How To Even Meet Someone?
- Thread starter SadBunny
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Impossible to imagine that women are different enough that you might have to actually tailor your conversation to the individual instead of acting like women are programmable robots that this input will always give you this output.
I mean next people will be saying that a woman can have a polite conversation with you without being romantically interested in you.
I mean next people will be saying that a woman can have a polite conversation with you without being romantically interested in you.
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No worries. I was obviously joking myself so I assumed you were as well. Though tobacco withdrawal led me to make that joke against my better judgement. I'm sure others could have read my joke as an actual statement rather than me just joking around. So in the best interest of all, I apologize for that joke.
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Oh, but I'm here to tell you from experience, that what I've laid out in my posts really does work, especially if the woman is willing to take the first risk. I realize that I've been directing my coaching toward men, but if a woman were to initiate the first contact, it's nearly guaranteed to work.
You see, we men are born clueless about approaching a woman, getting the first date, and building the romance. Yet we are assigned this task by society and are expected to somehow be proficient at it.
If YOU were to assign yourself this task, YOU would guarantee your success by:
1. Letting some poor, clueless fellow off the hook
2. Teaching this clueless dude what you want
3. Taking responsibility for the outcomes
The problem is that most women don't want to take the first risk in a relationship. They rightly assume there will be rejection along the way, so they want it to fall on the man's shoulders.
The problem is that you cannot sit back and let the man do all the work if you are upset with the outcomes.
If this is working for you, fine. But I have to ask, are you simply taking the easy way out here? Are you letting negativity and martyrdom work for you? If so, being miserable is not the most God-honoring way to live. I know this from experience.
It could be that you're also afraid of success just as much as failure. It's this fear of success that can hold people back, just as much as being rejected.
For example, a woman's thought process during a successful encounter with a man might look something like this:
"Oh my goodness, he's coming over here to talk to me! What do I do now? Oh my, he's soooooo good-looking!"
He says hi and you say hi back. He also dares to introduce himself. You suddenly can't remember your name, but somehow, you get it out there to him.
You continue with your internal dialogue. "Oh, I just don't know about this. Why would such a handsome guy want to talk to me, anyway? What's he up to? I bet he's NOT a Christian. If he asks me out, what will I do? I have no clothes to wear, and besides, I certainly don't want to compete with THAT!"
He tries to continue the conversation, but you've decided that, since having any success with this guy would be waaaaaaay too risky, you politely tell him you have to go.
I'm not saying this is you, but if there is any hint of this sort of dialog going on in your head during the courting process, it could derail your efforts rather quickly.
You see, we men are born clueless about approaching a woman, getting the first date, and building the romance. Yet we are assigned this task by society and are expected to somehow be proficient at it.
If YOU were to assign yourself this task, YOU would guarantee your success by:
1. Letting some poor, clueless fellow off the hook
2. Teaching this clueless dude what you want
3. Taking responsibility for the outcomes
The problem is that most women don't want to take the first risk in a relationship. They rightly assume there will be rejection along the way, so they want it to fall on the man's shoulders.
The problem is that you cannot sit back and let the man do all the work if you are upset with the outcomes.
If this is working for you, fine. But I have to ask, are you simply taking the easy way out here? Are you letting negativity and martyrdom work for you? If so, being miserable is not the most God-honoring way to live. I know this from experience.
It could be that you're also afraid of success just as much as failure. It's this fear of success that can hold people back, just as much as being rejected.
For example, a woman's thought process during a successful encounter with a man might look something like this:
"Oh my goodness, he's coming over here to talk to me! What do I do now? Oh my, he's soooooo good-looking!"
He says hi and you say hi back. He also dares to introduce himself. You suddenly can't remember your name, but somehow, you get it out there to him.
You continue with your internal dialogue. "Oh, I just don't know about this. Why would such a handsome guy want to talk to me, anyway? What's he up to? I bet he's NOT a Christian. If he asks me out, what will I do? I have no clothes to wear, and besides, I certainly don't want to compete with THAT!"
He tries to continue the conversation, but you've decided that, since having any success with this guy would be waaaaaaay too risky, you politely tell him you have to go.
I'm not saying this is you, but if there is any hint of this sort of dialog going on in your head during the courting process, it could derail your efforts rather quickly.
Supercilious.
Making large assumptions about what an entire gender thinks.
Claiming things work when simple observation shows they do not work.
How many more infractions of common sense do you want to rack up here?
Didn't I push the "IGNORE" button for "this guy" already?
It must be hard contributing to a conversation when you can only read a small fraction of the posts.
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