WWJD???!!! (Who Would Jesus Date?)

[seoulsearch]

Hey Singles,

If Jesus had been out in the Singles Arena (if one of His purposes had been to marry), whom do you think He would have been attracted to as potential candidates for a date? Where do you think He would have gone to meet other singles? And what sorts of activities do you think He would have planned on dates? (Movies? Dinner? Picnics? Walking on water? Parting the Red Sea? Rebuking a few Pharisees?)

The interesting thing to me is... The Bible already answers this question--at least, I think it does--in that it clearly states that the Church is the Bride of Christ. Wow... not just a girlfriend... but an all-out bride!!

And the thing of it is... Whom does Jesus seek out for this kind of relationship? Once again, we have a clear answer--He comes after you and me... Imperfect people with multiple issues, problems, character flaws, and certainly not in any way "compatible" with someone like Him on our own.

The reason I'm asking is because I often hear other singles talking about what they expect in a spouse--and it makes me wonder if the reason why we haven't found them yet is because we are setting the bar so high, NO ONE would ever meet it.

If Jesus accepts us all as we are, why is it then that we, as Christians, are so picky about whom we think we want to date or marry? Why do we think of so many others as "not being good enough", not meeting our standards, or not having the right place in life to be considered "worthy" of dating or marrying someone like us?

If Jesus has such open standards regarding whom He chooses to be part of His Bride, why are our own standards so high, if not nearly impossible? (I'm certainly NOT saying we should just pick anyone... I'm just interested in hearing others' thoughts as to why we're all so specific in what we want in "the one", whereas God isn't picky at all.)

I'm looking forward to hearing your input!

 

[Cheekygrin]

I just want to set the record straight by making it clear that I not only meet the bar, but surpass it too. I am just that awesome.
Thanks, that is all.

 

[djness]

There will not be any marriage in heaven except to Christ anyway, so people should be just happy with being single.
But how could you resist a guy whose eyes say "I will die for you"?

 

[Jullianna]

There will not be any marriage in heaven except to Christ anyway, so people should be just happy with being single.
But how could you resist a guy whose eyes say "I will die for you"?[/quote]

That one is tough to top.


I doubt that He would have done anything differently, especially since He is perfect love personified. I think He would have stayed on the path, reaching out to those who would listen; those with tender hearts or at least seeking real truth; but remembering the entire time who He IS and why He walked here. We should be doing no less.

He has requirements (If you love me, you will obey me; Go and sin no more; etc.). He also knows that there will be those who will reject Him and who will never be watchfully willing to prepare themselves to be His (Matthew 25). Our expectations should be no greater than His.

Awesome thread, m'lady

 

[zeroturbulence]

Jesus would probably be in a band and he'd be the lead singer and girls would pass out whenever he looked at them and when he wanted to date someone he would give them each a test to see which one of them truly has a humble and compassionate heart. None will pass for the test can only be passed by someone without any thought for themselves but only for others. This makes Jesus very sad and he breaks up the band and goes back to his throne at the right hand of God.

 

[seoulsearch]

Well Zero, I guess there's already a show (though I haven't seen it--is it any good?)--"Jesus Christ: Superstar"... I don't know much about it.

I guess I had just been thinking about the fact that to God, our pasts, incomes, jobs, social status, and looks don't matter... And we are all to strive to have a heart that thinks the way God does.

But yet we human beings find these types of things extremely important, especially when choosing significant others... BUT, I DO think we have to make wise discernments--maybe this is something I've been wrestling with myself... Becoming more like God in my thoughts, but balancing what we see as discernment/wise choices vs. judgment and discrimination...

 

[zeroturbulence]

Well Zero, I guess there's already a show (though I haven't seen it--is it any good?)--"Jesus Christ: Superstar"... I don't know much about it.

I guess I had just been thinking about the fact that to God, our pasts, incomes, jobs, social status, and looks don't matter... And we are all to strive to have a heart that thinks the way God does.

But yet we human beings find these types of things extremely important, especially when choosing significant others... BUT, I DO think we have to make wise discernments--maybe this is something I've been wrestling with myself... Becoming more like God in my thoughts, but balancing what we see as discernment/wise choices vs. judgment and discrimination...

Yea this is exactly what I hate about current thinking. In the old days you just hoped to meet a nice girl or a nice man and if you liked each other you started courting and then the guy would ask the girl for her hand in marriage. "Love conquers all" was the motto back then. It meant that no matter how poor you were, how uneducated you were, how many problems you had, it didn't matter because if the two of you were in love, then somehow you'd get through it all and live happily everafter.

Today people screen potential partners with their carefully concocted list of desired traits which would complement their own life and make them feel like they made a "good choice", just like buying a new car or selecting fruit in a supermarket.

 

[zeroturbulence]

continuation of my post...

what if God decides to send an unattractive woman with a heart of gold to the man who refuses to date a woman he's not attracted to?

what if God sends a financially struggling man with a perfect understanding of love to the woman who refuses to date a man who doesn't have a good paying job?

what if God decides to send a short, balding man with a great sense of humor, intellect and compassion to the woman who refuses any man who is not 6' tall and has a full head of hair?

BTW, these questions are rhetorical, not literal.



The answer my friend...is blowing in the wind. The answer is blowing in the wind...

(ok, I just thought that line from the Bob Dylan song sounded good right there hehe)

 

[Jullianna]

Dylan is always appropriate

 

[thimsrebma]

I think some people set really high standards that are unattainable. But on the other hand when I loook my self I see a woman who wants reasonable things but is still single. The problem is there are a lot of people who do not have standards for their own lives and they don't meet the standards for us who want to be equally yoked.

I have a few basic standards that determine wether or not i will even entertain dating a guy.
1. Believe in the One true God
2. Attend service regularly (few times a month)
3. Does not party (drinkin and druggin and fornicatin)
4. Has full time employment or own business

These are the first basic ones for me. And in the past few years I have only met a handful of men that meet these (4 or 5)
Thats the problem there.

 

[zeroturbulence]

Dylan is always appropriate

Right on!

 

[Jullianna]

All kidding aside, Gabe...you've made me think a lot about what you've said here...all day.

 

[grace]

continuation of my post...

what if God decides to send an unattractive woman with a heart of gold to the man who refuses to date a woman he's not attracted to?

what if God sends a financially struggling man with a perfect understanding of love to the woman who refuses to date a man who doesn't have a good paying job?

what if God decides to send a short, balding man with a great sense of humor, intellect and compassion to the woman who refuses any man who is not 6' tall and has a full head of hair?

BTW, these questions are rhetorical, not literal.



The answer my friend...is blowing in the wind. The answer is blowing in the wind...

(ok, I just thought that line from the Bob Dylan song sounded good right there hehe)

There was a thread a LONG time ago about things people wanted or did not want in a relationship etc. (these threads seem to keep cropping up in different forms and fashion over time.

There was a LOT of things on there that were sort of hurtful to some that read it. Such as, one guy litterly said no fat women. He said that fat=lazy. (this one hurt me personally because my best friend used to be 5'11 and 135lbs....then her thyroid quit working and she now is 350lbs. She is one of the BEST people I know.)

Also on this thread....a lot of people said noone with children etc...

After a few days of reading some of the things people were spouting I could not take it anymore and I kinda ranted about how they should not complain about being single if they are so stringent about thier *guidlines* because God very well may have placed numerous people in their path that would have been a wonderful match for them, and they completly wrote them off because they carried an extra 15-25 lbs or their husband/wife abandoned them and they are now careing for children on their own.

I wrote in a recent thread that sometimes we let our circumstances limit us...and therefore we are limiting God.
BUT, we also let the circumstances of others limit them in our lives...therefore also limiting God.

I guess I have this silly image in my head, of someone standing before God one day and they asking Him, "Why ohhh why was I single my WHOLE life????? I thoguht you knew the desires of my heart God!??" And God replying with, "Oh, my child....I do know the desires of your heart, I know them WAY better than you can. I sent numerous people that you could have had a lovely life serving me with...but you rejected them because you did not look for me in them. You looked for yourself in them."

 

[seoulsearch]

The discussion here has been great--thanks to everyone to for their input, and please keep it coming if you have anything to add.

I was in chat a very long time ago in which a few people were talking about this very subject, Grace--the fact that God has probably called several people to be married to so-and-so but either one or both were unwilling to marry or maybe even meet the other person.

However, I do have to agree that I some personal preferences myself that would hurt other people's feelings... But I know there are plenty of other people who have standards I can't meet as well. For example, I've seen things like, "I don't want to marry anyone who isn't white (Caucasian); If you are divorced for any reason, don't bother contacting me; I don't like short women; I only like blondes", etc.

It used to bother me to no end to read these things and I asked God for a lot of help in accepting other people's preferences. Now I just try to say, "Well, God bless 'em, I hope it all works out for them."

And this is because I have my own set of preferences as well that might seem very snobby to some--for instance, I'd never become serious with anyone who did not have a steady history of employment. Now I know the economy is shaky and times are hard and I am NOT knocking anyone who is out there earnestly looking for work. But as I've written before, I was about a year away from earning a Master's in psychology when my life fell apart. Many of you have had this happen--your spouse leaves and leaves you with all the bills as well.

So I quit school to take a full-time job in a grocery store. Everyone is different--for me, this was the best option. Was it a blow to my pride? Of course!! It still is, but at least God gave me a way of paying all my bills.

So, this is something important I look for in someone else--you didn't get your dream job or you're not working in your dream career... so what are you doing? I don't care if he's working at McDonald's--at least he's working. The reason I'm personally stuck on this is because the guys I had relationships with the past could never hold jobs for long due to pride ("this job is below me"), attitude ("I'm too good for this job, everyone else is an idiot"), or laziness ("why should I even try to work, I have [enabling people and situations in my life] and am getting by just fine.") Guess where my money always went in relationships? I pretty much spent a good portion of my life supporting men who refused to work or were spendaholics.

This is just my own personal experience and I DO REALIZE there are no guarantees... a hard worker could be come injured or disabled... But I do have to say that if God tells me otherwise? That I have to marry someone who won't work, whom I'll have to support all his life, and will spend all the money before I even bring it home? I'd have a BIG problem with that. God would DEFINITELY have to remodel me from the inside out because yes, I would rather stay single than support another man.

 

[seoulsearch]

Something else I wanted to add is that on the other end of the spectrum, I don't think our faith should be an excuse for laziness either. God accepts us all as we are but He always has us moving towards improvement as well.

For instance, I hear a lot of things along the lines of: "Oh, people should love me for who I am!!! Never mind that I don't take care of myself or bother to exercise... It's ok that I eat nothing but fried food... because Jesus loves me and so should someone else!! They're just too busy looking at supermodels to notice what a good person I am... I'm too tired to take care of myself properly anyway."

Or: "I really want a spouse and kids and a family!!! Never mind that I don't have a job and don't feel like looking for one... If only I had someone to love me, THEN I'd feel motivated to REALLY look for a job..." Maybe God isn't sending the spouse and family because He knows you can't take care of yourself, let alone an entire group of other people. If you aren't doing these things now, you won't do them even if God sends you someone. If anything, the stress and pressure of adjusting to another person will make you fall back on unhealthy patterns even harder than when you were alone, so if you're not used to making correct choices now, having another person in the picture will make it worse, not better.

Now, I AM NOT trying to make fun of or criticize people who are earnestly trying or are in circumstances out of their control--we ALL make our own excuses to a point and can all stand to improve in some way--but what I'm saying is, I hate it when things go the other way as well: it drives me crazy when people use God's love and acceptance to justify apathy and laziness.

 

[thimsrebma]

I think that if you are only rejecting someone because of looks then that may be a problem. Like Zero said earlier about rejecting someone for looks alone, money alone etc. But we all have our reasons why certain things are important to us as Seoul was explaining. On the surface it may look bad but I think they may have their reasons.

Overweight/Underweight - First of all I would like to say I am overweight, have been all of my life. I was a fat baby. But I am fine with the fact that some people are repulsed by overweight/fat people. I don't know why but they just are. Some people think its gross. Other think extremely skinnu people look bad. Who are we to say that they need to change their minds.

Money/Finances - Some people are quick to call a woman a gold digger if she merely suggests she wants a man to take care of her. I think that is sad. One of the reasons we have such domineering women in our society today is because they have had to take on the roles traditionally played by men. I am of the opinion that if a man doesnt want to take care of me then I dont want him. God has given me the ability to take care of myself been doing it for years.

Race - I am Black. Some men don't like Black women. Here the States some have this notion that Black women have bad attitudes on welfare with 5 babies daddys. Just not true. But at the same time I cant change those other people. I'm okay with their racism.

I also think that in general we are attracted to people for a reason. As a woman my natural desire is to look for a mate who I think can provide for me, protect me, and give me healthy offspring. This is probably why I like tall, medium to heavy men, with a decent job. I am not asking for a GQ Magazine Billionaire.

 

[zeroturbulence]

I think it all comes down to this... Keep an open mind.

We can have our lists and our "never in a million years" turn-offs, but if someone comes along who seems really nice but doesn't meet your expectations give them a chance. After all, God only gave Moses a stick, but with it he freed a nation and conquered the heart of a pharoah. He used a murderer, an uneducated fisherman, a tax collector and a fierce persecutor of christians to bring the Lord's teachings and blessings to the world. He used Gideon who was the least in his father's house and from the poorest family in the land to lead His army and successfully bring down the impenetrable walls of Jericho. Maybe that Gideon in your life is really your prince charming in disguise!

 

[Jullianna]

You know...the Lord DOES have a sense of humor Oftentimes the very thing we say we don't want to do or won't do is the very thing we end up doing, huh? Just sayin..

 

[thimsrebma]

You know...the Lord DOES have a sense of humor Oftentimes the very thing we say we don't want to do or won't do is the very thing we end up doing, huh? Just sayin..

Maybe true but alot of times people compromise what they want just to be with somebody and end up unhappy.

 

[Jullianna]

As scary as this is to me, I'm beginning to think like Hommer....that we overthink it all