Hey Everyone,
The last thread asking about how many men would not want their wives to work brought out an interesting answer. At least one very courageous man in the poll voted that he would like to be a house husband with a wife who provides.
I have seen many a passionate, heated speeches over the years about how evil feminist women who wanted to work destroyed the Godly structure of the family -- and I can understand the reasons as to why some feel this way. ANY agenda pushed too far over the line is eventually going to topple something.
But I have never, to my knowledge, ever seen a discussion about what would happen if the opposite occurred -- what if men took up in droves and insisted on being house husbands?
The thing is, I personally believe it's already happened in many cases -- it's just not formalized or at the forefront of legal battles in the news. Now I must issue a disclaimer here: because I am a woman, it's most often women who talk to me about their lives, and I have known many women who have a house husband by default. In most cases, it was either because he didn't want to work, or he lost his job, couldn't find another and gave up trying, so now he stays at home all day, mostly watching TV.
However, as with anything situation, there are always some good people mixed in. I have also known a few wonderful house husbands who very much take care of the housework, cooking, and shuttling kids to and from school and all their activities while their wife works. After all, we are all called to different positions in life.
I grew up in a family of movers and shakers -- type-A personalities with business-minded, supernatural energy levels and work ethics that were applied to anything they approached -- whether it was making it to the top of a company or moving stones to finally balance a church budget, they would set a goal and worked tirelessly towards it.
It took me a lifetime to finally figure out that this is not me, and even longer to try to communicate to my family that I am not one of those go, go, GO! - type people -- BUT, I AM happiest when I'm working as a useful, productive assistant to someone who is like them (a morally strong, hard-working leader.) I am more than willing to work my tail off for someone I believe in to the best of my abilities.
And I also came to realize that many men might not be type-A CEO's either, but are probably more than happy working and serving in assistant-type jobs and/or more domestic roles. Not everyone has to conquer some type of profession in order to do what God has called them to do.
I have only read the bare bones basics about groups such as Men Going Their Own Way, but it seems that their common foundation is (though I'm sure they don't see it this way,) based on fear -- the fear of failing, the fear of not being what society expects them to be, and the fear of not finding a woman who is willing to get close to them -- therefore, they want to set their own rules, do their own thing, and live life on their own terms. I think nearly every human being feels this way to an extent, but as we know, extremes hurt everyone.
I have to wonder if, as this fear grows, whether ingrained or pushed over the lines by societal pressure, more and more men will wish they could find a woman who would "take care of things," most especially if they were raised by strong mothers who actually DID take care of everything as they were growing up. I know I have seemed to find this often within the dating pool -- a subset of men, or maybe men who are just more vulnerable, who are looking for a partner who can step forward and ease, or take a good chunk of the burdens of life off their shoulders.
And I do think this could work in some situations.
But yet, this is something I never see talked about in Christian circles:
* What would happen to the structure of the family if more and more men want to step back and take lesser roles within the family?
* How does this affect their spiritual leadership?
* Is it ok if a man leads in every other way except financial responsibility? How would that play out?
I personally believe that God might have very well called some men to be house husbands, and some women to be providers for their families. But I do think they would be facing some possibly unique challenges or approaches as far as establishing the working roles within the family.
Perhaps I could be wrong.
I would be very interested in hearing your thoughts.
The last thread asking about how many men would not want their wives to work brought out an interesting answer. At least one very courageous man in the poll voted that he would like to be a house husband with a wife who provides.
I have seen many a passionate, heated speeches over the years about how evil feminist women who wanted to work destroyed the Godly structure of the family -- and I can understand the reasons as to why some feel this way. ANY agenda pushed too far over the line is eventually going to topple something.
But I have never, to my knowledge, ever seen a discussion about what would happen if the opposite occurred -- what if men took up in droves and insisted on being house husbands?
The thing is, I personally believe it's already happened in many cases -- it's just not formalized or at the forefront of legal battles in the news. Now I must issue a disclaimer here: because I am a woman, it's most often women who talk to me about their lives, and I have known many women who have a house husband by default. In most cases, it was either because he didn't want to work, or he lost his job, couldn't find another and gave up trying, so now he stays at home all day, mostly watching TV.
However, as with anything situation, there are always some good people mixed in. I have also known a few wonderful house husbands who very much take care of the housework, cooking, and shuttling kids to and from school and all their activities while their wife works. After all, we are all called to different positions in life.
I grew up in a family of movers and shakers -- type-A personalities with business-minded, supernatural energy levels and work ethics that were applied to anything they approached -- whether it was making it to the top of a company or moving stones to finally balance a church budget, they would set a goal and worked tirelessly towards it.
It took me a lifetime to finally figure out that this is not me, and even longer to try to communicate to my family that I am not one of those go, go, GO! - type people -- BUT, I AM happiest when I'm working as a useful, productive assistant to someone who is like them (a morally strong, hard-working leader.) I am more than willing to work my tail off for someone I believe in to the best of my abilities.
And I also came to realize that many men might not be type-A CEO's either, but are probably more than happy working and serving in assistant-type jobs and/or more domestic roles. Not everyone has to conquer some type of profession in order to do what God has called them to do.
I have only read the bare bones basics about groups such as Men Going Their Own Way, but it seems that their common foundation is (though I'm sure they don't see it this way,) based on fear -- the fear of failing, the fear of not being what society expects them to be, and the fear of not finding a woman who is willing to get close to them -- therefore, they want to set their own rules, do their own thing, and live life on their own terms. I think nearly every human being feels this way to an extent, but as we know, extremes hurt everyone.
I have to wonder if, as this fear grows, whether ingrained or pushed over the lines by societal pressure, more and more men will wish they could find a woman who would "take care of things," most especially if they were raised by strong mothers who actually DID take care of everything as they were growing up. I know I have seemed to find this often within the dating pool -- a subset of men, or maybe men who are just more vulnerable, who are looking for a partner who can step forward and ease, or take a good chunk of the burdens of life off their shoulders.
And I do think this could work in some situations.
But yet, this is something I never see talked about in Christian circles:
* What would happen to the structure of the family if more and more men want to step back and take lesser roles within the family?
* How does this affect their spiritual leadership?
* Is it ok if a man leads in every other way except financial responsibility? How would that play out?
I personally believe that God might have very well called some men to be house husbands, and some women to be providers for their families. But I do think they would be facing some possibly unique challenges or approaches as far as establishing the working roles within the family.
Perhaps I could be wrong.
I would be very interested in hearing your thoughts.
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