Hey, kaylagrl.
This thread seems to be going nowhere fast, but I'll address your comments simply out of courtesy/respect, and then I'll probably just move away from this conversation.
When I said that you seemingly missed that part, I didn't mean that you hadn't quoted that particular verse. Instead, I meant that you and at least one other poster here seemed to be taking umbrage when Polar (and I, in turn) simply asked "Where is the love?" I felt, and still do feel, that her question was beyond legitimate because the passage does speak of "benevolence" which precedes the physical part of any sexual act that so many people here seemed to only be focusing upon.
Also, in my initial post here, a post in which I quoted you, I began with a disclaimer that I had only read about the first 4 pages of this thread and 2 or 3 pages leading up to your post which I quoted. I also plainly stated that I might be genuinely ignorant of a lot of what was said here for the aforementioned reason.
Hopefully, this clears up this part of your post.
A couple of things...
I'm not quite sure how you are equating "a healthy Christian marriage" with anything that I actually said. It seems to me, and I could be mistaken, based upon what you just said that by "healthy" you mean literally "healthy" as in no "health issues or past trauma". If such is indeed the case, then what in the world does that have to do with the "love" that seemed to be missing to both Polar and me?
Furthermore, even if you had said that you weren't discussing that, then what gives you or anybody else the right to get so bent out of shape when Polar or I brought up such an issue...an issue which is clearly included in the text at hand?
I have to say that I agree with Polar's assessment of you on this particular thread as far as having some sort of domineering attitude is concerned. This is a public forum, and all of the members are eligible to post on any given thread, and especially if their comments are in line with the actual topic of the thread, and both her comments and mine clearly were/are.
I mean, no offense, but drop the "Mother Superior" attitude here. I had enough of that when I went to Catholic school from 1st to 5th grade.
Also, although I'm not presently quoting him, JohnDB was totally out of line with some of his comments here as far as I'm concerned, so I'm a bit disappointed to see you in agreement with him.
The conclusions that the two of you have made in relation to Polar seem totally out of line to me, and I really don't think that either of you are seeing clearly right now as far as where she is concerned (not that I'm her spokesman...I don't even know anything about her, except for the few posts that I've read here).
Ironically, the one making assumptions (and off-the-wall assumptions at that) here is you.
First of all, I never "stopped listening", so you can drop that "maybe". Instead, as I clearly stated in my initial post here, I only read the first 4 pages or so of this thread, and then 2 or 3 pages leading up to the first post of yours that I quoted. I also mentioned at that time that I hadn't read any comments after that particular post as of yet, and I still haven't read some of them.
I don't know about the rest of you, but I don't have all day to sit around reading a truckload of posts. I'm very busy with work and other matters, and I actually had the decency to give a plain disclaimer from my very first post here, so maybe it's you who needs to pay closer attention to what others here are saying.
Also, I never said that Polar was correct in all that she was saying, so you can drop that "maybe" as well. Instead, I simply agreed with her, and still do, that the aspect of "love" seemed to be missing from much of what you were saying. Again, to be fair to you, I haven't read all of your comments here, but I could easily cite some examples from the posts of yours that I actually have read.
Additionally, I both know you and have read many of your posts, and I haven't "taken sides" either...except that I'm always on the side of truth.
As another poster recently rightly noted, I've been here before as "Live4Him" and "Live4Him2", and you and I have conversed before both publicly and privately. Privately, especially in relation to a "porn addiction" thread from about a year or so ago in which I asked you to pray for a particular member who was posting here at that time.
I'd post an actual profile picture of myself to jog your memory, but in doing so I might cause some women here to abandon all of their sexual desires forever (after seeing my face), and I wouldn't want to carry that burden around with me (I'm joking, of course).
Again, I've read MANY of your posts before, and you've actually read quite a few of mine as well...and especially on the topic of marriage. If need be, then I can provide you links to some of them when I was posting here as "Live4Him".
As far as any "broader view" is concerned, I've simply been "broadening" much of what's been said here to include the much-needed aspect of love, and I've addressed that plainly more than once.
As far as "women rolling over" is concerned, I've addressed both women and men in my comments here.
I am a fair-minded and balanced person, and I stand right where I've stood all along.
On the side of LOVE within a marriage, and any sexual acts coming forth as a direct result of the same and not out of some lifeless command to "roll over".