Should I Say Something

[Willow]

I'm sorry to hear of this, Willow. Tell us; how did it make you feel to know that others possessed information that could have spared you from abuse? Did these inactions cause you to feel valued? Or, did the fact that these people said nothing, did it cause you to feel like you were perhaps worthless? Based upon this, I would dare say that to say nothing would be the sin, which is quite the opposite of some opinions, here.

Unless we have amazing control over our sense of self-confidence, abuse can have life-long, debilitating effects upon us (and how we live our lives). Unfortunately, most do not possess such self-control.

I am still healing from PTSD. The abuse can be long lived in our reactions or actions toward others. It did cause me to devalue myself and I repeated the same actions in looking for someone else. Instead of looking for caution that God was showing me. But I grew up in a home that was abusive verbally and physically. Takes God to show us real love and wisdom.
I feel you should look at through God's eyes. What do you think Jesus would do? Allow someone to get into an abusive relationship without warning us? He warned me but a few times I did not listen later in life. So I feel if you are thinking about it perhaps God has laid it on your heart and you should say something. I personally would not be friends with someone who is abusive. Those kind of people make me cringe. Such heartless acts they bestow upon others grieves my spirit. I feel the people that did not tell me were not friends. Most of them were friends or his family members. Could it be a sin by not saying anything, I feel could be. If that person is killed from the abuse would you think their blood is on your hands? Perhaps as many church leaders who are accountable for not telling people the truth in love. I have heard people say it is not my problem. Perhaps the same thing was said about abortions. Something to think about or pray about.

 

[Beckie]

I know a guy who is not well liked but I treat him well and he considers me a friend. He beat his wife to the point that she left him and now he is dating a girl he knew from high school some twenty years ago. Do I warn her of his abuse, yes or no?

Should we warn any one about any danger?

 

[Snacks]

Should we warn any one about any danger?

Yes. And I will.

 

[2ndTimothyGroup]

I am still healing from PTSD. The abuse can be long lived in our reactions or actions toward others. It did cause me to devalue myself and I repeated the same actions in looking for someone else. Instead of looking for caution that God was showing me. But I grew up in a home that was abusive verbally and physically. Takes God to show us real love and wisdom.
I feel you should look at through God's eyes. What do you think Jesus would do? Allow someone to get into an abusive relationship without warning us? He warned me but a few times I did not listen later in life. So I feel if you are thinking about it perhaps God has laid it on your heart and you should say something. I personally would not be friends with someone who is abusive. Those kind of people make me cringe. Such heartless acts they bestow upon others grieves my spirit. I feel the people that did not tell me were not friends. Most of them were friends or his family members. Could it be a sin by not saying anything, I feel could be. If that person is killed from the abuse would you think their blood is on your hands? Perhaps as many church leaders who are accountable for not telling people the truth in love. I have heard people say it is not my problem. Perhaps the same thing was said about abortions. Something to think about or pray about.

Thank you, Willow, for sharing your thoughts and feelings on these matters. And, I'd also like to apologize for those who did not say anything to you as you fell into such an incredible pitfall. It seems that this crew, here, doesn't understand pitfalls and stumbling blocks, and how we as Brothers and Sisters in Christ are supposed to watch out for each other. For anyone here to suggest that we should not intervene is to suggest that the hand does not need the foot, nor does the eye need the ears. But instead, we are supposed to be one body, and it is a body that helps each other. We are all given certain gifts, but apparently, this group doesn't believe in helping itself as a body. How horrific and utterly shameful.

Ecclesiastes 4:9 NLT - "Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed."

1 Corinthians 12:7 NLT - "A spiritual gift is given to each of us so we can help each other."

Ezekiel 33:1-9 NKJV - "Again the word of the LORD came to me, saying, 2 "Son of man, speak to the children of your people, and say to them: 'When I bring the sword upon a land, and the people of the land take a man from their territory and make him their watchman, 3 'when he sees the sword coming upon the land, if he blows the trumpet and warns the people, 4 'then whoever hears the sound of the trumpet and does not take warning, if the sword comes and takes him away, his blood shall be on his [own] head. 5 'He heard the sound of the trumpet, but did not take warning; his blood shall be upon himself. But he who takes warning will save his life. 6 'But if the watchman sees the sword coming and does not blow the trumpet, and the people are not warned, and the sword comes and takes [any] person from among them, he is taken away in his iniquity; but his blood I will require at the watchman's hand.' 7 "So you, son of man: I have made you a watchman for the house of Israel; therefore you shall hear a word from My mouth and warn them for Me. 8 "When I say to the wicked, 'O wicked [man], you shall surely die!' and you do not speak to warn the wicked from his way, that wicked [man] shall die in his iniquity; but his blood I will require at your hand. 9 "Nevertheless if you warn the wicked to turn from his way, and he does not turn from his way, he shall die in his iniquity; but you have delivered your soul."

 

[Lanolin]

If he has a restraining order against him then yea
When someone is so badly hurt that they have to leave a marriage and go into a refuge or hospital then HELL yes.

 

[2ndTimothyGroup]

Nice. Now we allow swearing at Christian Chat?

 

[Lanolin]

swearing? Hell is the opposite of Heaven, its in the bible.

what are YOU talking about. Abuse is not OK.

 

[2ndTimothyGroup]

Do you say things like, "Hell Yes!" while at church?

 

[2ndTimothyGroup]

@tourist

What about you? Do you say things like that at church as well?

 

[2ndTimothyGroup]

Crickets.

I'm confident that if we heard a little child say, "Hell yes!" in church, it would not go unpunished. Do we teach our little children to speak like this?

This blatent attitude and Spirit of rebellion is an embarrassment to this forum.

 

[tourist]

swearing? Hell is the opposite of Heaven, its in the bible.

what are YOU talking about. Abuse is not OK.

@tourist

What about you? Do you say things like that at church as well?

The thing is, much to my regret, I have not been to church in almost 6 years. Too busy working is my excuse. I really don't consider Hell to be a curse word either, but rather a descriptive term for something bad. Milder than the F word anyways. When I was in manufacturing that was a descriptive term too. Also in the military. Need to get back to church too.

 

[joecoten]

I went to a prayer meeting at my new church last night. So far, so good. A group of normal people who seem to love the Lord and desire to serve Him. And I'm feeling well enough to go!
It's not "The Big Show." Which is what I was hoping the Lord would lead me to. I've waited a long time for Him to open a door for me.
To sit and talk face-to-face with other believers. To pray for each other. I feel relaxed. I don't know what the future holds, but I think I'm making a friend with Dave. I haven't had a friend in so long.
I guess I'm kinda off-topic. Oh well!

 

[2ndTimothyGroup]

I went to a prayer meeting at my new church last night. So far, so good. A group of normal people who seem to love the Lord and desire to serve Him. And I'm feeling well enough to go!
It's not "The Big Show." Which is what I was hoping the Lord would lead me to. I've waited a long time for Him to open a door for me.
To sit and talk face-to-face with other believers. To pray for each other. I feel relaxed. I don't know what the future holds, but I think I'm making a friend with Dave. I haven't had a friend in so long.
I guess I'm kinda off-topic. Oh well!

I hear what you're saying. I think we can all agree, though, that little children aren't allowed to say, "Hell yes!" in Sunday School.

 

[joecoten]

I hear what you're saying. I think we can all agree, though, that little children aren't allowed to say, "Hell yes!" in Sunday School.

No, they are not! lol

 

[2ndTimothyGroup]

No, they are not! lol

I shake my head that I even have to say something about this.

Mark 9:42 NKJV - "But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were thrown into the sea."

But hey, if someone wants to take this risk and be a poor example to children . . .

 

[apwall21]

Not for nothing but she left him thus nullifying adultery on his part. And another thing, she had every right to leave him, I applaud her strength and fortitude for doing so, and God in His gracious wisdom will not hold her accountable for finding new love.

Do you honestly believe God would rather have her live another 50 years enduring physical and mental abuse rather than being in the arms of someone else who will love her in a godly manner? Rhetorical question.

I think I should be careful that I don't ever presume on God and another person's calling.
If he calls for it, absolutely.
One prophet married a prostitute. Numerous prophets were stoned to death.
And that's Before the Cross.
What God wants most, as I read it, is obedience to his living spirit, and you become his Children upon accepting Jesus as Savior. And who did Jesus say are his brothers?

 

[apwall21]

My feelings play no part in this. I’ve tried to intervene in the past with other couples only to have the women side with their man. Then there was another time when I did not intervene and the guy eventually broke his wife’s jaw.

Yes, women who are abused are often children of abusive fathers, so see the abuse as a proof of loving relationships. They just as often will engage the male to bring out/up the violence, as "proof" of "caring."
Further, while it would seem contrary to popular culture, men who abuse their spouses have other qualities (still made in the image of God) that endear them as average humans, though this particular sin may be more obvious and "obnoxious" to us as flesh and blood, and loving neighbors.
I think you should pray, and pray some more, for his salvation. If he's claiming he's saved, help him pray for the Fruits of the Spirit, and keep him on point with those prayers. Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, Self Control.

 

[2ndTimothyGroup]

Yes, women who are abused are often children of abusive fathers, so see the abuse as a proof of loving relationships.

Interesting. I've never spoken to anyone, male, female, child to adult who ever equated painful abuse with love. I'd say that someone is is extremely and mentally unfit would ever claim such a thing.

 

[apwall21]

Interesting. I've never spoken to anyone, male, female, child to adult who ever equated painful abuse with love. I'd say that someone is is extremely and mentally unfit would ever claim such a thing.

Then you've not spent time with abusive couples and families with histories of abuse. I would agree, but for that experience. There are women who absolutely think some violence from the male proves he loves them. There are other couples to whom violence is... well, the same as some people get out of "cuddling" prior to ... the birds and the bees.

 

[2ndTimothyGroup]

Then you've not spent time with abusive couples and families with histories of abuse.

I see. So you're saying that normal, balanced, healthy-minded women find abuse to actually be Love?