Bitterness towards your Spouse

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Jun 26, 2025
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#1
Hey everyone,
This is where I think I have a stumbling block..

My bitterness comes from years, of living with an addict.. Addiction is the most evil thing that I have seen, it took away the spouse I new from unselfish to selfish and they can't see how far their actions have taken them from the lord.

Why do I still care, if they stay up to the wee hours of the morning, chatting with people who they once loved more than me..

I eat dinner by myself, watch TV by myself, take care of the household by myself, go to bed by myself..

I thought marriage was supposed to be different, but it seems I have been forgotten, I don't exist.. So why do I have this bitterness, I should be fine with just me and the lord..
 
Jun 3, 2025
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#2
Hey everyone,
This is where I think I have a stumbling block..

My bitterness comes from years, of living with an addict.. Addiction is the most evil thing that I have seen, it took away the spouse I new from unselfish to selfish and they can't see how far their actions have taken them from the lord.

Why do I still care, if they stay up to the wee hours of the morning, chatting with people who they once loved more than me..

I eat dinner by myself, watch TV by myself, take care of the household by myself, go to bed by myself..

I thought marriage was supposed to be different, but it seems I have been forgotten, I don't exist.. So why do I have this bitterness, I should be fine with just me and the lord..
Therefore
What is your objective
With your life
At this present point in time?
 
Nov 12, 2021
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#4
My bitterness comes from years, of living with an addict.
Personally I believe your embracing the bitterness and you have allowed this emotion to take Root in your life ---

You have a choice to maintain your Bitterness or reject it -----

Ephesians 4:31 ESV
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.

Hebrews 12:15 ESV
See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;



AI says

Yes, bitterness is often described as a choice, While difficult experiences and past hurts can contribute to feelings of bitterness, individuals ultimately have the power to choose how they respond to those experiences and whether or not to let bitterness take root.

Here's why bitterness is considered a choice:
  • It's a matter of perspective:
    Bitterness often arises from holding onto resentment and negative emotions related to past hurts, perceived injustices, or unmet expectations. However, individuals can choose to reframe their perspective, forgive, and release these negative feelings.

  • It's an active process:
    Choosing to remain bitter means actively choosing to dwell on negative emotions and justifications for holding onto resentment. Conversely, choosing to heal and move forward requires actively working through the pain, practicing forgiveness, and focusing on positive emotions and experiences.

  • It affects present and future:
    Bitterness doesn't change the past but can significantly impact one's present and future by creating negativity, hindering personal growth, and damaging relationships. Choosing to let go of bitterness allows for a more positive outlook and healthier relationships.

  • It can be a conscious or unconscious choice:
    Sometimes, bitterness can develop gradually and unconsciously, especially when someone is repeatedly hurt or invalidated. However, even in these cases, individuals can become aware of their bitterness and choose to address it.

  • Forgiveness as a choice:
    Forgiveness, a key component in overcoming bitterness, is also a choice. It doesn't mean condoning the hurtful actions, but it does mean choosing to release the negative emotions associated with those actions, allowing for healing and moving forward.
In essence, while difficult experiences may trigger feelings of bitterness, individuals ultimately have the power to choose whether to embrace bitterness or choose a path of healing, forgiveness, and a more positive outlook on life, according to some self-help resources

I say -----I think you need to stop blaming your bitterness on living with someone who is an addict and take charge of your own life by quenching --- the root----- that is allowing you to entertain your Bitterness ----

God is telling you here that it is your choice not to let Bitterness take Root and spring up ---you have a choice ----

Hebrews 12:15 ESV
See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;

I say
And if your married to an Addict who is unwilling to help themselves by getting help and wanting to be clean ---Leave -----

God does not want anyone in an abusive relationship and you are being emotionally abused by your Very own words here

Your Quote here from OP ---

I eat dinner by myself, watch TV by myself, take care of the household by myself, go to bed by myself..

I say --Leave and help yourself get better by quenching the Bitter Root you have allowed to take Root in your life---Read God's word and do as it says to quench the root of your Bitterness

 
Jun 3, 2025
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#6
To obey God, he has spoken, and said to stay, care for him as you have the other friends, you watched them overcome addiction and turn their lives around too.. Be patient..
If God told you that
And you obey it
And don't quit
Or do it any other way
Than the Lord told you to do it
Then the Lord
Will fight that battle for you.
And you will be victorious
And rewarded
For your obedience.
 
Mar 13, 2014
43,241
17,598
113
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Tennessee
#7
Hey everyone,
This is where I think I have a stumbling block..

My bitterness comes from years, of living with an addict.. Addiction is the most evil thing that I have seen, it took away the spouse I new from unselfish to selfish and they can't see how far their actions have taken them from the lord.

Why do I still care, if they stay up to the wee hours of the morning, chatting with people who they once loved more than me..

I eat dinner by myself, watch TV by myself, take care of the household by myself, go to bed by myself..

I thought marriage was supposed to be different, but it seems I have been forgotten, I don't exist.. So why do I have this bitterness, I should be fine with just me and the lord..
Sounds like you need a change in venue.

Perhaps a trail separation will wake your spouse up.

You have described my first spouse from my horrible first marriage that ended in divorce many years ago. Funny thing is, my X, who also cheated on me, asked for the divorce after putting me through 6 1/2 years of physical and mental anguish. Turns out the divorce was a blessing from God.

I can feel your pain because I have been there, done that, bought the T-shirt.

I will say a prayer for God to provide clarity of thought for you in how to best escape from the cage you reside in.
 
Jun 26, 2025
8
7
3
#8
Personally I believe your embracing the bitterness and you have allowed this emotion to take Root in your life ---

You have a choice to maintain your Bitterness or reject it -----

Ephesians 4:31 ESV
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.

Hebrews 12:15 ESV
See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;



AI says

Yes, bitterness is often described as a choice, While difficult experiences and past hurts can contribute to feelings of bitterness, individuals ultimately have the power to choose how they respond to those experiences and whether or not to let bitterness take root.

Here's why bitterness is considered a choice:
  • It's a matter of perspective:
    Bitterness often arises from holding onto resentment and negative emotions related to past hurts, perceived injustices, or unmet expectations. However, individuals can choose to reframe their perspective, forgive, and release these negative feelings.

  • It's an active process:
    Choosing to remain bitter means actively choosing to dwell on negative emotions and justifications for holding onto resentment. Conversely, choosing to heal and move forward requires actively working through the pain, practicing forgiveness, and focusing on positive emotions and experiences.

  • It affects present and future:
    Bitterness doesn't change the past but can significantly impact one's present and future by creating negativity, hindering personal growth, and damaging relationships. Choosing to let go of bitterness allows for a more positive outlook and healthier relationships.

  • It can be a conscious or unconscious choice:
    Sometimes, bitterness can develop gradually and unconsciously, especially when someone is repeatedly hurt or invalidated. However, even in these cases, individuals can become aware of their bitterness and choose to address it.

  • Forgiveness as a choice:
    Forgiveness, a key component in overcoming bitterness, is also a choice. It doesn't mean condoning the hurtful actions, but it does mean choosing to release the negative emotions associated with those actions, allowing for healing and moving forward.
In essence, while difficult experiences may trigger feelings of bitterness, individuals ultimately have the power to choose whether to embrace bitterness or choose a path of healing, forgiveness, and a more positive outlook on life, according to some self-help resources

I say -----I think you need to stop blaming your bitterness on living with someone who is an addict and take charge of your own life by quenching --- the root----- that is allowing you to entertain your Bitterness ----

God is telling you here that it is your choice not to let Bitterness take Root and spring up ---you have a choice ----

Hebrews 12:15 ESV
See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;

I say
And if your married to an Addict who is unwilling to help themselves by getting help and wanting to be clean ---Leave -----

God does not want anyone in an abusive relationship and you are being emotionally abused by your Very own words here

Your Quote here from OP ---

I eat dinner by myself, watch TV by myself, take care of the household by myself, go to bed by myself..

I say --Leave and help yourself get better by quenching the Bitter Root you have allowed to take Root in your life---Read God's word and do as it says to quench the root of your Bitterness
So, what do you do to cling to God when bitterness arises.. What scripture would help me to cleans that bitterness away...and look at my spouse with the eyes of Jesus...i know it's written in my heart somewhere, but when your mind goes astray, by bitterness, doubt, and fear.. It all goes poof.. If you know what I mean..
 
Nov 12, 2021
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#10
.i know it's written in my heart somewhere, but when your mind goes astray, by bitterness, doubt, and fear..

Know how your enemy works -----you don't seem to know how Satan works ---Fear -- doubt and resentment ---anger all come comes from Satan not God ----Bitterness is rooted in anger and resentment---and anger comes from Fear -----

Satan wants to keep you in the pasts hurts and fears and keep you from getting rid of that Bitter Root ---

Put on God's armor that He has equipped you with ----

Your fighting a Spiritual War ----




--


So, what do you do to cling to God when bitterness arises
You don't Cling to God ---you put your Faith and Trust in God into action and do what the Scriptures tell you to do to quench the root of Bitterness you have allowed to take Root in your soul -----

God is telling you here what you need to get rid of ---and God has already supplied you with the tools to do this but YOU have to act on what God had made available to you to help you ---You need to do the work to put these things behind You -----God has done His work ---it is now your work to put into action -----


Ephesians 4:31

Amplified Bible, Classic Edition

31 Let all bitterness and indignation and wrath (passion, rage, bad temper) and resentment (anger, animosity) and quarreling (brawling, clamor, contention) and slander (evil-speaking, abusive or blasphemous language) be banished from you, with all malice (spite, ill will, or baseness of any kind).

Hand Over your bitterness to God and be free of it =====Give all your burdens to God -----

Put up your Shield of Faith -----Help yourself and DO AS THE WORD SAYS

 
Nov 12, 2021
1,891
697
113
#11
FadingFlowerNeedsWater

Your Quote
.i know it's written in my heart somewhere, but when your mind goes astray, by bitterness, doubt, and fear.. It all goes poof..

Satan attacks your mind ----So YOU WIN OR LOOSE THE BATTLE IN YOUR MIND ------

Satan wants you to think and root Bitterness in your life and God wants you to get Free from the bondage of Bitterness

So the Spiritual Battle is in the Mind ----Who's Thoughts will you act on ---Satan or God ---