Is marriage worth it?

[kinda]

I have noticed how many Christians say and suggest it is shameful for a Christian man not to be married. This certainly goes agianst Biblical teachings

"8 Now to the unmarried[a] and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do"-Paul

"So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does better."-Paul

Paul warns us about having "worldly sorrow' in another book "Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death."

I think the sorrow from being single is very worldly. Can you not let everything go and devote your life to God?


personally I dont really care if I marry or not, id rather not though, but the damn world seems to be trying to set me up. She has a gross period, and I say that for one reason, women rag on my male anatomy, it is just shameful, just like her period. It will make me worldly if i marry, having to worry about worldly things, ill have to change my life style, and I do not want to live like those people who boast in the families.

Is marriage worth it? Maybe for sex, and that is my only selling point

Despite what the content of your post was, your demeanor came off a bit angry. Are you o.k.? What's going on?

Anyways, nobody is forcing you to get married, so relax. If you don't want to get married, that is entirely your choice. You don't have to get all crazy about it. It really seams that you are hurt and need to heal, so it might not be a good time to be in a relationship.

I hope you are just venting and feel better by the weekend.

 

[Gideon300]

I have noticed how many Christians say and suggest it is shameful for a Christian man not to be married. This certainly goes agianst Biblical teachings

"8 Now to the unmarried[a] and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do"-Paul

"So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does better."-Paul

Paul warns us about having "worldly sorrow' in another book "Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death."

I think the sorrow from being single is very worldly. Can you not let everything go and devote your life to God?


personally I dont really care if I marry or not, id rather not though, but the damn world seems to be trying to set me up. She has a gross period, and I say that for one reason, women rag on my male anatomy, it is just shameful, just like her period. It will make me worldly if i marry, having to worry about worldly things, ill have to change my life style, and I do not want to live like those people who boast in the families.

Is marriage worth it? Maybe for sex, and that is my only selling point

Your choice. I was married 9 years, single 25 years and married again two years ago. My first marriage was a disaster. Now, I could not be happier.

One reason I'm glad I'm married is that I'm asked for counsel sometimes. If it is a woman, I will ensure that my wife is with me. Two reasons, for my own protection and especially because my wife has spiritual gifts that I do not have.

 

[JohnDB]

Your choice. I was married 9 years, single 25 years and married again two years ago. My first marriage was a disaster. Now, I could not be happier.

One reason I'm glad I'm married is that I'm asked for counsel sometimes. If it is a woman, I will ensure that my wife is with me. Two reasons, for my own protection and especially because my wife has spiritual gifts that I do not have.

Well,
She is a whole person individual and not a cardboard cut out imaginary person filling in an imaginary role you developed in your head. Just like everyone is.

People have institutionalized marriage and glamorized it to where it's an impossible fantasy life to live up to.
People enter marriage with notions of continuing to live their individual life with a companion of sorts. And that's not how it works. Yes, you are still you but now you are a type of Borg....no longer an individual but a collective. Children add to that collective and you are now a smaller part of that collective.

But we were NOT designed to go through life alone. Not in any respect. From our Christian celebratory nature to our work-life balance we cannot do life alone. Even if modern conveniences make it seem that we can and possibly should.

Christmas is always the big tattletale. Is the holiday season rich with friends, parties, and gift exchanges? Or is it the feelings of isolation and quiet domiciles? Not even so much as any ornamentation or baked good around to signify that a holiday is happening?

Christians are givers and not takers. They can be somewhat introverted at times but never always isolated. We are a "city on a hill" shining our light to attract others with welcoming news of how God loves us and is really good and kind to everyone. It gives others hope for the future.

Marriage is where two people join their already existing, unique ministries together to form a larger ministry that is more comprehensive and reaches more people in a variety of ways. Each spouse giving themselves to the other and yet receiving more than they give. Your identity in Christ and in married life shining through giving hope, peace, and joy to all who witness it.

I am/are a "we/us" and never me. And it's a good thing. Because together we are more than the sum of our parts.

YMMV

 

[Gideon300]

Well,
She is a whole person individual and not a cardboard cut out imaginary person filling in an imaginary role you developed in your head. Just like everyone is.

People have institutionalized marriage and glamorized it to where it's an impossible fantasy life to live up to.
People enter marriage with notions of continuing to live their individual life with a companion of sorts. And that's not how it works. Yes, you are still you but now you are a type of Borg....no longer an individual but a collective. Children add to that collective and you are now a smaller part of that collective.

But we were NOT designed to go through life alone. Not in any respect. From our Christian celebratory nature to our work-life balance we cannot do life alone. Even if modern conveniences make it seem that we can and possibly should.

Christmas is always the big tattletale. Is the holiday season rich with friends, parties, and gift exchanges? Or is it the feelings of isolation and quiet domiciles? Not even so much as any ornamentation or baked good around to signify that a holiday is happening?

Christians are givers and not takers. They can be somewhat introverted at times but never always isolated. We are a "city on a hill" shining our light to attract others with welcoming news of how God loves us and is really good and kind to everyone. It gives others hope for the future.

Marriage is where two people join their already existing, unique ministries together to form a larger ministry that is more comprehensive and reaches more people in a variety of ways. Each spouse giving themselves to the other and yet receiving more than they give. Your identity in Christ and in married life shining through giving hope, peace, and joy to all who witness it.

I am/are a "we/us" and never me. And it's a good thing. Because together we are more than the sum of our parts.

YMMV

I agree. Yet some people are too messed up, even as Christians, to be married. Some people just don't want to be married. That's their choice and God respects it. I know an 89 year old retired minister. He is a gem. It did not hurt Apostle Paul to be single. Most believers will marry and that's fine also. I was badgered for being single for many years. It's not at all helpful, especially when its so hard to find a suitable spouse these days.

 

[tourist]

Is marriage worth it? Maybe for sex, and that is my only selling point

Good selling point though. Nothing at all wrong with giving love and receiving love from your spouse. That in itself might be one of the main selling points. If you don't have the desire to marry, then fine. From the angry tone of your OP it might be best to remain single. Welcome to CC.

 

[GaryA]

I do understand that there are people (women included!) who find a woman's monthly cycle to be rather... unpleasant.

But one thing I can say about your post -- it made me all the more grateful for the dad and male friends I've had who see it as a regular part of life, and offer compassion and help, rather than disgust.

To all the guys who understand this is something we ladies have to go through and aren't particularly happy about either, thank you.

Yes - it is simply part of how God set things up - and, like many other things also, we should try to respect and understand the reasons why God set it up that way.

 

[GaryA]

Like Paul says, “So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does better.” Right or better?

1 Corinthians 7:

36 But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry. 37 Nevertheless he that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well. 38 So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better.

This passage is not talking about getting married versus not [ever] getting married; rather, it is talking about a man who "cannot wait" until the end of what we today call the engagement [period].

It is based on Jewish custom - where there is a fixed culturally-mandated "wait period" before marriage. (betrothal)

In essence, it is saying (in modern-day terms):

"If you just can't wait until the end of your engagement - until the day you are to be married - go ahead and do what you have to do (i.e. - have sex) - and, be/get married [at that time] (abrupt end of engagement). However, he that has the self-control to wait has done better than he that cannot wait."

'behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin' = "cannot keep his sexual urges in check so that it interferes with the rest of the relationship"

'keep his virgin' = "retain his wife-to-be during the engagement as being like a gift to be opened on his wedding day" (looking forward to it)

 

[Trying]

I have noticed how many Christians say and suggest it is shameful for a Christian man not to be married. This certainly goes agianst Biblical teachings

"8 Now to the unmarried[a] and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do"-Paul

"So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does better."-Paul

Paul warns us about having "worldly sorrow' in another book "Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death."

I think the sorrow from being single is very worldly. Can you not let everything go and devote your life to God?


personally I dont really care if I marry or not, id rather not though, but the damn world seems to be trying to set me up. She has a gross period, and I say that for one reason, women rag on my male anatomy, it is just shameful, just like her period. It will make me worldly if i marry, having to worry about worldly things, ill have to change my life style, and I do not want to live like those people who boast in the families.

Is marriage worth it? Maybe for sex, and that is my only selling point

No, the bible allows marriage but does not look down on people who don't get
married and live a celibate life.
If God is happy with unmarried celibate men then it is no shame at all, I will
go along with God.

 

[melita916]

OP, if you don’t want to get married, then don’t.

I enjoy being married.

 

[MsMediator]

Christmas is always the big tattletale. Is the holiday season rich with friends, parties, and gift exchanges? Or is it the feelings of isolation and quiet domiciles? Not even so much as any ornamentation or baked good around to signify that a holiday is happening?

People come and go for various reasons, and people may also pass away. Sometimes the big parties/gatherings are not that meaningful. When one is married, there is also always the issue of which family you spend Christmas with. Most people would prefer to spend Christmas with people they know/close with than with in-laws.

 

[JohnDB]

People come and go for various reasons, and people may also pass away. Sometimes the big parties/gatherings are not that meaningful. When one is married, there is also always the issue of which family you spend Christmas with. Most people would prefer to spend Christmas with people they know/close with than with in-laws.

Families ARE very difficult at times. No doubt about it. But they are a part of you as well whether you like them or not.
Where incarceration does allow for you limiting your time with them without a guilty conscience....they are part of the package.

Rumor has it that there exists a non-disfunctional family in Oklahoma or Kansas somewhere....but I still think it's just a false rumor.

And where limiting your time with family is ALWAYS a good idea....it is an exercise of long-suffering and biting your tongue by those who know how to bring out the worst in you.

But....it's not just one day....it's the entire holiday season that I'm referring to. The parties and gift exchanges and etc.

 

[Kireina]

It is worth it 😊

 

[Lynx]

Rumor has it that there exists a non-disfunctional family in Oklahoma or Kansas somewhere....but I still think it's just a false rumor.

Rumor has shifted the location, but the rumor is true! It's down in Southwest Tennessee.

If you don't believe me, drop in on a family dinner sometime.

 

[ForgiveMeGod]

1 Corinthians 7:

36 But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry. 37 Nevertheless he that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well. 38 So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better.

This passage is not talking about getting married versus not [ever] getting married; rather, it is talking about a man who "cannot wait" until the end of what we today call the engagement [period].

It is based on Jewish custom - where there is a fixed culturally-mandated "wait period" before marriage. (betrothal)

In essence, it is saying (in modern-day terms):

"If you just can't wait until the end of your engagement - until the day you are to be married - go ahead and do what you have to do (i.e. - have sex) - and, be/get married [at that time] (abrupt end of engagement). However, he that has the self-control to wait has done better than he that cannot wait."

'behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin' = "cannot keep his sexual urges in check so that it interferes with the rest of the relationship"

'keep his virgin' = "retain his wife-to-be during the engagement as being like a gift to be opened on his wedding day" (looking forward to it)

I believe I’m incapable of marriage due to a thought disorder. i’m incapable of taking care of myself, let alone someone else. -Sean

 

[ShemYoshi]

holyheavens! you are terrible to talk about women's menstrual periods like that. marriage for sex? you have a huge amount to learn before you even date. what do you think women are going to think of you when they read your post? start reading the Bible now, Proverbs 31: verses 10 thru 31!

Ya the message is, don't judge less you be judged same manner same measure. Women have given me sht for my male anatomy for year. If I were to bring the same measure it would surely be much more then what I said.

I'm not trying to date anyone. I hope I never marry, but I burn with passion sometimes.

 

[ShemYoshi]

I'm thinking you should stay single, @ShemYoshi.

God willing. I got one problem with it, the church has been prophesizing I'd meet a wife, and I burn sometimes.

But God willing. I could live even if I burn. I want to live my own life without interruption.

 

[ShemYoshi]

Well this is what God says....
“It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
so.... there is that.


I personally think it's unnatural. Now if someone hasn't yet found their partner that's completely different. But if someone says I don't want anyone or I don't want someone bothering me, etc. I don't think that's healthy at all.

Paul had a mission from God and so he was alone. I don't think that applies to most people.

Even being successful, the more people come together the bigger the change.

We are called to be the body of Christ. Again opposite of being alone.

I'm married and we're different, but the same. We share the same soul, finish each other's sentences. We even dream the same thing at times. Both of us have our roles and we accomplish way more together, it's not double the work but more somehow. Everything works better.

Fortification/ungodly matrimony has led to bigger problems in spreading the truth then anything else. The most hated sin in the Bible.

Bellow is red letter verses spoke by Jesus

Matthew 19:12. ESV For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it."

(Gospel)
And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands, for my name’s sake, will receive a hundredfold and will inherit eternal life.

Matt 10
Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.

 

[ForgiveMeGod]

I like that leaving house verse. I’m going to hold onto that in this current season.

 

[ShemYoshi]

I sat beside my husband of ten years today as the doctor talked about a genetic issue he has with his heart. It's serious and may require major surgery. Before the doctor came in I took his hand and prayed over him. He still has more tests to go through. And as scary as it all is, I wish with all my heart I could take this burden for him and be the one to have the surgery in his place.

I said that to say this, please grow up. Your POV is extremely immature and I'm going to chalk it up to you possibly just being young and not understanding what's coming out of your own mouth. Marriage in no way is worth for just for the sex. You pay those type of women and send them home, that's called a prostitute. God honors marriage, He has blessed marriage. I thank God every day for my husband and now I pray He will grant me more time with him, the best thing that happened in my life aside from accepting the Lord into my heart.

So you have no selling point for marriage then. Other then you want companionship. It's like sex

 

[ShemYoshi]

Ephesians 5:25
"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her".
Only good for sex you say? Make you worldly you say?
The bible stating a husband should love his wife the same as Christ loved the church? But yet you say marriage is only good for sex and will "make" you worldly.
"Make" you worldly. The only thing that "makes" you worldly is You. If you believe marriage makes you worldly then that sounds like a You problem, not a marriage problem.

Like to read more passages referencing marriage? Here you go:
https://www.openbible.info/topics/the_bride_of_christ

You have a problem with truth.

1 Corinthians 7:32-34 Amplified Bible (AMP)But I want you to be free from concern. The unmarried man is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but the married man is concerned about worldly things, how he may please his wife, and his interests are divided.