Loneliness

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Encouragement

Well-known member
Aug 25, 2020
1,487
1,305
113
#1
Recently I felt lonely during the lockdown due to a lack of social interaction with others and recently I found myself feeling lonely sometimes not because I am single and not due to the lockdown now.This is just more to do with perhaps not having enough meaning full friendships that go beyond the superficial "how are you kinda thing".
I am naturally an encouraging type if person and since being a Christian God has somehow annointed this and over the years people have opened up about all kinda things to me wiithout me even doing anything.God has made it clear to be wise as some people can be insincere and value you for what they gain from you and no more.
Yet there aren't many that I have a deeper connection with and I gues at times I wish I had that.What have your experiences been in regards to loneliness (not about not having a partner)..coz you can be married,or be in a room full people and STILL feel lonely.
Be nice to here your experiences ect and how you cope.😊😊👌
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,243
16,252
113
69
Tennessee
#2
When I was single I would start feeling lonely if I saw an obvious happy couple while I seemed to be alone in the world. I really only felt lonely if I dwelled on it. I got through it by immersing myself in my work. In the end that just wasn't enough. I felt like I was living a ground hog day (movie) life. Each day was the same old story. Nothing really changed except each year I was another year older.

What I finally did was pray about it, prayed for God to search and find the one of my heart's desire. The search took 3 years but well worth the wait. The story didn't end well though because the woman I married was not in the best of health but I knew that from the start. God asked me if I was willing to take care of her, but if I said "yes" there was no going back. It was a very hard marriage but I had love in my heart to give to her and she had love in her heart to give to me. Married in 2002 and a widower in 2014.

"...alone again, naturally".
 
Sep 17, 2020
37
20
8
#3
Recently I felt lonely during the lockdown due to a lack of social interaction with others and recently I found myself feeling lonely sometimes not because I am single and not due to the lockdown now.This is just more to do with perhaps not having enough meaning full friendships that go beyond the superficial "how are you kinda thing".
I am naturally an encouraging type if person and since being a Christian God has somehow annointed this and over the years people have opened up about all kinda things to me wiithout me even doing anything.God has made it clear to be wise as some people can be insincere and value you for what they gain from you and no more.
Yet there aren't many that I have a deeper connection with and I gues at times I wish I had that.What have your experiences been in regards to loneliness (not about not having a partner)..coz you can be married,or be in a room full people and STILL feel lonely.
Be nice to here your experiences ect and how you cope.😊😊👌
I've experienced loneliness since I lost my left leg in an emergency amputation in 2017. My life changed instantly! I lost everything, and had to move in with my daughter and her family. I found this site today and is more of what i've been looking for rather than a dating site. I want to be able to make friends but not expecting any more than that. I dont care if you are male or female. It's no fun staring at the four walls of your room 24 hours a day for 3 years. It took 16 months to get my prosthetic leg and i still dont have good balance. Im hoping to drive again when i can afford a vehicle. I'm new on here and wanted to say hello to whomever is on here. Im Don in Texas
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,243
16,252
113
69
Tennessee
#4
I've experienced loneliness since I lost my left leg in an emergency amputation in 2017. My life changed instantly! I lost everything, and had to move in with my daughter and her family. I found this site today and is more of what i've been looking for rather than a dating site. I want to be able to make friends but not expecting any more than that. I dont care if you are male or female. It's no fun staring at the four walls of your room 24 hours a day for 3 years. It took 16 months to get my prosthetic leg and i still dont have good balance. Im hoping to drive again when i can afford a vehicle. I'm new on here and wanted to say hello to whomever is on here. Im Don in Texas
Hello Don. I'm Jerry in Florida. I pray for God to be with you during this hard trial and to aid a return to a good measure of normalcy in you life. Glad to have you join our family. Welcome to CC.
 

Encouragement

Well-known member
Aug 25, 2020
1,487
1,305
113
#5
I've experienced loneliness since I lost my left leg in an emergency amputation in 2017. My life changed instantly! I lost everything, and had to move in with my daughter and her family. I found this site today and is more of what i've been looking for rather than a dating site. I want to be able to make friends but not expecting any more than that. I dont care if you are male or female. It's no fun staring at the four walls of your room 24 hours a day for 3 years. It took 16 months to get my prosthetic leg and i still dont have good balance. Im hoping to drive again when i can afford a vehicle. I'm new on here and wanted to say hello to whomever is on here. Im Don in Texas
Hi Don..I hues it has been kinda perfectly timed that I put this out ans you just happened to see it.😊Firstly sorry to hear that you had lost your leg buddy and I am sure it must of been a huge life changing experience for you in so many different ways.So nice to meet you Don.I am michael from London England and if you just look at the various threads there is one where new members can introduce themselves and other members here will welcome you...make you feel at home.. 👌👌
You had to wait such a while for your prosthetic leg to arrive and its gonna take a while to get use to...so take your time..with God help you will get there and it will make a considerable difference to your life in so may ways.Well these lots if interaction here to keep you busy plus you can post things like how I did this one about loneliness ag any time and yes it will definitely be an uplift.
The loneliness you mentioned was it due to you being unable to do the things you did before the amputation like work,hang out with friends ect ect?
 

Encouragement

Well-known member
Aug 25, 2020
1,487
1,305
113
#6
When I was single I would start feeling lonely if I saw an obvious happy couple while I seemed to be alone in the world. I really only felt lonely if I dwelled on it. I got through it by immersing myself in my work. In the end that just wasn't enough. I felt like I was living a ground hog day (movie) life. Each day was the same old story. Nothing really changed except each year I was another year older.

What I finally did was pray about it, prayed for God to search and find the one of my heart's desire. The search took 3 years but well worth the wait. The story didn't end well though because the woman I married was not in the best of health but I knew that from the start. God asked me if I was willing to take care of her, but if I said "yes" there was no going back. It was a very hard marriage but I had love in my heart to give to her and she had love in her heart to give to me. Married in 2002 and a widower in 2014.

"...alone again, naturally".
Love this testimony bro.Your wife who passed away got to experience the blessing of being cared for and loved by a husband which I am sure wasn't easy at times.So many women never get to experience the love of a caring man in their lives....only the cruelty from bad evil hearted guys.😔
Yes we do at times find ways to cope with loneliness such as keeping busy and focus on the positive things in our lives and yes you certainly felt a piece of the puzzle was missing for you....and praise God it did come.
12 years of marriage and now you are alone again..so would be seeking God to remarry or just ask God to fill your life with things to eliminate those feelings and naturally remove those lonely feelings?
 

Encouragement

Well-known member
Aug 25, 2020
1,487
1,305
113
#7
Love this testimony bro.Your wife who passed away got to experience the blessing of being cared for and loved by a husband which I am sure wasn't easy at times.So many women never get to experience the love of a caring man in their lives....only the cruelty from bad evil hearted guys.😔
Yes we do at times find ways to cope with loneliness such as keeping busy and focus on the positive things in our lives and yes you certainly felt a piece of the puzzle was missing for you....and praise God it did come.
12 years of marriage and now you are alone again..so would be seeking God to remarry or just ask God to fill your life with things to eliminate those feelings and naturally remove those lonely feelings?
You did remarry again.me bad..👌
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,243
16,252
113
69
Tennessee
#8
Love this testimony bro.Your wife who passed away got to experience the blessing of being cared for and loved by a husband which I am sure wasn't easy at times.So many women never get to experience the love of a caring man in their lives....only the cruelty from bad evil hearted guys.😔
Yes we do at times find ways to cope with loneliness such as keeping busy and focus on the positive things in our lives and yes you certainly felt a piece of the puzzle was missing for you....and praise God it did come.
12 years of marriage and now you are alone again..so would be seeking God to remarry or just ask God to fill your life with things to eliminate those feelings and naturally remove those lonely feelings?
No, not alone. God provided me with a wonderful woman, in good health that became my wife. I met her on this site as she is also a member. This will in fact, be my last marriage and it is until death do we part.

When I first joined this site I was in horrible shape. During the last 8 years of marriage to my late second wife we lived in her home state so she could be close to her elderly parents. I won't go into detail because this is available in other threads over many posts. In the end, her parents died, she died, I lost everything I own due to being evicted because of the antics of her son, car broke down, lost my two dogs, and resigned my job because I was not going to stay alone and isolated in Maine any longer. The day after her funeral service I got on a bus to Orlando with just a duffle bag of clothes and a broken heart.

When my current wife first came in contact with me on CC I was a total wreck. Yeah, I was probably covered with raised red flags but she saw through that and just saw a lonely hurt broken man. There is a night and day of positive difference between 2014 and 2020 for me. This by the grace of God.

You stated that you could be alone even though you were married. Well, that struck a chord with me as I spent 8 years in Maine separated from my family in Orlando, and isolated from the life that I once had. I had to watch my late wife die by degrees each day and crying because of the pain until the day I ordered the doctor to remove the respirator that was keeping her alive during her last day of life. The last words my late wife said, with tears in her eyes, was that she just wanted be with Jesus now. Two weeks later I honored her last request.
 

Encouragement

Well-known member
Aug 25, 2020
1,487
1,305
113
#9
No, not alone. God provided me with a wonderful woman, in good health that became my wife. I met her on this site as she is also a member. This will in fact, be my last marriage and it is until death do we part.

When I first joined this site I was in horrible shape. During the last 8 years of marriage to my late second wife we lived in her home state so she could be close to her elderly parents. I won't go into detail because this is available in other threads over many posts. In the end, her parents died, she died, I lost everything I own due to being evicted because of the antics of her son, car broke down, lost my two dogs, and resigned my job because I was not going to stay alone and isolated in Maine any longer. The day after her funeral service I got on a bus to Orlando with just a duffle bag of clothes and a broken heart.

When my current wife first came in contact with me on CC I was a total wreck. Yeah, I was probably covered with raised red flags but she saw through that and just saw a lonely hurt broken man. There is a night and day of positive difference between 2014 and 2020 for me. This by the grace of God.

You stated that you could be alone even though you were married. Well, that struck a chord with me as I spent 8 years in Maine separated from my family in Orlando, and isolated from the life that I once had. I had to watch my late wife die by degrees each day and crying because of the pain until the day I ordered the doctor to remove the respirator that was keeping her alive during her last day of life. The last words my late wife said, with tears in her eyes, was that she just wanted be with Jesus now. Two weeks later I honored her last request.
Your testimony is like having hot bowl of soup on a cold day..satisfying although to be taken in slowly.Yer I remember you mentioning being married again and the fact that she ea remember on her...so just so sweet..Its like God had honoured you coz you were faithful to your 1st wife...😊😊
I think its awesome that she saw the real you at the time which is a beautiful thing coz your vulnerabilities and wounds are exposed before her and you didnt need to be something you were not.
You have gone through some dark times and praise God have come through and you shine...and i give God thanks that you can look back and speak about thing in the past tense now.Sad account you gave of your 1st wife deterioration and how she passed away...and the fact that you were separated from your family..I always tell people that life isnt always just black and white...there is a whole range of different tones of greys ect inbetween as lifes events have such a vast array of outcomes.
Thanks for sharing bro..👏🏻👏🏻😊
 

Lighthearted

Senior Member
Oct 17, 2016
1,782
841
113
53
#11
I've experienced loneliness since I lost my left leg in an emergency amputation in 2017. My life changed instantly! I lost everything, and had to move in with my daughter and her family. I found this site today and is more of what i've been looking for rather than a dating site. I want to be able to make friends but not expecting any more than that. I dont care if you are male or female. It's no fun staring at the four walls of your room 24 hours a day for 3 years. It took 16 months to get my prosthetic leg and i still dont have good balance. Im hoping to drive again when i can afford a vehicle. I'm new on here and wanted to say hello to whomever is on here. Im Don in Texas
Hang in there Don. I'm walking again after severe nerve damage after my daughter was born 7 years ago! I stared at 4 walls for 3 years...another 4 walls for 2 more. I found CC about 2 years into it...this was my connection to others and there are wonderful people here. Looking back, I felt alone because I allowed the devil a foothold with my grief and let him convince me I had nothing left. Boy was I wrong. The Lord is always there even when we don't realize it... He was always there to lift me up and so were the folks here.
Welcome to CC!
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
13,605
7,643
113
#12
We can get where we would rather be with the Lord in the spirit than with people.
 
Feb 28, 2016
11,311
2,972
113
#13
our journey is all about 'leaving' our 'old-worldly' connections 'behind' us and totally seeking
our Holy Father's new-connection to ourselves with HIM in all ways -
new life - new journey, knowing and accepting that our Best Friend is filling all of the 'gaps'...
 
Nov 17, 2019
366
201
43
60
New Mexico, USA
#14
Be nice to here your experiences ect and how you cope
What a great post. I want to first respond by saying that I am sorry for what you are going through. Some people need interaction with others as a necessity. I sincerely hope and pray that you can find those interactions soon so you can flourish and be blessed.

As for me, I am at a point in my life where God has so intervened, that my earthly relationships are more of a footnote as well as a blessing. In other words, I put those relationships in the context of God's upper story rather than having them carry too much weight.

Since I am not fully repaired from recent relationship troubles, I am waiting for God to direct me in new relationships. Much to my chagrin, those new relationships are involving a lot of hard work and Christian service. :unsure:

I pray every day that I would be up to the task. :)
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,173
113
#15
A book is a good friend

bibliotherapsts recommend a good memoir or novel to help you through as while reading someone elses story of the trials and tribulations they have gone through (and somehow survived to tell the tale) you have a deeper and more emphatic understanding of someone elses life.

Cos what book has ever just had 3 pages and says Nothing to write here, I'm fine thanks?

one recommendation obviously is the Bible, but millions who have ever felt isolated and lonely have drawn comfort from the Diary of Anne Frank which a young jewish 14 year old girl wrote while hiding in a secret annexe in Holland from the nazis.
 

Encouragement

Well-known member
Aug 25, 2020
1,487
1,305
113
#16
What a great post. I want to first respond by saying that I am sorry for what you are going through. Some people need interaction with others as a necessity. I sincerely hope and pray that you can find those interactions soon so you can flourish and be blessed.

As for me, I am at a point in my life where God has so intervened, that my earthly relationships are more of a footnote as well as a blessing. In other words, I put those relationships in the context of God's upper story rather than having them carry too much weight.

Since I am not fully repaired from recent relationship troubles, I am waiting for God to direct me in new relationships. Much to my chagrin, those new relationships are involving a lot of hard work and Christian service. :unsure:

I pray every day that I would be up to the task. :)
Hi Desertwanderer nice to be hearing from you..Thanks for expression your appreciation of this thread it means a lot.👍👍Yes I guess God made us for relationship of every kind and I have prayed about it recently and though to create this thread coz I know that us humans are basically the same..yes I do miss not have a proper dynamic of interaction as many times it's kinda superficial stuff.
Things take time and having read your comments social struggles and relational issues are bound to happen for us in one way or another and God has his own unique way of bringing us through..Jesus had just a few who were close to relationally and there are many awesome people around who would make great friends and may God open the right doors.Rejection,relationship breakdowns are painful and I went through a lot of that recently..like the enemie was just creating havoc to the point where i didnt know who to trust..Maybe Gods doing a cleansing work to make way for a new beginning.👍👍
We can trust him though..🙏🏻🙏🏻
He loves you too much to leave you where you are...same to me too.😊😊
 
Nov 17, 2019
366
201
43
60
New Mexico, USA
#17
Jesus had just a few who were close to relationally
Yep, and one of those wonderful people was Peter, the guy who denied Him three times! I don't know about you, but I've been denied by lots of people who I thought I could trust, also.

I hope that one day I can develop at least some of the patience, grace, and mercy that Jesus showed to Peter. :)

He loves you too much to leave you where you are...same to me too.😊😊
Amen.
 

Encouragement

Well-known member
Aug 25, 2020
1,487
1,305
113
#18
Yes I have has t

Yep, and one of those wonderful people was Peter, the guy who denied Him three times! I don't know about you, but I've been denied by lots of people who I thought I could trust, also.

I hope that one day I can develop at least some of the patience, grace, and mercy that Jesus showed to Peter. :)



Amen.
Yes there are painful moments unfortunately and jesus most certainly have his fair share..I know how it feels to have those who you trusted turn on you..I have have had it far too many times..😔
We are all as work in progress and over time we WILL bear more christ like fruit in the midst of troublesome situations.God ain't done with us just yet.😊😊
 

Going_Nowhere

Well-known member
Nov 10, 2019
1,709
927
113
#19
I never feel lonely....despite the fact that I don't have any friends. Maybe it's because I've been more or less alone all my life. Maybe that's why it doesn't bother me. I'm used to it....it's all I know.
 

shittim

Senior Member
Dec 16, 2016
13,605
7,643
113
#20
when we spend time with God we can get to where we would rather be with Him than with people, He never lies, He never lets us down, etc.
I feel sorry for those would are stuck in religion and don't have relationship with Him.
best wishes