Forgiveness: conditional or unconditional?

[MOC]

It is easy for us as Christians to assume that we are allowed to withhold forgiveness from another, if the one who has done us wrong has not repented. Our Heavenly Father however, does withhold forgiveness when we do not confess and repent of our sins, 2 Kings 24:4. We have to understand, that there is a big difference when forgiveness is from one person to another person, as opposed to forgiveness from God to us. We are not the Judge nor the Creator. No one can see the inner soul of someone and do not know a person's true motives or the character of their heart. Only God has the power and wisdom to judge such things. As Christians, when we forgive we must look for genuine repentance, which always involves a confession of what that person did wrong and a willingness to correct that wrong.

Matthew 18:35 "So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not everyone his brother their trespasses." True forgiveness that is "from the heart" of a Christian is one of the signs of genuine salvation and conversion.

Luke 23:34 "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do." We are to forgive those who are ignorant to the fact, that what they are doing, is wrong. This is totally different than willful, premeditated, habitual sin that dictate how that person lives out their life.

Luke 17:3-4 "If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if the repent, forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him." Our forgiveness to those who repent should be offered freely, even for repeat offenders. After all, we are all repeat offenders against God. But always remember to use wise discernment when evaluating a person's repentance.

1 John 1:8-9 "if we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." Forgiveness and the cleansing it brings is conditional upon the confession of our sins.

Christians are to forgive independently of the behavior of the one doing wrong. However, this is not to say that forgiveness automatically revokes consequences, even after a person has repented. In the cases where there is no repentance, we must maintain a forgiving disposition in our heart and move on with life with no longings for vengeance or vindication. Its clear that God expects certain conditions to be met concerning forgiveness, that is confession and repentance, or having the desire to turn away from the error of their ways.

 

[TheIndianGirl]

As Christians, when we forgive we must look for genuine repentance, which always involves a confession of what that person did wrong and a willingness to correct that wrong.

Its clear that God expects certain conditions to be met concerning forgiveness, that is confession and repentance, or having the desire to turn away from the error of their ways.

It the offender doesn't seek forgiveness or repent, are we required to forgive?

 

[Blik]

The Lord allows us to choose to sin and still loves us. Any time a sinner wants God's forgiveness more than his sin that person is welcomed with great joy, there is no holding a grudge by our Lord. We are to do the same with those who sin against us.

 

[Deuteronomy]

If the offender doesn't seek forgiveness or repent, are we required to forgive?

Hello TheIndianGirl, that is a great question. Perhaps the other question is, should we choose to forgive them if they don't repent? (for our sake, but ~especially~ for theirs)

The Lord Jesus tells us this,

Luke 17​

3 “If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him.​

4 And if he sins against you seven times a day, and returns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ forgive him.”​

I don't believe that the Lord meant "forgiveness" to be an end in itself (though many, or perhaps most today within Christendom seem to believe otherwise). Rather, I believe that the Lord's purpose in having us either repent of our sins, or to forgive the one who has repented, is "reconciliation", as we are called as Christians to be His peacemakers, yes .. Matthew 5:9.

The painful part of this process is what happens at the beginning of it, which is why I believe that so many (who have been sinned against) fail to take the necessary first step ... which is rebuking the person who hurt them (1. so that they'll know that they have done so, and 2. so that they'll know what harm their sin has caused, emotionally and/or otherwise).

I have to admit to being guilty of doing this myself (sadly, on numerous occasions), so I'm not sure what the answer is (other than choosing to obey the word of God, come what may). The thing is, the Biblical model calls for us to rebuke the one who sinned against us while the "wound" of their offense is still fresh/painful. It's hardly an easy thing to do, and the last thing that many of us would ever want to do at that point is to be forced to forgive the person who offended us, and eventually be reconciled with them.

This is why I believe that modern "forgiveness" isn't really forgiveness at all. I suppose you could call it "forgiveness in silence", since its intention is self-seeking, not the good of another. And since its purpose is self-serving, it is neither Biblical, nor can it be considered as something that will ever be pleasing/honoring/glorifying to God.

We choose to (at best) forget about the one who caused us harm by "forgiving them" in our minds, to feel better about ourselves and many times, to (passively) hurt them back if we can. We think that we're doing the "right" thing when, sadly, we actually end up doing the very opposite

As Christians, we're not to harbor hatred against someone who has hurt us, ever. If/when we do, we become sinners ourselves, so forgiving someone in silence is not the answer. At that point, repenting and asking God to forgive us instead is, for the resentment and/or hatred against another that we've harbored and allowed to fester within us by failing to bring the sin into the light of day (which is what the Bible tells us to do .. e.g. see Luke 17:3-4 above).

In the end, I believe that all lose when we choose to act this way (both the sinner, who is denied the opportunity to repent, seek forgiveness and be reconciled, as well the one who was sinned against, who denies themselves the opportunity to offer forgiveness, be reconciled, and to become one of God's peacemakers).

The only "winner" in the process is Satan, who I believe is behind it all

God bless you!

~Deut
p.s. - sorry about the essay @TheIndianGirl, I only intended to write a couple of sentences when I started my reply (none of this was aimed at you, BTW, I just used your post to enter the discussion because of the very important question that you asked).

​

 

[Deuteronomy]

Finally, in case anyone is interested, here is one of my all-time favorite John MacArthur sermons (which you can listen to and/or read for free, here) on Matthew 5:9, Happy Are The Peacemakers

~Deut

Psalm 85
10 Lovingkindness and truth have met together; Righteousness and peace have kissed each other.
​

 

[Blik]

Hello TheIndianGirl, that is a great question. Perhaps the other question is, should we choose to forgive them if they don't repent? (for our sake, but ~especially~ for theirs)

You have done a wonderful work of study of this question. I think it can be summed up in that we are to let the Lord judge others, we must not try to take over the lord's work. If someone sins against you, it is their choice and only the Lord can judge it.

 

[Deuteronomy]

You have done a wonderful work of study of this question.

Thanks, but I feel like I’ve barely scratched the surface of this extremely important and difficult Biblical topic.

I think it can be summed up in that we are to let the Lord judge others, we must not try to take over the lord's work. If someone sins against you, it is their choice and only the Lord can judge it.

If that’s the case, how are we to obey His opening command to us in Luke 17:3

Perhaps I am misunderstanding what you saying however? If so, please elaborate.

Thanks

~Deut
p.s. - as a bit of an aside, we are not to judge someone’s motives, but surely we can judge what others do for their sake, yes?

Luke 17​

3 “If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him.”​

​

 

[Blik]

Thanks, but I feel like I’ve barely scratched the surface of this extremely important and difficult Biblical topic.


If that’s the case, how are we to obey His opening command to us in Luke 17:3

Perhaps I am misunderstanding what you saying however? If so, please elaborate.

Thanks

~Deut

Luke 17​

3 “If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him.”​

​

It seems to me that if we copy what God does about his relations with us when we sin against Him, God rebukes us. It wouldn't stop that we not judge others but allow them to freely choose their own way in life. We still could judge the sin they did to us, but not judge them.

I think you are right in all you say about forgiveness, I was just trying to cut to the chase.

 

[Deuteronomy]

BTW Brother, I believe that my choice to adhere too strictly to the 11th Commandment is the reason that I’ve failed to obey Luke 17:3 at times, you know, “thou shalt always be nice to everyone, no matter what”

I believe that commandment can only be found in the earliest manuscripts among the “Red” Sea scrolls, so few, if any, have ever laid their eyes on it

~Deut

 

[Magenta]

Christians are to forgive independently of the behavior of the one doing wrong.

That is not what Jesus said in Luke 17:3.

 

[eternally-gratefull]

If forgiveness is conditional, we are all doomed.

we have already failed to meet the condition

 

[Magenta]

If forgiveness is conditional, we are all doomed.

we have already failed to meet the condition

Forgiveness is offered unilaterally. What of those who refuse it?

 

[p_rehbein]

As Christians, when we forgive we must look for genuine repentance, which always involves a confession of what that person did wrong and a willingness to correct that wrong.

Not sure I understand what you are saying here. IF you are saying that when we forgive someone of something they did to us, and THEY DO NOT confess that wrong and try to make it right, we DO NOT forgive them?

If that is what you are saying, I disagree. When we forgive someone a wrongdoing, our heart is clear of any anger or judgement of that person. What they do is between them and God, for He has reserved vengeance for Himself.

 

[JaumeJ]

I believe Jesus-Yeshua gave the response from the Cross when He cried,

"Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do."

 

[throughfaith]

It is easy for us as Christians to assume that we are allowed to withhold forgiveness from another, if the one who has done us wrong has not repented. Our Heavenly Father however, does withhold forgiveness when we do not confess and repent of our sins, 2 Kings 24:4. We have to understand, that there is a big difference when forgiveness is from one person to another person, as opposed to forgiveness from God to us. We are not the Judge nor the Creator. No one can see the inner soul of someone and do not know a person's true motives or the character of their heart. Only God has the power and wisdom to judge such things. As Christians, when we forgive we must look for genuine repentance, which always involves a confession of what that person did wrong and a willingness to correct that wrong.

Matthew 18:35 "So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not everyone his brother their trespasses." True forgiveness that is "from the heart" of a Christian is one of the signs of genuine salvation and conversion.

Luke 23:34 "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do." We are to forgive those who are ignorant to the fact, that what they are doing, is wrong. This is totally different than willful, premeditated, habitual sin that dictate how that person lives out their life.

Luke 17:3-4 "If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if the repent, forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him." Our forgiveness to those who repent should be offered freely, even for repeat offenders. After all, we are all repeat offenders against God. But always remember to use wise discernment when evaluating a person's repentance.

1 John 1:8-9 "if we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." Forgiveness and the cleansing it brings is conditional upon the confession of our sins.

Christians are to forgive independently of the behavior of the one doing wrong. However, this is not to say that forgiveness automatically revokes consequences, even after a person has repented. In the cases where there is no repentance, we must maintain a forgiving disposition in our heart and move on with life with no longings for vengeance or vindication. Its clear that God expects certain conditions to be met concerning forgiveness, that is confession and repentance, or having the desire to turn away from the error of their ways.

As a believer today we should forgive BECAUSE we ARE forgiven . Thats the motivation. I know many Christians who are caught up in works salvation/ Lordship salvation who seek forgiveness for fear of losing salvation.

 

[throughfaith]

It is easy for us as Christians to assume that we are allowed to withhold forgiveness from another, if the one who has done us wrong has not repented. Our Heavenly Father however, does withhold forgiveness when we do not confess and repent of our sins, 2 Kings 24:4. We have to understand, that there is a big difference when forgiveness is from one person to another person, as opposed to forgiveness from God to us. We are not the Judge nor the Creator. No one can see the inner soul of someone and do not know a person's true motives or the character of their heart. Only God has the power and wisdom to judge such things. As Christians, when we forgive we must look for genuine repentance, which always involves a confession of what that person did wrong and a willingness to correct that wrong.

Matthew 18:35 "So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not everyone his brother their trespasses." True forgiveness that is "from the heart" of a Christian is one of the signs of genuine salvation and conversion.

Luke 23:34 "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do." We are to forgive those who are ignorant to the fact, that what they are doing, is wrong. This is totally different than willful, premeditated, habitual sin that dictate how that person lives out their life.

Luke 17:3-4 "If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if the repent, forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him." Our forgiveness to those who repent should be offered freely, even for repeat offenders. After all, we are all repeat offenders against God. But always remember to use wise discernment when evaluating a person's repentance.

1 John 1:8-9 "if we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." Forgiveness and the cleansing it brings is conditional upon the confession of our sins.

Christians are to forgive independently of the behavior of the one doing wrong. However, this is not to say that forgiveness automatically revokes consequences, even after a person has repented. In the cases where there is no repentance, we must maintain a forgiving disposition in our heart and move on with life with no longings for vengeance or vindication. Its clear that God expects certain conditions to be met concerning forgiveness, that is confession and repentance, or having the desire to turn away from the error of their ways.

I notice your quoting verses which are before Jesus dies for the sins of the world ?

 

[throughfaith]

Thanks, but I feel like I’ve barely scratched the surface of this extremely important and difficult Biblical topic.


If that’s the case, how are we to obey His opening command to us in Luke 17:3

Perhaps I am misunderstanding what you saying however? If so, please elaborate.

Thanks

~Deut
p.s. - as a bit of an aside, we are not to judge someone’s motives, but surely we can judge what others do for their sake, yes?

Luke 17​

3 “If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him.”​

​

Jesus is speaking to Jews who are still under the law. The cross hasn't happened yet .

 

[Blackpowderduelist]

It the offender doesn't seek forgiveness or repent, are we required to forgive?

Yes, however this does not mean that we continue relationship with an unrepentant toxic person. We use wisdom and have boundaries, but our desire to seek revenge or even see justice can't continue with us. Our prayer is that they come to repentance.
I often pray imprecatory prayers but they are hinged on what ever God has to do to drive them to repentance. Because we want evil doers to repent and be saved.

 

[BrianS]

Yes, however this does not mean that we continue relationship with an unrepentant toxic person. We use wisdom and have boundaries, but our desire to seek revenge or even see justice can't continue with us. Our prayer is that they come to repentance.
I often pray imprecatory prayers but they are hinged on what ever God has to do to drive them to repentance. Because we want evil doers to repent and be saved.

Is it right then that we point out the sin that has been committed? Is it wrong if we do not? Sometimes people have various reasons for why they sin and we don't know their inner thoughts or justifications. I just wonder your thoughts on the rebuking part of this discussion. I agree with what you have said, but I wonder if it helps or can further hurt someone to even gently call them out on their sin.

 

[posthuman]

Yes, however this does not mean that we continue relationship with an unrepentant toxic person. We use wisdom and have boundaries, but our desire to seek revenge or even see justice can't continue with us. Our prayer is that they come to repentance.
I often pray imprecatory prayers but they are hinged on what ever God has to do to drive them to repentance. Because we want evil doers to repent and be saved.

the example of someone preaching heresy might be useful to look at:

we are to treat them as anathema, cursed things, not listening to them or fellowshipping with them. elders are expected to be able to contradict false teaching with right doctrine, both commanding heretics not to continue spreading their lies and gently instructing them in truth, with hope that they will come to repentance & escape the Devil's deceit.

so is this 'forgiving unrepentant heretics'? if it is, it's certainly not ignoring their sin.