138 Dates

[Lanolin]

Since 'dating' is such a hot topic on the Singles forum I decided to start yet ANOTHER thread on it because everyone loves talking about it so much( though some of us never actually do it)

Its because theres a new book out I saw at the bookshop called 138 Dates. I have a reading copy so I thought I would take it home to read and then post what I thought about it,
You might have read it too, well if so, we can be reading buddies.

The book is about a 35 year old Australian woman who decides to stop focusing on her career so much and terrified of not having a family of her own, does the cliched thing and decides she will focus all her energy on hooking a man. And so she goes on 138 dates. Is that like 3 dates every week? I dont know.

I dont know if she goes out with a different guy each time I havent started reading it yet....

anyway. thoughts...are you judging her already? Do you think it will end well? Or disaster waiting to happen? Is she trying to be a Carrie Bradshaw of Australia?
Anyone ever nauseated by those fake australian bachelorette tv dating shows might understand the trepidation I have on embarking on reading this book....will she paint all men as useless for ignoring her up to this point or will she obesss over her looks or clothing?

 

[Lynx]

anyway. thoughts...are you judging her already? Do you think it will end well? Or disaster waiting to happen? Is she trying to be a Carrie Bradshaw of Australia?

No idea, but I admire her energy. I have never had the energy for ONE date yet.

 

[tourist]

anyway. thoughts...are you judging her already? Do you think it will end well? Or disaster waiting to happen? Is she trying to be a Carrie Bradshaw of Australia?

My thoughts are that she does not know what she really wants regarding her personal life, and relationships in particular. I don't believe though that it is a disaster waiting to happen. Hopefully, she will learn something useful, otherwise it will be an exercise in futility. I am sure that I will not read that book but did enjoy the movie 'Fifty First Dates' which did end on a happy note of sorts.

 

[Lanolin]

My thoughts are that she does not know what she really wants regarding her personal life, and relationships in particular. I don't believe though that it is a disaster waiting to happen. Hopefully, she will learn something useful, otherwise it will be an exercise in futility. I am sure that I will not read that book but did enjoy the movie 'Fifty First Dates' which did end on a happy note of sorts.

Was that the Adam Sandler/Drew Barrymore movie? About a young woman with amnesia? That was pretty funny. I think was based on a true story.

138 dates is not fiction, its real life. I dont know if she is Christian though.
My first thought was...138 dates? where did she find the time (or money? )

Had you ever read or heard of this book, purportedly christian called...'I kissed Dating Goodbye'? I remember reading another chapter in different Christian book that was called 'I kissed dating hello'. lol

The other Christian one I remember reading had this title 'God writes your love story'. It was about this couple that dated, then stopped dating for a whole year then got married. I dont know why this was such a great love story as it didnt really have that much plot.....?!

I thought it would be more...I dont know, exciting, like the guy rescues the gal (or her whole town) from certain death perhaps.

 

[Lanolin]

The guy can only rescue the gal with Gods help of course. I mean if he did it all himself (like take initiative) that wouldnt be a God thing right?

 

[tourist]

Was that the Adam Sandler/Drew Barrymore movie? About a young woman with amnesia? That was pretty funny. I think was based on a true story.

138 dates is not fiction, its real life. I dont know if she is Christian though.
My first thought was...138 dates? where did she find the time (or money? )

Had you ever read or heard of this book, purportedly christian called...'I kissed Dating Goodbye'? I remember reading another chapter in different Christian book that was called 'I kissed dating hello'. lol

The other Christian one I remember reading had this title 'God writes your love story'. It was about this couple that dated, then stopped dating for a whole year then got married. I dont know why this was such a great love story as it didnt really have that much plot.....?!

I thought it would be more...I dont know, exciting, like the guy rescues the gal (or her whole town) from certain death perhaps.

Yeah, Adam Sandler / Drew Barrymore. 138 dates is excessive, why did she stop at that number? I haven't read any of the two dating books you have mentioned but, back in the day when I was single, I would've probably gone with the kissing dating hello rather than goodbye. My totality of dating experiences would be closer to 13.8 than to 138. Yes, Drew had amnesia. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise. Just kidding, don't know why I said that. I forget.

 

[Lanolin]

Yeah, Adam Sandler / Drew Barrymore. 138 dates is excessive, why did she stop at that number? I haven't read any of the two dating books you have mentioned but, back in the day when I was single, I would've probably gone with the kissing dating hello rather than goodbye. My totality of dating experiences would be closer to 13.8 than to 138. Yes, Drew had amnesia. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise. Just kidding, don't know why I said that. I forget.

I'll read it and let you know.
I am curious too...

Ive got some other books to read first but I dont think anyone here would interested in the one Im reading now. Its called Poenamo and it was about one of the founders of Auckland city. He wrote something interesting about the British christian missionaries converting (or trying to convert) the Maori people that I found fascinating. That might be another post but I'll probably put that under miscellaneous.

 

[tourist]

I'll read it and let you know.
I am curious too...

Ive got some other books to read first but I dont think anyone here would interested in the one Im reading now. Its called Poenamo and it was about one of the founders of Auckland city. He wrote something interesting about the British christian missionaries converting (or trying to convert) the Maori people that I found fascinating. That might be another post but I'll probably put that under miscellaneous.

You are most certainly well-read.

 

[Lanolin]

You are most certainly well-read.

yea, well, comes with the job!

Although I probably just read as much as other people watch tv so it might work out the same.

 

[tourist]

yea, well, comes with the job!

Although I probably just read as much as other people watch tv so it might work out the same.

You were wise to choose reading over watching mindless drivel on the telly.

 

[Mii]

I'm curious what it ends up being about...

Since every person is different and I personally focus on different attributes with different people it might be interesting to show off the diversity.

Perhaps how one day you might only have your personal appearance as a stressor and they aren't thinking about that at all and the whole thing comes across as awkward when it needn't have and another date where you didn't focus on your appearance overmuch and that becomes the topic of conversation.

How you came up with a complete list of generalizations that allowed you to predict with reasonable accuracy the proper "form" of dating and then date #121 is entirely atypical and you get frustrated because outliers cannot fit in with generalizations and yet they exist so how do you combat this problem?

A book about the twists and turns would be cool. I'd be interested in writing/blogging about it for fun but somehow I don't imagine females would be too hip on the idea. I guess if online dating, you could state that up front perhaps?

 

[Lanolin]

ok I finished the other book today so might start this one.

If you want to look it up its called 138 Dates The true story of one woman's search for everything by Rebekah Campbell.

on the back is blurb

What will it take to follow your dream?

On the outside, Rebekah Campbell has an enviable life. At thirty-five, she is founder of hot Sydney start-up Posse.com, she writes one of Australia's most popular blogs and she gives inspirational talks at conferences for female entrepeneurs.

But when she turns off the light each night, she is alone and terrified of the future. She knows that whats important to her isn't money or start-up glory or social media followers. She wants love. She wants a family.

And she is stuck. She hasn't been on a date in ten years. She's too embarassed to list herself on the internet and can't bear the risk of being rejected.

She decides to act. She will go on one date evey week for a year. She'll take the tactics she's learned building start-up companies and apply them to finding a man: strict targets, a repeatable process that she'll regularly evaluate and improve on, and relentless tenacity.

Her epic journey will take her on dates with 138 different men in Sydney, New York and San Francisco, while at the same time she faces the immense challenges of raising venture capital and launching a business.

She'll face exhaustion, humiliation and heartbreak; she'll meet some strange and dangerous characters. And she will strip herself of the ego and expectations that have been holding her back. She will not stop.

138 dates proves that the end is always worth the effort.

Great for fans of Everything I know about Love, Wild and Eat Pray Love.

 

[Lanolin]

my thoughts before starting page 1.

138 dates, one a week for a year? Wouldnt that make it 52 dates?

When she turns off the light, what, she doesnt go to sleep?? Where is the rest of her family like her parents, siblings etc. Did they die?

How does she get the dates if she's too embrassed to list herself on the internet? Doesnt she have a Linkedin profile esp since shes got a start up? She writes a blog but is too embrassed to list herself?

The epic journey sounds a bit Australian/American. I thought maybe she could stop over in at least Honolulu, Hawaii... but New York and San Franscio are like on opposite coasts. I guess she doesnt do the Rocky Mountains or Route 66.

Dangerous characters...of course! She cant bear the risk of being rejected but what about the risk of being scammed...?!

and the last sentence of stripping herself, well hopefully she doesnt do it literally....

Of the three books listed I've only read Eat Pray Love (was made into a movie starring Julia Roberts) but I wasnt that big a fan of it. I am thinking its another 'white privelige' book, but..will see.

 

[Lanolin]

Also its sounds a bit similar to a book Ive read before called The year of Yes.

 

[Lanolin]

OK do not read any further if you dont want spoilers. Because I am just responding to what Im reading here,

Am up to chapter 6.

!? She's now getting BOTOX. And its not cheap..
-
Also her teenage sweetheart/first love was killed in a car accident. Plus she's an only child.

And...most surprisingly shes a NZer! (Well actually Scots immigrant) She just works in Sydney.


She went on e-harmoney. She has a therapist, and her list of criteria for guys was (at first) 1. Smart 2. Tall and 3. Fun

Shades of 'eat pray love' she went to Bali.... alone.
She wants to be a mother (probably cos she was an only child) and was envious of her neighbours who had four children, a dog and a trampoline.

She also has random panic attacks, hence possibly why she cant sleep at night. She lives alone in her sydney apartment. Not sure why she doesnt flat with others...but doesnt seem like she has many other friends.

Not sure at this point why it says 138 dates maybe it took her longer than a year to find 'the right one'. Also, she did pray to God after her bf died, he actually was thinking of future with her but she kind of wasnt sure..so he went with someone else and then they were killed. The weird thing was she also asked for his spirit to inhabit her body.

Observation - dont drive on nz roads, you are risking your life! and yes, people often dont get over their first love. He was perfect according to her, but she didnt snap him up.
There seem to be no jobs in NZ (or high powered ones or opportunities to establish start ups) but not sure why she doesnt date any nz men after that. Also I have never heard of posse.com (its a fashion or shopping website)
e-harmoney huh? No never tried it but I suppose if you pay its private and its not just anybody on it. She told her therapist all about her dating venture but didnt tell her parents. Dont they have any advice for her?

 

[Lanolin]

huh. Now up to chapter 34

Shes dated all the men in Sydney and hadnt found anyone so shes moving on to New York.

Her parents are a bit strange...her mum and dad have got into nudism.
Her very first date seemed nice and even invited her to his church but she didnt go.

She got involved with a politician.
It seemed like she was born with money, its not said how she really got to be an entrepeneur, but she must have had some substantial capital to even start a business.

Zoom is mentioned here as one of those promising tech start ups.
So far she seems very insecure like 'will he like me, what do I say, how long do you wait' and also very methodical, apparently her personality type is INFJ which is very analytical like she has this funnel system (complete with diagram) for screening dates.

Kudos to her for perservering though. My experience of dating via online was its fun for a bit then gets boring. She didnt seem fazed going to the same bar to meet her men each time. I hate hate hate job interviews and Ive had enough of them so I dont see that dating is too much different, though I had fun getting to know different guys I just couldnt see (or fantasize as she was doing with one) myself with any of the ones I saw. And I think maybe you just KNOW when you meet that person.

same with house hunting possibly.

 

[tourist]

my thoughts before starting page 1.

138 dates, one a week for a year? Wouldnt that make it 52 dates?

She is either mathematically challenged or has no sense of time.

 

[tourist]

. He was perfect according to her, but she didnt snap him up.

I'm assuming that she didn't snap him 'cause he didn't say the same type of fish twice in the 153 Fish thread.

 

[Lanolin]

ok I have just finished the book

It took her longer than a year to find her partner. Nearly 3 years! Actually, I dont think she got married to the one. She had two children and they now live together but there is actually no mention of marriage at the end.


She switched to match.com in New York but then went back to Sydney and went on Tinder. But I have no idea why the blurb mentions San Francisco when she went to Maui in Hawaii.

The book isnt really funny (like Bridget Jones) although there are moments when shes obssessing with her outfits and what she wears and diet. she does name drops all these labels and tech start ups. But there is that ineveitable 'I will die alone chased by wolves' nightmare...and she DID keep a spreadsheet to keep track of all her dates.

she did reassess her criteria..a CARING man and also what SHE could offer him not what she could get from him. There was one creepy investor dude that made you feel sick reading about what a sleaze he was who propostioned her after spending $1800 on one date.

 

[Lanolin]

My thoughts...the moment she let go of her old bf - the one who died when she was 25 (shed been talking to him and believing his spirit was hanging round all this time) Mr Right came in her path.

So my takeaway is if you are still holding on to an old, dead relationship its time to let go. Forgive and release that person and what 'might have been'. and God will lead you to the whoever Hes got for you