Top Signs Someone is Lying About Who They Are (Online.)

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A Person is Probably Lying If:

  • The person gives you "their" number... and someone of the opposite gender answsers, or is on their a

    Votes: 7 24.1%

  • The person can only talk to you at very specific times... for questionable reasons.

    Votes: 9 31.0%

  • The person doesn't post entire pictures of him/herself.

    Votes: 9 31.0%

  • The person "disappears" and "comes back" sporadically... with little to no excuse.

    Votes: 8 27.6%

  • The person won't answer direct questions (about what they do for a living, etc.)

    Votes: 17 58.6%

  • The person refuses to talk on camera (this is debatable to me... I don't talk on camera either!)

    Votes: 4 13.8%

  • The person says they want to meet but always gives excuses when a meeting is actually set up.

    Votes: 11 37.9%

  • You make times to talk with that person... and they usually don't show up or make up an excuse.

    Votes: 4 13.8%

  • The person is constantly letting you down... but always asking for another chance and/or your forgiv

    Votes: 9 31.0%

  • Other--I have something to share in my post.

    Votes: 3 10.3%
  • Total voters
    29
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
20,593
10,408
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Hey Everyone,

I just realized I got away from the original question in my last thread (how to tell if someone is lying to you about who they are), so I wanted to post some circumstances that I have both heard and experienced. I would like to hear about what all my fellow CC'ers have gone through as well.

Do any of these situations sound familiar? Or, do you have other clues you'd like to share? Please post your thoughts!

I realize some people might think I'M a "poser" because, for instance, I'm probably one of maybe only 5 people left on the planet who isn't on Facebook, MSN, Yahoo, etc. (by choice--I was on there a few years ago and had some experiences I'd rather avoid, such as people who knew my ex-husband contacting me.) But, I can assure you, what you see is what you get, both good and bad!!

How about all of you? When can you tell someone is the real deal... and what, in your mind, raises red flags?
 
Well, there's always the underlying notion of anonymity that is an integral part of the internet. When you first get online, you're a fresh new person. It's like moving to a school or town where no one knows you. You can be anyone you want to be. Maybe there's a part of your past you want to forget and omit, or maybe there's a part of who you are now that you'd rather keep to yourself. When the slate is wiped clean, you are given this opportunity and it is a very human and overpowering temptation to create a different persona, or at the very least to change small details about your life.

For me, when I'm "surfing the web", I'm always aware of this fact, mainly because I myself have fallen for the temptation of this "clean slate" quite a number of times. Whether it was simple chatrooms or elaborate forums like this one.

Now, a lot of jokes have been spun around about this anonymous nature. From jokes about the non-existence of women on the internet to the cliche of "everyone is a 40 year old man in his mother's basement in star wars pajamas unless he gives picture proof" Hehe
For me, I can't say I've ever truly believed the entirety of anyone's claims to their "real life" in the real world except on few occasion where, after forming a friendship over time we connected on a random social networking site like Facebook, Twitter, or even the classic Xanga.


Now.. as for "Red Flags" I'd have to mention the only one that sticks out to me. Story or timeline contradictions.
If you have paid attention to the people you've been talking to long enough, you might notice errors in what they tell you. From small things like dates, times, or names being changed in different conversations over time; to giant gaps in their stories like entire memories they've shared being changed.
 
EXCELLENT point, JayDawg--I look for inconsistencies as well... though I have to admit that if I know a person well or want to like them, I find myself trying to excuse some of the little things I may notice... I don't want to be paranoid or jump the gun too quick... but you are absolutely right.

Thanks for sharing such a well-written and elegantly communicated post--wish I would have remembered to include it in my list of options... but that's part of what I'm hoping--that others will continue to share things I missed or forgot!
 
Haha ok this poll makes me uneasy because I do all those things but the first one and the last 4. I don't put full pictures of myself, I don't talk on camera, I'm sporadic as to when I'll be online, and I'll even take seasons off the forums for a while when things are busy and I can't keep up (hence why many of you don't know me, though I've been here so long). Hmmm.. am I real? ;)
 
Rissa77 said:
Haha ok this poll makes me uneasy because I do all those things but the first one and the last 4. I don't put full pictures of myself, I don't talk on camera, I'm sporadic as to when I'll be online, and I'll even take seasons off the forums for a while when things are busy and I can't keep up (hence why many of you don't know me, though I've been here so long). Hmmm.. am I real? ;)
Click to expand...


LOL!!! Ok, I admit, Rissa--my poll is OBVIOUSLY incomplete and not very accurate in some cases... BUT... everyone, please feel free to share your own thoughts, experiences, and warning signs...

Maybe all of you can express them much better than what I tried to do!

P.S. My vote goes to, "Yes, Rissa is a real person, and a very wonderful one at that." ;)
 
Seoul: I think you wrote out a lot more than could apply in the other thread you made as well, but I'll see if I can't think of any fun ones to mention.


Also, If it ever comes into question, I can always back up Rissa's claim to realdom. Lol :D *inside joke*
 
jaydawg888 said:
Well, there's always the underlying notion of anonymity that is an integral part of the internet. You can be anyone you want to be.

Now.. as for "Red Flags" I'd have to mention the only one that sticks out to me. Story or timeline contradictions.
If you have paid attention to the people you've been talking to long enough, you might notice errors in what they tell you. From small things like dates, times, or names being changed in different conversations over time; to giant gaps in their stories like entire memories they've shared being changed.
Click to expand...

This is great advice--I think it's safe to say that you can never FULLY trust the internet persona to be "what you see is what you get".

CAUTION is the word.
 
Some top signs for me are:

-They make mistakes on the hour according of where they tell they live
-They doubt in the weather of where they tell they live
-If you ask about whats happening on the news and they are lieing they dont know what to say
-They avoid to talk of what they did in the day (maybe they are hiding a wife)
-They tell one thing and after months they say the contrary
 
***has no time to read all of this thread, but wants to tag it so she can find it easier later when she does have time!!!***
 
lol good idea Nana.

I'm the same in person as I am online. Maybe a little more sarcastic online, but pretty much the same. :p
 
I would say I've met 50-70% of the people I know in my life from 10 years on starting from online.

I don't think I've ever ran across anyone that didn't come through in person like they did on the internet. Maybe because of the field I am in, maybe because I am lucky.

I am sorry that other people have had bad experiences. It gives the whole "internet ax murder" urban legend fuel.
 
Hmm.

I saw something very interesting on tv. It was some political show. And someone wrote that if a person hesitates to respond, it is either because they don't want someone to know the truth, or they don't know what they are talking about.

I considered it, and I felt like a liar.
 
-Inconsistencies. Pay attention. Write down things if you have to and you're suspicious of someone. Cleverly bring them up later to see if the answer is the same.

-You check their IP address and they aren't from where they say they are. To clarify, I am not suggesting you hack anyone's computer. That is illegal. IP addresses can readily be seen in certain places, then ran through IP checkers. Free, legal. Of course they could be using a proxy to hide their true location..if they are really computer savvy. Then you can't bust them on that one.

-If you google them or their email address and find interesting information elsewhere online. I have done that. I have busted people trying to deceive me that way.


I don't think someone not sharing personal info, etc. should be a sign that they are not who they say they are necessarily. It can be, but certainly not always.
It's just smart to not share a lot of personal info with someone you don't truly know and trust, especially if you're female.
I'm a guy and I'm careful about what I share and who with...so I have been called mysterious before.

I'm so much cooler online. :D

*thinking of that Brad Paisley song "Online"* ha.
 
I found out a guy was lying to me by looking him up on Facebook
 
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