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thimsrebma

Guest
#21
#21
zeroturbulence said:
Honestly, if a woman came up to me in church and expressed some interest in getting to know me better it would creep me out big time. I imagine the same would happen if a man approached a woman in church.
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I didn't mean going up to some random person in church you don't know and asking them out straight away.

Personally, Iattend chruch 2 or three times a week. I go to most fellowship activities. Help with set up or clean up for events and am involved with the Singles Ministry. i would like a guy who attends church regularly, and is currently or at least has interest in being involved in church activities.

What I am saying is that if this is what we, most single ladies at my church want, then if there were just as many active males, then some of us may not be single anymore. We would get to know the guys thru this process of church involvement.
 
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zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#22
Aug 2, 2009
24,653
4,316
113
#22
thimsrebma said:
I didn't mean going up to some random person in church you don't know and asking them out straight away.

Personally, Iattend chruch 2 or three times a week. I go to most fellowship activities. Help with set up or clean up for events and am involved with the Singles Ministry. i would like a guy who attends church regularly, and is currently or at least has interest in being involved in church activities.

What I am saying is that if this is what we, most single ladies at my church want, then if there were just as many active males, then some of us may not be single anymore. We would get to know the guys thru this process of church involvement.
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Oh ok, well we don't have singles ministry in our church and I'm afraid to volunteer for anything because I don't like being around people I don't know.
 
J

Japxican

Guest
#23
#23
persecuted said:
I dunno, it seems when I used to try to hang out with Christians they seemed to gravitate to the same places as everyone else... and behave the same as everybody else when they got there.
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I totally get this. I go to a Christian university and it's like everyone lives and acts the same, living in this "bubble" of a campus. I think the ratio of girls to guys is something like 60:40. Anyway, they say in first year orientation that the chances of your future spouse sitting in the same room as you are very high. I guess that rules out about 20% of the girls though. Anyway, don't know where I was going with that...

There are no guys my age at my church, so that rules that out. I would go to another church that has more young people, but those young people I recognize from university and it would feel too much like class. (Don't get me wrong, I'm trying not to be overly pessimistic here).

The problem is that the only guys that ever hit on me are the ones who are creepy, perverted, or something of the sort, so if that one time comes along where I do meet a really decent guy who's actually interested in me, I might be too freaked from past experiences and turn a blind eye towards him.

It could also be that I'm too career driven right now, too.
 
phil36

phil36

Senior Member
#24
Feb 12, 2009
8,345
2,159
113
United Kingdom
#24
I' not sure what the answer is, Guy's we say there is no single ladies in church, and the ladies say there is no single men in the church lol, maybe we are not looking hard enough? I don't know. I live in a small scottish (sea port)town and I can tell you there is not many single christians, especially in my age group.... so where does a guy go?

Dating non-christians is definately a no go, its just asking for trouble. So that really just leaves online. or, maybe means traelling around to diferent churches every now and then? One thing though that I am certain of is that God has everything under control, maybe we are looking that hard that the person could be right under our noses and we don't realise it, or, it could be that they on appearances don't fit our 'type of person'.

I think I have thrown up more questions than answes lol, but, being content in fellowship with God no matter what the situation we are in, is the first place to start.
 
Megatron

Megatron

Banned
#25
May 6, 2011
640
2
0
#25
Oh i dont know phil...even Ill admit there are plenty of single women in church...im just not attracted to them at least not at my church..like i said they are missing an indescribable 'it' factor...
 
phil36

phil36

Senior Member
#26
Feb 12, 2009
8,345
2,159
113
United Kingdom
#26
Megatron said:
Oh i dont know phil...even Ill admit there are plenty of single women in church...im just not attracted to them at least not at my church..like i said they are missing an indescribable 'it' factor...
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lol, the famous 'IT' factor :)
 
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imperfection

Guest
#27
#27
My quesstion is....do we really need to look for someone, somewhere? I don't think looking for someone to match us is one of our strong points. Just trust God. He knows it. It can happend everywhere!!!!
 
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kayem77

Guest
#28
#28
When we are focused on looking for something out of despair and anxiety we tend to find it in the wrong place, or believe we found it when we don't.
It's like when you are rushed to find a dress you like and you are tired of looking around so you just enter the first store you see; then you buy the first dress you think looks nice there and you are somewhat pleased. You keep walking more calmly now and then, by coincidence, find a better dress and maybe even cheaper. You were not even looking for one now. That's when you say "ARE YOU KIDDING ME !":rolleyes:

This happened to me recently and I think it can apply to our life. Sometimes we aree sooooooooo clinged
with something so we tend to idealize, and when we are tired of not finding it we just get the first thing we find. After you get it, you strangely notice that you could have found something better , but that's because now you have a clear mind and you are not exactly looking.

To not make it longer my point is that I think God provides our needs when we are not focused on them,I was precisely reading about this today in Matthew.

“Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.


By the way, answering to the actual question (I tend to forget the point lol:eek:), I think there are lots of places where you can find a christian partner but it's of common sense to mention that bars, wild parties, casinos, strip clubs, lady gaga concerts , hollywood, etc are not higly recommended for this.:rolleyes:

 
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imperfection

Guest
#29
#29
I totally agree with you kayem77. Very good point.

Don't focus on finding something, but focus on God and how you can glorify His Name through your everyday life. Your priorities and your desires will change then and will get on a higher level. God is faithful and he knows and sees our needs and desires. Just trust God to choose the right place, the right man/woman and everything is gonna be ok:)
 
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Jullianna

Guest
#30
#30
imperfection said:
My quesstion is....do we really need to look for someone, somewhere? I don't think looking for someone to match us is one of our strong points. Just trust God. He knows it. It can happend everywhere!!!!
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My intent with this thread wasn't so much about finding a match, it was that so many times we're attracted to the WRONG people in the WRONG places, so some suggestions would be nice. :)

I do agree that God has it under control if He means for us to be with someone. I used to be one of those people who thought God would shove someone in front of me one day, but now I'm beginning to wonder if He expects me to do something too. I don't know and I'm not yet eager enough for a permanent relationship to find out. :) Especially after reading about so many bad experiences here.
 
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allforfun

Guest
#31
#31
Jullianna said:
My intent with this thread wasn't so much about finding a match, it was that so many times we're attracted to the WRONG people in the WRONG places, so some suggestions would be nice. :)

I do agree that God has it under control if He means for us to be with someone. I used to be one of those people who thought God would shove someone in front of me one day, but now I'm beginning to wonder if He expects me to do something too. I don't know and I'm not yet eager enough for a permanent relationship to find out. :) Especially after reading about so many bad experiences here.
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That is key IMO.
 
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thimsrebma

Guest
#32
#32
I've said this so many times before, God is not just gonna drop someone out of the sky into your lap. If you truely want match/mate/spouse you should be putting yourself into situations that that can happen. It's like optimizing your potential. There is a commercial for a christian dating site that says something about people waiting for God to do something, but God may be waiting on you to move first. I totally agree, not sayiong that online dating is what he is waiting for. But many blessings come from your action. (I am not saying you earn blessings but God does react to our actions.)

There is another thread out about Ruth and Boaz. Ruth had to act in order to get her man. Otherwise she would have just been another gleaner.
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#33
May 23, 2009
16,761
5,661
113
#33
allforfun said:
I missed the zombies.

Oy, I miss all the good things. :eek:
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I've dated a few guys who could probably qualify as zombies... "living dead" seems like an apt statement at least, maybe even exaggerated on the "living" part...

I think it's REALLY hard to meet anyone nowadays no matter what. I mean, even if you're out and about, what are the chances that you're going to speak to someone long enough to really get to know them? That doesn't happen very often. People are generally too busy with their own lives to pay much attention to anyone else.

I've tried joining Bible studies and so forth, not just for dating but to meet people in general and it never works! I'm never part of the "in" crowd or else they're all 20-30 years older... I also seem to meet the most people at work but it's not like I'm going to try to take on extra jobs just to try to meet a guy...

All my sympathies to the other homebodies out there--I can really relate to that. I was never into the drunken party scene at all, nor am I into gatherings that force you to resort to mass repetitions of horribly mundane small talk...
 
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kayem77

Guest
#34
#34
Jullianna said:
My intent with this thread wasn't so much about finding a match, it was that so many times we're attracted to the WRONG people in the WRONG places, so some suggestions would be nice. :)

I do agree that God has it under control if He means for us to be with someone. I used to be one of those people who thought God would shove someone in front of me one day, but now I'm beginning to wonder if He expects me to do something too. I don't know and I'm not yet eager enough for a permanent relationship to find out. :) Especially after reading about so many bad experiences here.
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Hi, Julianna . :) I think He does wants us to do something, not to be focused on that, but to know when to make a movement and not just stay there and expecting Him to propose and everything for us.

A joke I heard in the Pursuit of Happynes movie with Will Smith comes to my mind (I know, things like those "always come to my mind" :rolleyes:) where a guy was drowning in the middle of the sea because his ship sank or something like that, and a boat comes to save him but the man says "No thnx, God is going to save me!" and the boat goes aways. Then, another boat comes to save him again and the man responds again "No thanks, God is going to save me!". The same thing happened again and then the man finally died. When he went to Heaven he asked God "why didn't You saved me?" and God responds " I sent you 3 big boats you dummy!"

I don't know if anybody here heard the joke before but I loved it , especially hearing it with little Jayden Smith's voice. I think God wants us to respond to his movements and be very active towards them.
Don't be discouraged for another person's experience, everybody would be single if we do that.... or maybe we would be considering joining " the other team" . :eek:
 
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Jullianna

Guest
#35
#35
That's one of my favorite stories, kayem. :)

I never really thought much about it before the past few months. Maybe I shouldn't spend so much time in this forum. haha

I'm not ready. I know that now. When the time comes, we'll see what happens. :)
 
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thimsrebma

Guest
#36
#36
zeroturbulence said:
Honestly, if a woman came up to me in church and expressed some interest in getting to know me better it would creep me out big time. I imagine the same would happen if a man approached a woman in church.
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Okay Gabe, Yes, I got it right this time!

Anyway, this is weird. So today after bible study I was just chatting to different people and I young man who I see often was wearing his work outfit so I asked him where he worked and we got to talking for a bit. Then out of nowhere he asks "So are you married? Cause I've never seen your husband"

I smiled and politely said "No, I am single."

It was so akward.
 
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kayem77

Guest
#37
#37
thimsrebma said:
Okay Gabe, Yes, I got it right this time!

Anyway, this is weird. So today after bible study I was just chatting to different people and I young man who I see often was wearing his work outfit so I asked him where he worked and we got to talking for a bit. Then out of nowhere he asks "So are you married? Cause I've never seen your husband"

I smiled and politely said "No, I am single."

It was so akward.
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Hmmm...the "so where's your husband, I haven't seen him ?" trick. Subtle...
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#38
Aug 2, 2009
24,653
4,316
113
#38
thimsrebma said:
Okay Gabe, Yes, I got it right this time!

Anyway, this is weird. So today after bible study I was just chatting to different people and I young man who I see often was wearing his work outfit so I asked him where he worked and we got to talking for a bit. Then out of nowhere he asks "So are you married? Cause I've never seen your husband"

I smiled and politely said "No, I am single."

It was so akward.
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Aww thats great Amber!! Are you attracted to him? You should ask him to coffee or something.
 
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persecuted

Banned
#39
Jun 15, 2011
308
0
0
#39
To put this another way, after joining Christian groups and having the girls give speeches about how they wanted "bad boys", (Never sure what "bad boys" means exactly, but does seem to mean guys upfront about casual sex.) and having the self proclaimed "conservative christian" girl wave at me from a night club dance floor with some stranger's hands up her skirt. This image is forever etched into my mind of why not to bother with Christian girls and to rather just be in the situation of every other single person complaining about not knowing where to find a worthwhile partner. To me there really is no reason to bother trying to find a "christian" girl when they are not acting very christian anyhow.
 
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