How to trust?
- Thread starter BlackLily
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Ever gone to someone's house and sat down? If so you trusted. You trusted that person did nothing to the chair to cause you harm. You trusted that the people who built it did a good job and the chair would support you.
Ever eat out? Buy groceries? Use appliances? You trust all the time. So you do know how.
But if you feel you can't trust people in other ways then people need to know why you believe you can't trust.
Or do you mean trust God?
Making questions clear and precise will make things much easier for yourself and everyone involved. As well as make answers more catered to your specific problem. As of right now your question is so vague and broad it could go in 1000 directions.
Welcome to CC, BlackLily. 
I agree with Sub... without a bit more context, I'd be guessing and making assumptions (likely incorrect) in any response. Perhaps you could provide some background and specifics?
I agree with Sub... without a bit more context, I'd be guessing and making assumptions (likely incorrect) in any response. Perhaps you could provide some background and specifics?
Well, trust usually grows out of a pattern of consistency. I expect there are some things you do trust and don't even think about. I bet you trust the lights to turn on and you not get electrocuted when you flip the light switch, you trust the car won't explode when you start it, and the chair won't collapse when you sit on it.
People are a whole lot more difficult when it comes to trust because they have their own independent wants and goals that they're working towards at the same time. Best advice I'd have when it comes to people is let them start earning and building trust in very low stakes situations (eg person is going to a vending machine and you give them a dollar to buy and bring you back something; they might run off with your dollar, but you'll be ok if they do). Paying attention to how people act and if they follow through with what they say should give you a pretty good indication of who is trustworthy or not. And there's absolutely no reason or requirement to trust an untrustworthy person.
People are a whole lot more difficult when it comes to trust because they have their own independent wants and goals that they're working towards at the same time. Best advice I'd have when it comes to people is let them start earning and building trust in very low stakes situations (eg person is going to a vending machine and you give them a dollar to buy and bring you back something; they might run off with your dollar, but you'll be ok if they do). Paying attention to how people act and if they follow through with what they say should give you a pretty good indication of who is trustworthy or not. And there's absolutely no reason or requirement to trust an untrustworthy person.
Trust begins at home. I believe in order to trust anyone, we must be able to trust that we ourselves can be trustworthy. For me, a personal relationship with God can help in this arena.
We all let others and ourselves down in life. Hopefully though, again with His help, we grow into ppl that others and ourselves can depend on.
Trust is a fragile thing and should be handled with great care.
So first, make sure we ourselves are being honest and sincere and then...
Solidifying trust with others take time and experience. We can not know who we are dealing with on first or second impression. Well sometimes, we can tell if someone is not to be trusted right away. However, knowing with certainty if someone can be trusted takes time. I think that is why He calls us to be wise as a serpent, but gentle as a dove.
Trust is such a precious gift. It makes sense to me that it is something we plant and nourish all the days of our lives.
Human error versus deliberate harm are very different. I think time makes these also very clear. I have ppl in my life that I know will never deliberately hurt me, NEVER. I do know that they might have a bad day or I may be feeling sensitive and I might get hurt. This doesn't mean that I can not trust them. In fact, those times and working through them has helped to solidify our trust. Iron to iron....
Sorry...lol. Clearly you can trust, I will go on and on...lol.
In short learning to trust starts with you and then takes time to build with others.
We all let others and ourselves down in life. Hopefully though, again with His help, we grow into ppl that others and ourselves can depend on.
Trust is a fragile thing and should be handled with great care.
So first, make sure we ourselves are being honest and sincere and then...
Solidifying trust with others take time and experience. We can not know who we are dealing with on first or second impression. Well sometimes, we can tell if someone is not to be trusted right away. However, knowing with certainty if someone can be trusted takes time. I think that is why He calls us to be wise as a serpent, but gentle as a dove.
Trust is such a precious gift. It makes sense to me that it is something we plant and nourish all the days of our lives.
Human error versus deliberate harm are very different. I think time makes these also very clear. I have ppl in my life that I know will never deliberately hurt me, NEVER. I do know that they might have a bad day or I may be feeling sensitive and I might get hurt. This doesn't mean that I can not trust them. In fact, those times and working through them has helped to solidify our trust. Iron to iron....
Sorry...lol. Clearly you can trust, I will go on and on...lol.
In short learning to trust starts with you and then takes time to build with others.
By the way, BlackLily (pretty name), welcome to CC. Glad you decided to join us.
God Bless..
God Bless..
Thank you so muchBy the way, BlackLily (pretty name), welcome to CC. Glad you decided to join us.
God Bless..
Oh, i see... I thought as it was a singles forum so that was clear what kind of trust I was talking about (please forgive my english).
First off all, Hello and thanks for posting your statement
. I see you have been a member for longer than I, but show still as a new member, so welcome back then sounds like might be in order, so if that's the case, welcome back!Ok. Without context known, I will say this, hopefully it will help. If it is God you don't trust, go to him and be honest, as you didn't by what you wrote here. He would already know, so would not surprise him. Ask him to open your heart to trust him. To Bless you to truly see the things he does daily for you. If it is to trust others, well you can tall to him about that too. Ask him to help you heal. Ask for his Peace and Love to come down about you and that he would hold you close. To bring trust worthy people into your life, that you may learn and see what it looks like. And to not push away those same worthy people through the hurt you have indured.
We all have choices daily. Sometimes we tend to hold onto those things, to try and protect ourselves. But, we need to rely on God and to see there is both kind of people.
I truly hope God Blesses you to rely on his Love most of all and that this helps you to steer your boat back to him in this. There is much less wind resistance when your ship is pointed in the direction of the most High and Loving Father ABBA that loves you (and us all) more then you could possibly know.
Feel free to reach out to chat anytime, get back to you as soon as I can
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Welcome to CC, BlackLily.
I agree with Sub... without a bit more context, I'd be guessing and making assumptions (likely incorrect) in any response. Perhaps you could provide some background and specifics?
I was referring to trusting a relationship ... I took a lifetime to open my heart and when I did, the experience was bad ... but I have already regretted writing this topic
I was referring to trusting a relationship ... I took a lifetime to open my heart and when I did, the experience was bad ... but I have already regretted writing this topic
It's ok, BlackLily, a lot of us have been and are going through the same issues.
You're doing fine, especially considering that English isn't your first language as referred to in Post #8.
English is my only language and I have enough problems with that!
As you can see, there are many people here who can relate and want to help, so please keep talking to us.
Beautiful name and beautiful picture, by the way.
one verse really comes to mind, body and spirit... that has more than helped me over the years...
5 Trust in the Lord
with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths(I) straight.
Proverbs 3: 5-6
5 Trust in the Lord
with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths(I) straight.
Proverbs 3: 5-6
very wise words ... thank you for your affection and attention. God bless you sis.
happy to hear cr, has blessed you... she has a very special gift from God as a True Vessel in the Living Word and Edification!
It's ok, BlackLily, a lot of us have been and are going through the same issues.
You're doing fine, especially considering that English isn't your first language as referred to in Post #8.
English is my only language and I have enough problems with that!
As you can see, there are many people here who can relate and want to help, so please keep talking to us.
Beautiful name and beautiful picture, by the way.
Thank you so much
It only becomes an issue if you NEED to trust.I was referring to trusting a relationship ... I took a lifetime to open my heart and when I did, the experience was bad ... but I have already regretted writing this topic
Do you feel you still NEED a relationship or are you fine being single? Some people are perfectly okay with never having a spouse. If you are one of those, it doesn't really matter if you can't bring yourself to trust somebody.
Now if you feel like you just have to find a man, but you can't bring yourself to trust any guys... then you might have a problem.
Oh yeah, and welcome to the forum. Grab some snacks and a soda from the counter and pull up a chair.
Thanks. Please don't regret starting the thread; it's a really good topic for discussion, even if we're not discussing your particular situation.I was referring to trusting a relationship ... I took a lifetime to open my heart and when I did, the experience was bad ... but I have already regretted writing this topic
Most of us have been hurt in relationships. Trust is a complicated issue and despite the wishes of others at times, we don't simply "trust completely" or "not trust at all". Rather, it's a continuum. Our expectations of others should consider this.