Funny stories in the Bible

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JaumeJ

JaumeJ

Senior Member
#181
Jul 2, 2011
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#181
All who believe Jesus in spirit and truth walk on water constantly. The nations are a raging seas, and we, being of the Kingdom yet to come, walk in spite of their rage.
 
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UnoiAmarah

Junior Member
#182
Jul 28, 2017
907
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#182
Lanolin said:
have you done it? Just wondering.

What? walked on a boat, sure many times, and the boat was on water too. But as far as actually walking directly on the surface of the water then that upon which state you are referring unto? It is illegal in some states to walk on water, here a video of a guy getting busted in one state while walking on water.


That's why I had to ride my motorcycle across a 200 foot wide river to go to and from school each day cause I wasn't going to walk no 4 miles down to the bridge in order to walk to school. Kinda funny how believers can't believe something is true without proof but won't believe proof unless it proves what they believe is true.


Lanolin said:
I dont know how many steps Peter took before sinking.
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I would say one if you count the step from when the foot first touches the water, but then again I would count walking in the water as walking on water since walking on water means that the foot wouldn't sink below level of the water's surface.
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UnoiAmarah

Junior Member
#183
Jul 28, 2017
907
141
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#183
JaumeJ said:
All who believe Jesus in spirit and truth walk on water constantly.
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Yeah, and they say the moon has large amounts of water on its surface, it's just not H20 water


1 John 4:2
Heb 13:8
Luke 24:36-39
 
JaumeJ

JaumeJ

Senior Member
#184
Jul 2, 2011
21,429
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#184
My contribution is from the Word where the peoples are reverred to as raging waters, and Peter did walk on th eliteral water but a wind came up , he lost his faith andsank down and the Lord lifted him out of the water. Certainly, after Pentacost all the Aposstles walked on waters...
 
JaumeJ

JaumeJ

Senior Member
#185
Jul 2, 2011
21,429
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#185
According to geologic theory water laden asteroids and other water laden bodies plummeted to what is called earth bringing the water ot this plantet. Another crackpot theory trying 5to replace creation, but it is a theory of this age….....as for the moon, I believe it is safe to say no water is on its durgace, all of the seas it has are simply names not qualities.
 
B

BibleStudent60

Member
#186
Apr 17, 2019
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#186
memyselfi said:
Isaiah 44:13-19 New International Version (NIV)
13 The carpenter measures with a line
and makes an outline with a marker;
he roughs it out with chisels
and marks it with compasses.
He shapes it in human form,
human form in all its glory,
that it may dwell in a shrine.
14 He cut down cedars,
or perhaps took a cypress or oak.
He let it grow among the trees of the forest,
or planted a pine, and the rain made it grow.
15 It is used as fuel for burning;
some of it he takes and warms himself,
he kindles a fire and bakes bread.
But he also fashions a god and worships it;
he makes an idol and bows down to it.
16 Half of the wood he burns in the fire;
over it he prepares his meal,
he roasts his meat and eats his fill.
He also warms himself and says,
“Ah! I am warm; I see the fire.”
17 From the rest he makes a god, his idol;
he bows down to it and worships.
He prays to it and says,
“Save me! You are my god!”
18 They know nothing, they understand nothing;
their eyes are plastered over so they cannot see,
and their minds closed so they cannot understand.
19 No one stops to think,
no one has the knowledge or understanding to say,
“Half of it I used for fuel;
I even baked bread over its coals,
I roasted meat and I ate.
Shall I make a detestable thing from what is left?
Shall I bow down to a block of wood?”


This is one of my favorite Scriptures.... I crack up at laughing at G-d's sarcasm.... I realized how "funny" G-d IS and Hid sense of hummer in this Scripture!!! HE IS SOOOOO FUNNY!!!! You may need to understand sarcasm to apricate it!
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I quite agree; these verses are so funny, yet poignant in their veracity. Yes, we can still have a sense of humor and indeed we must, even though the scriptures and end times are extremely serious. This has been a wonderful thread and thanks to those who have been contributing.

I enjoy the one in 1 Kings 18, wherein Elijah is mocking the false gods who are not "showing up" and he says, maybe
"he has excrement and has to go to the privy;" you just gotta like Elijah as his sarcasm is spot on!
 
G

Grandpa

Senior Member
#187
Jun 24, 2011
11,551
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#187
BibleStudent60 said:
I quite agree; these verses are so funny, yet poignant in their veracity. Yes, we can still have a sense of humor and indeed we must, even though the scriptures and end times are extremely serious. This has been a wonderful thread and thanks to those who have been contributing.

I enjoy the one in 1 Kings 18, wherein Elijah is mocking the false gods who are not "showing up" and he says, maybe
"he has excrement and has to go to the privy;" you just gotta like Elijah as his sarcasm is spot on!
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Maybe he's on vacation.... :ROFL:

I think that ones funny too...

1 Kings 18:27 And it came to pass at noon, that Elijah mocked them, and said, Cry aloud: for he is a god; either he is talking, or he is pursuing, or he is in a journey, or peradventure he sleepeth, and must be awaked.
 
ArtsieSteph

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
#188
Apr 1, 2014
6,194
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Arizona
#188
Hmmm funny....Man I know there are funny ones but I can't think of one
 
G

Grandpa

Senior Member
#189
Jun 24, 2011
11,551
3,190
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#189
ArtsieSteph said:
Hmmm funny....Man I know there are funny ones but I can't think of one
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How about all of Johns bragging?

Saying he was the Apostle in whom Christ loved. And how he beat Peter to the tomb...

John 20:2-4
2 Then she runneth, and cometh to Simon Peter, and to the other disciple, whom Jesus loved, and saith unto them, They have taken away the Lord out of the sepulchre, and we know not where they have laid him.

3 Peter therefore went forth, and that other disciple, and came to the sepulchre.

4 So they ran both together: and the other disciple did outrun Peter, and came first to the sepulchre.


This is really funny how it is SUCH a brag but written in a way to be kind of an anonymous one. Even though it isn't...:LOL:

If I was an original Apostle this is exactly how I would have my story recorded too...:ROFL:
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#190
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#190
yea the 'I was here first' kind of thing. Thats happens still with children the world over.

Hey nobody's quite noticing that woman was the very last creation to be made. So theres something to be said that God saved the best for last. And Jesus did say, the first shall be last and the last shall be first.

so stop your boasting folks.

I would love to see the Olympic games in reverse celebrating all the athletes and teams who came last.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#191
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
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#191
also, the disciple whom Jesus loved, conveniently forgot the fact that it was MARY who first saw the resurrected Jesus. So why was he running when Mary was also running to tell them, she was actually the first one to see him right? Or was it just having another dig at clumsy Peter who could walk on water but couldnt run very fast...?
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#192
Dec 15, 2018
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#192
I have done water walking, you need to wear a special belt so you can stay upright.
 
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