Sorry if I missed something, but could you perhaps mention what happened as a result of not giving that person the money? and why did the husband have a bad feeling? what was the person needing money for?
I do not know the details of what the person's exact need was. I do know that the woman who went through this now feels that the primary issue was not giving money to this person (the person managed without her help), but whether or not she would respect her husband's final ruling and not go behind his back, etc.
I know it's a tough call but it was not a life or death situation... and I agree with you completely, Pheonix--sometimes, helping a person isn't really helping them--it's enabling someone to do wrong, and that can be a sin as well.
In this particular case, I do know that my mentor is now as peace with having let her husband have the final say.
The thing is too, even if he was wrong--if it's not a life and death situation and if our husband isn't asking us to do wrong, he is accountable to God for his decision, whether right or wrong. If a husband prevents his wife from doing something that God asked her to do, God will hold him responsible.
But, we also have to remember that our example is Jesus--Jesus chose to be obedient and submissive to His Father--even to the point of death. God the Father asked Him to endure some very unpleasant things while on this earth, even though the Father loved the Son with a perfect love.
So... I sometimes think to myself that, of course, submitting to an authority, even a husband who is supposed to love us, won't always be easy. But, if Jesus is our example... look at what we have to live up to...