I got in a lot of trouble for asking too many questions. I think I felt the same way about church. I went because I had to go. But I would ask a million questions. Things didn't make sense and things were not fair. Not when I saw so much wealth and my family helped so many other families in our church. We were poor, but didn't go without things we needed. I just didn't understand why why why??? So, when I was in 2nd grade, at church (I attended catholic school) I told God I wanted to know Him. I knew in my heart that He was real, but I just needed to find Him. I read lots of books and asked lots of questions and found out that He really is not a 'mystery' and He does want a personal relationship with me. So back to those encyclopedias, a family gave them to my family and I loved going through every single one. Weird fact: one day one of my 6 brothers was making me crazy and teasing me from across the room. I threw one of the encyclopedias at him, it hit him between the legs and he still gives me a hard time about it!