Do you think finding a spouse is more difficult now than in the past?

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JohnDB

Well-known member
Jan 16, 2021
6,229
2,525
113
#81
And if so or not, why?
Nope....

More options than ever before are available for men and women to unite. From online meeting sites to local clubs to outright matchmaking services. Nevermind the activities of normal life that have always been there.

The problem is threefold:
Interested in meeting the op sex.
Too many options
Too much pride/narcissistic tendencies by all.

If you literally can't find a spouse in one of these venues listed above...the problem is not with them it's you.

You are either looking in the wrong places or you have the wrong attitudes.

Not much else to it.
 

Snackersmom

Senior Member
May 10, 2011
1,646
261
83
#82
[QUOTE="Calmador/] Yeah, I think in general it is tougher. I think generally women think men are corrupt and bad or creepy. Neutral conversations or neutral, platonic interactions with women are overly interpreted as approaches or inappropriate. Trying to talk to women alone, sometimes I'm cautious of it or outright avoid it so I'm not labeled a bad guy. This is a thing and it's made dating harder because if I can't be a friend, then we can't be anything[/QUOTE]

This definitely strikes a chord with me.

I know that Christian women (myself included) can come off a bit jumpy when talking to a Christian man. It's something that God has been convicting me on lately because it's not fair to the guys and gives them the impression that I think they are dangerous or icky. But that isn't usually the case, I'm just subconsciously guarding against the few I've met who were.

The good guys are reluctant to pursue because they don't want to be lumped with the bad guys, and the women are reluctant to be pursued because we might not know they guy well enough to trust that he's not going to get weird once he has our personal info.

It's kind of a self-defeating cycle but one that I have observed many times in Christian circles. ☹
 
Jan 15, 2024
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#83
I was being facetious. :)

My wife and I connected through this site, after I had searched locally and found nobody suitable.
😄😄😄that was a serious joke to make, but I feel encouraged by your story and may GOD bless you guys bountifully 😊
 
Jan 15, 2024
101
68
28
#84
46?!!

You look 34!!!

I'm really sorry you went through a divorce -- many of us here can relate and have formed a good chat/discussion/support group here in the forums.

I hope you enjoy your stay here and make some friends. :)
Why thank you Seoul 😊😊😊, this year GOD's willing I'll be 47 in August and my intent as I approach 50 is to look, feel and be awesome when that time comes 😁. And thank you the divorce hit hard, especially since I got married so late and my ex I were both Christians, but GOD be praised he took me through. And so far yes Im loving this platform, y'all are a cool bunch 🙂
 
G

Gojira

Guest
#86
Nope....

More options than ever before are available for men and women to unite. From online meeting sites to local clubs to outright matchmaking services. Nevermind the activities of normal life that have always been there.

The problem is threefold:
Interested in meeting the op sex.
Too many options
Too much pride/narcissistic tendencies by all.

If you literally can't find a spouse in one of these venues listed above...the problem is not with them it's you.

You are either looking in the wrong places or you have the wrong attitudes.

Not much else to it.
Or, God has said 'no'.
 

CarriePie

Well-known member
Jan 7, 2024
1,829
1,186
113
Oklahoma
#90
46?!!

You look 34!!!

I'm really sorry you went through a divorce -- many of us here can relate and have formed a good chat/discussion/support group here in the forums.

I hope you enjoy your stay here and make some friends. :)
34? I thought 20s!
 

HealthAndHappiness

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2022
10,288
4,333
113
Almost Heaven West Virginia
#92
It does make sense. I will talk to my pastor about this so please have patience until I have the opportunity. I am going through and writing questions down so can I learn. This is something I would like to talk about and write down some scriptures for support. I do know that blaspheming the holy Spirit is an unforgivable sin. But I have always heard that sin is sin no matter how we think somethings bad on a degree table, the lord says sin is sin and can't look at sin.
No worries.
We all have questions when we continue learning. Just this morning I was reminded of that when I had a different question. Instead of my pastor, I took it to the Author of the book. I asked Him the answer and immediately flipped back a few pages and He brought my eyes exactly to the answer. I thanked Him and wrote down the reference and answer for future reminders the next time I read it. It's not always so easy or quick to get the answers, but if I seek I'll find and ask it shall be given unto me.

When my pastors would teach/ preach, I'd often take notes like you. Then rather than taking their word for it, I would study on my own time and beg God for the answers and understanding. He always came through.
Sometimes my pastor was right and sometimes wrong. When he was found to be wrong on major doctrines and continued to mis- teach basics that he should have learned first time reading through the Bible, guess what?
I sought out a pastor who was correct on the basics and where I could be spiritually fed. I eventually found what I was looking for.

Paul even expected that of the Galatians in chapter 1. He had established churches in their region and he wanted them to check out his teaching with the books of the Bible they already had.
I was reading this and a passage came to mind. Where was it? I did not know.
I asked the Author and He brought me to the verse He gave us without using a search function on the computer. He took me to Acts 17:11

"These were more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so. "

Thessalonica was open to the gospel. However, those in Berea were even moreso. They didn't take the apostles word for the truth until they checked it out with their Bibles.

We should honor and respect our pastors.
You already know what your pastor teaches about these subjects. You know what I believe too, but don't take my word for it.
May I suggest rather than asking for his explanation, simply know that he too is imperfect and rather go directly to the Author and plead with Him for His answer.
I think He will provide the correct one and bless you for seeking, for asking.

📖🙂👍
 
G

Gojira

Guest
#96
Well....
That would be in the group of "no interest" in finding a spouse.
You may still have interest, but God has shut all the doors.
 
Dec 29, 2023
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Do you think finding a spouse is more difficult now than in the past?
I messed up badly the first time... if I'm ever single again, I doubt I'd even both looking for another spouse for the house.

I'd probably get a puppy instead!