When you love and care about someone a lot but they don't feel the same

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
Prognostic

Prognostic

Junior Member
#1
Jan 5, 2018
102
61
28
#1
When you fall in love with someone and really care about them. When they're not a Christian although they do believe. But they don't realise how real God actually is. Or just how real God is to you. When you just keep and can't stop thinking about them. And you just want to be with them and make them feel happy and loved and blessed. When you just want to see them smile and hear their voice. And just long for any moment with them. But you aren't sure and pretty much know already that they don't feel the same way about you as you do them. And you don't really know the reason although you have your suspicions. When you just feel down about it because the feelings aren't reciprocated. And you just want you both fall truly madly deeply in love with each other. But in all probability that might not happen. How do you deal with that? Because it's driving me crazy!
 
Dino246

Dino246

Senior Member
#2
Jun 30, 2015
25,472
13,785
113
#2
When all these things happen, you repent of your obsession (and possibly idolatry). You put the entire relationship in God's hands, separate yourself from her, get busy making a life without her in it, and ask God to sort out the confusion in your heart.

Oh... and take up a creative hobby to keep your mind busy. :)
 
R

Rasputin_OZ

Guest
#3
#3
do not be unequally yoked. pray for her salvation , holy spirit may place a calling on her heart
 
stonesoffire

stonesoffire

Poetic Member
#4
Nov 24, 2013
10,665
1,829
113
#4
Rasputin_OZ said:
do not be unequally yoked. pray for her salvation , holy spirit may place a calling on her heart
Click to expand...
Hi Rasputin

I know you mean well but this is an obsession with someone and not a healthy relationship at all. I would never give any degree of hope for this because it will keep him imprisoned so to speak. He needs set free to find true love.

Let it go. In the words of a popular song...shake it off. 😇
 
R

Rasputin_OZ

Guest
#5
#5
stonesoffire said:
Hi Rasputin

I know you mean well but this is an obsession with someone and not a healthy relationship at all. I would never give any degree of hope for this because it will keep him imprisoned so to speak. He needs set free to find true love.

Let it go. In the words of a popular song...shake it off. 😇
Click to expand...
oh I agree, but still need to pray for her salvation, the calling I spoke of was not to love the poster, but to love God.
 
stonesoffire

stonesoffire

Poetic Member
#7
Nov 24, 2013
10,665
1,829
113
#7
On second thought though, I still think the poster needs to let her go completely. Even praying for someone keeps the mind on that person. The Lord knows those who are His.

I say this because I know how damaging this can be to both parties.
 
R

Rasputin_OZ

Guest
#8
#8
all good, I understand Obsession. I had a promise from God once, but I becamse obsessed and God had to take that away.. took another 10 yrs of wandering before I finally found love and got married.
 
R

Rasputin_OZ

Guest
#9
#9
stonesoffire said:
On second thought though, I still think the poster needs to let her go completely. Even praying for someone keeps the mind on that person. The Lord knows those who are His.

I say this because I know how damaging this can be to both parties.
Click to expand...
you may be right, if the poster cannot pray without being obessesed then yes , move on.
 
1christian1

1christian1

Banned
#10
Sep 13, 2018
2,587
885
113
#10
Prognostic said:
When you fall in love with someone and really care about them. When they're not a Christian although they do believe. But they don't realise how real God actually is. Or just how real God is to you. When you just keep and can't stop thinking about them. And you just want to be with them and make them feel happy and loved and blessed. When you just want to see them smile and hear their voice. And just long for any moment with them. But you aren't sure and pretty much know already that they don't feel the same way about you as you do them. And you don't really know the reason although you have your suspicions. When you just feel down about it because the feelings aren't reciprocated. And you just want you both fall truly madly deeply in love with each other. But in all probability that might not happen. How do you deal with that? Because it's driving me crazy!
Click to expand...

How old are you...
 
Leastamongmany

Leastamongmany

Well-known member
#11
Jun 2, 2019
3,270
1,269
113
Usa
#11
stonesoffire said:
Hi Rasputin

I know you mean well but this is an obsession with someone and not a healthy relationship at all. I would never give any degree of hope for this because it will keep him imprisoned so to speak. He needs set free to find true love.

Let it go. In the words of a popular song...shake it off. 😇
Click to expand...
Been there,done that! It's in God's hands,he knows and sees all! Amen
 
Dan58

Dan58

Senior Member
#12
Nov 13, 2013
1,991
339
83
#12
Prognostic said:
How do you deal with that? Because it's driving me crazy!
Click to expand...
Love is a 2-way street, but if the person your obsessed with hasn't reciprocated, your on a one way road. So you deal with it be letting it go and moving on, because you can't make anyone feel the same way about you as you do them.
 
Leastamongmany

Leastamongmany

Well-known member
#13
Jun 2, 2019
3,270
1,269
113
Usa
#13
Dan58 said:
Love is a 2-way street, but if the person your obsessed with hasn't reciprocated, your on a one way road. So you deal with it be letting it go and moving on, because you can't make anyone feel the same way about you as you do them.
Click to expand...
Amen! Been there done that!
 
B

blueluna5

Well-known member
#14
Jul 30, 2018
658
393
63
#14
Prognostic said:
When you fall in love with someone and really care about them. When they're not a Christian although they do believe. But they don't realise how real God actually is. Or just how real God is to you. When you just keep and can't stop thinking about them. And you just want to be with them and make them feel happy and loved and blessed. When you just want to see them smile and hear their voice. And just long for any moment with them. But you aren't sure and pretty much know already that they don't feel the same way about you as you do them. And you don't really know the reason although you have your suspicions. When you just feel down about it because the feelings aren't reciprocated. And you just want you both fall truly madly deeply in love with each other. But in all probability that might not happen. How do you deal with that? Because it's driving me crazy!
Click to expand...
Do you know it's actually God you're searching for here? Start there and see where it takes you.

Life is a journey and a season. Take comfort in knowing that each season ends and the lesson is learned. But darn it sucks going through it....
 
Leastamongmany

Leastamongmany

Well-known member
#15
Jun 2, 2019
3,270
1,269
113
Usa
#15
blueluna5 said:
Do you know it's actually God you're searching for here? Start there and see where it takes you.

Life is a journey and a season. Take comfort in knowing that each season ends and the lesson is learned. But darn it sucks going through it....
Click to expand...
Amen!🙏
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#16
Mar 13, 2014
42,595
17,062
113
69
Tennessee
#16
Dan58 said:
Love is a 2-way street, but if the person your obsessed with hasn't reciprocated, your on a one way road. So you deal with it be letting it go and moving on, because you can't make anyone feel the same way about you as you do them.
Click to expand...
I fully concur with your estimation. He has to realize that she is not the only starfish in the sea. If the feeling is not reciprocated its time to cut her loose and move on with life.
 
P

Princesse

Active member
#18
Feb 16, 2020
259
123
43
#18
As the spiritually mature one in the pair, it’s my responsibility not to permit an attraction to blossom with someone whose absence of belief will only lead to pain. Whether they share my desires is immaterial. The possibility of transgressing the truth and maiming my witness ought to guide my heart. He’s not an option.

More importantly, it’s disingenuous to dangle a carrot in someone's face if our convictions and beliefs would prohibit its engagement. When we love someone we have an equal regard for their welfare. And we don’t try to bind them to a course God won’t allow. We’re mistaking love for self-indulgence. Denying ourselves is the loving response for unequally yoked connections.

There is no dignity in self-deceit or in prostrating ourselves before temptations and allowing our emotions to carry us away. It is unlikely the other would value your belief if you’re willing to forsake them on his behalf.

If we can’t be a light without going astray. We must be willing to remove ourselves from harm and permit the Lord to send a servant who can minister to the other without compromise.

If satisfying your desire for his companionship is greater than your concern for his soul. You must question the authenticity of the love you’ve professed. That is the greater work.
 
Whispered

Whispered

Well-known member
#19
Aug 17, 2019
4,551
2,230
113
www.christiancourier.com
#19
Prognostic said:
When you fall in love with someone and really care about them. When they're not a Christian although they do believe. But they don't realise how real God actually is. Or just how real God is to you. When you just keep and can't stop thinking about them. And you just want to be with them and make them feel happy and loved and blessed. When you just want to see them smile and hear their voice. And just long for any moment with them. But you aren't sure and pretty much know already that they don't feel the same way about you as you do them. And you don't really know the reason although you have your suspicions. When you just feel down about it because the feelings aren't reciprocated. And you just want you both fall truly madly deeply in love with each other. But in all probability that might not happen. How do you deal with that? Because it's driving me crazy!
Click to expand...
Have you told this person all this yourself? How you feel?
If yes, then if you truly deeply love them, you'll respect that they don't have romantic feelings for you. If you can't handle that, it would be healthier for you to keep your distance. When they know how you feel about them and if you have to go that route, they'll still know you are there for them if they need you.

Keep in mind the old truism. It's best to need someone because you love them, not love someone because you need them. Needy gets old after awhile and then the relationship can turn in on itself and cause loss for the needy one and because the loved one needs their space.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.