Hey Everyone,
I work with a guy who recently declared that he was only interested in dating women in the 110-lb. range... Now, I know that's probably going to generate some pretty strong feelings, but I do have to say that he's one of the nicest guys I work with, and yes, I was a bit shocked to hear that (someone else had said that he'd said that--I don't like gossip, so when I hear something questionable, I ask the person directly.)
When I asked him about it (and teased him mercilessly with things such as, "What if she's 112.5 pounds... would that be too fat?" and, "Do you even know what a 110-lb. woman looks like?"), he said that he didn't state what he'd meant very well, and that a better way to word it was to say that he looks for women who are fit and take care of themselves.
OF COURSE, I believe that people come in, and are beautiful in, ALL shapes and sizes. BUT, I was also wondering what you all think--if you're someone who's heavier or not in shape, is it unrealistic, unfair, and even un-Christian (hypocritical) to desire a boyfriend/girlfriend who is thin and fit?
Two women I work with who are wonderful people and also self-admittedly challenged by their own personal fitness goals told me that they think it was totally shallow for this guy to say that he preferred such tiny women... but yet, they also said, that while they are bigger girls (around 180-220 lbs), they prefer to date only skinny men (both have very thin boyfriends.) I found that kind of... interesting...
I myself was raised in a family where the women are naturally 85-120 pounds, even after two kids, and these women never miss a meal and have no eating disorders. No matter how small you are... being a size 6-8 and standing next to sizes 0-2 makes a person look huge... and generates comments such as, "Hey there, Chubby..." so I can very much relate to people who see themselves as heavy. On various doctor's orders (due to health concerns), I'm actually in the process of trying to lose 20 pounds (and they said 30 would be better), which felt a bit shocking to me, but... so far, 5 pounds down... and it's a long, excruciating process, I know. I am a natural cheeseburger-and-fry girl so having to eat... gulp... salads... (grass clippings... GRR!! I am not a rabbit!! But, I have to eat like one!!) is one of the biggest tortures known to womankind, in my opinion. But I do it because God wants me to take care of my health. (I personally feel this is one of the ways we take up our cross and die to our flesh everyday.)
So, I'm no skinny minnie by any means... BUT, I have to admit that I would like to find a guy who takes care of himself and is into regular fitness as a lifestyle--why? Because if I find someone who eats fast food on a daily basis and sits on the couch with a bag of chips, I'll be right there with him in about 2 seconds, and I've worked so hard that this is NOT where I want to be headed as far as my lifestyle. I was raised in a very health-conscious household and would like to get back to the original values I strayed from after getting out on my own (with the ability to buy ice cream whenever I wanted!)
BUT, seeing as I have my own weight/health struggles... does this seem unrealistic? Unfair? Hypocritical? (Notice, this is not a hard-and-fast rule... my first boyfriend was probably 30 pounds overweight, but... it seems like many of the guys in my age category now are often 50+ pounds overweight... which I'm hoping to steer away from.) I'm NOT looking for a "reason" to stay healthy or for someone to change me--I'm looking for someone who lives the same way and will help me meet my goals because he is already meeting his own. (I personally believe that lifestyle habits in the way of health can be a huge area of equal/unequal yoking.)
What about all of you? Do you have a preference for someone who may have different health and lifestyle habits than your own? And... does this seem shallow... or practical... and why?
P.S. The attached poll is anonymous--no on will know what you answered... so feel free to give your honest, heartfelt opinions.
I work with a guy who recently declared that he was only interested in dating women in the 110-lb. range... Now, I know that's probably going to generate some pretty strong feelings, but I do have to say that he's one of the nicest guys I work with, and yes, I was a bit shocked to hear that (someone else had said that he'd said that--I don't like gossip, so when I hear something questionable, I ask the person directly.)
When I asked him about it (and teased him mercilessly with things such as, "What if she's 112.5 pounds... would that be too fat?" and, "Do you even know what a 110-lb. woman looks like?"), he said that he didn't state what he'd meant very well, and that a better way to word it was to say that he looks for women who are fit and take care of themselves.
OF COURSE, I believe that people come in, and are beautiful in, ALL shapes and sizes. BUT, I was also wondering what you all think--if you're someone who's heavier or not in shape, is it unrealistic, unfair, and even un-Christian (hypocritical) to desire a boyfriend/girlfriend who is thin and fit?
Two women I work with who are wonderful people and also self-admittedly challenged by their own personal fitness goals told me that they think it was totally shallow for this guy to say that he preferred such tiny women... but yet, they also said, that while they are bigger girls (around 180-220 lbs), they prefer to date only skinny men (both have very thin boyfriends.) I found that kind of... interesting...
I myself was raised in a family where the women are naturally 85-120 pounds, even after two kids, and these women never miss a meal and have no eating disorders. No matter how small you are... being a size 6-8 and standing next to sizes 0-2 makes a person look huge... and generates comments such as, "Hey there, Chubby..." so I can very much relate to people who see themselves as heavy. On various doctor's orders (due to health concerns), I'm actually in the process of trying to lose 20 pounds (and they said 30 would be better), which felt a bit shocking to me, but... so far, 5 pounds down... and it's a long, excruciating process, I know. I am a natural cheeseburger-and-fry girl so having to eat... gulp... salads... (grass clippings... GRR!! I am not a rabbit!! But, I have to eat like one!!) is one of the biggest tortures known to womankind, in my opinion. But I do it because God wants me to take care of my health. (I personally feel this is one of the ways we take up our cross and die to our flesh everyday.)
So, I'm no skinny minnie by any means... BUT, I have to admit that I would like to find a guy who takes care of himself and is into regular fitness as a lifestyle--why? Because if I find someone who eats fast food on a daily basis and sits on the couch with a bag of chips, I'll be right there with him in about 2 seconds, and I've worked so hard that this is NOT where I want to be headed as far as my lifestyle. I was raised in a very health-conscious household and would like to get back to the original values I strayed from after getting out on my own (with the ability to buy ice cream whenever I wanted!)
BUT, seeing as I have my own weight/health struggles... does this seem unrealistic? Unfair? Hypocritical? (Notice, this is not a hard-and-fast rule... my first boyfriend was probably 30 pounds overweight, but... it seems like many of the guys in my age category now are often 50+ pounds overweight... which I'm hoping to steer away from.) I'm NOT looking for a "reason" to stay healthy or for someone to change me--I'm looking for someone who lives the same way and will help me meet my goals because he is already meeting his own. (I personally believe that lifestyle habits in the way of health can be a huge area of equal/unequal yoking.)
What about all of you? Do you have a preference for someone who may have different health and lifestyle habits than your own? And... does this seem shallow... or practical... and why?
P.S. The attached poll is anonymous--no on will know what you answered... so feel free to give your honest, heartfelt opinions.
That would be incredibly unhealthy otherwise. We have young women all over the planet with eating disorders and all manner of unhealthiness because of such things. Very, very sad...
