~Chuckle for the Day~

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Zandar

Well-known member
May 16, 2023
1,605
633
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When asked who Noah's wife was, most Americans agreed it was Joan of Ark.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
27,354
9,369
113
Sounds like a Calvin and Hobbes comic that the author made to protest the stilted dialog in the soap operas of the time:


Screenshot_2023-07-03-03-32-04-40_40deb401b9ffe8e1df2f1cc5ba480b12.jpg
 

TheLearner

Well-known member
Jan 14, 2019
8,191
1,577
113
68
Brighton, MI
I just pretend it is broccoli


▢2-3 heads broccoli cut into small florets
▢1 tablespoon unsalted butter
▢1 tablespoon olive oil
▢1 small shallot finely chopped (OPTIONAL)
▢4 cloves garlic finely minced
▢kosher salt and freshly cracked black pepper
▢1 lemon juiced (1-2 tablespoons)
▢freshly grated parmesan cheese
INSTRUCTIONS

Steam or boil the broccoli until fork tender, about 7-10 minutes.
In a small skillet, melt butter with olive oil. Add shallot and saute for 90 seconds. Add garlic and saute another 30 seconds. Remove from heat.
Toss the garlic mixture with drained broccoli. Season with salt, pepper, lemon juice and freshly grated parmesan cheese to taste. Serve immediately.
NOTES
(Steam for about 10 minutes if you're making this for a small toddler who doesn't have their full set of teeth)
Nutrition Information
Calories: 176kcal | Carbohydrates: 25g | Protein: 9g | Fat: 8g | Saturated Fat: 3g | Polyunsaturated Fat: 1g | Monounsaturated Fat: 3g | Trans Fat: 0.1g | Cholesterol: 8mg | Sodium: 103mg | Potassium: 1032mg | Fiber: 9g | Sugar: 6g | Vitamin A: 1988IU | Vitamin C: 287mg | Calcium: 159mg | Iron: 3mghttps://whatsgabycooking.com/poppys-perfect-garlic-butter-broccoli/
 

TheLearner

Well-known member
Jan 14, 2019
8,191
1,577
113
68
Brighton, MI
This was simply too funny not to share with you… cat lovers beware…
1. Put both lids of the Toilet up,
And add 1/8 cup of pet
Shampoo to the water in the bowl.
2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while
You carry him towards the bathroom.
3. In one smooth movement, put the cat
In the toilet and close the lid.
You may need to stand on the Lid.

4. The cat will self-agitate and make Ample suds.
Never mind the noises that come from the
Toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.
5. Flush the toilet three or four times.
This provides a ‘power-wash’ and rinse’.
6. Have someone open the front door of
Your home.
Be sure that there are no people between the
Bathroom and the front door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as
You can, and quickly lift the lid.

8. The cat will rocket out of the
Toilet, streak through the bathroom,
And run outside where he will dry himself off.
9. Both the toilet and the cat will be sparkling clean.

Sincerely,

The Dog

JokesLifestyle
 

TheLearner

Well-known member
Jan 14, 2019
8,191
1,577
113
68
Brighton, MI
What kind of dog lives in a toilet?
A poodle

What do you get when you cross a dog and a calculator?
A friend you can count on.

Why didn’t the dog want to play football?
It was a Boxer.

Why did the Dachshund want to sit in the shade?
Because it was a hot dog.

When you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster, what do you get?
A cockerpoodledoo!

When a dog has a fever, what should you feed him?
Mustard—it’s the best thing for hot dogs.

Three boys see a fire engine with a dog go by and discuss what his job is. ‘Crowd control?’ says one boy. ‘He’s the mascot.’ says the second boy. The third boy nods sagely: ‘He finds fire hydrants.’

I wanted to see lots of animals at the zoo, but they only had one small dog.
It was a Shih-Tzu.

What did the hungry dalmatian say after his meal?
“That hit the spots!”

What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth.

How can you tell if you have a lazy dog?
He only chases parked cars.

What’s a cat’s favorite color?
Purr-ple!

Why can’t cats play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs!

Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool?
She had mittens.

How many cats can you put into an empty box?
Only one. After that, the box isn’t empty.

What does the lion say to his friends before they go out hunting for food?
“Let us prey.”

Why was the cat so small?
Because it only ate condensed milk!

Why are cats good at video games?
Because they have nine lives!
 

TheLearner

Well-known member
Jan 14, 2019
8,191
1,577
113
68
Brighton, MI
SAMANTHA, from left, Drew and Ben Chapman sit on the new handicapped accessible ramp to the Christian Science Church in The Dalles. The landscaping was also recently upgraded as part of the project.
https://www.columbiagorgenews.com/g...cle_646fa2b2-c79e-59b5-ad21-140217152add.html

"The Church of Christ, Scientist was founded in 1879 in Boston, Massachusetts by Mary Baker Eddy, author of the book Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures. The book offered a unique interpretation of Christian faith. Christian Science teaches that the reality of God denies the reality of sickness, death, sin, and the material world. "
https://www.religionresourcesonline.org/religion-wiki/christian-science-beliefs/