Is age difference a big barrier to people.

  • Thread starter Thread starter Lalilo
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Jaynee said:
Hi Lalilo,

You ought to take a closer look at your self-centeredness and think more about sharing some of those adventurous activities with your eleven-year-old daughter. The camping, backpacking, music, and dancing sound like activities that she would really enjoy - with you as a mentor and companion, of course.

Be careful though about the horse riding. Practically everyone I know who has tried that has had at least one fall. One very dear friend suffered extremely dire consequences. Don't force that activity on your child; skip that because of the high risk involved and do the backpacking/camping bit, instead. Good luck and blessings to both of you!

- Jaynee
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I was sharing it with my daughter until I started going to church. Then one night my daughter was crying and said to me you don't know what goes on in my head. So I did what I thought I should do and put my hand on her head and comanded the evil spirits to depart in the name of Jesus Christ. The next thing I know is that my Ex is taking me to court, saying I squeezed my daughters head. Now I have no rights to see my daughter. I believe my Ex was anti my daughter going to church with me. I'm trying to see my daughter but now she doesn't want to see me. Did I do the wrong thing? It didn't feel wrong. The laws in New Zealand are so PC bull****.
 
Lalilo said:
I'm in my forties but don't feel old. I still enjoy the same things I enjoyed when I was in my twenties, engineering, camping, horse riding, surfing, motorcross, car racing, golf , rugby, fishing, back packing, music and dancing. I've never been interested in growing my empire. I don't want to end up with a material women who wants the grandest nest (first marriage). Most of the women I have meet my age lack or have lost their passion for life. I have an Eleven year old daughter from my first marriage. For her sake should I be conforming to the norm or being my true self? Does all this make me young at heart or immature? Truth be told I relate better to younger women than older. It's not a physical thing. I think its just that they still have there spark. Second time around is so hard!!!!
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Women won't care much about your age as long as you are financially secure. If you're not, age becomes the first reason they are not interested.
 
I think it depends on how big an age difference it is! For me personally I don't feel comfortable with any more than a ten year gap.
 
I actually prefer older men. I appreaciate a man who is already on a clear path, has already established who he is and has been preparing a place for me. This is not to say younger men do not posses these attributes but in general it takes a while for someone to learn about who they are.

I also find older men more physically attractive as well. When I say older I mean generally 10-20yrs.
 
I was seeing a girl who was 5 years older then myself and just that age difference bothered me a lot. we wanted different things, but the thing is preference comes into play also. THIS IS what i feel and not how others feel. I would not go to low or else you have the fear of leaving someone much before there time and the same goes for someone to high. People are all different and we all have different qualitys. If you handle everything your suppose to and you are naturally are some sort of way. Why fake yourself out of it? Be yourself and find someone who suits you. don't compromise on Godly standards and values.
 
yes age is something to consider when planning long term goals and having children ohter than that it probably doesnt make a big difference when you both are above the age of 20
 
zeroturbulence said:
Women won't care much about your age as long as you are financially secure. If you're not, age becomes the first reason they are not interested.
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NodMyHeadLikeYeah said:
ohhhhhhh ouch!!
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Hey now, before people start calling me sexist (again), I have proof!...
anna-jhoward-nomoney.jpg
 
Age plays a huge factor in the maturity of a person. There are a lot of very young people who are mature, and there are a lot of adults that are rather immature. If both people are in the same spot in life and are on the same page, then i don't see why the age would matter. As for me though I tend to have an age range of 3-7 years older then me. I might consider being a little bit more flexible if the person is on the same page as me, but I tend to think that the age range I stated above is more or less the type of people I can relate to.
 
Why is there such an unbalanced age discrepancy between younger men/women and older men/women?

Having all but one relationship Older than myself. I don't understand the attraction between old men and young women. The opposite makes sense to me, because I never had much in common with immature girls my own age, so I've always dated older as much as 8 years. Its like women's values shift somewhere in their mid 20's and trying to find maturity before that is like playing the lottery. I like women who know themselves and know what is truly important in life. I like when women are done playing Psychological King of the Hill with their friends over accessories or status.

Women live longer than men too. So if you don't want to be old and alone having a younger man makes good sense.

When Zero was talking about financial stability, I think he was absolutely right.
 
I don't think age really matters. I think too many people get so hung up on it. My father was almost 27 years older than my mother but they were together till death did they part. I am sorry that you have met women that have lacked or lost a passion for life. When someone truly is in love with Jesus they have a passion for Him and have such a great passion for life. I might be older, but my passion for Jesus is strong and I have still have that spark within me and not only a spark but a flame because I am on fire for Jesus Christ. Like my mother, I do prefer older men but that is just me. People should wait on God for their mate. He knows what is best for us and sends us the very best!! Unfortunately, many people do not wait and end up with a person that God did not plan for them.
 
Liamson said:
Why is there such an unbalanced age discrepancy between younger men/women and older men/women?

Having all but one relationship Older than myself. I don't understand the attraction between old men and young women. The opposite makes sense to me, because I never had much in common with immature girls my own age, so I've always dated older as much as 8 years. Its like women's values shift somewhere in their mid 20's and trying to find maturity before that is like playing the lottery. I like women who know themselves and know what is truly important in life. I like when women are done playing Psychological King of the Hill with their friends over accessories or status.

Women live longer than men too. So if you don't want to be old and alone having a younger man makes good sense.

When Zero was talking about financial stability, I think he was absolutely right.
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Zero and Liamson you guys are both right. Older men are more financially stable. Nothing is absolute but I dont want a guy still trying to figure out what he wants to so with his life. I want someone who is secure period. Not only financially but also with who he is as a man.
 
well that all comes down to where a man prioritizes christ as well right ?, making christ the first and foremost concern leads to everything else falling into place, however i disagree with the financially secure side, i know a friend of mine who got married at 19, and his wife 18, and they both love each other very much and following christ, they are waiting to have children and both are in college/university, so i find if the couple is on the same page life wise as well as christ wise, the relationship can work. hence "do not be unequally yoked", but a man for sure should be pursuing for a career even before marriage is in the talk, im a single guy, serving christ first and foremost, and looking for a career, i want to be ready as possible for my spouse when the lord provides her.
 
When I think about being with someone a lot older, the probability of being widowed again pops into my mind. Can't help it. Not something I'd like to do again anytime soon, though I do realize that any of us could get hit by a bus any day..

And when I think about being with someone a great deal younger, the issue of children comes into play. I love kids and always wanted more, but I don't know how I feel about that issue at this point in my life.

There really are many more issues to consider than numbers...
 
Jullianna said:
When I think about being with someone a lot older, the probability of being widowed again pops into my mind. Can't help it. Not something I'd like to do again anytime soon, though I do realize that any of us could get hit by a bus any day..

And when I think about being with someone a great deal younger, the issue of children comes into play. I love kids and always wanted more, but I don't know how I feel about that issue at this point in my life.

There really are many more issues to consider than numbers...
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Jullianna, so glad to have you back!!!

I agree with this completely and it's something I think about as well. I realize the Lord can call anyone home at ANY time, but if you marry someone 20 years older, chances are he's going to be called home a bit sooner with you.

So if you're 45 and he's 65 and the Lord calls him home, there's a good chance you'll be left behind while still raising kids or grandkids... or, you'll wind up caring for kids and him as his health winds down.

Now of course, this can happen to anyone younger as well--you really can't tell, and for some people, large age differences may work, but another reason I'm not keen on the idea of dating or marrying someone so much older is because chances are, he's going to go to heaven a lot sooner and leave the other person behind for many years, or, I'd exhaust myself taking care of him as he gets older.
 
I married a 53 year old woman and we have been happily married for 17 years. We have a 22 year old son and a 16 year old daughter and we've never been happier. So I don't think age matters.
 
Sharp said:
I married a 53 year old woman and we have been happily married for 17 years. We have a 22 year old son and a 16 year old daughter and we've never been happier. So I don't think age matters.
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LOL can't argue with that!
 
Hey seoul, I'm still on vacation, but I did get my netbook to let me in here. LOL I'll probably pop in every few days :)
 
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