Dating web-sites?

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CatleesiGamerMom said:
I've found that dating sites are a huge waste of time for me. I put a lot of effort into my profiles/intros to give a detailed explanation about who I am, what I'm looking for in a partner, etc. but very few read before sending a message so I'm answering questions that I had already clarified in my profile. Then, once a promising conversation happens, the topic of sex and intimacy comes up, and when I reply that I'm content with my celibacy, have no libido/sexual desire, do not "take care of it myself", then I end up getting ridiculed and "ghosted". :rolleyes:
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It is more of a meat market than a meet market :oops::censored:
 
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KhedetOrthos said:
...if a guy was looking to get married and have a handful of kids that would be a bit of a deal killer there.
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At my age, I’m not looking to carry and give birth to a handful of kids. If he already happened to have kids, I’m fine with a blended family. Sex is just the last of my priorities, especially when I’m single. I think that last part is what scares the men off.
 
CatleesiGamerMom said:
At my age, I’m not looking to carry and give birth to a handful of kids. If he already happened to have kids, I’m fine with a blended family. Sex is just the last of my priorities, especially when I’m single. I think that last part is what scares the men off.
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I imagine that what you intend to say is something along the lines of, I don't have a problem with sexual self control and the sexual aspect of the relationship is not a make or break factor. But what they're hearing (I'm not a guy so guys feel free to correct me if I'm getting it wrong) is more along the lines of "I'm not at all interested in sex with you now or ever even if this relationship were to progress to marriage. I just don't care about sex and you won't be getting very much of it in a relationship / marriage with me". I can understand why guys wouldn't want to stick around if they heard that message.

Though I totally agree with the idea that the quality of the sex is a terrible thing to make the foundation or determining factor of a relationship.
 
CatleesiGamerMom said:
At my age, I’m not looking to carry and give birth to a handful of kids. If he already happened to have kids, I’m fine with a blended family. Sex is just the last of my priorities, especially when I’m single. I think that last part is what scares the men off.
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It only scares off the men that really aren't worth considering for a future spouse.
 
seoulsearch said:
I was trying to count in my head the number of couples I could recall during my time here (granted, it's been a while.)

Off the top of my head, I could remember about 10 (most had announced it publicly on social media, so it wasn't just rumors.)

How many of those couples are still together today?

Hmm... JesusLives and Tourist. At least, that's all I know of, and I'm sure there were/are many more. Most were just relationships but a few were marriages. Some fell in love with people who didn't really exist in real life, but were made up for the internet.

There was another particular marriage that I remember seeing publicly announced here but they both left the site, so I don't know what happened. I hope everything worked out for them, as they seemed like a good match.

I'm certainly not trying to discourage anyone. This site has been an enormous blessing to me for meeting friends, both online and then later in real life, so I have no doubt that couples can find each other here as well.

However, I also think that it's important to be realistic. To only say that marriages are made here but not also have the heartaches and breakups mentioned too would be like promoting prosperity preaching.

As for who these people were, that was in the past, and their stories are theirs alone to tell.

However, the most common reason given for the breakups, when a public reason was given, seemed to be because of long distances that were tough to work around.
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Hmm... Thinking back on the ones that have come looking for a relationship, those who found relationships, and the ones that have not failed (that we know of) I can't think of one single couple formed out of people who came looking for a partner. All the couples I know were made from people who were just hanging out here and happened to meet somebody.

In fact that's how all the successful relationships I know of got started - at church, at the local restaurant, at work, online, everywhere - they all were just doing what they were doing, and happened to find love. I have never known of a relationship that was started by somebody actively looking for a relationship, that lasted until death did them part.

Now I'm not saying it can't happen. I'm not saying if you go looking for a relationship, any you find is doomed to fail. I'm just saying I've never heard of one that lasted.
 
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Butterflyyy said:
Do you believe that God leads His people to be together in marriage or do you think it is something that Christians weigh up and decide about themselves?
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How do Christians know when God is leading them to marry someone? Do they hear a voice? Does God tell them in a dream? Or do they get the instruction from someone who has the gift of prophecy?

There are some Christians who declared at the start of their marriage that it was God who brought them together. But down the road they get divorced. What went wrong there?

What about people who made decisions in business and other areas of their life, only to see it go horribly wrong. These same people in the beginning said that God was leading them, so what went wrong there?
 
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Dino246 said:
The crux of the matter is God's will; not His permissive will, but His directive will. If He is telling the man to move to the woman's location, then the man should go. Otherwise, he shouldn't. The same question goes for her. :)
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How does someone know when God is telling them to do something?

When pastor or prophet or a church brother/sister comes up to you and say, "God told me to tell you, you must marry this or that person." What do you do with that information?
 
selfdissolving said:
yeah i used the Facebook one for a hot minute. It does suck that you can't filter through matches. I had a girl on there who claimed she was Christian DEMANDING abstinence before marriage only to discover that she smokes weed like a chimney every day.
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Was she wrong to demand abstinence because she smokes?

Are you saying Christians who have not been delivered from smoking, might as well go ahead and fornicate too?
 
Kim82 said:
How does someone know when God is telling them to do something?

When pastor or prophet or a church brother/sister comes up to you and say, "God told me to tell you, you must marry this or that person." What do you do with that information?
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You be VERY careful... humans make errors/..I've heard of this a few times and it was wayyyy off🤦🏼‍♀️You need to know for sure yourself👌🙏🏻
 
Kim82 said:
How do Christians know when God is leading them to marry someone? Do they hear a voice? Does God tell them in a dream? Or do they get the instruction from someone who has the gift of prophecy?

There are some Christians who declared at the start of their marriage that it was God who brought them together. But down the road they get divorced. What went wrong there?

What about people who made decisions in business and other areas of their life, only to see it go horribly wrong. These same people in the beginning said that God was leading them, so what went wrong there?
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I don't know whether we can always say that because it went wrong it wasn't God... it's very difficult this narrow way that we walk... we have an enemy roaming around... Christians are not immune to going off track are they (David comes to mind)... but one thing I know is that the times I have heard God speak to me very clearly I can count on one hand... other times when I thought it was God and it wasn't have frightened me... but there have definitely been very clear times and the things came to pass.
Dreams are difficult, I think if they come to pass, like prophecies, then we know they were true; and this is how it was for Joseph when he had his dreams and went through many years of trial until the dreams came to fruition.
I know that when I seek God with all my heart I do find Him; and I could walk closer, more consistently than I do and maybe I would hear God more clearly if I did🤦🏼‍♀️But I trust Him to lead me and to close doors if I am going down a wrong path-He does say afterall, ask and it shall be given you. His sheep hear His voice, but it is important that we test every spirit👌🙏🏻x
 
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