sexual compatibility

[Elizabeth619]

Jullianna, You probably won't see this in time and also rip me a new one, as im finding out this site is a fragile one. Who knew? Live and learn I guess.

Anyhow, My original post was not in ANY way meant to be perverted or offending. I hope you realise this. Im thinking you wont, hence me writing this comment.

Im sorry if I offended you cause I SURE didn't mean too... BUT, I certainly offended many others. So, to be clear, I didn't intend to offend YOU. I can't help if I offend other people who im not even responding to but to you im sorry for anything that was out of line. I hope you can see thru the possibly (bad) examples I gave and just see the simple point I was trying to make, that:

God will bring someone into your life that you are compatible with in every way, including sexually.

Peace...

You tried so hard.....

 

[princessbella]

Settle down dude. Did you just watch Braveheart? It's a good movie for sure. I understand your need to make yourself look good by making me look bad. It's an old trick, and a good one. Bravo.

But, unless you're moses, im not sure who "your" people are?

i thin this argument needs to stop now as its gone way off topic of the thread people have said what they needed to say , Chuck i respectfully say it would be great if you got help for your sex porn addiction because it has spilled out onto this thread, to soomeone who you dont know anything about.. As liamson pointed out Julianna is not just an avtar but a real person who did this thread for a genuine reason.. We could argue with you all day that you were wrong to attack julianna in a way that wsnt decent but unless you realise you were wrong then its gonna go back and forth and create nastiness on the forums... Were not are unwelcoming as you might think just defending her and we dont hate you,

god bless you

 

[Jullianna]

So, after reading this post three times ( two all the way, one skim) im still not even sure what it is you're talking about. What's your beef? That some people are legalistic in marriage? That the marriage bed in NOT undefiled? This bothers you that much? Why?

Were you in a legalistic marriage? Are you worried that you might meet some guy who won't lick your toes? Don't sweat it Jullianaa, he's out there! It seems you let certain doubts creep in that you might end up marrying a "square".

Are you ashamed to believe God for a guy who will use a little coolwhip? Are you trying to convince yourself that God hasn't been affected by the legalists?

Don't worry jullianna, God knows your a freaky deeky in the bedroom and will bring someone into your life who is compatible. No need to air your doubts out here or try to convince God in a forum of believers not to cave in to peer pressure. He knows better. Keep the FAITH Jullianna!

Just as Paul found it offensive that some within the church sought to place God's children back under the law, I find it offensive when some people try to tell them that Genesis 2 now means that sex within marriage is dirty and if we don't think so, we need to go hide under a rock somewhere. People didn't like what he said, so I fully realize they might not like what I have to say either. I'm okay with that. I'm tempted to ask whether I've dumbed it down enough for ya, but that might be a little too mean, huh?

Beyond the highlighted sentence of your post I saw only personal attack junk from a total stranger who apparently woke up in the middle of the night with a brain freeze. It happens to all of us from time to time. No worries.


P.S. - I addressed how I feel about my feet in another thread


P.S.S. - Thank you, Liamson. Chivalry is not dead and I appreciate. I know other ladies do as well. Elizabeth, thank you, too, for your kindness

 

[seoulsearch]

Just wanted to apologize for the fact that this thread has become so derailed.... maybe because I talked about my personal thoughts about why women are offended by porn...

I'm sorry, Jullianna!! What a terrible outcome for a thread!!! I certainly didn't mean for it to melt into so much disrespect, and for that, I am deeply sorry.

(Had to laugh about the foot issues... Good to know we can still keep a sense of humor!)

 

[Jullianna]

i thin this argument needs to stop now as its gone way off topic of the thread people have said what they needed to say , Chuck i respectfully say it would be great if you got help for your sex porn addiction because it has spilled out onto this thread, to soomeone who you dont know anything about.. As liamson pointed out Julianna is not just an avtar but a real person who did this thread for a genuine reason.. We could argue with you all day that you were wrong to attack julianna in a way that wsnt decent but unless you realise you were wrong then its gonna go back and forth and create nastiness on the forums... Were not are unwelcoming as you might think just defending her and we dont hate you,

god bless you

Thank you, princessbella. I really do think he was just trying to be funny and truly didn't understand my point. My brain does work a lil on the freaky side sometimes, but it's fun for me.

love you girl!

 

[Jullianna]

Just wanted to apologize for the fact that this thread has become so derailed.... maybe because I talked about my personal thoughts about why women are offended by porn...

I'm sorry, Jullianna!! What a terrible outcome for a thread!!! I certainly didn't mean for it to melt into so much disrespect, and for that, I am deeply sorry.

(Had to laugh about the foot issues... Good to know we can still keep a sense of humor!)

No need to apologize. I got a good CHUCKle out of it (bad......I know...I'm not awake yet. Best I could do).

I'm not really sure there has been a derailment since the idea was to create a thread where people could ask honest, RESPECTFUL questions and receive honest, RESPECTFUL answers. I think it's done that for the most part.

Which also leads me to say that I appreciate your posts here, dothackzero. Perhaps some things that have been said here will be helpful to you.

 

[seoulsearch]

For the record, since the subject of feet was brought up... I've had one pedicure in my life and the whole time, the technician kept rubbing my feet and making comments about them. She kept saying that I had the softest, smoothest feet she'd ever worked on (which is odd, because I go walking all the time, so it's not like I try to keep my feet preserved or anything!) But no, she didn't try to do anything strange to my feet, nor did she douse them in cool whip or any other edible condiment...

And THAT was the closest I've ever encountered as far as a foot fetish goes...

Of course, if I ever dated a guy who liked feet, he would have to like sneakers, seeing as they're almost all I wear.

 

[NukePooch]

~woke up from a good night's sleep...looks around the room~

So...How was everyone's night? And where did all these dead bodies come from?

 

[Jullianna]

I'll get the mop.................................

 

[Jullianna]

GreenNNice, I’m truly not ignoring your posts, Brother. I simply haven’t mastered Greeneeze yet. J I get to about the third line of one of your posts and the side of my face starts to twitch. J What I have come away with is that for some reason you are uncomfortable with the topic of sex within the marital relationship, which is the topic of this thread. When I’m uncomfortable with a topic, I usually just stop reading it and move to another thread.

I guess it just comes down to this… I believe that the Bible is God-breathed, though I realize some folks don’t. Intimacy between a husband and wife was one of the first things God chose to address after Creation (as set out in the initial post) ..before the fall. There’s an entire book in the Bible about it. Soooo…it would probably be pretty tough to convince me that it’s not okay to discuss it in a PRO-MARRIAGE, PRO-PURITY-BEFORE-MARRIAGE, PRO-FAMILY, PRO-GOD, ANTI-PORNOGRAPHIC manner. We’ve even had respectful Bible studies on it in the Bible study room. J

I’ve created quite a few threads in this forum. This is my first on this topic, so it’s clearly not an obsession, just something that was on my mind for a couple of days that I thought might be helpful to someone. J

Anyway, God bless, Green. I’m sure that, whatever it was you said, you meant well. J

 

[Jullianna]

One unmarried poster seemed to imply that communication about such matters isn’t important simply because one couple who apparently didn’t discuss it (as far as she knows I suppose) is still married. I guess I’m just wondering how the existence of a thing somehow implies that it’s completely healthy and that there’s no room for improvement, particularly in the area of communication, but that’s just me…*shrugs*

 

[Megatron]

~~~~
What is the point to talk about sb4m? Don't do it, don't talk about it, talk about things that are going to be important for your marriage like kids, family, likes, dislikes. Why would you want to talk about sex before marriage? How does that do anything but put pressure on you to have sex before marriage? The act is something SACRED, set for marriage.

I am not an expert on the subject, by any means, OK, I admit it, by NO means. But I just , megaT, do not think God wants any people-young, old, or between young and old-that are engaged, and, especially just dating, to talk about that 'stuff' before marriage. I am not sure in scripture where it stays that but human sexuality is not something you want to broadcast, for it causes feelings in us, especially we guys that think about SEX (so a poll says) , every SEVEN MINUTES . Women think about sex not as often, in fact, they think about communication every SEVEN SECONDS. OK, ladies, I was just kidding, it's every 10 seconds
~~~
It is recommended that couples go to pre-marital counseling and I don't even think the counselor approaches that subject. I could be wrong because I've never been married nor in pre-marital counseling to see that I was READY for all marriage was.

Sorry, you don't understand me, too, Liam, but you're always getting frustrated (and that's fine, you are just not going to understand everyone). I think some of your frustration is because I type most everything out on a MyTouch 4G phone that often impossibly allows me to communicate (if that makes any sense ) and make errors and that gets to you so much you can't read through the lines. Makes perfect sense, I make no apologies for my lack of perfectionism .

I am just following God as perfect as I can but I am so NOT a perfectionist, in writing, speaking, and, certainly, reading others thoughts and trying to perfectly make response jive back responsibly for all to understand.

God be with my lack of understanding on this topic, but at least I try to make sense of it, and, I emphatically believe that Julieannie is approaching this with kid gloves, as should be the case, and, great to hear that two young ladies find what's said what God would be speaking to them through posts on here . \

Because edifying each other into erudite thinking of God's ways is EXACTLY how it should be

Maybe we should all just take a deep breath on this topic, friends, and sing a song to cheer us all up:


"Making your way in the world today takes everything you got.

Taking a break from all your worries sure would help a lot.

Wouldn't you like to get away.

Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name.
And they are always glad you came.

You want to go where people go, where troubles are all the same.

You want to go where everybody knows your name."

Well Green if that works for you, then thats fine. Personally I will want to know before I agree to marry someone that we have the same ideas and beliefs about sex, and the ways we view it. Including frequency, various, acts, and possibly all the way to the realm of various kinks and fetishes. If you believe this is promoting pre-marital sex thats fine. I personally find it a great way to avoid disappointing post-marital sex.

 

[Jullianna]

"It is recommended that couples go to pre-marital counseling and I don't even think the counselor approaches that subject. I could be wrong because I've never been married nor in pre-marital counseling to see that I was READY for all marriage was. "

I did go to premarital counseling and I've asked some christian friends who have as well this morning. All of them said the counselor brought it up, as did ours. As I said in another thread, if it's uncomfortable or someone isn't quite sure what to ask or how to ask it, this is the perfect opportunity. The counselor will know what needs to be addressed and how to do it in a respectful, professional way.

 

[allforfun]

I personally am enjoying the trips around the mulberry bush and wonder how many times we can go!

/sarcasm

 

[GreenNnice]

I personally am enjoying the trips around the mulberry bush and wonder how many times we can go!

/sarcasm

________
Are we going 'around' or 'all around?'
________
OK, megaT, I understand what you are saying, you want an all-around knowledge of who you are marrying before you marry them. I just say this phrase quite often and will say it again: The Lord leads.

So, if it is a personal relationship with Jesus that leads your life (and it should be) then do what is on your heart after FIRST speaking with God, the Holy Spirit will minister to you if you let Him. God , Jesus, Holy Spirit are ONE and they want you to have the best ONE for your life in the BEST way possible, all for bringing glory to God through your witness of Him in what you and do together in your life
_______
Good perspective, julieannie, I have never been married so I do not know pre-marital counseling but would think that 'pre-marital' sex would be something that would not need to be discussed but maybe it does need to be discussed. Idk, I really don't know. I think, for one thing, it can bring up a whole lot of other issues within the realm of that taboo topic and why do it?? Why risk it?


Why not let...the Lord lead I just don't think He will lead us into sexual thinking before marriage to the nth degree and by virtue of discussing it in depth you are doing that, I think. Again, I am far from expert and just putting in my two cents in response to discussion toward me.

God bless your walks with God !

 

[Maya86]

Well Green if that works for you, then thats fine. Personally I will want to know before I agree to marry someone that we have the same ideas and beliefs about sex, and the ways we view it. Including frequency, various, acts, and possibly all the way to the realm of various kinks and fetishes. If you believe this is promoting pre-marital sex thats fine. I personally find it a great way to avoid disappointing post-marital sex.

Lol! Megatron you got me laughin withoutout even tryin!
On a more serious note, I feel rather conflicted when it comes to discussing sexual stuff before marriage but hey.. it makes sense. I'm gonna get back to praying for the right guy.

 

[Maddog]

Oh and the other problem is when single men (and women) enjoy porn so much that they can't stop looking at it. What you have is a sexual appetite that won't go away and a forbidden food that feels very enjoyable to indulge in. Whats the solution? Besides getting married, I don't know.

And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

St Matthew 5:29-30

 

[Jullianna]

________
Good perspective, julieannie, I have never been married so I do not know pre-marital counseling but would think that 'pre-marital' sex would be something that would not need to be discussed but maybe it does need to be discussed. Idk, I really don't know. I think, for one thing, it can bring up a whole lot of other issues within the realm of that taboo topic and why do it?? Why risk it?


Why not let...the Lord lead I just don't think He will lead us into sexual thinking before marriage to the nth degree and by virtue of discussing it in depth you are doing that, I think. Again, I am far from expert and just putting in my two cents in response to discussion toward me.

God bless your walks with God !

I can understand why a gentleman such as yourself might be far more uncomfortable with this topic than a lady who was married for 15 years who's been through childbirth. Truly I can. Perhaps it's like anything else that can become an addiction - what is taboo for one is not for another.

The Lord does indeed lead. As I initially posted, I was hesitant to begin this thread because of what it might disintegrate into, but felt strongly LED to move forward. I can, however, understand how another person for whom it might be a struggle might be led to avoid such discussions. For them, opting out is always an option in these threads, right?

 

[zeroturbulence]

And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

St Matthew 5:29-30

Yes, and we would have a world full of men and women without hands

 

[Maddog]

Yes, and we would have a world full of men and women without hands

Metaphorically, yes. Which is good if it saves their soul.

Personally, this passage says to me that sooner or later I am going to have to get rid of my computer. I'm quite looking forward to it, actually.