Epidemic of childless and miserable 40+ women

[saintrose]

I was fortunate enough that I got the exposure I needed to these hard truths before hand. The reason


Just doing my part to help point out some things that are not often pointed out. This kind of narrative it not only plausible, but likely. Why would the media not alert us to this? Because they have an agenda. They will never entertain opinions that counter their agenda.

You won't hear the kind of opinions I espouse often, either, at least not outside of this message board, and maybe a few others, because it normally eventually gets censored. This message board seems pretty safe, though, but sites like this are forced into the corners of the internet.

The prime real estates of the internet practice heavy censorship of the truth. The truth is out there but not a lot of people talk about it. It honestly looks like the mainstream media, politicians, mainstream social media, and the entertainment industry coordinate with each other to match narratives.

Ever seen what happens to one of their own when they break script? They usually get sent to "rehab", blacklisted, ostracized, or depersoned.

It's a strange world out there for sure. You sound like you are doing a good job seeing through the lies.

I don't know how you came about to learn all of what is really going on, but I do believe that it is God who opened our eyes to it. What I find hard is talking to others who don't know about it. I'm coming to the realization that the best thing that I can do is pray that God will remove the darkness. Just as the veil is lifted and you're able to see truth when you're spiritually reborn, I believe that God is continuing to lift the veil to show us truth. Henry Makow prints a lot of comments. Brother Nathaniel Kapner prints a lot of comments. Sophisticated psychology has been used on the masses though and many remain in darkness when it is right before their eyes. But I was in darkness too.

People aren't discussing things and I think we should. We have what is known as a "normalcy bias" where we tend to think that things are going to continue on as they always have, but we as citizens should confront the fact that FEMA camps are likely prepared for us. It's a frightening thought and I tend to push it out of my consciousness. I need to pray to see what God is leading towards but I think that we all have the duty to learn what is really planned for us RIGHT THIS VERY MINUTE AND PREPARE FOR IT. Churches should unite.

I think we should revisit the Christian Armenien genocide to remind ourselves that this really does happen. It's hard to believe it's happening in America but it's collapsing around us and no one is organized. I hope that people on here will urge their Pastors to unite with other Pastors as unity is where strength is.

https://www.raymondibrahim.com/2019...ting-islams-greatest-slaughter-of-christians/


Remember Solzhenitsyn’s words in the GULAG ARCHIPELAGO: “Resistance should have began right there but it did not begin. You aren’t gagged, you really can and you really ought to cry out that arrests are being made on the strength of false accusations. If many such outcries had been heard all over the city would arrests have no longer have been so easy.”

They, the tyrants, can’t work in the public eye. Those people who were so apathetic, hoping that nothing was really wrong, that nothing would happen to their persons and property, sat back and watched.

If you think that all (that) is necessary is to pay your bills, to go vote when there is an election, and to stand back during the rest of tht year and watch as your country and way of life are replaced by a system in which you will be a slave in a concentration camp, you – not the conspirators – are guilty because you, by silent acquiescence, invite tyranny and oppression.

 

[saintrose]

Those people who were so apathetic, hoping that nothing was really wrong, that nothing would happen to their persons and property, sat back and watched.

 

[saintrose]

It's sad that your sister is causing such issues in your family. The old saying goes "you can choose your friends but you can't choose your family." But on the other side of the coin we need to be careful that we don't generalize, whether with women or men. I never had children, my sister did. My job is to spoil my nephews rotten ( and I do). I don't interfere in her family or step in unless she asks for my help. She knows I'm there if she needs me. I'm not bitter nor miserable. I think certain people have issues with making decisions in their lives. They're always about the "what could have been". It's just their personalities. People don't have children for a variety of reasons. Why be bitter, like you say, she could adopt. If not, bloom where you're planted, don't be bitter.

You sound like you are wise in your relationship with your sister. I do believe that children/ young adults are enriched by having relationships with extended family members. You are right that you cannot generalize because not everyone fits into column A or B - only sometimes do people fit into a column. In this particular instance, it was sad that my sister was unhappy about her own life choices; my husband said she always put out the persona of being the happy, fun person whose life was great - when it was a lie she told herself and everyone else. She didn't want the life she acted like was so great. I believe in her mind she had a belief that she was finally going to fulfill a long-held (but suppressed beneath her consciousness) desire for children.

I do think there was something in my family line that wasn't good. My great grandfather was a pastor but someone dropped the ball. I think that forgiving my sister and allowing her to continue to wreak havoc in my family was not what God called me to do. My friend actually said "she is frightening!" Because she knew the horrendous trials I was going through. The sharks come swimming around when they smell blood in the water. She was no friend.

She knew something extremely evil that the oldest one did and she was okay with her...as long as it wasn't done to HER. I did not come from a good family.

Some people are very aggressive - and she is - and the more you back off the worse they get. I tried doing the Christian thing but she lied about what she was doing and when I told her how much harm she caused she never once apologized. I knew something was up when she was acting odd; she never contacted me to find out how I was doing but she was texting and contacting my family. That's weird. She waited until my husband and I left town and got my family together to go out to dinner - without us. They sent a photo of her parked with her rear-end in the middle of MY family like the matriarch. A picture is worth a thousand words.

I had to cut her off because she wouldn't control herself. She wasn't being honest about her true motives. When you ask someone to stop contacting your family because they're interfering most people would politely back off. She went crazy and then tried to use her position as Executrix to take money out of my inheritance.

When you've walked with God long enough you can sense the footsteps of the evil one and the people he controls and he was controlling her and the crooked lawyer she hired. Maybe it will give her time to face herself, her motives, and God. I think when we rush to forgive too soon we short-circuit that process of repentance for sin.

 

[saintrose]

This is what can happen to women that decide to focus on their career or be promiscuous, both of which are encouraged in today's society. It can sometimes happen also to women that are fussy with men.

It IS encouraged - Hollyweird and talk shows all push it and it's really sad because it looks like it's the women who are suffering. I'm sure men suffer as well because they may not find the type of woman they are looking for.

It's sad what has been done to young people. It really shows the spirit of the people behind it.

 

[GaryA]

Is this still a Christian forum?

In other news, women should absolutely be 'fussy' with men. This forum is proof of that

I think @PC123 is using the word 'fussy' in the [negative] sense of "superfluous petty fickle aggravation" while you are using the word in the [positive] sense of "conscientious principled meticulous discernment" --- both of which are absolutely stated correctly - each within its own context, of course...

 

[Lucy-Pevensie]

Did you find that your singleness had anything to do with the quality of men available now? I was reading an article the other day and a young woman said that she went towards a career but in her later 30's I believe, began to realize that it was not what she wanted. She said that she goes on dates but the guys are basically low quality. I imagine it's the same for a man looking for a quality woman today.

Do you think Hollywood shaped this culture with bad values?

My husband said he and his men noticed that all the younger guys who were coming into the company were all cutthroat. I'm worried about what this country is turning into. Not the world I grew up in. I just wonder how we can turn it around.

When I was younger I looked forward to being a wife, cooking, looking after a home and the things that go along with that.
What I found mostly is that men don't want to commit.
Obviously some of them do. I can't paint all men with the same brush but I didn't have any luck.

I understand from talking to younger people that it's quite common now even for the young men.
My nephews & my friend's 2 grown boys (20's-30's) tell me they can have sex if they want it but can't find nice girls
that want relationships. And they are decent men with good jobs. Strange girls!
From 3 siblings, 1 has found a wife and they now have 2 children but the other 2 are still praying & seeking.

Hollywood might be part of the problem. The images of things we aspire to, or are supposed to aspire to.
From films, I gather women now are supposed to be eternally young & thin.
Plus be able to kick the daylights out of 10 bad men while wearing a bikini?

 

[Adstar]

I hope that this post does not offend anyone who has chosen to be childless. I had an experience where my sister chose to be childless and I made the mistake of sharing my children's phone numbers with her. She actually tried to take over my family. It was a battle to get her out of their lives when she began causing trouble. She made the mistake of running me down to one of my children who went back at her when they saw what she was doing. She reminded me of that bird that goes around sitting on any nest of eggs it finds and sits in the nest of another bird's eggs.

It got me thinking about the number of young women who have chosen a career over a family. I looked it up and was shocked that psychologists have found great misery in 40 - something's who chose career instead of a family. That describes my sister. I tried to get her to adopt several times but she refused. I don't know why. I think she was in denial about it.

Has anyone else encountered these women or this type of situation?

https://vigilantcitizenforums.com/threads/feminist-lies-that-are-making-women-miserable.8578/

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/...atable-reason-career-women-end-childless.html

https://www.returnofkings.com/116603/20-reasons-why-modern-women-are-so-unstable-and-miserable

This is not a new thing.. Feminism has encouraged woman to seek justification in their life / society by striving for achievements in carriers and this has been pushed for my entire life.. I was born in 1965..

So it is no surprise that there are a large number of middle ages woman who are single and never married..

Feminism has also denigrated men ""the patriarchy"" in the eyes of woman and promoted the idea that woman who get married and do not have carriers are losers and door mat woman who are suffering form ""internalized misogyny""..

It is sad that many woman hit their middle age and suffer deep regret knowing they will never be mothers and will be living the rest of their lives alone.. But in the end they decided to embrace the message feminism promoted.. Personal responsibility for their personal outcome should be accepted.. They should not simply see themselves as perpetual victims of someone else's control.. They played an active and enthusiastic role in their own outcome..

Oh and for most of my statements about woman add ""NOT ALL WOMAN"" I know that a number of woman get triggered and take every statement as personal.. Or interpret every statement said about woman to mean ALL woman.. If the description does not fit you do not wear it and get triggered ladies..

 

[PC123]

I think @PC123 is using the word 'fussy' in the [negative] sense of "superfluous petty fickle aggravation" while you are using the word in the [positive] sense of "conscientious principled meticulous discernment" --- both of which are absolutely stated correctly - each within its own context, of course...

Careful there mate... She's easily triggered

 

[Dude653]

Maybe they value their personal freedom over marriage and children
Children can be an enormous financial burden and some people just don't want that
Honestly this entire thread just reeks of misogyny and telling women to stay pregnant and in the kitchen

 

[TheIndianGirl]

It is sad that many woman hit their middle age and suffer deep regret knowing they will never be mothers and will be living the rest of their lives alone.

There may be some regret especially if the woman realizes there was a missed opportunity (aborted baby who she now wants, miscarried baby where she is now unnecessarily blaming herself for the misfortune, or she may have rejected a proposal). She may be pondering the "what ifs" in life. However, women, especially Christian women, who did not experience this should not have a big regret. I think whenever someone is dwelling on the "what ifs" in life, they can create some regrets. Living alone for the rest of our lives isn't eternity by the way, as one gets older the years go by faster.

Also, I believe there is a bias in this thread that men have no regrets being old and childless, but only women. Is this realistic? Men have have a need/goal to "spread their seed".

 

[PC123]

Maybe they value their personal freedom over marriage and children
Children can be an enormous financial burden and some people just don't want that
Honestly this entire thread just reeks of misogyny and telling women to stay pregnant and in the kitchen

Ahahaha get back in the kitchen and cook up some dinner...
Oh and don't even think about having that baby cos we want you to stay pregnant...

In case you didn't notice the title of the thread is "Epidemic of childless and miserable 40+ women"
No one is talking about women who choose such a life

 

[PC123]

Also, I believe there is a bias in this thread that men have no regrets being old and childless, but only women. Is this realistic?

The short answer is no, it's not realistic at all... It's the same for men.
I would site the exact same reasons; trust, career, promiscuity, fussiness and I'm sure there are other reasons as well

Men have a need/goal to "spread their seed".

I would call it an innate drive, especially in our 20's when our libido is at its highest...
But there comes a time when that innate drive is overtaken by another innate drive which is to have a family...

Personally, I never felt that desire to have a family until my ex left me for some rich grandpa about 6 years ago...
That realization that I would never have a child, that I would not have anyone to love or have anyone to love me was devastating...

It can be so devastating that it can drive a person to suicide...
Many people have heard that 75% of suicides are men but that's not the whole story...
For every suicide that occurs there are about 25-30 failed attempts at suicide, 75% of which are women...

One can draw a few conclusions from that but the point I'm making is that it affects everyone

 

[Adstar]

There may be some regret especially if the woman realizes there was a missed opportunity (aborted baby who she now wants, miscarried baby where she is now unnecessarily blaming herself for the misfortune, or she may have rejected a proposal). She may be pondering the "what ifs" in life. However, women, especially Christian women, who did not experience this should not have a big regret. I think whenever someone is dwelling on the "what ifs" in life, they can create some regrets. Living alone for the rest of our lives isn't eternity by the way, as one gets older the years go by faster.

Also, I believe there is a bias in this thread that men have no regrets being old and childless, but only women. Is this realistic? Men have have a need/goal to "spread their seed".

There is no bias in this thread because the title for discussion is childless +40 woman

If someone wants to talk about childless men they are free to start a new topic, talking about childless men..

 

[saintrose]

When I was younger I looked forward to being a wife, cooking, looking after a home and the things that go along with that.
What I found mostly is that men don't want to commit.
Obviously some of them do. I can't paint all men with the same brush but I didn't have any luck.

I understand from talking to younger people that it's quite common now even for the young men.
My nephews & my friend's 2 grown boys (20's-30's) tell me they can have sex if they want it but can't find nice girls
that want relationships. And they are decent men with good jobs. Strange girls!
From 3 siblings, 1 has found a wife and they now have 2 children but the other 2 are still praying & seeking.

Hollywood might be part of the problem. The images of things we aspire to, or are supposed to aspire to.
From films, I gather women now are supposed to be eternally young & thin.
Plus be able to kick the daylights out of 10 bad men while wearing a bikini?

I wonder why men wouldn't want to commit? Maybe because they enjoy the loose party-life too much. My Nan used to say "If they get the milk for free why buy the cow?" I think she had a point.

My son is a tall, good-looking man who dated a beautiful blonde. She was a little self-centered though - you could pick up clues. They broke up - he never said why.. I knew whoever got him was really making out because he's a good man - a rarity in today's culture. He actually cares about his customers and people love him.

He then dated a young woman who was overweight but had a pretty face and she pursued him until they married. She wouldn't have been my choice for him but after years of being married it's obvious that she loves him and made the best wife I ever could have hoped for him to marry. I realized that he was smart in who he chose. She makes him meals, does his laundry, and basically waits on him. i know that's not culturally accepted among today's women but that woman knew how to get a man and they have a great relationship.

 

[saintrose]

This is not a new thing.. Feminism has encouraged woman to seek justification in their life / society by striving for achievements in carriers and this has been pushed for my entire life.. I was born in 1965..

So it is no surprise that there are a large number of middle ages woman who are single and never married..

Feminism has also denigrated men ""the patriarchy"" in the eyes of woman and promoted the idea that woman who get married and do not have carriers are losers and door mat woman who are suffering form ""internalized misogyny""..

It is sad that many woman hit their middle age and suffer deep regret knowing they will never be mothers and will be living the rest of their lives alone.. But in the end they decided to embrace the message feminism promoted.. Personal responsibility for their personal outcome should be accepted.. They should not simply see themselves as perpetual victims of someone else's control.. They played an active and enthusiastic role in their own outcome..

Oh and for most of my statements about woman add ""NOT ALL WOMAN"" I know that a number of woman get triggered and take every statement as personal.. Or interpret every statement said about woman to mean ALL woman.. If the description does not fit you do not wear it and get triggered ladies..

Yes people make their own choices but the culture - the movies especially, and TV shows - push all that stuff and women are internalizing these messages from birth on up. I really think it's destroyed a lot of what was good about America. One of the top goals of communism is destruction of the family.

You can see some of the bitterness come out in women and it's sad. I watched a documentary and a woman lawyer sat on TV crying because she missed out on having a family. She said "everybody always told me to prepare for a career."

Henry Makow has a good article on his site about "How Rockefeller re-engineered women." I just think people should wake up, turn the TV off, ignore Hollywood, and build good communities away from their warped designs.

 

[saintrose]

Maybe they value their personal freedom over marriage and children
Children can be an enormous financial burden and some people just don't want that
Honestly this entire thread just reeks of misogyny and telling women to stay pregnant and in the kitchen

Yes by all means - if someone is happy with their life choices then good for them. Children are a financial and emotional burden. But some do choose that. No one is "pushing" any lifestyle over another. This is just taking a look at today's world and seeing what is truly influencing us and if it's in our best interests or not. I believe there are many anti-family messages.

I wonder where you got the idea of misogyny? Sometimes we repeat ideas that have been subtly introduced by Tavistock Institute. The very word carries a whole connotation of trigger points and social justice warrior stuff when it was nothing like that. This has nothing to do with trying to keep women in the kitchen and pregnant. It's more about questioning whether training and "keeping" some' women in the boardroom is really permanently damaging their lives. A lot of it depends on the quality of person that you marry.

Some women who choose a childless lifestyle should be supported and affirmed in whatever life she carves out for herself. I'm just looking at the underlying lies that attempt to sell women on the idea that staying home with children is bad/ boardroom is good.

 

[Adstar]

Yes people make their own choices but the culture - the movies especially, and TV shows - push all that stuff and women are internalizing these messages from birth on up. I really think it's destroyed a lot of what was good about America. One of the top goals of communism is destruction of the family.

You can see some of the bitterness come out in women and it's sad. I watched a documentary and a woman lawyer sat on TV crying because she missed out on having a family. She said "everybody always told me to prepare for a career."

Henry Makow has a good article on his site about "How Rockefeller re-engineered women." I just think people should wake up, turn the TV off, ignore Hollywood, and build good communities away from their warped designs.

It was and is the objective of cultural marxist to undermine and destroy non- marxist societies.. Once you destroy a society then you can then take it over and build a communist society.. It's like what happens to new army recruits they are taken to camps and they are destroyed to a certain extent by their drill sergeant.. This includes a mental side.. Then once they have destroyed the recruit they then rebuild them into a person who will be mentaly suited to soildering..

Of course time and time again socialism / communism has failed where ever it has been tried because it denies human nature.. The same will happen to societies that embrace Feminism.. Feminist societies are effectively barren. The western feminist cultures are now unable to replace their own population and are now importing many thousands of people from cultures diametrically opposed to western culture.. The fall of western culture is inevitable because their culture cannot inherit the earth if they are failing to do the most basic thing that allows that to happen.. Having babies..

And yes the elites of the west did encourage feminism not for the benifit of woman but to effectivly doube the work force thus ensuring continued downward pressure on wages and conditions of their workers.. Bakc in the 1950's a working class man could afford to support a wife and kids and from time to time even afford to take them on a vacation.. Now in the west it takes both the husband and wife to be working in higher paying carriers to be able to afford the costs of living and often then cannot afford or are even allowed to take a week of work for a yearly vacation.. For most people a week on a beach only happens when they are colledge students or when they retire..

 

[TheIndianGirl]

I don't know what people mean when they say a woman choses "career ahead of family." Does it mean she decided to go to college? Or does it mean she decided to pursue graduate studies? Or, does it mean she decided to choose certain professions, and what are these professions? Even a "feminine" field such as nursing is a difficult career requiring odd hours with a lot of stress. It's not like the old movies where the girl walks around in heels carrying a tray. The only examples I can think of is if a woman rejected a proposal from a guy, or if she paused dating for school, then I can say she placed her career first. However, most people I know study/work and date at the same time.

What should be done to discourage girls from entering certain fields? If parents want to discourage their girls from choosing certain careers, this needs to implemented early in childhood. I don't know too many parents who raise their girls this way, and I'm not even sure if it's fair to the child. Most parents raise their girls telling them that they can be whatever they want/reach for the stars, etc. I think that's the underlying influence on why girls place importance in careers - how they were raised. The girls go through schools earning good/great grades, they gain interest in certain fields some of which take longer time in study. Some jobs require longer hours, such as law or owning a business. It is very obvious when parents do not place importance on school or careers, their kids in general (girl included) are fine with getting Cs, not going to college, etc. So, I think the biggest influence is probably parents/immediate people in one's lives.

 

[Kireina]

That is quite sad...I can imagine what you went through...@PC123 😔


Though I don't feel like my life is miserable...well of course, I get lonely sometimes...so I agree about that 40+ women childless and miserable...It does really affect everyone if we are going to be honest here...the only thing that keeps me hopeful the only thing that puts smile on my lips is the LORD but without Him I think I'll be lost...I'LL be jumping from one man to another and I'll be sleeping around...or I got few failed marriages already... It is quite hard actually to keep your hopes up when you are seeing gray hairs on your head lol...


So, I think the title of @saintrose's thread have some truths...because though it doesn't apply to me I know that if not because of God's grace being a 40+ childless and single woman would make my life so lonely and maybe miserable 😅

Last night I just got a message from a man on messenger from my town...he is quite direct about his intentions...he said to me if you will accept me we'll marry immediately... I was like wow this man is interesting...but while I was talking to him I asked him a few things...he is not a believer,he just broke up with his woman a month ago,he drinks,he smokes and he lets his older sister to support his kids for their education I asked why?he said because his sister is working overseas and maybe he thinks his older sister has money that much because she is working abroad..


I was thinking about this man's offer lol lol I was like I want family...but would I learn to love this man in the long run? Can I tolerate his drinking and smoking habits? Can I compromise my faith...? He has two kids and that's fine I guess...He has work earning ok...He looks ok also... I immediately turned him down in the end...because of one reason(aside from being an unbeliever)...he failed to take his responsibility as a father...If he can't support and take full responsibility for his own kids ...why would you ask me to trust my life to you...I am a stranger 🤔 I guess am I fussy? 😮

 

[Ruby123]

That is quite sad...I can imagine what you went through...@PC123 😔


Though I don't feel like my life is miserable...well of course, I get lonely sometimes...so I agree about that 40+ women childless and miserable...It does really affect everyone if we are going to be honest here...the only thing that keeps me hopeful the only thing that puts smile on my lips is the LORD but without Him I think I'll be lost...I'LL be jumping from one man to another and I'll be sleeping around...or I got few failed marriages already... It is quite hard actually to keep your hopes up when you are seeing gray hairs on your head lol...


So, I think the title of @saintrose's thread have some truths...because though it doesn't apply to me I know that if not because of God's grace being a 40+ childless and single woman would make my life so lonely and maybe miserable 😅

Last night I just got a message from a man on messenger from my town...he is quite direct about his intentions...he said to me if you will accept me we'll marry immediately... I was like wow this man is interesting...but while I was talking to him I asked him a few things...he is not a believer,he just broke up with his woman a month ago,he drinks,he smokes and he lets his older sister to support his kids for their education I asked why?he said because his sister is working overseas and maybe he thinks his older sister has money that much because she is working abroad..


I was thinking about this man's offer lol lol I was like I want family...but would I learn to love this man in the long run? Can I tolerate his drinking and smoking habits? Can I compromise my faith...? He has two kids and that's fine I guess...He has work earning ok...He looks ok also... I immediately turned him down in the end...because of one reason(aside from being an unbeliever)...he failed to take his responsibility as a father...If he can't support and take full responsibility for his own kids ...why would you ask me to trust my life to you...I am a stranger 🤔 I guess am I fussy? 😮

Please don't accept this guys offer Kireina. The fact alone of him not being a believer is enough to say no plus all of his bad habits you have said he has. I know it is frustrating waiting. I asked the Lord to remove any desires I may have had to meet somebody as at one stage I was feeling so misereable that I hadn't. He did, not immediately but it did come. Now I am not fussed. If he has someone for me great, if not I am ok with it. There are times that I do feel lonely but it does go. Don't just settle for anybody as it is just a temporary relief but can easily become a long time headache if it is the wrong person.