People you cant talk to

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Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#1
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#1
Are there people you find you just cant have a decent conversation with?
Normal people give and take, wait their turn, listen, and try to understand, but some people you just cant talk with.

They either pushy or arrogant or sarcastic but have no sense of humour so they dont 'get' anything.

What do you do...just avoid them?
I cant talk to some people without them bragging about their country all the time. Its like 'you wouldnt be here if not for us' kind of arrogance and every converstion has to be about how great their country is. What is that, like country chauvinism or something?
Is it because they joined the military and have to prove how right they are to kill lots of people or something? I dont know.

I mean it might be one thing if its just sports. But if its just like how much money they have or how big an army they command then so what?
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#2
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#2
I am not sure if I would even stick around if I met them in person but online they can be quite intimidating, even scary when their views are disagreed with.

Im like ok sorry for even responding with a view thats mine and not yours. You are always right and everyone else is wrong or ignorant ok.
 
Dino246

Dino246

Senior Member
#3
Jun 30, 2015
25,491
13,797
113
#3
What's that smell? Is that... irony?
 
I

IFOLLOWHIM

Guest
#4
#4
I meet very few I cannot talk with!
On the other hand if conversation is controversial, I don't agree with them but feed them from a "long handled spoon"( southern saying)!
I can pass and re-pass with the best of them! Those who chose to attack or name call and pass judgment............I avoid them!

I don't need the headache of ignorant,arrogant people!
 
melita916

melita916

Senior Member
#5
Aug 12, 2011
10,464
2,692
113
#5
As an introvert, I mostly let others do the talking. But there have been times I had to distance myself from others. For example, people who constantly complain or are negative about everything in life, no thanks. I mean I try to talk with them, but then no thanks.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#6
Aug 13, 2014
27,418
9,406
113
#6
Then there are some people you can't talk to because whenever you disagree about anything they totally shut you off. They only want to talk to you if you think exactly the same way they think.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#7
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#7
I know how to deal with complainers mostly just agree with them that life is tough. We learn how in customer service what to do for these kinds of difficult people. Its more the 'im bigger than you, dont mess with me' type of person who diminishes everyone else, I think they call it belitlling thats has the underdog in me saying HEY NO, you cant just do that to others!

That's not how you treat people! But they do cos they've either been taught to or gotten away with it.
 
cinder

cinder

Senior Member
#8
Mar 26, 2014
4,433
2,419
113
#8
Then there are those people who see the world and everything in it through some sort of mental filter that's just so out there you aren't even sure they're inhabiting the same reality you inhabit. And they certainly can't ever see an alternate point of view.

Occasionally I think I might be developing some of that mental filter that's totally different from anyone else's (or at least the cultural norm), but I like to think I'm still decent at seeing things from someone else's point of view if they can anchor it in some sort of facts or reality.
 
laughingheart

laughingheart

Senior Member
#9
Sep 21, 2016
1,709
1,669
113
#9
Seeing as how we just had remembrance day I am sad to hear our veterans disrespected like this. The military serves several roles. In Canada they act as peacekeepers and when we had the floods it was the military who were called in to help. They risked their lives to help others. Many have had their lives broken to serve and help, to hold the line and to protect the innocent. I know many veterans and the pain they face physically and emotionally for the service they gave is terrible. I am not sure who you have met but I've never met someone who acts like you describe. Someone I love was shot at age 20, held off looters to protect villagers, went through the floods and later trained as a firefighter for the military and received the governor general's award for bravery twice. He went into a burning bus to check for wounded. He was in it when it blew up. To paint the soldiers the way you did is hurtful to those how have served. I am sure you didn't mean to but I did have to say that if you want open conversations with people then start with kindness.
 
love_comes_softly

love_comes_softly

Well-known member
#10
Feb 13, 2019
768
823
93
#10
I can talk with anyone. Like @melita916 , I tend to be more of a listener, but I think in working with kids, I've learned to talk with anyone about anything. I learn from everyone I talk with.

Are there people I don't enjoy talking with? Sure, but I believe if the Lord has them cross my path, there is a reason or purpose.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#11
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#11
laughingheart said:
Seeing as how we just had remembrance day I am sad to hear our veterans disrespected like this. The military serves several roles. In Canada they act as peacekeepers and when we had the floods it was the military who were called in to help. They risked their lives to help others. Many have had their lives broken to serve and help, to hold the line and to protect the innocent. I know many veterans and the pain they face physically and emotionally for the service they gave is terrible. I am not sure who you have met but I've never met someone who acts like you describe. Someone I love was shot at age 20, held off looters to protect villagers, went through the floods and later trained as a firefighter for the military and received the governor general's award for bravery twice. He went into a burning bus to check for wounded. He was in it when it blew up. To paint the soldiers the way you did is hurtful to those how have served. I am sure you didn't mean to but I did have to say that if you want open conversations with people then start with kindness.
Click to expand...
The military in nz are respected, they are peacekeeping but its other countries veterans who are acting like as I described. Some countries militaries are NOT peacekeeping at all. Am not going to name the country. i think you all know it.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#12
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#12
love_comes_softly said:
I can talk with anyone. Like @melita916 , I tend to be more of a listener, but I think in working with kids, I've learned to talk with anyone about anything. I learn from everyone I talk with.

Are there people I don't enjoy talking with? Sure, but I believe if the Lord has them cross my path, there is a reason or purpose.
Click to expand...
Children are easy to talk to. Elderly not so much because they are going deaf. I had some lovely elderly folk and some that were really hard work. The shame is that they didnt realise how grumpy and mean they were being because they got used to being that way. And when some get mad they will use every swear word in the book.
 
Mel85

Mel85

Daughter of the True King
#13
Mar 28, 2018
10,910
6,897
113
#13
Lanolin said:
Are there people you find you just cant have a decent conversation with?
Normal people give and take, wait their turn, listen, and try to understand, but some people you just cant talk with.

They either pushy or arrogant or sarcastic but have no sense of humour so they dont 'get' anything.

What do you do...just avoid them?
I cant talk to some people without them bragging about their country all the time. Its like 'you wouldnt be here if not for us' kind of arrogance and every converstion has to be about how great their country is. What is that, like country chauvinism or something?
Is it because they joined the military and have to prove how right they are to kill lots of people or something? I dont know.

I mean it might be one thing if its just sports. But if its just like how much money they have or how big an army they command then so what?
Click to expand...
It comes down to clashing or connecting personalities.

Not trying to boost my ego, but I can talk to almost everyone, at any age.

Whether they can talk to me is a different story :p
 
ArtsieSteph

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
#14
Apr 1, 2014
6,194
1,321
113
33
Arizona
#14
I have a hard time talking to people who only complain. Especially those who, when you try to change the subject to think of something more light, they refuse to change the subject and continue to bellyache.

There was a girl in my junior high who for some reason only ever had negative things to say. It was like physically draining to hear her.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#15
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#15
I had a workmate who was going through a tough time and she seemed to latch on to me cos I mostly listen but yes it was rather draining. Others would say I can't be around her shes so negative.

I remember once saying to her after she had poured out her sorrows to me wow at least you SURVIVED. I think she learned to laugh a little after that. I also gave her a book called the BLUE DAY BOOK.

However I probably would not make a good counsellor in the professional sense. It would get me down. I would rather DO something than complain about it. Its just some people have no idea what to do. Or they dont have the energy, since they spend it mostly complaining.

Ive learned its better to sympathise rather than empathasise, cos empaths take on too much. Just say thats too bad but dont try to fix the problem, lest you make it worse. Pray and Leave it with God. If He wants you to take any action, He will tell you.
 
Mel85

Mel85

Daughter of the True King
#16
Mar 28, 2018
10,910
6,897
113
#16
Lanolin said:
The military in nz are respected, they are peacekeeping but its other countries veterans who are acting like as I described. Some countries militaries are NOT peacekeeping at all. Am not going to name the country. i think you all know it.
Click to expand...
Are you from NZ?
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#17
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#17
Mel85 said:
It comes down to clashing or connecting personalities.

Not trying to boost my ego, but I can talk to almost everyone, at any age.

Whether they can talk to me is a different story :p
Click to expand...
You must have the gift of tongues . Some people dont and thus dont like to hear other people talk about it...
 
S

Susanna

Guest
#18
#18
laughingheart said:
Seeing as how we just had remembrance day I am sad to hear our veterans disrespected like this. The military serves several roles. In Canada they act as peacekeepers and when we had the floods it was the military who were called in to help. They risked their lives to help others. Many have had their lives broken to serve and help, to hold the line and to protect the innocent. I know many veterans and the pain they face physically and emotionally for the service they gave is terrible. I am not sure who you have met but I've never met someone who acts like you describe. Someone I love was shot at age 20, held off looters to protect villagers, went through the floods and later trained as a firefighter for the military and received the governor general's award for bravery twice. He went into a burning bus to check for wounded. He was in it when it blew up. To paint the soldiers the way you did is hurtful to those how have served. I am sure you didn't mean to but I did have to say that if you want open conversations with people then start with kindness.
Click to expand...
You have no idea how grateful I am to read this. Thank you so much for honoring the veterans and the people in the service.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#19
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#19
There are two very different types of military people, I met a horrible one who was my workmate just angry at evryone all the time and was very afraid he would not keep his anger in check , he was racist and arrogant and it was hard just being around him cos he thought everyone should be as stong as he was and in a bootcamp but the other was just the kindest guy you could ever meet.

I think it depends if you go in for peacekeeping or warmongering. I would defintely avoid the latter i dont need those types of people in my life.
 
Mii

Mii

Well-known member
#20
Mar 23, 2019
2,082
1,330
113
#20
I have a bad habit of "mic hogging" in conversations and using force of personality to steer it in a particular direction. I've become less prone to not letting others speak but the steering habit isn't something that's gone away. Instead of monologuing I ask targeted questions designed to draw out a response and further the topic that I am interested in...or is on my "heart" at the time.

These are spiritually relevant discussions usually and people are often pretty thankful, but unless someone is also forceful to some extent, I'm probably just going to make myself the radio host with you being my guest ;)


I'd like, to thank my guest host for taking the time to voice their opinion on my show...

"umm, I did not sign up to give you this authority..." "Ah, I see, where would you like to go from here?"

*fumbles*

"lovely weather we have been having, how is life?".



I have been getting better as things progress in my life with letting other people talk, letting them share their lives, and turning the focus to them. Usually when they don't volunteer or are slow in responses I fill in "dead air time" in some fashion. Real life convo is not radio, but for some reason, I've always been that way and have sort of learned to grow into it.
 
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