Dear Ladies: You Can’t Custom Order A Husband Like You Can A Starbucks Drink

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Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
4,061
3,175
113
#82
That is a high percentage of pastors that suffer with a porn problem. I think society thinks of it as a normal part of life. I am also surprised that these porn actors have husbands/wifes and kids. It is just a normal job that pays well so it is accepted by their partners because of the money it brings in. I remember watching Louis Thereoux a journalist and interviewer who interviewed some porn actors about their jobs and asked them questions. He is a great interviewer and did some really interesting shows.
The mainstream interviews porn stars give are unreliable. Much of their social media, interviews, conference appearances, etc... are due to threats from the industry. If you want to work you'll publicize and normalize porn.

A Very high portion of the women come from childhoods filled with abuse, which is why they go into porn. They have no self esteem and are already used to the abuse that goes on behind the scenes, or even on screen.
They're also almost all drug addicts, especially the women. If they weren't one before entering they become one to cope with the misery of their jobs.

Also not all enter voluntarily. Some are forced, blackmailed or other forms of coercion.
Of those who are married there is a high likelihood abuse goes on there as well.
 

proverbs35

Senior Member
Nov 10, 2012
827
239
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#83
Yes. American women especially are living in cuckoo land when it comes to relationship ideals. I read an article by a woman who gave up her matchmaking business because she found it impossible. Many men have given up dating as they are unable to meet women's demands and are rejecting female hypocrisy. Like wanting absolute equality except when it comes to paying for dinner.

Mark Gungor, the supreme relationship expert, said it best. "When you ask a woman what she wants in a partner, she describes another woman!"

This is the consequence of decades of belittling men and the attempt to dominate and control them from kindergarten onward. Satan hates God and His ways and is determined to destroy the image of God in humanity. God created us male and female. Satan is determined to undo that distinction. He is succeeding.

Isaiah 3:12 "Youths oppress My people, and women rule over them. O My people, your guides mislead you; they turn you from your paths." Sound familiar? Think Greta Thunburg and Kamala Harris. God's order is being reversed and Christians need to engage in spiritual warfare. It may be too late, but we have to try at least.
I agree. Many American women have unrealistic expectations when it comes to marriage. Likewise, many men have unrealistic expectations about marriage too.

Case in point, an OVERWEIGHT pastor recently preached that women should strive to look like an epic trophy wife. Talk about hypocrisy.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/people...rmon-on-wives-who-let-themselves-go/?amp=true

Josh Duggar is in the news again. The Duggar family represent and promote traditional, patriarchal marriage and family values. However, Josh Duggar has lied, been unfaithful to his wife (visiting prostitutes) and been arrested for child porn all while keeping his wife barefoot and pregnant. Days before his recent arrest, Anna announced that she is pregnant with their 7th child. So much for traditional family values. They don't seem to be benefiting Anna Duggar or her kids too much.

Isaiah 3:12 "Youths oppress My people, and women rule over them. O My people, your guides mislead you; they turn you from your paths."

Let's not pretend like ALL or even MOST men in leadership have set stellar examples. The Bible is full of examples of evil and/or ineffective male leaders. Case in point, most of the kings of Israel were evil. The evil kings rebelled against God and led those under their authority (wives, children, the nation of Israel) away from God and into national idolatry.

When the wicked rule, the people groan. Pro 29:2B

Like a roaring lion or a charging bear is a wicked ruler over a helpless people. Pro 28:15

I am not saying that women make better leaders than men either. I have worked for ineffective female bosses. I have worked for ineffective male bosses. I have worked for capable female bosses. I have worked for capable male bosses.

Effective leadership is not about gender. The best, most capable leaders are the ones who have a consistent relationship with God and cultivate the fruit of the spirit in their lives.
 
Nov 26, 2012
3,095
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#84
The mainstream interviews porn stars give are unreliable. Much of their social media, interviews, conference appearances, etc... are due to threats from the industry. If you want to work you'll publicize and normalize porn.

A Very high portion of the women come from childhoods filled with abuse, which is why they go into porn. They have no self esteem and are already used to the abuse that goes on behind the scenes, or even on screen.
They're also almost all drug addicts, especially the women. If they weren't one before entering they become one to cope with the misery of their jobs.

Also not all enter voluntarily. Some are forced, blackmailed or other forms of coercion.
Of those who are married there is a high likelihood abuse goes on there as well.
Times are changing. I’m not saying that porn “actors” are mentally healthy but I don’t think you can label them all as drug addicts and victims of sex abuse anymore. I would suggest there may be more father abandonment issues. Girls in general are more promiscuous. Sleeping with every boyfriend and casual sex is more accepted. Look at the increase of hook up sites. More girls are willing to try crazy stuff. Are they coerced? Possibly, but I don’t think there is that taboo as much in the mainstream. There more acceptance and less shame. Obviously the church is still firm on its stance but let’s be real. The dudes at church are watching more porn than ever.
 
Jun 22, 2020
1,231
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Australia
#85
Ok, full disclaimer, I'm married. But I saw this post on my FB feed and it's getting a lot of feedback. So here is the article,


https://thefederalist.com/2021/05/0...der-a-husband-like-you-can-a-starbucks-drink/

Now when I was single I spent a lot of years traveling and really didn't think about everything I wanted in a man, other than being a Christian. It was a back burner thing for me. But within this article is a link to an article another woman posted "Single Ladies List." Now from the perspective of a married lady I had a chuckle that this. And I thought it's no wonder men are so confused about what women want, I think they are confused themselves. The list is huge, but I want to try and post some and start a discussion, for both sides, about expectations in marriage. I look forward to seeing the answers. Here we go...


Boo must be:


1. -Expressive of love and devotion and affirmation of me

2. -Emotionally expressive, romantic, demonstrative in gifts and gestures

3. -Fun to be around

4.-Confident but not arrogant or cocky or unhealthily charming/too flirtatious

5. -Not afraid to pursue me, or if he is, he still does diligently

6. -Quirky, non-boring sense of humor

7. -Present, not distracted

8. -Easy to be around

9. -Curiosity about me, to study and know and understand and best love me, an interest in where I’ve come from and what makes me me

10. -Unafraid to affirm and show affection

11. -Great listener

12. -Is clear about his priority of me

13. -Sensitive and aware

14. -Not an approval addict , -Not an attention addict

15. -Notices and pays attention to little things: dates, anniversaries, details, places that are significant to us and me and him

16. -Values my words and contributions to conversation

17.-Pays attention to me when with friends, wants to serve and be near

18.-Sentimental and soft-hearted

19.-Rugged and appreciates nature and beauty

20.-Writes notes and communicates love regularly

21. -Whimsical and cares about living a great story together

22, -Loves children, old people, friends, family, lingering

23. -Regularly shows me affection in various ways and reminds me he’s thinking of me

24. -Supportive always, even in disagreement

25. -Cares deeply about my wounds

26. -Nurtures, loves and promotes my voice literally and figuratively

27. -Recognizes and respects my physical limitations with great love and sympathy

28.-Cares about and prioritizes and sacrifices for my needs

29. --Cares about my experiences with romance, loss, sense of curse, feelings of worthlessness, knows and tends to wounds

30. -Hunger to understand my background influences and experiences

31. -Not patriarchal

32. -Great with money

33. -Willing/adventurous eater -Loves exploring -Loves eating out, enjoys little luxuries -Plans vacations and trips with and for me

34. -Loves to cook with me and for me



Ok, this even all her list, but these are some of the interesting things she posted. I'd like to hear your opinions on this.
This is what you see on Tinder profiles and such...
Women with long lists of things they want from a man...
And men with lists of things they have...

80% of women are demanding a man who is 6 foot but 80% are shorter than 6 foot
Rarely do we see a woman bringing something to the relationship in these profiles

And so i wonder to myself, if a woman is so fussy with so many little things what is she really going to be like when we get to know one another.

If she hasn't even thought about having to sacrifice anything for a relationship than she is a typical pre-Madonna that will only cause pain. Its all "me me me". "I deserve A, B and C"... Why do u deserve more than anyone else?

It can be the princess syndrome... A girls daddy spoils her when she is a girl.
"daddy i want this" And its done. "daddy i want that" And its done
When she grows up thats what she then expects from a man
"i want this" "i want that"

It can be the feminist indoctrination at school

Either way it matters little now... The collapse of the west is upon us and like with past civilizations there has been many similarities. The rise of feminism, the deviation of sexual roles, the destruction of moral values, the abandonment of God
 

Adstar

Senior Member
Jul 24, 2016
7,585
3,616
113
#86
what? nobody BUYS a cat lol

cats just go to whoever they want to live with.
Thats true i have found in my case.. Most of the cats that have been in my family home during my life have just walked in one day and said this place looks ok time to fill the vacancy.. We did get one from the animal pond once for free.. But thats the only one we went out to get..
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#87
its a bit weird how theres these stereotypes about single women and cats but nobody seems to mention the counterpart, bachelor men and their dogs.

Of course when you put them together the odds are they may not get along, but Im sure there must be some cat and dog friendships that do work out.

I recall going to visit this co housing community and they had all thse rules about how many pets you could have and how the community had to vote whether you could have a pet or not. Im sure the pets themselves had no idea that this was going on for their potential home. It sounded like something off survivor reality tv.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#88
the princess syndrome... another name for...
Verruca Salt

Remember her?

Not only did she have a huge long list of WANTS but she wanted it NOW.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#89
I am so tempted to blame the dad for enabling the brat
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#90
Times are changing. I’m not saying that porn “actors” are mentally healthy but I don’t think you can label them all as drug addicts and victims of sex abuse anymore. I would suggest there may be more father abandonment issues. Girls in general are more promiscuous. Sleeping with every boyfriend and casual sex is more accepted. Look at the increase of hook up sites. More girls are willing to try crazy stuff. Are they coerced? Possibly, but I don’t think there is that taboo as much in the mainstream. There more acceptance and less shame. Obviously the church is still firm on its stance but let’s be real. The dudes at church are watching more porn than ever.
nobodys labelling them they themselves are speaking out about the abuse.

whats shocking is sexual ABUSE is accepted. even though its always happened people still accept it as normal.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,418
9,406
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#91
its a bit weird how theres these stereotypes about single women and cats but nobody seems to mention the counterpart, bachelor men and their dogs.

Of course when you put them together the odds are they may not get along, but Im sure there must be some cat and dog friendships that do work out.
Dogs? Bachelor men and their dogs? I'm more a cat person, myself. Cats are much more dignified and sensible, and you don't have to get up at 3am if they happen to need to pee.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#92
i rember talking to a girl (my age, and she was catholic) about how this principal was caught with porn on his computer, and she said too bad he got caught. UNBELIEVABLE
I was like what?! You accept this? . You dont realise how this affects all the children in his care in that school? You dont think its actually WRONG?
 
L

Live4Him

Guest
#93
Also, a question for men, what type of expectations (if any) should women have of men's appearance, jobs/income, or education?
I don't know, but I suspect that JESUS wouldn't meet the expectations of most women.

Appearance

"For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him." (Isaiah 53:2)

Jobs/Income

"And he said unto them, How is it that ye sought me? wist ye not that I must be about my Father's business?" (Luke 2:49)

"And it came to pass afterward, that he went throughout every city and village, preaching and shewing the glad tidings of the kingdom of God: and the twelve were with him, And certain women, which had been healed of evil spirits and infirmities, Mary called Magdalene, out of whom went seven devils, And Joanna the wife of Chuza Herod's steward, and Susanna, and many others, which ministered unto him of their substance." (Luke 8:1-3)

Education

"And the Jews marvelled, saying, How knoweth this man letters, having never learned?" (John 7:15)
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#94
Absolutely, I agree with this
its a bit weird how theres these stereotypes about single women and cats but nobody seems to mention the counterpart, bachelor men and their dogs.

Of course when you put them together the odds are they may not get along, but Im sure there must be some cat and dog friendships that do work out.

I recall going to visit this co housing community and they had all thse rules about how many pets you could have and how the community had to vote whether you could have a pet or not. Im sure the pets themselves had no idea that this was going on for their potential home. It sounded like something off survivor reality tv.
My hubby had a cat before we got married. Never had a cat in my life. We got along though but the cat died just before we got married. Now we have my little white dog and I talked him into getting a German Shepard. lol Wow has she tested my patience, been a long journey, I didn't think hubby was gonna make it there for a while. But she has a loveable face so no matter how naughty she's being it's hard to be man at her for long.
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#95
Dogs? Bachelor men and their dogs? I'm more a cat person, myself. Cats are much more dignified and sensible, and you don't have to get up at 3am if they happen to need to pee.
Lol you'd love my German Shepard, never seen a dog that could hold on longer than she can. If she's somewhere she doesn't like she'll just continue to hold. smh I've told her at times I was gonna squeeze it out of her. I've discovered we're both stubborn. She's tried my patience like no human ever has. But we've come out alright in the end, she's a pretty good girl now.
 
Nov 26, 2012
3,095
1,050
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#96
nobodys labelling them they themselves are speaking out about the abuse.

whats shocking is sexual ABUSE is accepted. even though its always happened people still accept it as normal.
I’m curious, what do you consider abuse? There is such a broad range. What I might consider abuse, someone might consider foreplay. All I know is that if I ever came face to face with a child molester or human trafficker, I would have no problem enforcing a permanent solution so they couldn’t hurt anyone again.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,418
9,406
113
#98
Shipping and handling got too expensive I guess. :whistle:
 

GiveThanks

God Will Make A Way
Dec 6, 2020
429
347
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#99
Her list seems repetitive. And it seems that she has a need for a partner who can constantly give her affirmation. She must have terribly low self esteem.

She says she doesnt want an approval addict. But its clear she herself is addicted to approval.

And she wants somone to show her great love and sympathy, and who "Cares about my experiences with romance, loss, sense of curse, feelings of worthlessness, knows and tends to wounds"

This woman needs psychological intervention, not a husband.
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
4,061
3,175
113
Porn is already normalized nowadays in X-rated movies/shows, so it would be impossible to find watching 18+ porn illegal. I watched a very popular drama series awhile ago, about corruption in the 1920s Atlantic City area, and there is a lot of nudity and porn (without the closeups) in that series. I also watched this drama series about brothels in 1700s London, a lot of nudity/porn there too. Even popular movies, such as Fast Times, American Pie, Fifty Shades are shown on cable TV and have porn in those movies.
Porn is banned in some countries, actually. Though I'm not sure if it is illegal anywhere. Probably somewhere.
Times are changing. I’m not saying that porn “actors” are mentally healthy but I don’t think you can label them all as drug addicts and victims of sex abuse anymore. I would suggest there may be more father abandonment issues. Girls in general are more promiscuous. Sleeping with every boyfriend and casual sex is more accepted. Look at the increase of hook up sites. More girls are willing to try crazy stuff. Are they coerced? Possibly, but I don’t think there is that taboo as much in the mainstream. There more acceptance and less shame. Obviously the church is still firm on its stance but let’s be real. The dudes at church are watching more porn than ever.
I'm not just randomly labeling based off of opinion or old ideas. These are the statements made my former porn stars of today's current era of porn. Both former actors and producers, men and women, discuss the issues of former abuse and current addiction.
Many, especially the women, don't become addicts Until they enter porn, as a way to cope with the abuse they deal with on shoots.
Being forced to do things on their "don't do" list, or to perform with people listed that they won't perform with. Vomiting or bleeding are not grounds for even pausing filming. If you quit filming for such reasons you are threatened with withholding pay for work already done and being kicked out of the industry. That doesn't sound like promiscuous women to me.
Also injuries are common during filming due to the increasingly rough nature of what's being done, whether by consent or not.

Stories and even lawsuits are quite common now of young girls tricked into modeling jobs that turn into porn shoots or even filmed rape. Girls Gone Wild got slammed for their practices, even in court. The largest porn site in the world recently underwent more lawsuits and accusations of hosting known rape videos (and other things illegal). There are multiple stories of the women in videos found on their site, including underage, that contacted the site to have their illegal content removed and were ignored or they dragged their heels. Often requiring a threat of legal action before making the efforts to remove anything.
This has nothing to do with the promiscuity of women today. All that does is increase the pool of victims to choose from.

Try looking up the facts about the industry today. It's much more horrifying than people realize.