Midnight Confessions
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I confess I am highly critical
Obnoxiously so
Ungodly, unkind
It happens when I am out of fellowship, it happens when I have been isolated a long time
Now the world is forced into my history and I see what this isolation
Creates, its not just me
Its being alone all the time
Removes your filter
So when you are with people
No. Filter
And rejection
I am glad there is this site
Its helping relieve the pressure
And amplifying my lack to give this
Critical nature to God
Obnoxiously so
Ungodly, unkind
It happens when I am out of fellowship, it happens when I have been isolated a long time
Now the world is forced into my history and I see what this isolation
Creates, its not just me
Its being alone all the time
Removes your filter
So when you are with people
No. Filter
And rejection
I am glad there is this site
Its helping relieve the pressure
And amplifying my lack to give this
Critical nature to God
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I confess I havent been back to my old church in ages because for me its the same old same old. One of the pastors left cos he got a better job elsewhere, so hes not a pastor anymore.
I feel like Im hanging round older people all the time in church and its not good for me. They are set in their ways and its hard to show them anything new or original.
Sometimes they might go over the same passage in the bible over and over in a sermon that Ive heard so many times before or conversely, avoid talking about any thing deeper spiritually at all. its frustrating not to be able to grow. In nz we have a thing called tall poppy syndrome and its basically if you try to do anything that stands out you will get your head chopped off.
I feel like Im hanging round older people all the time in church and its not good for me. They are set in their ways and its hard to show them anything new or original.
Sometimes they might go over the same passage in the bible over and over in a sermon that Ive heard so many times before or conversely, avoid talking about any thing deeper spiritually at all. its frustrating not to be able to grow. In nz we have a thing called tall poppy syndrome and its basically if you try to do anything that stands out you will get your head chopped off.
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I dont want to be married, and I dont know why married people think thats all I hope for just because im single.
I dont hope for marriage at all, at least in this fallen world
I dont know why people think theres a huge eligible pool of people desperate to marry, because, the majority of people I know dont.... they've got other more important things to think about.
and its not wedding planning. the stress we could do without. I mean who wants to fuss over what colour nails you wear and have dramas over it? Even the bridesmaids dont would rather not (and have to wear hideous dresses anyway that they will wear only once and cost a bomb) . Even the people that do get married complain about being married so Im like, I constantly hear about your complaints about marriage why then do you think *I* would want to go down that road as well?!
But how do you say that to someine tactfully. Single people dont usually advise married people - divorce! it will solve everything and you can become single again and be much happier. What we do is say well you married each other so you work it out together.
so why do married people seem to think the solution to a singles problems is to get married?
I dont hope for marriage at all, at least in this fallen world
I dont know why people think theres a huge eligible pool of people desperate to marry, because, the majority of people I know dont.... they've got other more important things to think about.
and its not wedding planning. the stress we could do without. I mean who wants to fuss over what colour nails you wear and have dramas over it? Even the bridesmaids dont would rather not (and have to wear hideous dresses anyway that they will wear only once and cost a bomb) . Even the people that do get married complain about being married so Im like, I constantly hear about your complaints about marriage why then do you think *I* would want to go down that road as well?!
But how do you say that to someine tactfully. Single people dont usually advise married people - divorce! it will solve everything and you can become single again and be much happier. What we do is say well you married each other so you work it out together.
so why do married people seem to think the solution to a singles problems is to get married?
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when you are In Christ, you arent ever alone, so...I kinda think that kind of thinking is redundant.
Besides, theres the story of Job and he faced all this suffering, plus he was married, all his children died but his wife was like curse God and die! so she actually wasnt that much help to him anyway!
what a great encouragement you were to your hubby Mrs Job.
Then there is proverbs 31 lady who seems to do heaps of work, but she doesnt involve her husband in her affairs. seems like she is singlehandedly running the house while her husband is away at the gates lol
Besides, theres the story of Job and he faced all this suffering, plus he was married, all his children died but his wife was like curse God and die! so she actually wasnt that much help to him anyway!
what a great encouragement you were to your hubby Mrs Job.
Then there is proverbs 31 lady who seems to do heaps of work, but she doesnt involve her husband in her affairs. seems like she is singlehandedly running the house while her husband is away at the gates lol
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Im reading a book called white lies. Part of the story is about this maori mother who bleaches her daughters skin so she can look white. Im not sure why, but I guess its to make her acceptable to the white folks who have all the money and power.
But then I think well white people go and tan and tattoo their skins to look black or different colours so I suppose they do it too.
anyway I hadnt thought about it too much until I read Mariah Careys memoir about what people try to do to fit in. But thing is nobody fits in really by being the same. Then I thought well nobody can really imitate what Mariah does with her voice. She is one of a kind. Although people sure try, its very hard to categorise people.
Im like that with plants. Each of them has a name and I dont try to grow all of one kind because, it would just be. a very boring garden if I did.
But then I think well white people go and tan and tattoo their skins to look black or different colours so I suppose they do it too.
anyway I hadnt thought about it too much until I read Mariah Careys memoir about what people try to do to fit in. But thing is nobody fits in really by being the same. Then I thought well nobody can really imitate what Mariah does with her voice. She is one of a kind. Although people sure try, its very hard to categorise people.
Im like that with plants. Each of them has a name and I dont try to grow all of one kind because, it would just be. a very boring garden if I did.
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I used to have a pair of green pothos that I called "The Normans", and another one with white spotted leaves that I called, "Natasha." I also have a purple prickly pear that I call "Percy," but he's a metal sculpture rather than a real cactus. 
Then there are my ceramic goldfish, Sam and Frank.
And I'd better stop here, before anyone tries to have me have me sent to the nut house.
Then there are my ceramic goldfish, Sam and Frank.
And I'd better stop here, before anyone tries to have me have me sent to the nut house.
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I used to have a pair of green pothos that I called "The Normans", and another one with white spotted leaves that I called, "Natasha." I also have a purple prickly pear that I call "Percy," but he's a metal sculpture rather than a real cactus.
Then there are my ceramic goldfish, Sam and Frank.
And I'd better stop here, before anyone tries to have me have me sent to the nut house.
Then there are my ceramic goldfish, Sam and Frank.
And I'd better stop here, before anyone tries to have me have me sent to the nut house.
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