continued.......
the day of the wedding arrived. The Empress was looking stunning in her wedding gown. Unfortunately the used tyre wedding ring did not compliment the rest of the outfit but as it was a gift from her beloved she was forced to wear it.
Bridesmaids Lanolin and Ruby also rulers of their own countries were busily calming down Empress Jennymaesia who at this stage was having panic attacks. Empress Lanolin suggested she blow into a paper bag, Empress Ruby suggested she drink a little wine. The Empress decided to do both, she needed to calm quickly.
"Wait, what? The Empress is getting married too?" the great Chieftain of Mosestaria (may his heart remain unbroken and his mind unfettered by emotion) - deep inside a bunker, underneath a basement, in the heartland of the great Chiefdom once known as Mosestaria - spat out his celebratory champagne in surprise.
The wisest of the 70 assembled Mosestarian wise men, Mordecai the Wise(r), started to repeat "Empress Jennymaesia is currently having panic attacks as it is the day of her wedding, so she is blowing into a paper bag *and* drinking a little wine..."
"I explicitly instructed Jomés Band he was supposed to seduce the crone! The wicked witch of Jennymaesia... You know - the ugly one!!!" the Chieftain exploded. "Not the red-lipsticked Empress of Jennymaesia!"
"Ahhhhh, well, sire... You do know that beauty, much like ugliness, can often be in the eye of the beholder?", Mordecai attempted to excuse the obvious failure of Mosestaria's number one spy.
"She is covered in warts! How could he be so mistaken?" the Chieftain fumed.
"Which one sire?" asked Mordecai helpfully.
The Chieftain of Mosestaria shook his head, speechless with dismay. This wedding will be disastrous for Mosestaria!" he lamented. "All of our secrets - our schemes - our plots... potentially exposed to our greatest enemy... Not to mention the birthright of any royal children."
"Will they even be Mosestarian children...", he continued, "or Jennymaesian?" he spat the word. There was an awkward silence, as most everyone of the wise men knew that Jennymaesian women, especially Jennymaesian Empresses, almost always gave birth to Jennymaesian children.
"Does it matter so much if the children are Jennymaesian?" asked one of the not-so-wise wise men. "I mean, the father will still be Mosestarian..."
"Our scheme is to end the Jennymaesian dynasty, and put one of our own in the Empress' chair!" asserted the Chieftain. "Not to help continue their dynasty for them!"
"Well, is there some way we could arrange for Jomés Band to give birth? I know it's never been tried, but it's gaining popularity in Europe, and there is a chance that a Mosestarian man..."
Before the not-so-wise man had completed his suggestion, the Chieftain had waved his hand, and Mosestarian guards had escorted the hapless man to the surface.
"Perhaps the Empress and Jomés Band won't want children?" another wise-man suggested hopefully. "Difficult, scheming, messy creatures they can be, children... And expensive! Perhaps if we provided a free, informative course on the financial cost of child-rearing in the 21st century..."
"There is still the matter of risk to Mosestaria's state secrets!" stated the Chieftain coldly. "No, there is only one way for Mosestaria to escape this potential tragedy. The wedding must be cancelled!"