Hypothetical situation

[Sharp]

What if you buy some jewellry for a girl, but you never give it to her, because it doesn't work out.

Is it ok to give that jewellry to another girl? Is it dishonest?

What do you say if she asks you when you bought it, why and for whom?


Warning: A poll may accompany this thread in the future.

 

[seoulsearch]

Wow. I would totally get rid of it and get something new for the new person of interest, but that's just me--for exactly the same reasons as you state. I mean... "Yeah, I actually bought it for someone else but it cost me a bit of money (or at least an amount that meant something to me), and I didn't want to lose out on the money (or the points it scores me with a female love interest), so here you go, nothing but the best for you, baby! Oh, and I was thinking about you the entire time I considered re-gifting this piece of exclusively chosen-for... someone else... piece of jewelry..."

Uh, I wouldn't expect the relationship to last long. I would also strongly advise against lying and trying to pass it off as something brand new--ESPECIALLY an engagement ring. God may give her an uneasy feeling about it, and for good reason... and you'd just have to come clean anyway.

Looking at it from the other point of view--I'm sure you gentlemen would NOT want to receive something we ladies bought for another man!!! I haven't been in a relationship in a very long time but when I am, I really like buying things for my guy that I think he would like. But... let's be real. What guy would want to, let's say, receive a sports jersey, along with a greeting such as, "Oh, I knew you'd like it, my ex-boyfriend just LOVED that team and player too and by the way, I originally bought it FOR HIM, but since it didn't work out and you came along... thank goodness it wasn't wasted!! Here you go, O' Love Of My Life!"

Um... I'm thinking... NOT.

Sharp! Good to see you around again, by the way!

 

[Jullianna]

As seoulsearch said, I wouldn't recommend it. And not only for the reasons she said.

If you bought the jewelry for another lady and you see your present lady wearing it from time to time, it may cause your mind to drift to the person you originally bought it for. That kinda murks the waters up a bit. Just not a good idea.

 

[seoulsearch]

Not only that... and Jullianna has excellent points, as always, but what if Lady Number One knows or runs into Lady Number Two and sees Lady Number Two wearing the jewelry you originally bought for Lady Number One? Can you say... hurricane!! Even worse... other people might realize the second-hand jewelry as well (your friends, if you showed it to them... various family members... people at church... your pastor...) and may say something to Current Love Interest about her lovely, second-hand tokens of your love.

All I can say is... Be prepared to move to another region... probably on the other side of the world, if possible... and sometimes even then, the distance isn't far enough. Women who receive hints or blatant evidence that they are second choice/best are about as friendly as an agitated hornets' nest... (I speak from experience.)

 

[NukePooch]

I agree with the ladies above, just because it will likely save you grief. Unload it on ebay and move on.

However, if a girlyfriend had something she bought for some other guy, and I needed/wanted it, I wouldn't have any issue taking it...as long as I knew. If she passed it off as something special for me, no thanks.

 

[truffleshuffle]

i think its endearing. especially when the jewelry he gives me has his ex girlfriend's name somewhere on it. makes me feel like hes just giving me another pet name.

- Kay.

 

[jangel]

Is it ok to give that jewellry to another girl? YES
Is it dishonest? NO

If you bought a jewelry for a girl and you gave it but the relationship didn't work, are you the type of guy who will take it back just because of that reason? of course it's so odd if you will do that unless the girl will initiate to return it, then you're lucky.

If you bought a jewelry, never give it yet and found out she's not the right girl, then that's fine, for me you can give it to another girl.
It's rare to girls to ask when, why and for whom but if she does then just simply tell her... I bought this for the right girl and that girl happens to be you.

easy and simple but of course that's just for me...

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

------------inappropriate--------------

 

[seoulsearch]

LOL... Truffle's post was classic. I mean... if your name is Katie, and he gives you a necklace that says, "Jennifer"... imagine all the warm, fuzzy feelings that girl is going to have for you.

Kind of like when a girl gets another guy's name tattooed on her body. I've known at least one girl who's done that. (And yes, I know guys sometimes do this as well.)

Fortunately, I don't plan on getting any tattoos. Hopefully I will get myself into less trouble that way.

 

[minnesotablu]

Honestly, it depends on the girl.

Personally, if a guy gave me something that he had originally bought for someone else (granted, as long as it's not personalized or was a "returned" gift from her), I could care less. Hahaha Do you ladies really give your man a run down of why he bought you something and when and where he bought it? If someone gives me something pretty my general reaction is "Awww! Shiney! Thank you!" I put it on... and that's the end of it. Haha! If he wants to tell me why he bought it for me, all the better, but I'm not going to ask.

*shrugs*

 

[zeroturbulence]

[edited inappropriate quoted content]

You know, I was REALLY hungry when I started reading this thread. Thanks for fixing that for me, Nod!

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

You know, I was REALLY hungry when I started reading this thread. Thanks for fixing that for me, Nod!

Anything for you zero!!!

 

[BillyTheKid]

If a woman gives me 20 questions about the gift, then I think it is all about material with her and not meaning. I think it would be fine to give it to her. Unless or course it was a airbrushed t-shirt with your ex's name on it

 

[NukePooch]

Kind of like when a girl gets another guy's name tattooed on her body. I've known at least one girl who's done that. (And yes, I know guys sometimes do this as well.)

Fortunately, I don't plan on getting any tattoos. Hopefully I will get myself into less trouble that way.

Or...if you do tattoo some guys name on you, make sure it's Jon or Bob or something more common. Might be a bit hard to find a replacement 'Xander' or 'Elon' to match your tattoo.

 

[NukePooch]

i think its endearing. especially when the jewelry he gives me has his ex girlfriend's name somewhere on it. makes me feel like hes just giving me another pet name.

- Kay.

What a classy gift. I'm confused. Is Rhonda supposed to wear her own name or is Steve supposed to wear Rhonda's?

BTW, 'TruffleShuffle' is an awesome name.
"Everything. OK! I'll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I played Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog..."

 

[StPaulIsMyHomeboy]

Personally I avoid it. In my past relationships I just let the girl I was with have whatever, no sense in me keeping it, it was my gift to her, you know?

(So she should get the cash for when it's pawned, lol. )

 

[truffleshuffle]

What a classy gift. I'm confused. Is Rhonda supposed to wear her own name or is Steve supposed to wear Rhonda's?

BTW, 'TruffleShuffle' is an awesome name.
"Everything. OK! I'll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I played Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog..."

hahahhahahaha thats my favorite scene!

 

[NukePooch]

hahahhahahaha thats my favorite scene!

Chunk is the best reason to watch that movie..."They got Swanson's! They got Mississippi Mud, and they got Chocolate Eruption....It'sss aaaaa STIFFFFF!"

 

[truffleshuffle]

know whats sad? hes thin now. =[.

 

[Jullianna]

If a woman gives me 20 questions about the gift, then I think it is all about material with her and not meaning. I think it would be fine to give it to her. Unless or course it was a airbrushed t-shirt with your ex's name on it

I can't imagine giving a guy the third degree about a gift. That's just wierd, unless it's something unusual and you're wondering why that thing made him think of you.