to get across in everyday language. Some Scriptures should also have been included.

Our value and our worth is exclusively in Christ, and God's ultimate objective is that every justified one be transformed into the image of His Son. That is really the purpose of predestination and election.

Satan is constantly trying to get Christians to see only their deficiencies. So the antidote is for every Christian to know what they are in Christ -- their position of Christ.

A good example of focus on deficiencies is Moses at the burning bush making every excuse in the book to avoid leading the Israelites out of Egypt as well as a confrontation with wicked Pharaoh. God showed him what he needed to see
.
That is a wonderful perspective as well. I forgot where I read it, or who shared it (it was recent) and they were talking about how the enemy will give you thoughts of being a sinner and give you condemnation, but the preacher's response was "Yes, and Christ came to save sinners." That His sacrifice is sufficient for sin, and therefore any thought of condemnation can fall to the wayside, as the blood of Christ grants us the remission of our sin.
 
P

pottersclay

Guest
#11
Nice to see you Pottersclay, hope you're doing well.

I am not sure why you think this is "new age thinking", as I am only encouraging others to be comfortable in their own skin. I am not sure if you have struggled with who you are as a person, your weight, your success (or lack thereof), your appearance, or any area of insecurity or of not meeting the standards of social norms. Yet, many do. They are so afraid of engaging others because they feel insufficient as a person. I speak from experience. This is a sad existence, as you feel as if you are in a shell trapped behind your lack of self worth.

Self-examination is biblical, the apostle Paul himself telling others to check themselves to see if they are of the faith. Self-examination permits growth as well, as we see areas of lack and can seek the Lord for His grace and sanctification. Of course, we too can take practical steps to overcome areas of perceived inadequacy, such as in weight loss, financial security, and independence.

I am simply making a point, that how you view yourself affects the way you act. The way you walk into a room, the ways in which you can serve others. Even in humility there is self-image. As you said, though Christ is God He lowered Himself for our sake. Jesus knew who He was (and is) yet His self-image didn't make Him prideful. He acted with authority. He served others. Likewise, our own self-image is important for having boldness and authority, not cowering behind insecurities but resolving them, in a practical manner, so as to feel confident enough to simply engage with others.

It is almost like a fear of man, a fear of judgement. It can be hurdle, as we want acceptance. We want validation. Yet Who is it that calls you? Who equips you for the task at hand? Is it not the Lord? See, we can find boldness in knowing He equips us. He provides. Are you to sing on stage, for example, and fear what the people will think? Has God called you to be a worshipper? Then get on stage and worship, because He has equipped you. Knowing who you are, and even liking who you are, grants you a boldness in social encounters. That is what this is about.

Self-image ought to be healthy, and in order to get a healthy self-image, we must examine ourselves to find the areas we feel less in. God Himself in fellowship may even address your insecurities, your perceptions, and the need to repent, to change your mind about yourself, Him, and others. Along with God's providential grace, you should then take efforts to resolve these areas to finally feel comfortable with yourself enough that you no longer hide behind that shell. Able to engage with others, minister to them, and exhort them.

This isn't new age thinking, this is a thought process that seeks to heal insecurities and find confidence to bond with others, to love others, and not be hindered from doing such.
Is it the world that will teach you or God that will guide you??? That is the question. My heart goes out to all that have these issues.
God does see us differently than we see ourselves. you know when the time comes you'll be the right tool for the right job.
The right person for that other, make the right entrance , say the right thing.
Boy do I have issues, I don't wear almost 60 very well. plus with what ever sickness I have been going through for almost 5months I've dropped 40 lbs my clothes don't fit I look like a toothpick wrapped in gauze. Got 9holes in my stomach, chemo killed my teeth, not as strong as I used to be, Yeah it's a bit rough. Sometimes I think it's a blessing just to be on the right side of the dirt when I wake up.
But I don't let that stop me from telling others the good news. Going to social events, or acting my same old silly way.
I've been a loner most my life because I don't fit in. And not for the lack of trying.
This I've learned about myself. "Pottersclay" God made me like this for a reason should I tell him what he should of made me?
We're all made from the same dirt some are just more muddy than others.
All of us lack in some way or another it keeps life interesting. All of us are wonderfully made ask David.
Keep your eyes on the prize dear saints the gift wrapping is always discarded.
 

stonesoffire

Poetic Member
Nov 24, 2013
10,665
1,829
113
#12
Not new age but is this humanistic thinking Ben?

We do have self worth but it's God centered isn't it? In Him.
 

stonesoffire

Poetic Member
Nov 24, 2013
10,665
1,829
113
#13
Is it the world that will teach you or God that will guide you??? That is the question. My heart goes out to all that have these issues.
God does see us differently than we see ourselves. you know when the time comes you'll be the right tool for the right job.
The right person for that other, make the right entrance , say the right thing.
Boy do I have issues, I don't wear almost 60 very well. plus with what ever sickness I have been going through for almost 5months I've dropped 40 lbs my clothes don't fit I look like a toothpick wrapped in gauze. Got 9holes in my stomach, chemo killed my teeth, not as strong as I used to be, Yeah it's a bit rough. Sometimes I think it's a blessing just to be on the right side of the dirt when I wake up.
But I don't let that stop me from telling others the good news. Going to social events, or acting my same old silly way.
I've been a loner most my life because I don't fit in. And not for the lack of trying.
This I've learned about myself. "Pottersclay" God made me like this for a reason should I tell him what he should of made me?
We're all made from the same dirt some are just more muddy than others.
All of us lack in some way or another it keeps life interesting. All of us are wonderfully made ask David.
Keep your eyes on the prize dear saints the gift wrapping is always discarded.
Beautiful heart!
 

stonesoffire

Poetic Member
Nov 24, 2013
10,665
1,829
113
#14
That is a wonderful perspective as well. I forgot where I read it, or who shared it (it was recent) and they were talking about how the enemy will give you thoughts of being a sinner and give you condemnation, but the preacher's response was "Yes, and Christ came to save sinners." That His sacrifice is sufficient for sin, and therefore any thought of condemnation can fall to the wayside, as the blood of Christ grants us the remission of our sin.
Didn't read far enough down. ;) sorry Ben!
 

maxwel

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2013
9,526
2,608
113
#15
Which

So, which is it?

Do we need to have a better self image and think more highly of ourselves, or do we need to check our proud high image of self and be more humble?

Which is it?

Which do we need?

We need... whichever one we are doing wrong.

Bible

The Bible gives a TRUE and ACCURATE view of ourselves, the way God sees us... and that is what we need.
* If we are too insecure, it pulls us up.
* If we are too proud, it pulls us down.

The Bible gives the TRUE and ACCURATE view.
It lifts us up when we're broken, or breaks us when we're too lifted up.

The Bible gives us GOD'S view... the only view that matters.

We don't need to think BETTER of ourselves, we need to think BIBLICALLY of ourselves.
We need God's view of ourselves.... in all things.

Only God's view is true, and can balance us between our mortal pride and our mortal fears.



Debate

Neither party in this debate has been wrong;
both parties have been looking at the same issue from different angles.
That's all.

..
 

JaumeJ

Senior Member
Jul 2, 2011
21,429
6,707
113
#16
Many times I think of ethniciies and racism and it makes me thing people are either unhappy with how God made others or how He made them.

In this regard we must be comfortable with all people, "how they are," beginning with ourselves.

Once we know each vessel is different, that is a big step, but then we must know that each vessel contains the same water, ( I refer to all who are saved.)

We are all, I believe, descended from Noah and to him from Adam, so as the Burger King add went in the olden days, "Where's the beef?"
 
P

pottersclay

Guest
#17
In the beginning when the first couple when told by Satan they could be more than what they were they ate of the fruit.
Then looking at them selves and saw they were naked they hid from God.
It was God who covered up their shame after they attempted to do it with prickly leaves.

Paul wrote about a thorn in his side and expressed it to be a benefit rather than a curse.
Moses expressed a speech problem that would not allow him to be "that spokes person"
Gideon somewhat of a coward or at least timid yet God saw him as a leader.
David the forgotten shepard boy who Nathan was looking for.
Samson once strong and undefeated found bald blind and without takes his place in the hall of faith.
Solomon having more than a person could dream of found it all vanity.
Job from riches to rags to more than his riches learns a lesson.

I could go on and on but in short little is much when God is in it. Faith is believing in the unseen things expecting it to be so.

May the Lord bless all of you who live your life in fear and doubt may his holy spirit guide and keep you always. May his light shine upon all of you. Rise up all ye for the victory is the Lord's. Girt up your loins and stand as the children of God. For his word and strength endures forever.

Potter.