People you cant talk to

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cinder

Senior Member
Mar 26, 2014
3,233
1,264
113
#21
There are two very different types of military people, I met a horrible one who was my workmate just angry at evryone all the time and was very afraid he would not keep his anger in check , he was racist and arrogant and it was hard just being around him cos he thought everyone should be as stong as he was and in a bootcamp but the other was just the kindest guy you could ever meet.

I think it depends if you go in for peacekeeping or warmongering. I would defintely avoid the latter i dont need those types of people in my life.
Sarcasm alert:

Well gee, you mean to tell me that there are people who went into war, saw the worst of the way humanity treats each other, maybe had to kill people to avoid being killed and watch friends and family members die gruesome deaths. And when they come back to nations where people have the freedom to complain and criticize all the time and think that any little upset is horrible and the end of the world, they become a bit dismissive of people being so whimpy or have some psychological and emotional scars from what they went through in war and struggle adapting back to daily life. Maybe you should ask yourself how you'd react to a few deaths on your conscience before passing judgement on the struggles of those in the military and veterans. I for one am rather glad they deal with all that crap so that I can maintain my mental illusion of a nice, kind world where people are basically decent to each other.

No one is saying that out of control anger is a good thing, but there are probably much better and more understandable reasons for it in a vet and we should never forget that putting themselves in harms way where they are prone to develop these struggles is part of the sacrifice they make on our behalf so that we can have our peaceful normal and often rather entitled lives of first world problems.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
5,029
1,973
113
#22
Sarcasm alert:

Well gee, you mean to tell me that there are people who went into war, saw the worst of the way humanity treats each other, maybe had to kill people to avoid being killed and watch friends and family members die gruesome deaths. And when they come back to nations where people have the freedom to complain and criticize all the time and think that any little upset is horrible and the end of the world, they become a bit dismissive of people being so whimpy or have some psychological and emotional scars from what they went through in war and struggle adapting back to daily life. Maybe you should ask yourself how you'd react to a few deaths on your conscience before passing judgement on the struggles of those in the military and veterans. I for one am rather glad they deal with all that crap so that I can maintain my mental illusion of a nice, kind world where people are basically decent to each other.

No one is saying that out of control anger is a good thing, but there are probably much better and more understandable reasons for it in a vet and we should never forget that putting themselves in harms way where they are prone to develop these struggles is part of the sacrifice they make on our behalf so that we can have our peaceful normal and often rather entitled lives of first world problems.
They need counselling to deal with it not take it out on others.
Its why a lot of people commit suicide.

Im not into the whole sarcasm thing. But yes war affects everyone lest we forget. Nz had the most casualties of any nation that went to war per capita at Anzac, basically they were slaughtered and everyone knew someone who'd lost a family member. They went thinking they were fighting for freedom and gave up their lives...but the struggle of those who survived and those who lost loved ones carry on with generations of fatherless and orphans. People knew this and vowed never again to send their young men off to die. Its why military is now not compulsory to enlist. In some countries where its compulsory, they actually have no choice.

World war 2 has affected us in many ways even though many if us never saw it. Its partly why women now work so much because of loss of male breadwinners. I dont think it matters which 'side' won. Nobody really comes out winner of war when you think about it.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
5,029
1,973
113
#23
In africa nations where they have a lot of civil wars, boys as young as 14 become soldiers, they fight, and now as a result of all these wars theres so many orphans that every family is struggling to feed themselves.

Not many people ask why the state of those nations are so dire. Its basically because of war. Wars they dont need to fight..the real battle is the Lords.

In nz there were a lot of wars over land between maori and then maori and pakeha. Now people might say pakeha 'won' and the maori lost because they gave up their land and maori surrendered, but they did lose their mana i.e respect, and now generations later we see poverty and crime because the pakeha think they 'won' and now are seriously mistreating the land which they gained. Imagine the humiliation of having the land taken from under your feet and the 'winner' laying it waste.

Instead of honoring the treaty which was meant to be a peaceful partnership between two different peoples so they can live on the land together.

I say this as a second generstion kiwi who is not from either side. Ive heard a lot of terrible attiitudes from both sides regarding each other. Children today dont ask for this. They are born into this world where they dont really have a choice where they live and under what conditions.
 

PennEd

Senior Member
Apr 22, 2013
7,904
4,158
113
#24
They need counselling to deal with it not take it out on others.
Its why a lot of people commit suicide.

Im not into the whole sarcasm thing. But yes war affects everyone lest we forget. Nz had the most casualties of any nation that went to war per capita at Anzac, basically they were slaughtered and everyone knew someone who'd lost a family member. They went thinking they were fighting for freedom and gave up their lives...but the struggle of those who survived and those who lost loved ones carry on with generations of fatherless and orphans. People knew this and vowed never again to send their young men off to die. Its why military is now not compulsory to enlist. In some countries where its compulsory, they actually have no choice.

World war 2 has affected us in many ways even though many if us never saw it. Its partly why women now work so much because of loss of male breadwinners. I dont think it matters which 'side' won. Nobody really comes out winner of war when you think about it.
WOW!


Holy Lord. It doesn't matter which side wins!!? Insanely naive you are.

Do you realize in YOUR case if the Imperial Japanese Empire had won, YOU would basically be a slave, a probably even a sex slave, to that Empire?

The entire WORLD came out a winner because Nazis and Fascist Japan were defeated.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
5,029
1,973
113
#27
I can talk to people if they take the time listen to what I have to say, but if they just think im stupid and start judging me then I dont really bother.

Some arent afraid of telling me im stupid and dumb. So I dont really go out of my way to chat with those kinds. However, growing up in a family of bullies like my sister who of course is older and knows everything already by virtue of being two years older than me, I always got that anyway. I say that in a loving way. She would avoid me on purpose cos she didnt want the embarassment of me being younger than her or possibly smarter lol.

I see that in older kids at school. Some of them treat the younger ones with kindess but some are just plain mean to them. I often wonder what type of persom the mean ones will be like when they are older and how miserable they will be making others if they carry on with that kind of behaviour. When they go on to highschool they will find out if the older ones will welcome them or just dismiss them as 'turd formers' thats what we used to get called.
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
12,340
6,491
113
#28
In africa nations where they have a lot of civil wars, boys as young as 14 become soldiers, they fight, and now as a result of all these wars theres so many orphans that every family is struggling to feed themselves.
There is FAR more going on in Africa than merely "wars". Two (or more) millenia of slavery, inter-tribal rivalry, colonial exploitation, sleeping sickness, malaria, AIDS, Islam, drought, famine, and corruption all contribute to the problems that exist today. Most of these issues contribute directly to the number of orphans.
 

Susanna

Senior Member
Jan 21, 2013
3,921
874
113
#29
Sarcasm alert:

Well gee, you mean to tell me that there are people who went into war, saw the worst of the way humanity treats each other, maybe had to kill people to avoid being killed and watch friends and family members die gruesome deaths. And when they come back to nations where people have the freedom to complain and criticize all the time and think that any little upset is horrible and the end of the world, they become a bit dismissive of people being so whimpy or have some psychological and emotional scars from what they went through in war and struggle adapting back to daily life. Maybe you should ask yourself how you'd react to a few deaths on your conscience before passing judgement on the struggles of those in the military and veterans. I for one am rather glad they deal with all that crap so that I can maintain my mental illusion of a nice, kind world where people are basically decent to each other.

No one is saying that out of control anger is a good thing, but there are probably much better and more understandable reasons for it in a vet and we should never forget that putting themselves in harms way where they are prone to develop these struggles is part of the sacrifice they make on our behalf so that we can have our peaceful normal and often rather entitled lives of first world problems.
May the Lord bless you for your compassion.

❤️
 
M

Miri

Guest
#30
Lanolin,

You seem to have to many things to question and complain about,
Old people, military people, baby boomers, family, school, people who complain too much,
churches, young people,
even God as you keep referring to “poor children who didn’t ask to be born into this world.”

Sometimes it’s good to rant a bit and get things out of your system, but there has to come
a time when you have to make room for healing in your life.

Maybe it would help if you kept a blessings and gratitude journal and list down all the
things you are grateful for, no matter how small.
Roof over your head
Food on the table.
A loving Heavenly Father
Access to the internet
Living in a developed country.

It really does no good comparing yourself to others and thinking about all the
people you have met who you didn’t or couldn’t get on with - that’s unless you intend
to forgive and forget and need to get it all out of your system first.

I pray that you will know, really know Gods love, that God loves you, and
wants to heal you. He wants you to be a whole person and not harbour bitterness.
God can help you He wants to make the path straight for you but you have to meet Him
half way and allow Him to show you His love for you.

I keep getting this idea of a steep hill in the shadow on one side and the sun on the
other. Walking up the shadow side means you meander and stumble, slip back, trip etc.

The other side is just as steep but because it’s in the sun the path is easier to see and it’s
easier to look up and enjoy the sun too and feel grateful

Both sides are steep, thats just how life is at times, but it’s which side you chose to
climb which makes all the difference.
 

Ghoti2

Well-known member
Nov 8, 2019
466
279
63
#31
I have a bad habit of "mic hogging" in conversations and using force of personality to steer it in a particular direction. I've become less prone to not letting others speak but the steering habit isn't something that's gone away. Instead of monologuing I ask targeted questions designed to draw out a response and further the topic that I am interested in...or is on my "heart" at the time.

These are spiritually relevant discussions usually and people are often pretty thankful, but unless someone is also forceful to some extent, I'm probably just going to make myself the radio host with you being my guest ;)


I'd like, to thank my guest host for taking the time to voice their opinion on my show...

"umm, I did not sign up to give you this authority..." "Ah, I see, where would you like to go from here?"

*fumbles*

"lovely weather we have been having, how is life?".



I have been getting better as things progress in my life with letting other people talk, letting them share their lives, and turning the focus to them. Usually when they don't volunteer or are slow in responses I fill in "dead air time" in some fashion. Real life convo is not radio, but for some reason, I've always been that way and have sort of learned to grow into it.
You are actually among some of the best people to converse with on this forum.
 
M

Miri

Guest
#33
@Miri you have a beautiful heart!
Thank you!
I’ve been on both sides of that hill, even dreamed about it in my own life.
The shadow side is dismal, the light side is the one Jesus leads and guides
you up. Still hard but it’s easier to be with Jesus than try to do it on your
own in the dark.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
5,029
1,973
113
#37
I think if you are honest you would be doing what Jesus did, realising that, people do suffer in this world and have compassion on them, and take a really good look at yourself if you are in a position to do something about it, and not be the cause of suffering.

Many people are blind and turn a blind eye and think well, as long as im ok, and can do what I want, nobody else matters.

For example, using plastic bags. People didnt seem to care what problems they were causing until they saw it causing problems in places miles away from them. It was a case of out of sight, out of mind.
Its the same with people who think well its ok that I not only have one house but two while others are homeless, but thats too bad for them. People count up their blessings and think well I have tonnes of material blessings, but they dont think really about giving them, away.
Lanolin,

You seem to have to many things to question and complain about,
Old people, military people, baby boomers, family, school, people who complain too much,
churches, young people,
even God as you keep referring to “poor children who didn’t ask to be born into this world.”

Sometimes it’s good to rant a bit and get things out of your system, but there has to come
a time when you have to make room for healing in your life.

Maybe it would help if you kept a blessings and gratitude journal and list down all the
things you are grateful for, no matter how small.
Roof over your head
Food on the table.
A loving Heavenly Father
Access to the internet
Living in a developed country.

It really does no good comparing yourself to others and thinking about all the
people you have met who you didn’t or couldn’t get on with - that’s unless you intend
to forgive and forget and need to get it all out of your system first.

I pray that you will know, really know Gods love, that God loves you, and
wants to heal you. He wants you to be a whole person and not harbour bitterness.
God can help you He wants to make the path straight for you but you have to meet Him
half way and allow Him to show you His love for you.

I keep getting this idea of a steep hill in the shadow on one side and the sun on the
other. Walking up the shadow side means you meander and stumble, slip back, trip etc.

The other side is just as steep but because it’s in the sun the path is easier to see and it’s
easier to look up and enjoy the sun too and feel grateful

Both sides are steep, thats just how life is at times, but it’s which side you chose to
climb which makes all the difference.
I am not comparing MYSELF to others. I know God loves me. But theres still a lot of work to be done to show that God loves others. Thats what we are here for to show Gods love to others. If its just for ourselves alone, then whats the point? JEsus didnt say to Peter just feed yourself. He said, feed my sheep and feed my lambs.

Thats what we need to do care for each other, if we dont and are only just about ourselves, as the world does. Then we cant be as Christ. Faith is in action, its never alone. And our God is a God who acts, he doesnt leave the captives in prison or lets one out and says dont bother about the the rest.

Its like the child that got the gift but then refused to share. Your gift is meant to be used for others for Gods glory. Dont hide it in the ground. Thats the challenge. Many christians are not really using their gifts at all, just boasting they got salvation for themselves and not bothering to share it with others. Its pretty sad and breaks Gods heart. My challenge is for YOU to stop being complacent and make a difference.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
5,029
1,973
113
#38
The reason why Jesus built the church was so that christian could work together to make a difference. Salvation was never meant to be just an individual enndeavour. He wants to bring healing to not just our souls, but to our land. People are so intent on being indiviudals and independent without asking each other where do we fit in the body of Christ. How can we actually work together? What does God really want us to do?

Instead its people squabbling over gifts and saying well tongues have ceased and that stuff doesnt happen anymore. Or, being a christian just means you are lucky you arent starving and live in a developed country. (Which has nothing to do with anything, because christians live all over the world in all sorts of countries.)
STILL!

Paul knew the secret of being content why because he was fufilling Gods purpose. It didnt matter that so many people tried to stop him from spreading the gospel. He did it anyway! The interesting thing was he didnt waste time with people who didnt want to listen, just kept on going. Kept on believing and doing what God wanted him to do and say. Kept sticking up for the gentiles, teaching them , kept treating onesismus as a brother even though people were like isnt he a slave?

And these were even ROMANs who were regarded as the enemy. With Paul they were not to be regarded as enemies, just people to be shown Gods love.

When I hear of professed christians talking about other people or countries as if they are sworn enemies im thinking do you even know Christ? You would not be saying such rubbish if you really knew Him. People of every tribe and tongue will be praising God, not just your own.

Anyhow its good to be able to talk and be honest about stuff that you might be thrown out saying in church that doenst want to deal with these issues. Doesnt want to be brave and do something about them and rather just ignore them.
 
M

Miri

Guest
#39
I think if you are honest you would be doing what Jesus did, realising that, people do suffer in this world and have compassion on them, and take a really good look at yourself if you are in a position to do something about it, and not be the cause of suffering.

Many people are blind and turn a blind eye and think well, as long as im ok, and can do what I want, nobody else matters.

For example, using plastic bags. People didnt seem to care what problems they were causing until they saw it causing problems in places miles away from them. It was a case of out of sight, out of mind.
Its the same with people who think well its ok that I not only have one house but two while others are homeless, but thats too bad for them. People count up their blessings and think well I have tonnes of material blessings, but they dont think really about giving them, away.

I am not comparing MYSELF to others. I know God loves me. But theres still a lot of work to be done to show that God loves others. Thats what we are here for to show Gods love to others. If its just for ourselves alone, then whats the point? JEsus didnt say to Peter just feed yourself. He said, feed my sheep and feed my lambs.

Thats what we need to do care for each other, if we dont and are only just about ourselves, as the world does. Then we cant be as Christ. Faith is in action, its never alone. And our God is a God who acts, he doesnt leave the captives in prison or lets one out and says dont bother about the the rest.

Its like the child that got the gift but then refused to share. Your gift is meant to be used for others for Gods glory. Dont hide it in the ground. Thats the challenge. Many christians are not really using their gifts at all, just boasting they got salvation for themselves and not bothering to share it with others. Its pretty sad and breaks Gods heart. My challenge is for YOU to stop being complacent and make a difference.
I’m sorry if I offended you it’s just that you seem like two different people.

On the one hand complaining about everyone one and criticising them ( read your previous posts). Then on the other hand saying we should love and serve people. It’s almost like you can’t make your mind up. Or are being pulled in different directions.

We all struggle yes I do too. But I’m not double minded I don’t blame everyone else for my difficulties.

I won’t say any more on the matter but honestly I really do think you may need some sort of help or maybe you are feeling a bit down or something. I was concerned for you.
 
M

Miri

Guest
#40
Sorry ran out of time to edit but I wanted to add that

You can’t change other people, you can only change yourself. A basic counselling principal. Only God can change people.