Why am I having so much of a problem getting a good Christian girlfriend?
- Thread starter dothackzero
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L
1) Despite the fact that I am computer retarded, I have quite the crush on a computer geek, BECAUSE he is a computer geek (well partially. It's more the intelligence factor than the computer geekiness itself. I like me a smart man). And what's wrong with liking anime? It's just a fascination.
2) My mom says all men are horny toads, so I don't see how one man admitting to having a perverted mind would dissuade a girl from liking him. Most guys have perverted minds. They just aren't willing to admit it. Sure, God can work in a man in such a way to take the pervertedness away, but really? How many 20 year olds do you know that are so far in their walk with Christ that they are at a point in their life where God can just wipe away unGodly personality traits? I'm almost 20 and I'm sure not at that stage yet.
To the original poster(sorry, didn't look at your username) you're 20! Stop freaking out, brah. You've got plenty years left to find you a woman. Don't rush things, because that will most likely just lead to mistakes. And have you prayed to ask God if He even intends you to get married? Also, why pray for a girlfriend? Why not pray for a spouse? or better yet, why not pray FOR your future spouse(if God intends you to get married)?
2) My mom says all men are horny toads, so I don't see how one man admitting to having a perverted mind would dissuade a girl from liking him. Most guys have perverted minds. They just aren't willing to admit it. Sure, God can work in a man in such a way to take the pervertedness away, but really? How many 20 year olds do you know that are so far in their walk with Christ that they are at a point in their life where God can just wipe away unGodly personality traits? I'm almost 20 and I'm sure not at that stage yet.
To the original poster(sorry, didn't look at your username) you're 20! Stop freaking out, brah. You've got plenty years left to find you a woman. Don't rush things, because that will most likely just lead to mistakes. And have you prayed to ask God if He even intends you to get married? Also, why pray for a girlfriend? Why not pray for a spouse? or better yet, why not pray FOR your future spouse(if God intends you to get married)?
M
I shouldn`t necessarily be one to talk, cuz I`ve been looking for the right kind of love in the wrong kinda men, but it`s refreshing to hear guys out there ACTUALLY saving themselves for marriage - its really annoying getting dropped jaws when people find that out about me - but my darlin dothackzero, there are a kagillion amounts of people out there, and Im just starting to realize that. And the amount of people we`re still going to meet in our lifetime! I have friend`s who fell in love in their late 20s! Family that got married in their 30s! and im sure they went through the exact same feelings we are, needing reassurance that someone actually IS out there and waiting for us too! The fact that you`re waiting patiently for the most part, will make that right woman ecstatic! She`ll love that you havent kissed anyone else, havent done anything else..
Something you need to know though is that anything spoken is from the heart - even if you may not know it.
would the type of girl youre looking for actually find your perverted jokes appealing, or funny for that matter! mmmprobably not.
and for the things you listed off, they shouldnt affect you. You cant look to a girl to solve your esteem or social issues. That is something you and God
alone can fix together - noone else. to put that unconscious pressure on a girl will frighten her away.
other than that - youve got my little 2 cents, she`s out there - keep praying for her, and pray for your own healing that you`ll be ready for when the time comes to meet her.. cuz it could be tomorrow, next year, or in 10 years.... only in His time!
Something you need to know though is that anything spoken is from the heart - even if you may not know it.
would the type of girl youre looking for actually find your perverted jokes appealing, or funny for that matter! mmmprobably not.
and for the things you listed off, they shouldnt affect you. You cant look to a girl to solve your esteem or social issues. That is something you and God
alone can fix together - noone else. to put that unconscious pressure on a girl will frighten her away.
other than that - youve got my little 2 cents, she`s out there - keep praying for her, and pray for your own healing that you`ll be ready for when the time comes to meet her.. cuz it could be tomorrow, next year, or in 10 years.... only in His time!
Although I'm not OCD and not shy, I am 21, single my whole life and well alot of the things you said about yourself. Dude, I love anime and manga(this weeks was awesome). We should chat about it sometime.
Anyhoo, with saying that, I can say I partially feel the position that you are in. However, I've learned some things over the year. For one how can you say you have low self confidence when you have talents as you do? You just said it yourself, you're smart, go with that!! It's a shame you don't think that your friends love you or consider you a real friend. I know this for sure...love and be loved! Love your neighbor as yourself and God will give you real friends because love is contagious and once you are able to love others as you do yourself, you'll definantly be mature enough to love another girl in a relationship in a proper and mature way. Also, perhaps the girl God has waiting for you is also having to mature. Hope some of that helps!
Take care dude!
Anyhoo, with saying that, I can say I partially feel the position that you are in. However, I've learned some things over the year. For one how can you say you have low self confidence when you have talents as you do? You just said it yourself, you're smart, go with that!! It's a shame you don't think that your friends love you or consider you a real friend. I know this for sure...love and be loved! Love your neighbor as yourself and God will give you real friends because love is contagious and once you are able to love others as you do yourself, you'll definantly be mature enough to love another girl in a relationship in a proper and mature way. Also, perhaps the girl God has waiting for you is also having to mature. Hope some of that helps!
Take care dude!
G
hey...i totally know how you feel...but from the other side...
i am 19 years old
ive never held a guys hand ive never been kissed ive never had a boyfriend...
i feel almost like God has forgotten about little me down here....
but I know that you and I both will find someone when the time is right...I know you must be sick of hearing that...ME TOO i promise...
but I do believe that....i hope this helps... have a great day...
i am 19 years old
ive never held a guys hand ive never been kissed ive never had a boyfriend...
i feel almost like God has forgotten about little me down here....
but I know that you and I both will find someone when the time is right...I know you must be sick of hearing that...ME TOO i promise...
but I do believe that....i hope this helps... have a great day...
Think of it like this....putting God 1st isn't a means to an end, it's the end and everything else in life will fall into place naturally. Does that make sense? In other words, if you put God first and live as you should and God will put the right things into your life without ya even knowing it ^_^
L
I have not read all of the answers to your post, so I don't know if I am repeating anything here that has already been said . . . if so, I'm sorry to be a broken record.
To begin, I'd like to say that when we are seeking friendships, relationships, etc., we cannot simply sit and wait for them to appear. If everyone were to do that, no one would step out and be proactive and begin, because we would all be sitting around waiting for others to come to us. In order to develop a relationship, at any level, one must get out and hang around the type of person that he or she wants to have for a friend or girlfriend/boyfriend. That means finding out what interests other people have, and developing some interests that can be shared with another person. It also means examining oneself to see what one has to offer another person . . . not outwardly, buy inwardly.
Also, James 4 says that we do not have because we do not ask God and when we ask, we do not receive because we ask with the wrong motives. The next question is to find out the motive behind your request. Is it to develop a relationship that honors God, lifts up each other, and is a witness to others, or is it simply to rid yourself of loneliness? There are other ways to cure loneliness that do not involve anyone from the opposite gender.
I am praying for you, Dothackzero, not for a girlfriend but for God to work in your life to bring you fulfillment, wholeness and completeness in Him. Until you are whole (which basically means completely healthy) in Christ, I don't believe you will be able to have a healthy relationship with a woman. Remember what Jesus said in Matthew 6, seek first the kingdom of God and all these other things will be added to you.
God bless you as you seek Him first and with your whole heart.
To begin, I'd like to say that when we are seeking friendships, relationships, etc., we cannot simply sit and wait for them to appear. If everyone were to do that, no one would step out and be proactive and begin, because we would all be sitting around waiting for others to come to us. In order to develop a relationship, at any level, one must get out and hang around the type of person that he or she wants to have for a friend or girlfriend/boyfriend. That means finding out what interests other people have, and developing some interests that can be shared with another person. It also means examining oneself to see what one has to offer another person . . . not outwardly, buy inwardly.
Also, James 4 says that we do not have because we do not ask God and when we ask, we do not receive because we ask with the wrong motives. The next question is to find out the motive behind your request. Is it to develop a relationship that honors God, lifts up each other, and is a witness to others, or is it simply to rid yourself of loneliness? There are other ways to cure loneliness that do not involve anyone from the opposite gender.
I am praying for you, Dothackzero, not for a girlfriend but for God to work in your life to bring you fulfillment, wholeness and completeness in Him. Until you are whole (which basically means completely healthy) in Christ, I don't believe you will be able to have a healthy relationship with a woman. Remember what Jesus said in Matthew 6, seek first the kingdom of God and all these other things will be added to you.
God bless you as you seek Him first and with your whole heart.
L
Well said, lil-rush. This goes along with the "seeking God first" in Matthew 6 that I mentioned in my previous post.
-Lynn
P.S. Neither my husband nor I were looking for a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, let alone a spouse, when we met. We were both focusing on God and celebrating and enjoying our singleness. Then God blessed us when we weren't even looking, we became good friends, then we started dating, and last week we celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary. All in God's timing.
Keep your eyes focused on the Lord, Dothackzero, and He will do wonderful things in your life, all in His time, and all acccording to His plan.
I'm not just sitting around and waiting. I'm trying to make more friends, but I'm not that good with making friends thanks to my shyness. >_<
[/quote]Also, James 4 says that we do not have because we do not ask God and when we ask, we do not receive because we ask with the wrong motives. The next question is to find out the motive behind your request. Is it to develop a relationship that honors God, lifts up each other, and is a witness to others, or is it simply to rid yourself of loneliness? There are other ways to cure loneliness that do not involve anyone from the opposite gender.[/quote]
Well, It's not just to fix my lonelyness. I mean Jesus would be the center of the relationship.
thanks, and the hard for me to trying to know God better, and love him more.
[/quote]Also, James 4 says that we do not have because we do not ask God and when we ask, we do not receive because we ask with the wrong motives. The next question is to find out the motive behind your request. Is it to develop a relationship that honors God, lifts up each other, and is a witness to others, or is it simply to rid yourself of loneliness? There are other ways to cure loneliness that do not involve anyone from the opposite gender.[/quote]
Well, It's not just to fix my lonelyness. I mean Jesus would be the center of the relationship.
thanks, and the hard for me to trying to know God better, and love him more.
If you radiate confidence that is truly in your heart, that will make a world of difference, even with Christian women. If you don't possess a lot of confidence, you can achieve a greater level of it by continually interacting with both men and women on a regular basis. Watch and listen for the reactions of people based on what you and others say: Do they look happy? then continue that topic, Do they look offended? drop it, right then. Eventually, you won't have to worry about saying something inapporpriate (although we all inadvertantly say something wrong at times). Keep having conversations with friends, new and old, on a regular basis, and make sure that you have worthwhile friends, too. Do you want a woman with truly Christian values, make sure you have yeilded to God's will in your life for the values He wants you to have, otherwise you will not be appealing to a truly Godly woman. Yes, there are women at church who just go there for the sake of going, and have not really given themselves to God, but is that the type of woman that you want? God is preparing you, and has promised to give you the desires of your heart, but only He knows what things are good for you, and at what time in your life, too. I married at 27, and I now know that I would not have been ready for it when I was younger; God was right and I was wrong! The wait was worth it, but I also made the most of being single during my single years. Keep your talents going (this is extremely important, too), stay involved with Christian friends who are uplifting to you, and keep praying about it, no matter what. I will give you a blessing that someone once gave to me: May God's most abundant blessings be upon you.