Is continued ongoing emotional trauma proof of unforgiveness?

[Aslanfriend]

I've been thinking a lot about this lately. Ok. Here is the scenario: I pray something like this: "I forgive them! every single person who has hurt me, I forgive them in Jesus name! Because of you Jesus dying for my sins I am able to forgive them, amen."

But then.... later very painful emotional wounds from the very people I thought I forgave (certain people far in my past) keep repeating to rear their ugly heads. And I think, "But Lord, I forgave them and you healed me of all that stuff from so long ago, right??" By His wounds/stripes we are healed....I believe this...and it's directly from scripture too!

So since the pain keeps returning over and over and over and over....It makes me wonder: Did I NOT really forgive them from the bottom of my heart? Is that why I still hurt? Could it be proof that I didn't REALLY forgive them, but just doing the motions because I'm supposed to and because God asks me to forgive everyone who has wronged me. I can't find the Bible verse that says He won't forgive us unless we forgive others first. That's a serious statement.

Any thoughts? advice on this topic? it's really stressing me out. And I can't stop the cycle of forgive/hurt/forgive again/hurt and cry/forgive again. And I'm not ready to see a counselor or therapist again, at least not right now. It's really hard to find a good one who is also Christian..and the good ones are too expensive for me anyway. My church doesn't have counseling services that I can use either....and I don't have anyone I can trust to talk to in person about this either. (some of the hurts are from friends abandoning me....so no close friends in my life)

 

[soberxp]

Matthew
6:7 But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.
6:8 Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.
6:9 After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.
6:10 Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.
6:11 Give us this day our daily bread.
6:12 And forgive us our debts, as we forgive others debtors.
6:13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.
6:14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:

 

[Alice1]

I've been thinking a lot about this lately. Ok. Here is the scenario: I pray something like this: "I forgive them! every single person who has hurt me, I forgive them in Jesus name! Because of you Jesus dying for my sins I am able to forgive them, amen."

But then.... later very painful emotional wounds from the very people I thought I forgave (certain people far in my past) keep repeating to rear their ugly heads. And I think, "But Lord, I forgave them and you healed me of all that stuff from so long ago, right??" By His wounds/stripes we are healed....I believe this...and it's directly from scripture too!

So since the pain keeps returning over and over and over and over....It makes me wonder: Did I NOT really forgive them from the bottom of my heart? Is that why I still hurt? Could it be proof that I didn't REALLY forgive them, but just doing the motions because I'm supposed to and because God asks me to forgive everyone who has wronged me. I can't find the Bible verse that says He won't forgive us unless we forgive others first. That's a serious statement.

Any thoughts? advice on this topic? it's really stressing me out. And I can't stop the cycle of forgive/hurt/forgive again/hurt and cry/forgive again. And I'm not ready to see a counselor or therapist again, at least not right now. It's really hard to find a good one who is also Christian..and the good ones are too expensive for me anyway. My church doesn't have counseling services that I can use either....and I don't have anyone I can trust to talk to in person about this either. (some of the hurts are from friends abandoning me....so no close friends in my life)

Jesus goes on to say if we forgive other people when they sin against us, our heavenly Father will also forgive us. But if we do not forgive others their sins, our Father will not forgive our sins.

Sin disrupts our relationship with God. Since unforgiveness is a sin, it disrupts our relationship with God.

Jesus taught His disciples in the Sermon on the Mount about worshipping God and unresolved conflicts. He said that when we offer our gift at the altar and remember that our brother or sister has something against us, we need to first leave our gift before the altar, be reconciled with them, and then offer our gift. In other words, unless we reconcile with our brother or sister, we cannot have a right relationship with our Heavenly Father.

We cannot claim to have a good relationship with God if we do not get along with one another.

I myself don’t have any close friends, I have been hurt so many times by my family and close friends. They always believed what was heard and what was heard isn’t always true.
They criticized and judged me and took advantage of my kindness. Guess what? I forgave them with all my heart and forget. Whenever they asked me for help I do it with all my heart without thinking how much they hurt me or the wrong done to me. I still choose to help them.
If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the LORD will reward you.
( Proverbs 25:21-23)

Unforgiveness is like sitting on a swing in a playground. The more we think about the wrong done to us, we push ourselves higher and further away from where we are supposed to be,

The world looks different to us. Everything around us is a haze. We lose control of ourselves. Emotions take over. Bitterness governs our thoughts, and deep-rooted resentment takes center stage. But when we try to halt the swing by attempting to place our feet on the ground, the swing gradually slows down, bringing it to a halt, and finally, we can get down from it. Similarly, when we stop mulling over the past and the wrong done to us, the swing will slow down, finally enabling us to forgive and forget.

Prayer: Heavenly Father, I surrender my hurt and pain to you. I choose to forgive those who hurt me so I may have a right relationship with you. Help me overcome.

 

[TMS]

So since the pain keeps returning over and over and over and over....It makes me wonder: Did I NOT really forgive them from the bottom of my heart? Is that why I still hurt? Could it be proof that I didn't REALLY forgive them, but just doing the motions because I'm supposed to and because God asks me to forgive everyone who has wronged me. I can't find the Bible verse that says He won't forgive us unless we forgive others first. That's a serious statement.

Any thoughts?

Hi, i can only share my experience, but everyones experience is different, so no one should judge you.
All forgiveness comes from God, without Him we can't even forgive the smallest thing.
If you want to and have chosen to forgive God knows it and makes it possible.
The pain isn't a sign that you haven't forgiven.
Forgiveness doesn't mean you forget. It helps you forget and it helps the wounds to heal but forgiveness doesnt make the pain go away.
The devil will use feelings and emotions to tempt you to doubt.
I found that if you can remember a bible verse like Mat 11:28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

Whenever the pain comes give it to Jesus and in the name of Jesus tell the devil to get behind you.

Trust in God, the trying of your faith will only make you stronger.

Pro 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. 6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

1Pe 1:7 That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:

Hold onto the promises and even when it doesn't feel like it, trust that God want to help you.

 

[JaumeJ]

I've been thinking a lot about this lately. Ok. Here is the scenario: I pray something like this: "I forgive them! every single person who has hurt me, I forgive them in Jesus name! Because of you Jesus dying for my sins I am able to forgive them, amen."

But then.... later very painful emotional wounds from the very people I thought I forgave (certain people far in my past) keep repeating to rear their ugly heads. And I think, "But Lord, I forgave them and you healed me of all that stuff from so long ago, right??" By His wounds/stripes we are healed....I believe this...and it's directly from scripture too!

So since the pain keeps returning over and over and over and over....It makes me wonder: Did I NOT really forgive them from the bottom of my heart? Is that why I still hurt? Could it be proof that I didn't REALLY forgive them, but just doing the motions because I'm supposed to and because God asks me to forgive everyone who has wronged me. I can't find the Bible verse that says He won't forgive us unless we forgive others first. That's a serious statement.

Any thoughts? advice on this topic? it's really stressing me out. And I can't stop the cycle of forgive/hurt/forgive again/hurt and cry/forgive again. And I'm not ready to see a counselor or therapist again, at least not right now. It's really hard to find a good one who is also Christian..and the good ones are too expensive for me anyway. My church doesn't have counseling services that I can use either....and I don't have anyone I can trust to talk to in person about this either. (some of the hurts are from friends abandoning me....so no close friends in my life)

When we forgive others for hurting us, it is not wise to ever forget what they have done to us. We do forgive them, but we are never to approve of what they have perpetrated against us, lest we fall into their diong it over and over. Yes the pain remains when it comes to mind, but we are free to forgive and overcome.
Sometimes those who have harmed us repent to Jesus Yeshua and become true family in the Messiah. We pray for this to occur always. However the induced pain will always tremor to mind, and this is normal, asl long as you do not becom vindictive, which I do not believe you have done. God bless you always.

 

[NOV25]

I've been thinking a lot about this lately. Ok. Here is the scenario: I pray something like this: "I forgive them! every single person who has hurt me, I forgive them in Jesus name! Because of you Jesus dying for my sins I am able to forgive them, amen."

But then.... later very painful emotional wounds from the very people I thought I forgave (certain people far in my past) keep repeating to rear their ugly heads. And I think, "But Lord, I forgave them and you healed me of all that stuff from so long ago, right??" By His wounds/stripes we are healed....I believe this...and it's directly from scripture too!

So since the pain keeps returning over and over and over and over....It makes me wonder: Did I NOT really forgive them from the bottom of my heart? Is that why I still hurt? Could it be proof that I didn't REALLY forgive them, but just doing the motions because I'm supposed to and because God asks me to forgive everyone who has wronged me. I can't find the Bible verse that says He won't forgive us unless we forgive others first. That's a serious statement.

Any thoughts? advice on this topic? it's really stressing me out. And I can't stop the cycle of forgive/hurt/forgive again/hurt and cry/forgive again. And I'm not ready to see a counselor or therapist again, at least not right now. It's really hard to find a good one who is also Christian..and the good ones are too expensive for me anyway. My church doesn't have counseling services that I can use either....and I don't have anyone I can trust to talk to in person about this either. (some of the hurts are from friends abandoning me....so no close friends in my life)

Continuously reliving past trauma could mean many things, the “why” is hard (or sometimes not meant for us) to determine.

Could be that you haven’t forgiven them, could be you haven’t forgiven yourself, could be to keep you from future pain caused by similar situations, could be to drive you closer to Christ, could be so that you can help others in similar situations… Could be a combination of all these things. 🤷‍♂️

Things we know for a fact, the Lord knows your pain and peace will come at his timing for his reasons and for his glory.

Communion with God in prayer, his word and his people, not for our own prosperity (or in this case, release of past trauma) but for his glory in that we focus on the ministry he’s given us, that we share our testimony and the gospel of the grace of God…

Acts 20:24

[24] But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.

This verse has always stuck with me, has helped me to remember this life (and all the things that come with it) isn’t important in the grand scheme…

 

[SACREDWARRIOR]

Hello,
It's difficult to let go of the emotional side of being hurt, particularly if it is someone you loved and were very close to.....I have a son & Grandchildren I likely will never see again due to my sons unwillingness to reconcile (only God knows). The pain and struggle are real.. I've forgiven Him completely, but the pain still exists....That does not equate to sin or unforgiveness. it should and does for me lead me to understand that my Hope isnt in my Family, or My friends, or Any Human....but IN JESUS ALONE......His Friends betrayed him as well!! God Created emotion they are meant to empower, remind, protect, etc...but as all good things we as sinful humans at times abuse and or misuse those gifts.
Pray diligently for those who hurt you, and that you might know how to LOVE THEM......and completely forgive them....
THE BATTLE RAGES TIL THE LION ROARS!!
Clarence

 

[pottersclay]

I've been thinking a lot about this lately. Ok. Here is the scenario: I pray something like this: "I forgive them! every single person who has hurt me, I forgive them in Jesus name! Because of you Jesus dying for my sins I am able to forgive them, amen."

But then.... later very painful emotional wounds from the very people I thought I forgave (certain people far in my past) keep repeating to rear their ugly heads. And I think, "But Lord, I forgave them and you healed me of all that stuff from so long ago, right??" By His wounds/stripes we are healed....I believe this...and it's directly from scripture too!

So since the pain keeps returning over and over and over and over....It makes me wonder: Did I NOT really forgive them from the bottom of my heart? Is that why I still hurt? Could it be proof that I didn't REALLY forgive them, but just doing the motions because I'm supposed to and because God asks me to forgive everyone who has wronged me. I can't find the Bible verse that says He won't forgive us unless we forgive others first. That's a serious statement.

Any thoughts? advice on this topic? it's really stressing me out. And I can't stop the cycle of forgive/hurt/forgive again/hurt and cry/forgive again. And I'm not ready to see a counselor or therapist again, at least not right now. It's really hard to find a good one who is also Christian..and the good ones are too expensive for me anyway. My church doesn't have counseling services that I can use either....and I don't have anyone I can trust to talk to in person about this either. (some of the hurts are from friends abandoning me....so no close friends in my life)

You have done all that you can do as not holding them accountable for there offenses.
Now do that which which is required to gain....pray for them ...pray for there salvation, for the softening of there heart.
Have your prayers focused on there well being.
God is doing a work in you of forgiveness. If they left you because of your faith praise God,...and your not alone.
Now let the Holy Spirit do his work in the mending. Are you being convicted or condemned? Conviction is of the Lord.
Condemnation is of satan.

 

[ResidentAlien]

I've been thinking a lot about this lately. Ok. Here is the scenario: I pray something like this: "I forgive them! every single person who has hurt me, I forgive them in Jesus name! Because of you Jesus dying for my sins I am able to forgive them, amen."

But then.... later very painful emotional wounds from the very people I thought I forgave (certain people far in my past) keep repeating to rear their ugly heads. And I think, "But Lord, I forgave them and you healed me of all that stuff from so long ago, right??" By His wounds/stripes we are healed....I believe this...and it's directly from scripture too!

So since the pain keeps returning over and over and over and over....It makes me wonder: Did I NOT really forgive them from the bottom of my heart? Is that why I still hurt? Could it be proof that I didn't REALLY forgive them, but just doing the motions because I'm supposed to and because God asks me to forgive everyone who has wronged me. I can't find the Bible verse that says He won't forgive us unless we forgive others first. That's a serious statement.

Any thoughts? advice on this topic? it's really stressing me out. And I can't stop the cycle of forgive/hurt/forgive again/hurt and cry/forgive again. And I'm not ready to see a counselor or therapist again, at least not right now. It's really hard to find a good one who is also Christian..and the good ones are too expensive for me anyway. My church doesn't have counseling services that I can use either....and I don't have anyone I can trust to talk to in person about this either. (some of the hurts are from friends abandoning me....so no close friends in my life)

The only advice I could offer is rather than making a declarative statement: "I forgive them in Jesus name! Because of you Jesus dying for my sins I am able to forgive them, amen," frame it in the form of a humble request. After all, that's what a prayer is. You must surrender to Him and let Him do it for you. I know it's fashionable these days to make "prayer declarations," but personally I'd stay away from them.

 

[Subhumanoidal]

I've been thinking a lot about this lately. Ok. Here is the scenario: I pray something like this: "I forgive them! every single person who has hurt me, I forgive them in Jesus name! Because of you Jesus dying for my sins I am able to forgive them, amen."

But then.... later very painful emotional wounds from the very people I thought I forgave (certain people far in my past) keep repeating to rear their ugly heads. And I think, "But Lord, I forgave them and you healed me of all that stuff from so long ago, right??" By His wounds/stripes we are healed....I believe this...and it's directly from scripture too!

So since the pain keeps returning over and over and over and over....It makes me wonder: Did I NOT really forgive them from the bottom of my heart? Is that why I still hurt? Could it be proof that I didn't REALLY forgive them, but just doing the motions because I'm supposed to and because God asks me to forgive everyone who has wronged me. I can't find the Bible verse that says He won't forgive us unless we forgive others first. That's a serious statement.

Any thoughts? advice on this topic? it's really stressing me out. And I can't stop the cycle of forgive/hurt/forgive again/hurt and cry/forgive again. And I'm not ready to see a counselor or therapist again, at least not right now. It's really hard to find a good one who is also Christian..and the good ones are too expensive for me anyway. My church doesn't have counseling services that I can use either....and I don't have anyone I can trust to talk to in person about this either. (some of the hurts are from friends abandoning me....so no close friends in my life)

A person falls and breaks their hip. In time it heals, yet the rest of their life they're able to feel pain or discomfort as a result. Does that mean it's not healed? No. It means things can affect us after being healed, even.
Forgiveness does not mean forgetting. Nor does it mean it never happened. It means you don't hold it against them. But, again, that doesn't mean you were never hurt. Nor that the hurt magically stops.

Also I believe people overestimate how easy forgiveness is. You can't just say you've done it and poof, it happens. Often times it can be a process that takes time. Most people I've known that had deep hurts were convinced they forgave when it was plain as day they hadn't. In some cases it took them years to finally admit and recognize it.

 

[oyster67]

Is continued ongoing emotional trauma proof of unforgiveness?


It is proof that our adversary, the accuser of the brethren, is real.

1 Peter 5:8
“Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:”

Stand fast in the faith, dear brother.

But then.... later very painful emotional wounds from the very people I thought I forgave (certain people far in my past) keep repeating to rear their ugly heads. And I think, "But Lord, I forgave them and you healed me of all that stuff from so long ago, right??" By His wounds/stripes we are healed....I believe this...and it's directly from scripture too!

Forgiving is one thing, but forgetting is something else. Healing often takes time. Let's go to the Lord together and pray that it might begin today.

 

[Mem]

Yes, I'd say that (mis)understanding holds the key to unreleased pain. In the same way one should mourn a loved one's death rather than try to hold back tears, we shouldn't try to 'explain away' the hurt. Mourning is important that, in some cultures, that 'keening women' are hired for funerals who wail in grief. Imo, although the expression has become a byword, keening is the definition of 'good grief.'

 

[Bob-Carabbio]

Any thoughts? advice on this topic?

SURE. What you need to do whenever satan's folks start hammering you with past things in order to cause you pain, tell 'em to stick their garbage where the sun don't shine. do it with anger and conviction - when you resist him or his folks, they'll flee from you - for a while. Occasionally I'll SHOUT at 'em (not in public, of course).

 

[oyster67]

Occasionally I'll SHOUT at 'em (not in public, of course).

No, of course not. We all know you are the quiet and shy type, Bob.

 

[Cameron143]

I've been thinking a lot about this lately. Ok. Here is the scenario: I pray something like this: "I forgive them! every single person who has hurt me, I forgive them in Jesus name! Because of you Jesus dying for my sins I am able to forgive them, amen."

But then.... later very painful emotional wounds from the very people I thought I forgave (certain people far in my past) keep repeating to rear their ugly heads. And I think, "But Lord, I forgave them and you healed me of all that stuff from so long ago, right??" By His wounds/stripes we are healed....I believe this...and it's directly from scripture too!

So since the pain keeps returning over and over and over and over....It makes me wonder: Did I NOT really forgive them from the bottom of my heart? Is that why I still hurt? Could it be proof that I didn't REALLY forgive them, but just doing the motions because I'm supposed to and because God asks me to forgive everyone who has wronged me. I can't find the Bible verse that says He won't forgive us unless we forgive others first. That's a serious statement.

Any thoughts? advice on this topic? it's really stressing me out. And I can't stop the cycle of forgive/hurt/forgive again/hurt and cry/forgive again. And I'm not ready to see a counselor or therapist again, at least not right now. It's really hard to find a good one who is also Christian..and the good ones are too expensive for me anyway. My church doesn't have counseling services that I can use either....and I don't have anyone I can trust to talk to in person about this either. (some of the hurts are from friends abandoning me....so no close friends in my life)

I feel very deeply for you and your situation. Your forgiveness is real. And it is now natural for you to desire to forgive others. But the depth of your wounds is making this difficult for you because you question your sincerity as you continue to experience pain when considering those who are the source of your pain.
The answer lies in understanding your emotions, what they mean, where they come from, and how to respond to them.
Emotions are to emotional disfunction what pain is to physical disfunction. Just as physical pain points us to a physical ailment, emotional pain indicates that an emotional problem exists.
Emotions themselves are not sinful. But acting upon our emotions often is. Why do we do that? It is often because we don't understand the origin of our emotions. Before sin entered the world, the only emotions experienced were positive. But after the Fall, new and negative emotions emerged. Adam and Eve covered themselves because of shame and hid out of fear. Now guilt and fear entered the emotional spectrum. Later, when Cain's sacrifice wasn't accepted, his countenance fell and in anger rose against Abel. Now depression and anger entered the emotional arena.
In your hurt you probably experience some of these emotions and more. To experience them is normal; to act on them is probably what is leading to your conflict.
So how should someone respond? The easy answer is in love. But how do we do that practically?
Here are a few things you can do to start:
Continue to pray as you are. Only Jesus can reach and heal your pain.
As you pray, pray also for those who have harmed you. They, too, are broken and in need of healing.
Start changing your thought life. Philippians 4:8 gives a wonderful list of things to think on.
Ask God to put someone in your life to come beside you and encourage you through this process.
I'll be praying for you. And if there is anything I can do, just let me know. Be encouraged...God never fails.

 

[Magenta]

So since the pain keeps returning over and over and over and over....It makes me wonder:

Have you examined the circumstances under which you were able to be
so deeply hurt by others, and taken responsibility for the part you played
in allowing those events to play out as they did?

 

[Magenta]

I'm not ready to see a counselor or therapist again, at least not right now. It's really hard to find a good one who is also Christian
..and the good ones are too expensive for me anyway. My church doesn't have counseling services that I can use either....

Is your pastor not available, nor any elders? .

 

[Pilgrimshope]

I've been thinking a lot about this lately. Ok. Here is the scenario: I pray something like this: "I forgive them! every single person who has hurt me, I forgive them in Jesus name! Because of you Jesus dying for my sins I am able to forgive them, amen."

But then.... later very painful emotional wounds from the very people I thought I forgave (certain people far in my past) keep repeating to rear their ugly heads. And I think, "But Lord, I forgave them and you healed me of all that stuff from so long ago, right??" By His wounds/stripes we are healed....I believe this...and it's directly from scripture too!

So since the pain keeps returning over and over and over and over....It makes me wonder: Did I NOT really forgive them from the bottom of my heart? Is that why I still hurt? Could it be proof that I didn't REALLY forgive them, but just doing the motions because I'm supposed to and because God asks me to forgive everyone who has wronged me. I can't find the Bible verse that says He won't forgive us unless we forgive others first. That's a serious statement.

Any thoughts? advice on this topic? it's really stressing me out. And I can't stop the cycle of forgive/hurt/forgive again/hurt and cry/forgive again. And I'm not ready to see a counselor or therapist again, at least not right now. It's really hard to find a good one who is also Christian..and the good ones are too expensive for me anyway. My church doesn't have counseling services that I can use either....and I don't have anyone I can trust to talk to in person about this either. (some of the hurts are from friends abandoning me....so no close friends in my life)

Wounds leave scars sometimes if you look at the spot you still see the scar if someone were to cut your hand off , and you forgave them , you still are going to have to deal with having only one hand and the emotional impact it had on you losing your hand

air doesn’t mean your holding anything against the person who took your hand , but your reality is now to deal with things only with one hand .


Maybe doesn’t make sense but what I’m saying is I don’t think having scars from things that hurt in the past means you haven’t forgiven those things , it’s probably my just dealing with the hurtful impact those throngs had on your soul

air sounds like your in need of healing but it also sounds like you don’t have a grudge

 

[Sheariah07]

I've been thinking a lot about this lately. Ok. Here is the scenario: I pray something like this: "I forgive them! every single person who has hurt me, I forgive them in Jesus name! Because of you Jesus dying for my sins I am able to forgive them, amen."

But then.... later very painful emotional wounds from the very people I thought I forgave (certain people far in my past) keep repeating to rear their ugly heads. And I think, "But Lord, I forgave them and you healed me of all that stuff from so long ago, right??" By His wounds/stripes we are healed....I believe this...and it's directly from scripture too!

So since the pain keeps returning over and over and over and over....It makes me wonder: Did I NOT really forgive them from the bottom of my heart? Is that why I still hurt? Could it be proof that I didn't REALLY forgive them, but just doing the motions because I'm supposed to and because God asks me to forgive everyone who has wronged me. I can't find the Bible verse that says He won't forgive us unless we forgive others first. That's a serious statement.

Any thoughts? advice on this topic? it's really stressing me out. And I can't stop the cycle of forgive/hurt/forgive again/hurt and cry/forgive again. And I'm not ready to see a counselor or therapist again, at least not right now. It's really hard to find a good one who is also Christian..and the good ones are too expensive for me anyway. My church doesn't have counseling services that I can use either....and I don't have anyone I can trust to talk to in person about this either. (some of the hurts are from friends abandoning me....so no close friends in my life)

Hello! That's so nice of you. You are looking at your heart and being honest. It's a serious statement of God indeed. The Lord is making you realize that you cannot do it with your power but he wants you to come to him and ask him to empower you to forgive because you can't. He helps us in our helpless state, that's how his saving power works. Why are you looking for human counselors? God is our only Counselor and it's free to consult everything to him. He made you, all your being, none is hidden from him. Talk to your Creator and tell him all your longings and requests about growing in the faith. If you'd like to talk, just tell me. ❤️

 

[Dino246]

I've been thinking a lot about this lately. Ok. Here is the scenario: I pray something like this: "I forgive them! every single person who has hurt me, I forgive them in Jesus name! Because of you Jesus dying for my sins I am able to forgive them, amen."

But then.... later very painful emotional wounds from the very people I thought I forgave (certain people far in my past) keep repeating to rear their ugly heads. And I think, "But Lord, I forgave them and you healed me of all that stuff from so long ago, right??" By His wounds/stripes we are healed....I believe this...and it's directly from scripture too!

So since the pain keeps returning over and over and over and over....It makes me wonder: Did I NOT really forgive them from the bottom of my heart? Is that why I still hurt? Could it be proof that I didn't REALLY forgive them, but just doing the motions because I'm supposed to and because God asks me to forgive everyone who has wronged me. I can't find the Bible verse that says He won't forgive us unless we forgive others first. That's a serious statement.

Any thoughts? advice on this topic? it's really stressing me out. And I can't stop the cycle of forgive/hurt/forgive again/hurt and cry/forgive again. And I'm not ready to see a counselor or therapist again, at least not right now. It's really hard to find a good one who is also Christian..and the good ones are too expensive for me anyway. My church doesn't have counseling services that I can use either....and I don't have anyone I can trust to talk to in person about this either. (some of the hurts are from friends abandoning me....so no close friends in my life)

Forgiving is like setting a broken bone. The healing is not immediate. Invite the Lord into the broken place in your heart and ask His restoration.

Forgiving those who hurt you is only part of the problem. There's also the matter of repenting of your sin of trying to get something from others that only the Lord can give you. You can't get unconditional love and acceptance from other people. Seek it from the Lord instead.