wishing for death

[CharliRenee]

I can't even afford my basic health care needs. Much less "luxury stuff" like counseling. So no I haven't ever spoken to a counselor not since i was 6.

Pastor or his wife?

 

[Dooms]

I remember God saying something similar to me when I glorified martyrdom.
He said "Dying for me is not hard. Living for me is." But I just don't want to anymore. I don't care if anyone knows or remembers me anymore. I just want to be gone.

You are blessed to have this burden upon you. In this broken world it is easy to coast to it's voice, but some of us (myself included) have been chosen to endure from birth and until the Lord calls us home. It is a Holy calling.

 

[BlessedByGod]

It is i my heart to ask you to PM me. I will keep an eye out for it.

 

[EleventhHour]

You are blessed to have this burden upon you. In this broken world it is easy to coast to it's voice, but some of us (myself included) have been chosen to endure from birth and until the Lord calls us home. It is a Holy calling.

I really do not think so at all.

8 Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy,
9 for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

1 Peter 1 8-9

 

[BrotherMike]

When things are not going so well, I raise my hands and ask God to hold me tight. I bask in His powerful, passionate, personal love for us. He will give us peace if we allow Him to. I urge you to go to our Fathers loving hands. He has pull me out of a rut so deep, I know He can for you too. Don’t lose hope and have Faith. Love ya with the love of the Lord sister!

 

[laughingheart]

do others ever wish for death?
I can't think of anything else. I just wish God would end my misery. I wish he hadn't made me. I hate every minute I have to keep going and i am sick and tired of having to pretend that God has some purpose for me.

I wish some person who died of this stupid virus could have their life back in exchange for mine. I just don't want to go on.

Sometimes my wishes are not so much for death, but a different version of life. Hugs.

 

[BrotherMike]

Sometimes my wishes are not so much for death, but a different version of life. Hugs.

I agree with you there for my life as well, but I cling onto the hope of Gods promises for us. We can’t change the past, only learn from it and move forward with hope and joy from God. It brings me so much peace that I feel like dancing in His presence.

 

[Heart_Melody]

"
As the deer [b]pants for the water brooks,
So pants my soul for You, O God.
2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When shall I come and [c]appear before God?
3 My tears have been my food day and night,
While they continually say to me,
“Where is your God?”
4 When I remember these things,
I pour out my soul within me.
For I used to go with the multitude;
I went with them to the house of God,
With the voice of joy and praise,
With a multitude that kept a pilgrim feast.
5 Why are you [d]cast down, O my soul?
And why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him
[e]For the help of His countenance.
6 [f]O my God, my soul is cast down within me;
Therefore I will remember You from the land of the Jordan,
And from the heights of Hermon,
From [g]the Hill Mizar.
7 Deep calls unto deep at the noise of Your waterfalls;
All Your waves and billows have gone over me.
8 The Lord will command His lovingkindness in the daytime,
And in the night His song shall be with me—
A prayer to the God of my life.
9 I will say to God my Rock,
“Why have You forgotten me?
Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?”
10 As with a [h]breaking of my bones,
My enemies [i]reproach me,
While they say to me all day long,
“Where is your God?”
11 Why are you cast down, O my soul?
And why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God;
For I shall yet praise Him,
The [j]help of my countenance and my God"

- Psalm 42 NKJV

Heart_Melody, God will never leave you or forsake you.

Also consider the account of the woman with the 12-year issue of blood:

"
5 Now a certain woman had a flow of blood for twelve years, 26 and had suffered many things from many physicians. She had spent all that she had and was no better, but rather grew worse. 27 When she heard about Jesus, she came behind Him in the crowd and touched His garment. 28 For she said, “If only I may touch His clothes, I shall be made well.”
29 Immediately the fountain of her blood was dried up, and she felt in her body that she was healed of the [a]affliction. 30 And Jesus, immediately knowing in Himself that power had gone out of Him, turned around in the crowd and said, “Who touched My clothes?”
31 But His disciples said to Him, “You see the multitude thronging You, and You say, ‘Who touched Me?’ ”
32 And He looked around to see her who had done this thing. 33 But the woman, fearing and trembling, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell down before Him and told Him the whole truth. 34 And He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace, and be healed of your affliction.”

- Mark 5:25-34 NKJV

I don't know what afflictions you are dealing with, but just meditate on the fact that this woman's faith is what made her well, according to Jesus.

Hugs to you, sister!

I've begged god to heal me over and over and he ignores me - like always.
So I have decided to not go to the doctors anymore. If he don't heal me I assume I am done. Like I have wanted to be done.
And then we can all go on.

And if he is just sitting there watching misery unfold, what kind of a sick person is he really. He has the power to help people then why doesn't he. I am tired of pretending the bible makes any kind of sense and all those stupid scriptures that say "Suffering produces endurance" bla bla bla. I don't want to hear it anymore. I want to see God move and if he doesn't want to then that says enough about who he is. All I ever do is suffer but pretend I am not. What a load of rubbish. I am sorry but listen to yourself.

 

[Heart_Melody]

Sometimes my wishes are not so much for death, but a different version of life. Hugs.

at least one person is honest

 

[Heart_Melody]

You are blessed to have this burden upon you. In this broken world it is easy to coast to it's voice, but some of us (myself included) have been chosen to endure from birth and until the Lord calls us home. It is a Holy calling.

What? What a bunch of rubbish.
I get you have to tell yourself that to make it. Great and so have I. OH THOSE WHO SUFFER MUCH HAVE A BIG CALLING.
No. That's stupid. Who would say such a thing. I am over making excuses for it all. Just look at reality. And if suffering is all there is then what is the point. Nothing makes sense in that book anymore. It's all such a bunch of nonsense. If God loves us and lets his "children" go through what they are experiencing - He would loose custody of us all. And that is the truth.

 

[Heart_Melody]

Pastor or his wife?

that's a good one. I think I reached out to him yesterday and he was like "Well I'll get back with ya" just to send me some link to his "online service". wow gee thanks.

 

[Heart_Melody]

Either way - I wish I could just delete this thread but I don't seem to be able to. I am unfollowing it. I am done talking about it all. Thanks to all you ppl.

 

[BrotherMike]

I've begged god to heal me over and over and he ignores me - like always.
So I have decided to not go to the doctors anymore. If he don't heal me I assume I am done. Like I have wanted to be done.
And then we can all go on.

And if he is just sitting there watching misery unfold, what kind of a sick person is he really. He has the power to help people then why doesn't he. I am tired of pretending the bible makes any kind of sense and all those stupid scriptures that say "Suffering produces endurance" bla bla bla. I don't want to hear it anymore. I want to see God move and if he doesn't want to then that says enough about who he is. All I ever do is suffer but pretend I am not. What a load of rubbish. I am sorry but listen to yourself.

God does not ignore, He always listens. We can pray and request all we want but His timing might not be the same as our timing. We should never question His power or because He never answered our prayer He is a sick person. My mom died of cancer 20 years ago. I don’t ever blame Him for taking my best friend away. Sometimes the questions are and will never be answered, but I trust and have faith He is in control. Keep on praying and worship Him. He can perform miracles, He has on me.

 

[laughingheart]

God does not ignore, He always listens. We can pray and request all we want but His timing might not be the same as our timing. We should never question His power or because He never answered our prayer He is a sick person. My mom died of cancer 20 years ago. I don’t ever blame Him for taking my best friend away. Sometimes the questions are and will never be answered, but I trust and have faith He is in control. Keep on praying and worship Him. He can perform miracles, He has on me.

I am sorry for your loss Mike. Twenty years or two, it is still a sorrow.

 

[BrotherMike]

I am sorry for your loss Mike. Twenty years or two, it is still a sorrow.

Thanks... Mother’s Day makes me sad but that would be selfish of me. I am thankful God gave me a mom who cared enough to guide me in the straight and narrow. I didn’t understand why she was so strict but it all makes sense now. It was all done out of love.

Not to take away melody’s post... my most concern for her is to not question God but to embrace who He is. That miracle that was performed was a healing miracle that doctors jaw was dropped. It happened right after I was baptized.

Don’t underestimate Gods power and love. He can perform miracles, I’m a living example. Have faith and trust Melody. I know you’re hurting and I understand but believe me Jesus loves you so much He died for you. No greater love than that. I’ll be praying for you Melody.

 

[CozHElivesIcanface2morrow]

Hi! sis I don't really know what's the reason why you feel that way...but I believe you have your own reason for thinking that way...

I feel the same way too sometimes, when the things don't go my way ...which happens all the time...it makes me feel like my life is hopeless....

My life is 95% struggles (failures and frustrations) and the 5 % is the air that I breath its been like this way since I was a kid ..but that 5% is all I need to keep me going till Jesus brings me home.... It is not fun to experience so much frustrations in this life...but I believe our purpose is far greater than anything here on earth... We are here because God put us here He hasn't forgotten us ,we're always on God's mind

When things get harder some days Who am I to complain ? Not really the truth I complained a lot and sometimes I still do...sometimes I tell God you are God if you want you can take away all of this but He lets me endure more but as you can see I am still here...not because things get better but because I get stronger...

In the midst of my despair I found a good place to hide my tears....in the Lord


Life is too short we all definitely will go there and be with the Lord one day in His time...

I know it is hard when all seems dark when all our plans fall apart when things don't get better no matter how hard we try ...but hang in there sis continue to trust in the Lord. This is the time when you need to hold tight to God. He hasn't forgotten you...you are always on HIS mind...


God bless you ❤

 

[NotmebutHim]

 

[Lanolin]

Jesus...
Trade your sorrows Trade your pain
Lord please heal Melody and let her sing praises to you.

when I was sick and tired you visited me....and it was YOU it was nobody else who came. I know when I saw the vision of you dying on the cross your suffering was for me Lord. and that you rose again.

 

[Craigb513]

Ik life is hard sometimes but never wish for death god has a plan for you and yoi will suceed at it . I will pray for you

 

[Glorybell]

Hi Heart_Melody! You are not alone. A lot of people are caring about you. Don't know what is causing you such misery but it is real to make you feel this way. There are a lot of people that are suffering in this world and if you could see their pain you would try to help them and in helping them you will be helping yourself. When you can take the take the focus off yourself and try to help someone who needs your help you will find some satisfaction. Life may seem painful right now pray for something can do for others. Someone needs your help. If you are young and healthy then you are blessed and can be a blessing. You are a blessing by reaching out and letting us touch your life. You need someone to touch your life right now to let you know that God loves you and there are others out there willing to befriend and help you through this rough period of your life. At the the end of the dark tunnel there is light. Just think of what Jesus went through in his life on earth. He never gave up but kept on going even when some people hated him, he said, "Father forgive them because they don't know what they are doing." It was love that carried him through. Try loving yourself for the person you really are deep inside and find the love of God in your heart. You need to hear, "Love you Melody." "In my heart there rings a Melody, a Melody of love."