How is your relationship with your parents?

[ArtsieSteph]

I know with modern financial situations, unless you have a great job then you may not be out of your parent’s home. And for some the attempt to be on your own was attempted, but you ended up having to go back home. I’m in the former, I never left home.

No matter your situation, do you find yourself still being assisted by your family? If so, is it just emotional support? Do they watch your kids? How has your relationship evolved?

Partly this in curiosity, because if indeed God does end up having me leave home...I’m wondering how things will change.

 

[melita916]

I lived with my parents until the day I got married. While I was with them, I worked and helped financially. I have a good relationship with them and try to visit them at least once a month. Even though I’m married, they still look out for me in the sense that if we ever need help, we can always approach them. I do the same for them.

 

[Krumbeard]

My parents are great. They have been a tremendous help to me. They have helped me financially when needed, they are always willing to help with the kids. They are an emotional support as well as prayer support.

I can tell them most anything...if I choose to.

 

[cinder]

The short version of cinder's 15 years or so of adult life. Shortly after graduating college, I got a job in my field and moved 800 miles from home to take the job and also help out a former pastor who was planting a church in that area. Had a good job, a nicer apartment than I have now (it had laundry machines inside it, I can't wait to live somewhere with laundry machines inside again), and pretty good career prospects, but my co workers were also almost all current or former special ops guys closer to my parents age than mine. And the church plant wasn't a good fit either.

So socially I was miserable (quite possibly still the most difficult and miserable year of my life) and after a year and some proding I finally admitted to myself that it totally wasn't working and tried moving home... for about a year and then I went off of my first mission adventure with YWAM and got sucked into the YWAM world which meant that I was abroad for x months and then home a few months and then back abroad for another few months. I did that for two and a half years staying with my parents and living a lot off of their subsidizing my lifestyle (which to their credit they didn't give me a blank check for my "mission work" but just treated me like one of the missionaries they supported) with free room and board during my home times (where I worked cheapy temp jobs, mostly substitute teaching). YWAM can vary a lot in different places in the world, but my experience was that it in some ways encouraged in me extended adolescence which wasn't so good; and I was perfectly content to kind of let my parent's home be home base and my permanent home though there were months at a time when I was in other countries and only my stuff was living there.

That ended by spending a few years at home (still with my parents) trying to prepare and raise support for a 3 year venture doing Bible story translation work. Support raising was one of my achille's heels during my time as an aspiring missionary and so after that 3 year venture I came home burned out and with a small enough support base that staying on the field long term wasn't going to be possible. And after months in the lazy bummitude of the burned out and fairly aimless, it was my parents again who pretty much kicked me in the butt and said if you don't get job hunting soon, you're going to have a harder time finding a decent job because a big employment gap is really ugly to prospective employers. And after some thought I started down my current whateverth career path (or at least job path) this is. Remembering the lessons from my last real job though, I definitely prioritized that the job I was looking for had to be within driving distance of Mom and Dad's so I could transition reasonably slowly into new job, new town, new place to live, figuring out how to be an american adult in america etc.

So my parents have been an awesome and huge support in my adult life, and one of the best things they've done is not continually bailed me out financially when the going got tough. They also expected me to pay rent when I was living at home and working full time and do the basic helping out around the house that you do as part of the family . They live a little over half an hour away now and I see them every few weeks to take advantage of their indoor washer and dryer (the default arrangement for that has become I buy their laundry soap when they run low) but other than that I'm pretty much independent, though I still get a lot of free dinners from them if I'm at their house during dinner time or we're out somewhere together (they also tend to get free tech support from me so this isn't always completely one sided).

Yes I have just about the best parents in the world.

 

[morefaithrequired]

Maybe better than when they were alive. I am much more appreciative.

 

[Going_Nowhere]

My mother passed away years back. My father lives in a different state and I don't talk to him often.

 

[tourist]

I had a very good relationship with my parents until the day that they died.

 

[tourist]

I know with modern financial situations, unless you have a great job then you may not be out of your parent’s home. And for some the attempt to be on your own was attempted, but you ended up having to go back home. I’m in the former, I never left home.

No matter your situation, do you find yourself still being assisted by your family? If so, is it just emotional support? Do they watch your kids? How has your relationship evolved?

Partly this in curiosity, because if indeed God does end up having me leave home...I’m wondering how things will change.

I don't believe that God will make you leave home because that is a decision that you will have to make on your own. Things will probably change for the better if or when you do leave as you will develop a sense of independence realizing that you have what it takes inside to make it in the world.

 

[tourist]

Maybe better than when they were alive. I am much more appreciative.

I feel exactly the same way that you do. Dad died 11 years ago and Mom cashed in her chips a few months ago.

 

[morefaithrequired]

I feel exactly the same way that you do. Dad died 11 years ago and Mom cashed in her chips a few months ago.

The loss of parents is an underestimated grieving process. it took me ages to recover. I was lucky I didn't lose my parents when I was younger. My aunt died at age 38 leaving 4 kids and a husband behind. That is even more traumatic for kids. (husband too)

 

[Solemateleft]

I know with modern financial situations, unless you have a great job then you may not be out of your parent’s home. And for some the attempt to be on your own was attempted, but you ended up having to go back home. I’m in the former, I never left home.

No matter your situation, do you find yourself still being assisted by your family? If so, is it just emotional support? Do they watch your kids? How has your relationship evolved?

Partly this in curiosity, because if indeed God does end up having me leave home...I’m wondering how things will change.

My mom lives 3,000 miles away and I call here every weekend (over the past three years - while I struggled thru a failing marriage) . My mom was widowed at 38 years old and raised 6 kids on her own and then she lost one of her sons at 53. As a result we are all very close to our mom. Three siblings raised their families within 5 miles of her, and she has been blessed with nephew and nieces who visit and adore her. While my oldest brother and I joined the military and raised family great distances, she is always there for us and only a phone call away...
Albeit - when I was busy raising my family and focusing on my career on the other side of the country, I wasn't always as diligent about calling her as frequent as I do now. Since she is now 85 - not getting any younger - this is one of my biggest regrets and struggles - knowing that her time with us is limited.
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree...
I have three adult kids (18-24) they are all 'over-achievers' and I anticipate that in their pursuit for their ambitious lives; while there is no doubt that they love me, and that they will be home for the holidays - I suspect that checking in on my may not always be a priority... At the same time, they all know that I am only a text/phone call away to be their for them whenever they need something...
Going home for family reunions and visiting the home that I was raised in is always a treat for my kids... I am excited to keep the home where my kids were raised so that they can enjoy the comforts of home when they visit...
Looking forward to the days (in the future) that they begin to bring their young families home to visit...

 

[zeroturbulence]

I feel exactly the same way that you do. Dad died 11 years ago and Mom cashed in her chips a few months ago.

Oh I had no idea your mom had passed. Sorry for your loss, Tourist.

 

[17Bees]

Dad died about 9 years ago. My real mother had me and said "Nope. No. Uh uh. No, uh like NO. and NO. Did I mention NO?" and wasn't in my life. I had a sister that kinda went back and forth between the two and that's why she's chronically fickle. My dad raised me along with an uncle and aunt. My dad would take a liking to a woman and start dating and would say things like "don't blow this for me, son".

 

[love_comes_softly]

My parents are everything to me. I'm beyond blessed having them in my life. My parents each have a heart for others in completely different, but loving ways. They have been great in every aspect of my life. They are both wonderful teachers, leaders, role models and wonderful friends especially as I get older.

I respect them greatly and my love and appreciation for them grows each day. They really are amazing people. My relationship with my parents will forever be strong whether near or far.

Whether they knew it or not, my parents really did a wonderful job immitating what a relationship with the Lord should be like.

 

[17Bees]

lovecomessoftly (I like to call her oftly) shamed me a little. I don't know that I can explain this well, but my little family was never ever much on expressing our feelings. Especially towards one another. I can assure, though, that under that molehill of expression was a mountain of dedication, love, and loyalty. My dad would have died for me. And maybe actually did.

Lava flowed a little a few months after he died. He fished a lot. Cleaned a lot of fish, too. He had this little "cleaning station" (he called it) and would wear this cut resistant chain-like butcher's glove. And a bit after he died, I was back there at his cleaning station and there on the bench was my father's glove frozen stiff from the dried guts and blood of the hundreds of fish cleaned. It was shaped like a perfect bronze of my dad's hand. His finger was pointed out a little and reminded me of Michelangelo's finger of Adam reaching out for the touch of God. And my knees gave way and I sat in the grass and cried when I hadn't before.

 

[Pipp]

I still live at home and am helping financially while my dad battles cancer. My parents have never pushed me to leave and we have a great relationship. I wouldn't mind being on my own someday , but I believe I'm exactly where God wants me for now..

 

[Mel85]

I know with modern financial situations, unless you have a great job then you may not be out of your parent’s home. And for some the attempt to be on your own was attempted, but you ended up having to go back home. I’m in the former, I never left home.

No matter your situation, do you find yourself still being assisted by your family? If so, is it just emotional support? Do they watch your kids? How has your relationship evolved?

Partly this in curiosity, because if indeed God does end up having me leave home...I’m wondering how things will change.

I have a great relationship with my parents, as well as family. We’re all about family. We support each other spiritually, emotionally, financially you name it. We do have our boundaries but at the end of the day, blood is blood and we have strong ties with our immediate and external families.

I also think it comes down to my parents and how they raised us. Growing up, we all stayed in the same room until we were in our teens, but even then we’d have those times when it was movie night we’d all shack in the living room to hangout.

Now some of us siblings who have gone off to get married and have their own families carry on that same tradition that we had experienced, and I guess for us, it brought us closer to even nowadays.

 

[Mel85]

I still live at home and am helping financially while my dad battles cancer. My parents have never pushed me to leave and we have a great relationship. I wouldn't mind being on my own someday , but I believe I'm exactly where God wants me for now..

I’m sorry your dad is battling cancer praying for him x

Also, like you I’m at home with my parents, they have never asked me to leave or anything, I guess it works out cos I’m not married but I fully want to look after them in any way possible - it’s the very LEAST I can do for them, they are my hearts.

 

[CozHElivesIcanface2morrow]

Yay! I love this thread ❤


I never left our house...but I am not living with my parents because I am far away from home working abroad
I came from a poor big family...so I learned to work at an early age... helping my parents in my own little ways...at the age of 21 I started supporting my family financially, for my parents medications,food and bills as well as for my younger siblings education).

I am the 3rd child. I have 8 siblings and our house has never been quiet but I don't want it any other way(this is the thing that i miss so much way back home ) My relationship with my parents haven't always been full of happiness... There were times I questioned God why I was born in a poor family... but that was when i was a kid and in my early teen years My parents were never appreciative, cuddly and vocal to express their love in words but we know and understand their beautiful ways to express their love.

It is quite a big responsibility on my shoulder but my family gives me so much motivation to work hard. I am working harder and better because I know that no one else will going to help me (not a complain)I understand the situation... Living away with my parents was hard especially during the first few months to one year but I was able to cope with the changes... I need to and I have to for my family and for myself looking back now i am so grateful that I left home Living on my own helps me so much to become a responsible person. Living away from my parents makes our heart grow fonder we become closer and more vocal in words as the days goes by

Don't worry about the changes at first it will be hard but slowly you'll get used to it. You'll be fine


Our relationship to our parents grow with time and as we grow older. They are imperfect but I know they are doing their best they could to assist us to help us . I could not ask for a better family, God has blessed me with imperfect but wonderful parents. We grew up deprived financially and lacking with so many things. We never experienced that 3 words called "I love you" when we were growing up but there is no need of words because I know that if i go back home now they are waiting for me ready to embrace me with their loving arms ❤
Parents are old already... and I am away from home... I am praying to God that before the time comes... I'll be given a chance to take care of them walk with them change their diapers hold their hands just like all of these years they've been there for us I want to be there for them until the very end...

Sorry... I talked so much yay

 

[Mel85]

Yay! I love this thread ❤


I never left our house...but I am not living with my parents because I am far away from home working abroad
I came from a poor big family...so I learned to work at an early age... helping my parents in my own little ways...at the age of 21 I started supporting my family financially, for my parents medications,food and bills as well as for my younger siblings education).

I am the 3rd child. I have 8 siblings and our house has never been quiet but I don't want it any other way(this is the thing that i miss so much way back home ) My relationship with my parents haven't always been full of happiness... There were times I questioned God why I was born in a poor family... but that was when i was a kid and in my early teen years My parents were never appreciative, cuddly and vocal to express their love in words but we know and understand their beautiful ways to express their love.

It is quite a big responsibility on my shoulder but my family gives me so much motivation to work hard. I am working harder and better because I know that no one else will going to help me (not a complain)I understand the situation... Living away with my parents was hard especially during the first few months to one year but I was able to cope with the changes... I need to and I have to for my family and for myself looking back now i am so grateful that I left home Living on my own helps me so much to become a responsible person. Living away from my parents makes our heart grow fonder we become closer and more vocal in words as the days goes by

Don't worry about the changes at first it will be hard but slowly you'll get used to it. You'll be fine


Our relationship to our parents grow with time and as we grow older. They are imperfect but I know they are doing their best they could to assist us to help us . I could not ask for a better family, God has blessed me with imperfect but wonderful parents. We grew up deprived financially and lacking with so many things. We never experienced that 3 words called "I love you" when we were growing up but there is no need of words because I know that if i go back home now they are waiting for me ready to embrace me with their loving arms ❤
Parents are old already... and I am away from home... I am praying to God that before the time comes... I'll be given a chance to take care of them walk with them change their diapers hold their hands just like all of these years they've been there for us I want to be there for them until the very end...

Sorry... I talked so much yay

Well said sister