Do you think love is a feeling or a decision?

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L

Live4Him2

Guest
#21
Ultimately we know that love is what will exist and what will remain because as we are made over into him and his nature. What remains is the eternal and love is eternal because love is a person and he is eternal. Love is everything we can use to define it and more because love is a person and that person is God. Which just happens to be the only infinite person there is. So love is infinite when we try and explain it. So love just is all because I am that I am. So yes love is a decision and love is a emotion and love is so much more from forever to forever and all in-between.
Amen.

As Paul said:

"And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity." (I Corinthians 13:13)

The underlying Greek word which is here translated as "charity" is "agapē" or that which if oftentimes called "the God type of love":

https://www.blueletterbible.org/lexicon/g26/kjv/tr/0-1/

Paul rightly noted that this type of love is greater than both faith and hope, and the reason for this is because the day will come when we will no longer require faith or hope because that which we've placed both our faith and hope in will be a reality. At the same time, however, love will never fail or cease in that it will continue on throughout eternity.
 
S

Seeking-Christ

Guest
#23
I have a book by C.S. Lewis called The Four Loves. It gets a little confusing because in English we only have one word, when the Greek had more then one word for our word love. Each with a different definition. But other people have already demonstrated that in this thread.
 
A

anne03

Guest
#26
Also, welcome to the forum Anne. This started out as a Singles forum, but it has evolved into the default chill place to hang out and chat, for all kinds of people.
Thank you, Good to know.
 
A

anne03

Guest
#28
View attachment 238657

The two most referenced words for love used in the Bible is agape and philia. So selfless love and love of friendship are very important topics in scripture. I have read that eros isn't even found in scripture.

Love is both an action, a mixture of biological processes related to hormones, and the law of attraction as in if you mentally focus on the physique
of an individual then you very likely will start feeling attracted to such an image.

Biblically we are told to even love our enemies. How is this achieved? Through prayer and dedication to such thoughts. Prayer is not only seeking the help of God but it actually lights up parts of the brain that helps us renew our minds. Neuroplasticity is evidence of this.

Engaging in 12 minutes of personal reflection and prayer each day makes a profound impact on our brain. It strengthens a unique neural circuit that specifically enhances our social awareness and empathy and helps us love our neighbor by developing a heightened sense of compassion and subduing negative emotions. -https://www.westmont.edu/how-faith-and-prayer-benefit-brain

So in many ways than one suggests love is not only an action physically but also mentally. We can choose to love or choose to hate.

Love can be embraced or suppressed. For example, a mother during pregnancy produces hormones that support bonding and encourage love but unfortunately some can suppress those feelings and still have an abortion.

Love is verb and expects action. How do we love with no action? Even if the feeling isn't there we are still commanded to love. Ironically though to act in love often creates the feeling of love.
Thank you for your answer. I read it twice, honestly, is like you put all my ideas in order. Totally agree, I mean the fact that is a verb and a command indicates an action, a decision. It's something that involves proactivity, and when you take action, then the feeling comes as a result. And like you mention neuroplasticity, I work as a medical translator and last year I had to interpret a workshop about this topic. It blows my mind the way we can re-teach our brain to think different and then our brain tells our body to feel different.
 

Roughsoul1991

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2016
8,863
4,513
113
#29
Thank you for your answer. I read it twice, honestly, is like you put all my ideas in order. Totally agree, I mean the fact that is a verb and a command indicates an action, a decision. It's something that involves proactivity, and when you take action, then the feeling comes as a result. And like you mention neuroplasticity, I work as a medical translator and last year I had to interpret a workshop about this topic. It blows my mind the way we can re-teach our brain to think different and then our brain tells our body to feel different.
Same here, I loved psychology before surrendering my life to Jesus so I was quite amazed at the psychological truths in scripture that promotes the renewing of the mind.

For example, I studied this last year and this was amazing what I learned. I wrote it down.


Renewing and Rewiring: How your mind, body and soul can find transformation.

Romans 12:2 New International Version
2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

How do we renew our minds so that we may be able to know the will of God?

We must first make sure our foundation is solid.

Ephesians 2:19-22 New International Version
19 Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household, 20 built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. 21 In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. 22 And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit.

In 1 Corinthians 2:10-12, we see how important it is for us to receive the Holy Spirit but also to listen to the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit living in us knows the will of God. With this, the Spirit helps us come to the truth and to get an understanding.

1 Corinthians 2:10-12 New International Version
10 these are the things God has revealed to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. 11 For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. 12 What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us.

The Holy Spirit helps us in this transformation by teaching us and reminding us of God's Holy and perfect will.

How do we learn of God’s holy and perfect will?

John 14:26 New International Version
26 But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.

This truth counters the lies of Satan and the world. We are told to focus on what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, and praiseworthy in the eyes of God.

We put these over the negative, therefore the positive takes the place over the negative. This begins to replace the old self with the new self.

Philippians 4:8 New International Version
8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

In the renewing of our mind, not only are you spiritually influenced, but also physically transformed as the brain forms new connections and pathways that ultimately can rewire our brains. This is called Neuroplasticity. There are many ways this helps us renew our minds as well.

"A few of the methods that have been shown to enhance or boost neuroplasticity include:

“Intermittent fasting (as noted earlier): increases synaptic adaptation, promotes neuron growth, improve overall cognitive function, and decreases the risk of neurodegenerative disease; (periods of fasting followed by periods of normal food intake); (1)

Joel 2:12 New International Version
12 “Even now,” declares the Lord,
“return to me with all your heart,
with fasting and weeping and mourning.”

During the state of fasting, you improve in cognitive function and this can promote neuron growth that helps your taste, smell, hearing, seeing, touch, and movement.

Cognitive functioning refers to multiple mental abilities, including learning, thinking, reasoning, remembering, problem-solving, decision making, and attention. (2)

Using mnemonic devices: memory training can enhance connectivity in the prefrontal parietal network and prevent some age-related memory loss; (1)

God in His Word uses the technique of repetition that has helped people for centuries memorize the scriptures due to the absence of household scrolls or writings. It was in the 1400s with the 1455 Gutenberg Bible being the first to be mass-produced.

Examples:
551 times in the NIV, love is mentioned. The parable of the sower is mentioned in Matthew 13:1-23, Mark 4:1-20, and Luke 8:4-15.

Dancing: reduces the risk of Alzheimer’s and increases neural connectivity; (1)

Psalm 149:3 NIV
3 Let them praise his name with dancing and make music to him with timbrel and harp.

Dancing is a way one can worship God but it also helps your brain to learn new tasks with memorization.

Sleeping: encourages learning retention through the growth of the dendritic spines that act as connections between neurons and help transfer information across cells (Nguyen, 2016).(1)

Relaxation techniques to keep stress at bay (1)

Exodus 20:11 God rested on the 7th day and God called it Holy.

Setting a precedent that the Sabbath day was made for man, not that man was made for the Sabbath. To break the Sabbath was once a death penalty in the Mosaic law. Jesus came to explain that the day of rest was to help mankind, not further burden them.

Learning an instrument or listening to music (1)

Musical training—and perhaps even habitual engagement with listening to and appreciating music—can help the brain enhance its natural neuroplasticity and improve countless abilities and cognitive skills. (1)

Psalm 149:3 NIV
3 Let them praise his name with dancing and make music to him with timbrel and harp.

In a recent writing, I did on the Aesthetics of music related to worship. I was amazed to see the positive effects on the brain related to the musician or simply listening to positive music that includes the warmer musical notes in a harmony.

Mindfulness meditation (Irving, 2016). (1)

Jessica Cassity (n.d.) writes this about mindfulness meditation and neuroplasticity:

“With meditation, your brain is effectively being rewired: As your feelings and thoughts morph toward a more pleasant outlook your brain is also transforming, making this way of thought more of a default… The more your brain changes from meditation, the more you react to everyday life with that same sense of calm, compassion, and awareness.”(1)

Joshua 1:8 New International Version
8 Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.

Meditate on God's truth day and night. You will begin to change from an infant Christian into a mature Christian. The more you change, the more you will want to react and follow God's commands.
The difference will be like...

Matthew 26:73-74 New International Version

73 After a little while, those standing there went up to Peter and said, “Surely you are one of them; your accent gives you away.” 74 Then he began to call down curses, and he swore to them, “I don’t know the man!” Immediately a rooster crowed.

VERSUS

Acts 5:27-29 New International Version
27 The apostles were brought in and made to appear before the Sanhedrin to be questioned by the high priest. 28 “We gave you strict orders not to teach in this name,” he said. “Yet you have filled Jerusalem with your teaching and are determined to make us guilty of this man’s blood.”
29 Peter and the other apostles replied: “We must obey God rather than human beings!

A true transformation will include both mind, body and soul. Your soul will be hungry for Spiritual nourishment. Your mind will begin to align with the mind of God. Your body will follow the will of the soul and mind.

When scripture says that God can heal us for example,

Psalm 107:20 New Revised Standard Version
20 he sent out his word and healed them, and delivered them from destruction.

Trauma, anxiety, depression, rejection, ptsd, sorrow or pain. The renewing and rewiring of the mind and brain can be life transforming both spiritually and physically.
Do you make regular practice of intermediate fasting with focus on giving God more time, meditation on God’s Word, dancing in worship, listening to music that promotes Biblical truth, worship God with an instrument, getting enough sleep, finding time to relax, or memory training to equip you with the Word of God?

Sources:
(1) https://positivepsychology.com/neuroplasticity/#examples-neuroplasticity
(2) https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/psychology/cognitive-functioning
(3) www.biblegateway.com
 
G

Gojira

Guest
#30
According to what the bible says, do you think live is more like a feeling or an emotion, or a decision, why?
I think it is both.

Jesus said if you obey His commands, you love Him. Action = love.

But, we also know the intense passion a parent has for the children, for example. That is emotion.

I think the two can be separate, or they can work together. But, I do not believe it's either / or.
 

JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
6,235
2,530
113
#31
Love is a choice...a decision and not an emotion. Sure emotions help assist a person into loving someone else...but emotions are feelings...like hot, cold, fear, or happy...and fleeting at best.

Love can be based on a lot of various things. I can love a sibling but not actually like them. We may not be friends or enjoy each other's company due to conflicting ideals but that by no means has any bearing on my love for them.

This is how in Ephesians Paul writes "Husbands love your wives". The Husbands had a choice...but the common cultural practice was to not love their wives but to instead love their consorts/concubine. (In Timothy Paul refers to them as wives)



My wife is my best friend, we share everything in common. She knows and understands me and agrees with me. Because of this, she is the focus of several types of my love. Because we share so much in common with our unseen thoughts that there's no shame or embarrassment in sharing our physical bodies as well. It's an afterthought at this point.

If you are incapable of love...then you can't love yourself or God. Although it's often referred to as only loving yourself...it simply isn't true. Love is good. God is the embodiment of all good things...ergo: God is love.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#33
thing is, some husbands may think their wife agrees with them all the time but...she might actually NOT agree over some things, but only agrees to please her husband.

and vice versa.
woe betide the wife who dares to disagree...lol

though it is loving to agree to everything? Even if you think that is the wrong thing for YOU to do, you are thinking of someone elses comfort and feelings Im guessing.

But in the context of being single because this IS the singles forum, love is kindness and patience towards everyone. Love is what God has shown us, because He has forgiven us, we must forgive also.
 

kinda

Senior Member
Jun 26, 2013
3,931
1,506
113
#34
According to what the bible says, do you think live is more like a feeling or an emotion, or a decision, why?
What do you think love is?

Johnny Cash says,

"Love is a burning thing
And it makes a fiery ring"





I think Jesus is love. If you want to know what love is, Just read the Gospels.
 

kaijo

Senior Member
Jul 31, 2017
355
54
28
#36
To love = To care

If you care about someone, their safety, their well being, when they are hurting physically or mentally and you wish to protect them from any form of harm, the same way you would about your parents or siblings, nieces or nephews, friends or a partner...then you love them.
 

Subhumanoidal

Well-known member
Sep 17, 2018
4,061
3,175
113
#37
The difficulty in answering this is that what each person thinks of when they hear love, varies. And those different types may have different answers.
A new couple may often not feel love is a choice. They met this person and "just fell in love". To them it was automatic. That same couple 10 years later may find that there may be times where they have to make a choice.

Or even circumstances can change it. "Love your neighbor" can be easy to do and not even a choice if you get along great with them. But what about that annoying neighbor that suddenly falls on hard times? You have to make a choice to be loving and help them.

It's easy to love people we get along with well (and can just happen without thinking about it). It can be a challenge (and a choice) to love that person that's a problem in your life.

So it's not a one or the other. It's both.
 
C

ChristianTonyB

Guest
#38
Sometimes I feel I allow my emotions to get in the way of love, making it difficult for me to enact love. If I retaliate in a hurtful manner towards someone that has hurt my feelings, then that is not love, indeed it is the opposite of it.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,424
9,408
113
#39
The difficulty in answering this is that what each person thinks of when they hear love, varies. And those different types may have different answers.
A new couple may often not feel love is a choice. They met this person and "just fell in love". To them it was automatic. That same couple 10 years later may find that there may be times where they have to make a choice.

Or even circumstances can change it. "Love your neighbor" can be easy to do and not even a choice if you get along great with them. But what about that annoying neighbor that suddenly falls on hard times? You have to make a choice to be loving and help them.

It's easy to love people we get along with well (and can just happen without thinking about it). It can be a challenge (and a choice) to love that person that's a problem in your life.

So it's not a one or the other. It's both.
Kinda reminds me of a song. (You're not surprised, I hope.)


"Love your neighbor"
Doesn't ask me if she has apologized
Doesn't ask me if I see things through her eyes
"Love your neighbor"
Is a little about her
Probably more about me
But it's a lot, a lot about You