There is an abundance of books and websites and blogs out there on this subject, and along with them countless studies/surveys saying the same, or very similar things, and usually they are done/given with a list of answer choices for the men doing them to pick from/answer.
And yes, sometimes those books that have presented such info can be helpful, but I'd really like to hear from real men (not case studies)
(and no, I'm not doing any survey/studies with this, I just genuinely want to know mens views)
I'm writing this with married men in mind, but singles feel free to answer too.
Please explain, not just with one or two word answers.
- What are issues/areas in a man's life that he wants his wife to pray about?
- Often we hear about respecting husbands, as this is mentioned in Ephesians 5. WHAT/HOW does that look to a man?
I know I had some other questions, but as I am typing this they have escaped me.
I'll come back and ask as (if) I remember.
Thanks for reading and adding input.
This is something good for everyone to ponder over. I meant the Ephesians 5. It reminds anyone who reads it what God's call is for His people who follow Him and worship Him.
To answer your first question:
The issues would be many and would depend upon the person. No two individuals are the same. There are things the husband would freely discuss with his spouse if the spouse would just ask him. And there are things that he may not feel comfortable speaking about. Sometimes that could be because of fear of how the wife would perceive him after he has revealed what he holds in his heart to his wife. Issues could be anything. You have to ask him what it is that troubles him and takes away his peacefulness. If he is able to confide in you, well and good. You could then keep that in prayer. If it is something he feels delicate to talk to you about (and there could be such things), then he has to confide in one of his friends or a counselor or someone he trusts to provide him with good counsel. Anyway you could go ahead and pray for whatever he's not telling you as well. God will hear your prayers as God knows everything.
A word of advice: If the man does not want to tell you, then he may have good reason not to. So you cannot pressure him to tell you everything. And there are things women will keep locked up within themselves which they won't say either. Both man and wife sometimes have to understand and give space to each other.
But here's what I feel. Every man owes the truth to his wife at least from the time he has got to know her. The same goes for the wife too. Regarding unfaithfulness: It could be addictions to drugs, porno, alcoholism and fornication, etc. The wife is a helper. Man does not marry a woman to just beget children. That is one of the primary reasons. He marries for companionship and support in life. If it is a Christian marriage, He marries so that the wife will help him get closer to his Creator. So from the time of marriage at least, whatever the man has gone through, the wife has a right to be a part of his life and has a right to complete transparency. But if the husband is hiding something and not telling the wife, then that's what often brings strife within the marriage. But if the man is having problems because of what happened to him in his past, then I think the wife has to go easy on him and give him all the support he needs to get back from his troubles and quit bad, destructive habits. It could be anything. Because you know that he chose you as his life partner. And he would have thought that you'd stand by him in his difficulties. Like how they say, "in good and bad, sickness and health and so forth. And he should be willing to do the same. It's a two way street. The most important thing is that the wife loves the husband even in difficult situations.
To answer your second question:
Ephesians 5: There's nothing to disagree there. It's pretty self explanatory. God's word is good to follow as it is.
To sum up, it varies from man to man. You cannot generalise men. Or women for that matter. Everyone is different. Different upbringings, family environments, tolerance levels, different levels of stress, different levels of past trauma. It could also be something a man could go through at work presently. Peer pressure, New addictions, etc. As a wife, you have to expect from your man what is due you. And your husband owes you whatever he owes you in that respect. Same way, he would have made known to you what his likes and dislikes are and what his fundamental expectations from you are. It's just mutual understanding.
God's grace and his blessing is essential for a marriage to last and be blessed. One other thing is important for a successful marriage. The blessing of the parents as well. That's an entirely different topic. Still, it holds true and is connected to this one. Respecting a husband also has a lot to do with how a wife respects his parents. He would at least expect her to accept his parents as her own. If she fails to do that, then she should at least give them the respect due for the elderly.
Children's duty is not just to get married and forget about their parents. They have a duty to see to their parents well being and take care of them in their old age. To not abandon them to old age homes and live a selfish life thinking only of themselves. God will not bless such a marriage as well. You want to know where all this is given in the Bible, please refer the book of Genesis. Abraham's blessing to his children. Issac's blessing to Jacob and Esau. Jacob's blessing to the heads of the twelve tribes. So, the parents may not always be in the right. But make sure, you respect the parents and in laws. So that you do right by God.
Still, this does not mean that the parents and in laws can treat their children or the children's spouses anyway they want. They are answerable to God for the way they treat their children and children's families as well. Our God is a just God. He hears the cry of His people. So everyone is accountable to God for whatever they do to their families and their loved ones.
I'm sorry if all this is lengthy, but when you think of a marital relationship, a lot of these things have to be considered and men will have these expectations. And some may not agree to this here. As much as a man has a right for the woman to care for his parents and his family as her own, she has the right to expect the same in return from a man too.
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