The Virgin Porn Addict -- Why Do We Differentiate So Much Between Sins of the Heart and the Body?

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BrotherMike

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
#81
Jan 8, 2018
1,617
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#81
Desdichado said:
I'll also add that there are other sins that typically accompany or spur pornographic addiction. Sloth is the big one. Idle hands are the devil's playground.

TL;DR- Sin is sin. Wax is wax.
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Im not addicted to porn and don’t have any interest in it but your comment made me think... sloth is a sin which means over eating where that food you over eat can go to the poor who can’t afford food or laziness or idle hands. I admit I’ve been sometimes lazy mainly through a rough schedule but being lazy is sinning... just takes you a step back for a min and evaluate my life. Bible says we all have sinned and fallen short. It’s so true and need His grace every day.
 
Butterflyyy

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
#82
Oct 31, 2019
1,613
1,318
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#82
BrotherMike said:
Im not addicted to porn and don’t have any interest in it but your comment made me think... sloth is a sin which means over eating where that food you over eat can go to the poor who can’t afford food or laziness or idle hands. I admit I’ve been sometimes lazy mainly through a rough schedule but being lazy is sinning... just takes you a step back for a min and evaluate my life. Bible says we all have sinned and fallen short. It’s so true and need His grace every day.
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Being tired isn't being lazy bro
 
Butterflyyy

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
#83
Oct 31, 2019
1,613
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#83
Desdichado said:
The entire point of that passage is that mental/physical sin is a distinction without a difference. Both are equally damnable. The research being done on porn addiction leads me to believe it's comparably destructive in terms of practical consequences. A lot of Christians and even non-Christians are becoming alert to this.

Your friend may not realize it now, but if they're ever in a relationship they can trust it will take a toll. If they never end up in a relationship, it has already taken a toll.

I'll also add that there are other sins that typically accompany or spur pornographic addiction. Sloth is the big one. Idle hands are the devil's playground.

TL;DR- Sin is sin. Wax is wax.
Click to expand...
If we truly belong to Jesus then we can do all things through Him that strengthens us. His Word is more powerful than any two edged sword dividing between soul and spirit.
My friend has been very broken and honest about the snare she was caught in, and though the righteous man stumble he will get up again. If we say we do not sin, we lie and do not the truth, but if we confess our sin He is faithful and just to forgive it. Trusting in Jesus' blood with true repentance is powerful.

I think your point about future relationships is very good and helpful.

I have to say though, she works very hard; and anyone can be tempted by one sin or another; which is why Jesus told us to pray, " lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil."
We all have an enemy roaming around seeking whom he may devour, we must all be vigilant as the scripture says.
 
M

MegMarch

Guest
#85
#85
Desdichado said:
The entire point of that passage is that mental/physical sin is a distinction without a difference. Both are equally damnable. The research being done on porn addiction leads me to believe it's comparably destructive in terms of practical consequences. A lot of Christians and even non-Christians are becoming alert to this.

Your friend may not realize it now, but if they're ever in a relationship they can trust it will take a toll. If they never end up in a relationship, it has already taken a toll.

I'll also add that there are other sins that typically accompany or spur pornographic addiction. Sloth is the big one. Idle hands are the devil's playground.

TL;DR- Sin is sin. Wax is wax.
Click to expand...
This is a brilliant summarization of the main point of those verses and the topic. Addressing the research is furthermore convincing.

The sins in our hearts will indeed manifest themselves reaping consequences, which is why it is the kindness of the Lord to lead us to repentance.

Clearly we know, but it is not futile in stating again, that he is doing what is best for us by creating clean hearts in us. As we sow to the Spirit, from the Spirit, we will reap eternal life as it says in Galatians 6:8.
 
S

Scribe

Guest
#86
#86
Looking at porn is just as sinful as being with that stranger. We understand that. If they are a virgin but practice pornography they are in sexual sin and their virginity is nothing to boast about. I get that.

You would not want to marry someone addicted to porn even if they were a virgin.

However, marrying a virgin who is not addicted to, or guilty of porn is no indication of a successful marriage either. Someone could pick up a porn problem later.

My point is, do not put the emphasis on finding a virgin but rather find someone who is filled with the Holy Spirit and loving God and Jesus Christ with their whole heart, body, mind, and strength and who has a passion for fulfilling the great commission. Do not hold against them their past before they were born again, as long as they are living holy today and Christ has their whole heart. Make that your criteria and you will have a happy marriage and a happy life.

Yes, you can find someone like that who is also a virgin but their virginity does not give them any right-standing with God nor does yours. Remember that.
 
Dino246

Dino246

Senior Member
#87
Jun 30, 2015
25,470
13,782
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#87
BrotherMike said:
Im not addicted to porn and don’t have any interest in it but your comment made me think... sloth is a sin which means over eating where that food you over eat can go to the poor who can’t afford food or laziness or idle hands. I admit I’ve been sometimes lazy mainly through a rough schedule but being lazy is sinning... just takes you a step back for a min and evaluate my life. Bible says we all have sinned and fallen short. It’s so true and need His grace every day.
Click to expand...
One brief comment: gluttony is overeating. Sloth is lack of initiative and avoidance of work.
 
P

Princesse

Active member
#91
Feb 16, 2020
259
123
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#91
I think the bigger issue is the reality we each have things we can set aside and others that are too grave to forget or live with. While I don’t have a problem with someone who had intercourse with others. It would be another matter if they frequented brothels or engaged in same sex behavior. Not because I haven’t heard worse. When you talk about relationships for 20+ years you’ve heard it all.

My litmus test comes down to respect. If I’m struggling or viewing them askance its probable I’m the wrong fit. I’m reminded of a pastor I met at a neighborhood church. He shared his testimony and how a stint in prison led him to Christ. When he was released he enrolled in bible college, finished his degree, and was hired by the church. It was a wonderful story of redemption. He found a lovely wife and has a beautiful son.

But unlike her, I couldn’t do the same for several reasons. Namely the necessity of setting an example for my daughter and the certainty of upset and intervention that would come. My friends and family would vehemently oppose the union and the likelihood of acceptance from them is slim to none.

And while I’m not a people pleaser by any stripe. I wouldn’t subject myself or another to that. Everyone wants to be welcomed with open arms. And example aside, I’m not certain I have the temperament to deal with that long-term.

I don’t think it’s kind to devolve into fingerpointing. But it’s equally unwise to convince yourself you can handle something based on supposition. Especially if your experience (or lack) says otherwise.

And while I’m not bothered by virgins or those who’ve had relations. I am unlikely to align myself with a man with no experience with the opposite sex. I’m not speaking sexually but on a relational level. The learning curve is steep and I prefer someone who knows themselves.

As for the other matter, the same held true in the past. Many claimed innocence if they didn’t go all the way. But toeing the line and more were fine. I think it’s semantics and I’m unlikely to validate their version of innocence.

Nonetheless, pornography and copulation are not the same. Self-stimulation is a different form of pleasure than the one derived from another’s hand. Given the number of Christians doing the same (watching porn). I’d surmise the likelihood of its performance is pretty strong. Whether the practice is continuous is something else.

In light of the gravity that women place on the subject when they discover their partner’s behavior. I’m honestly surprised the topic isn’t addressed more frequently. In most instances it’s raised when a man admits a struggle and desires help.

Unlike most, I don’t believe a man’s decision to engage pornography is a reflection of my sexuality or appeal. Some people struggle with lust or are less temperate than others. As with most things, we have challenges in places and victory in others.

I am more likely to probe the root of its attraction. Not assuming he’s unstable or perverted. But to grasp the need and devise a healthier way of meeting it if possible.
 
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