Okay, for some context:
I am currently dating and talking to a woman for nearly the past month, before that little snip bits through private messages but nothing date related. I actually took her out on our first date nearly a month ago. She enjoyed because the next day she messaged me on how good of a time it was and would like to do it again. Second date was a week later and had even more fun. The third date, which was just recently, was probably our most fun and best one. Now we're talking about going out again, but my parents had ask me an important question: is she a Christian?
To be honest, we haven't got that far, but I would ALMOST want to say yes. However, to provide some background on her:
She has had bad relationship experiences with men, both within the family and with others outside. She has four older brothers and has been engaged before. The brothers were typically trouble-makers (but not lawbreakers) while the guys she dated (and even engaged to) were awful to her pets and took advantage of her in general (financials mainly). Her father, who is still around, had molested her at a young age and had been abusive to the family. Her mother is a practicing Catholic but never left the man. Earlier this year, one of her older brothers committed suicide because he got caught molesting HIS OWN daughters. The woman I'm seeing actually had the suicide note that was texted to her by the brother a month before he died. After he passed, she went into a dark period of her life and was at her lowest point. She's now pass that point, but she feels somewhat responsible for her brother's death, even though she told her parents, siblings, in-laws, and the brother himself. Just recently, she had shown me something that, more or less, confirms that her father isn't a Christian.
Given all that information, she STILL loves her dad and brother, but hates what they did. Now, she's not necessarily sinless either, but she has said that she wasn't proud nor happy with the things she's done. Granted, I think a lot of that might have been brought on by the family and the bad things that happened in her life while living in a big city. I believe in forgiveness and believe people need to be forgiven, if they ask for it. For the most part, though, she's a good person that's struggling to figure out where she belongs in the world. At least, that's my takeaway.
Now, how does this all fit into what my parents asked? Our family has had bad experiences with women who had been (and currently are) married into our family who are NOT Christians and had caused problems. My parents, though, when they first met were not Christians and did things they were not suppose to do (and they were pretty bad), some involving engagements at the time. To be fair, they did get that all resolved eventually, but still caused problems within the families. Even then, their question is an honest one.
I do like this woman, and the most recent date she asked me if I was looking for a relationship. I said 'probably' in a very curious way because I didn't know where she was going with it. But then she brought up that she wasn't sure if she was relationship material because of what happened to her brother and that dark time for her. I simply explained that it wasn't her fault and that everyone goes through low points in their lives. She then said that she enjoyed being with me. I honestly thought she was going to cry because it was almost as if no one had ever said this before to her. So I do want to have something going with her.
We're not officially a couple, per se, but we're definitely seeing each other. However, we still need to get into faith. I know how my parents can be with the women us boys have dated, and they were picked by us and not our parents. A lot of times they shoot from the hip with their questions and explanations without really thinking about it with these women (and it's frustrating). So I figured before I actually have her meet them (although she's met my dad before), I want to talk about it with her first and let her know where I stand. The question I have is how do I approach this? Also, if she is a Christian, maybe struggling with her faith, or the worst case she isn't (but is willing to learn), how slow should I take things with her? I'm pretty sure she isn't an atheist based on some things she told me about, but at the same time, if she truly does enjoy being with me, she would accept, and maybe even embrace, what I believe. She believes me to be a good person (which I like to think that I am, but I'll let others judge for themselves), so this could be an opportunity for her (and myself) to grow in faith. But I would like to hear opinions on this matter. I figured, though, we'll still go out and have a good time together, for the time being. Thanks for putting up with this novel of a post!
I am currently dating and talking to a woman for nearly the past month, before that little snip bits through private messages but nothing date related. I actually took her out on our first date nearly a month ago. She enjoyed because the next day she messaged me on how good of a time it was and would like to do it again. Second date was a week later and had even more fun. The third date, which was just recently, was probably our most fun and best one. Now we're talking about going out again, but my parents had ask me an important question: is she a Christian?
To be honest, we haven't got that far, but I would ALMOST want to say yes. However, to provide some background on her:
She has had bad relationship experiences with men, both within the family and with others outside. She has four older brothers and has been engaged before. The brothers were typically trouble-makers (but not lawbreakers) while the guys she dated (and even engaged to) were awful to her pets and took advantage of her in general (financials mainly). Her father, who is still around, had molested her at a young age and had been abusive to the family. Her mother is a practicing Catholic but never left the man. Earlier this year, one of her older brothers committed suicide because he got caught molesting HIS OWN daughters. The woman I'm seeing actually had the suicide note that was texted to her by the brother a month before he died. After he passed, she went into a dark period of her life and was at her lowest point. She's now pass that point, but she feels somewhat responsible for her brother's death, even though she told her parents, siblings, in-laws, and the brother himself. Just recently, she had shown me something that, more or less, confirms that her father isn't a Christian.
Given all that information, she STILL loves her dad and brother, but hates what they did. Now, she's not necessarily sinless either, but she has said that she wasn't proud nor happy with the things she's done. Granted, I think a lot of that might have been brought on by the family and the bad things that happened in her life while living in a big city. I believe in forgiveness and believe people need to be forgiven, if they ask for it. For the most part, though, she's a good person that's struggling to figure out where she belongs in the world. At least, that's my takeaway.
Now, how does this all fit into what my parents asked? Our family has had bad experiences with women who had been (and currently are) married into our family who are NOT Christians and had caused problems. My parents, though, when they first met were not Christians and did things they were not suppose to do (and they were pretty bad), some involving engagements at the time. To be fair, they did get that all resolved eventually, but still caused problems within the families. Even then, their question is an honest one.
I do like this woman, and the most recent date she asked me if I was looking for a relationship. I said 'probably' in a very curious way because I didn't know where she was going with it. But then she brought up that she wasn't sure if she was relationship material because of what happened to her brother and that dark time for her. I simply explained that it wasn't her fault and that everyone goes through low points in their lives. She then said that she enjoyed being with me. I honestly thought she was going to cry because it was almost as if no one had ever said this before to her. So I do want to have something going with her.
We're not officially a couple, per se, but we're definitely seeing each other. However, we still need to get into faith. I know how my parents can be with the women us boys have dated, and they were picked by us and not our parents. A lot of times they shoot from the hip with their questions and explanations without really thinking about it with these women (and it's frustrating). So I figured before I actually have her meet them (although she's met my dad before), I want to talk about it with her first and let her know where I stand. The question I have is how do I approach this? Also, if she is a Christian, maybe struggling with her faith, or the worst case she isn't (but is willing to learn), how slow should I take things with her? I'm pretty sure she isn't an atheist based on some things she told me about, but at the same time, if she truly does enjoy being with me, she would accept, and maybe even embrace, what I believe. She believes me to be a good person (which I like to think that I am, but I'll let others judge for themselves), so this could be an opportunity for her (and myself) to grow in faith. But I would like to hear opinions on this matter. I figured, though, we'll still go out and have a good time together, for the time being. Thanks for putting up with this novel of a post!
-
1
-
1
-
1
- Show all
