OK, we know where YOU stand... lol
How about some suggestions? What WOULD BE the appropriate thing for a lonely older fella to do?
I apologize from the start if this answer seems sarcastic in any way, because I'm really meaning for it to be a serious answer.
I'm not sure why a "lonely older fella" would think it would be any different than the advice they give to the younger singles: if you want to meet friends or a special someone, the formula doesn't change. As far I can see, you'll have to do the same thing all the rest of the lonely singles are told time after time to do -- join groups, clubs, go to events, hang out on forums, serve at church, do volunteer work...
This is another area in which I can't claim to be an expert but as the only single person with no kids in my family, it kind of fell to me to look after my grandparents on both sides when their spouses died. One was in their 60's and the other in their 90's, and they both met significant others either through people they'd known for a long time (because they'd always lived in that area,) or by attending all the meals and events at the local senior center and churches. They lived in small towns in the middle of nowhere, and even those places had senior services and establishments.
After that, I've spent the last 10 years following my parents to other senior establishments in several places and they were literally entire meccas that specifically served the 55+ population. There was every kind of activity, club, restaurant, pub, and shop you could think of, all aimed towards the needs and wants of seniors. There was even one restaurant that was known to be the place where single seniors went to find a date for the night. The community had a plethora of senior singles, whether by choice, divorce, or widowhood.
Now of course, I'm not in any way promoting that any single should embrace the party life, but I guess one thing older people might have to do is to be willing to hang out with other seniors in social groups, and even those who are older than they are. It's an interesting thing to live in a place where the 75-year-olds (who are still very active) are complaining about the 55-year-old young "whipper snappers" who are "taking over everything."
I do have to mention that it was very common for the single people in those circles (whether male or female) to try to go after those who were much younger. Young, good-looking staff members at any of the businesses were regularly hit on by the older patrons, because it seemed like no one was satisfied with the idea of actually meeting someone within their own age range. And if they couldn't find success in real life, they would turn to internet dating sites all promising younger companions for older people. They all wanted someone to make them feel young and relevant.
I've been single now for almost 20 years, and while I don't have nearly as much life experience as some, I do have to say that from what I've seen, the Christian community is no different, and often even worse as far as expectations go. This is because everyone believes God "wants only the best for them," and the best must mean exactly what they want. We all fall to this, including myself at times (which is probably why I'm still single, lol.)
Back in the day, Christian Mingle was divided into live chat rooms according to age range -- the 20's, 30's, etc. I was in the 30's range at the time, and we often had people in the 30's room in their mid-40's and 50's who were looking for 30-something companions. I understand this, but if all the older people are looking for someone younger (and I'm certainly not saying you are, JAPOV, I'm just using this as an example,) it's no wonder older people aren't finding companions because they're ignoring those who are actually in their own age range.
So I realize most older singles aren't going to find this very helpful, but I've seen for myself that really there are resources out there for older singles, and like singles of any age, it takes a lot of work and effort to feel them out.
I consider myself to be an extreme introvert, so I understand that most people don't want to have to, or don't have the time or resources, to join groups or things outside of their regular lives -- everyone wants a quick antidote for loneliness -- hop online, instantly connect with some magical princess or unicorn, then run away together in the setting sun.
Unfortunately, most times it just doesn't work that way. But that doesn't mean other things can't work.
As I type this, I'm in the midst of an over 7-years-in-the-making, 2-years-of-planning real-life meetup with 5 other CC members from across the country.
No, it's not the romantic love that most singles hope they can find, and it's taken countless hours for us all to get to know each other over the years in order to establish enough trust to do this, and I know that for myself, it's been a great reminder that God might not give us what we think we want -- but He may give us other amazing things.
I really have a heart for singles and it's my prayer that every single could be a friend to and find at least one good Godly person to connect with.
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