What are you looking for?

[CarriePie]

Did I miss something here?
What do you mean by 'a starter wife'?
For now I'll keep my thoughts on this to myself because I really want to know what you mean here before I say too much.

I wondered this too. So, yesterday after I seen this post I looked it up. I read the definition on a few sites as well as stories from those who have gone through this. I found this particular one to be very sad and it made me thankful to be single lol...

 

[seoulsearch]

Your rating is a bit low for a 8 woman, since she would be looking for a 8 or higher. Do you have a high enough income to offset that difference?

I LOVE the honesty of this post.

I've been single a long time and have known a lot of singles. Almost every single I talk to wants to marry "up" on the scale -- if they're a 6, they want an 8, 9, or 10. If they see themselves as a 10, they want a 15.

A few people will say they're willing to accept someone around the same level as themselves.

But I don't think I've EVER heard anyone say they want someone who rates below them. (And I have to be honest with myself as well... I'd look for someone on the same level and go from there.) Now I realize this encompasses a lot of things. Part of what I consider to be "on the same level" for myself means he won't be an alcoholic (been there, done that, have the lost years of my life to prove it.)

People like to talk about looking at the heart, and I'm sure many people sincerely do, but at the end of the day, Christians are like the rest of the world in that most want someone who rates high, and usually high-er, on certain scales than they do.

Shoot, we Christians even believe this is what God WANTS for us, because He wants ONLY THE BEST for us, and surely THE BEST must mean exactly what we want for ourselves. (It's a tough day when one finds out that God's best for them might differ -- a lot -- from what they see as being the best for themselves.)

For instance, I've been reading that older women who have been widowed or presumedly had a "good" divorce settlement (getting a house and money, etc.) are starting to be seen as "prizes" -- to men who don't want to work, or want to be taken care of.

I recently read a fictional book in which one girl is described as looking kind of like a hillbilly ragamuffin, but she conned her way to wealth because, "She liked pretty boys, and she knew pretty boys cost money."

The hard truth of is, if you're behind someone in one area, you'll very much most likely need to make up for it by being exceptional in another area (and for many, that seems to be finances.)

 

[Elizabeth35]

So you're not interested in "low hanging fruit" or a "handicapped parking spot"...do you see how degrading that is? There's nothing wrong with wanting someone you're attracted to, that's important in a relationship, but these types of comments raise red flags. They're incredibly disrespectful and a healthy Christian woman won't put up with that because she values people and Christ-like behavior.

If you're a "6.5" and you want an "8" you'll need an amazing personality to attract that "8". Kind, attentive, charming, sweet, funny, safe, trustworthy, faithful, etc. And you said you don't have the income to fill in that gap (not judging you for that!) but do you realize an "8" costs money? They don't wake up an "8", there are many costly things that go into making a person an "8" like clothing, nails, makeup, hair appointments, gym memberships, high quality organic food and supplements, and on and on. Now if you're looking for a natural "8", well good luck with that! That's rare.

I'm not saying this to hurt or offend you, but if you're seriously looking for a relationship then it's vital to do some self reflection and correction so that you're ready to add something positive to someone else's life.

 

[seoulsearch]

I remember one pastor saying jokingly that, “women are like parking spots, all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.”
I do not need a model or movie star, but I couldn’t stand to settle for low hanging fruit, or a starter wife. Better for us both to remain unmarried.

LOL!!

Forget "handicapped" or "low-hanging" fruit.





I'm starting to think I'm just the "Ground Cover"!

But I'm ok with that.

 

[Karlon]

I wondered this too. So, yesterday after I seen this post I looked it up. I read the definition on a few sites as well as stories from those who have gone through this. I found this particular one to be very sad and it made me thankful to be single lol...

View attachment 277608

sounds like the guy was never in love but "in lust". it seems he had a plan the whole time he was with the girl to use her. only 1 part of this reminds me of my marriage in which we got married over 8 years ago. & that is for the 1st 6 & half years, i paid for 95% of everything. we never agreed to that but i earn much more money than she does so i let it go. but for the past 14 months, she is paying a lot more than before & we are extremely happy in marriage.

 

[Daisy2]

Wow, 7+ mans got ambitions doesn't he? However isn't beauty is in the eye of the beholder? Some women might seem plain or bookish to some, yet incredibly beautiful to others. As an artist once said, “The eye is kinder than the frame.”

 

[Godsgirl1983]

sounds like the guy was never in love but "in lust". it seems he had a plan the whole time he was with the girl to use her. only 1 part of this reminds me of my marriage in which we got married over 8 years ago. & that is for the 1st 6 & half years, i paid for 95% of everything. we never agreed to that but i earn much more money than she does so i let it go. but for the past 14 months, she is paying a lot more than before & we are extremely happy in marriage.

But you were married and paying for things, BIG difference from people shacking up playing house, which it sounds like the previous shared article was expressing happened.

 

[MsMediator]

For instance, I've been reading that older women who have been widowed or presumedly had a "good" divorce settlement (getting a house and money, etc.) are starting to be seen as "prizes" -- to men who don't want to work, or want to be taken care of.

A lot of older men are looking for "a nurse with a purse."

 

[CarriePie]

A lot of older men are looking for "a nurse with a purse."

And too many younger men looking for a maid with a purse.

 

[Godsgirl1983]

Okay, I am soooo not up to date with current modern terms

As a wife (to the same one and only man) for nearly 2 decades this is what I thought of when I read 'starter wife':
someone who is new to wifehood- as in never before been married- and with that reasoning I thought "well, aren't all wives starters in the very beginning?"
And I thought for someone to say they don't want a 'starter wife' must mean they want someone who already knows what they're doing, like well experienced and I was like

Now, after that little naive misunderstanding, I'm not even going to BEGIN to tell ya'll what I thought was meant by 'low hanging fruit'

 

[CarriePie]

Now, after that little naive misunderstanding, I'm not even going to BEGIN to tell ya'll what I thought was meant by 'low hanging fruit'

Oh my

 

[Godsgirl1983]

Oh my

View attachment 277614

let me just clarify it has NOTHING to do with males

 

[seoulsearch]

Now, after that little naive misunderstanding, I'm not even going to BEGIN to tell ya'll what I thought was meant by 'low hanging fruit'

LOL!!!

Godsgirl, we are so glad you're here -- and willing to associate with us poor single peasants.


I have no further comments about the "low-hanging fruit" (for this post, at least) except for this .

 

[Daisy2]

starter wife? "she not good enough for me but i will settle for now?" Jesus said "Due to the hardness of your heart you put your wife away."

You might want consider watching these sermons

God wants marriages to be permanent | Billy Graham #shorts #billygraham #marriage

Waiting on God’s choice for marriage | Billy Graham #shorts

(6) The Family | Billy Graham Classic Sermon - YouTube

True Love | Billy Graham Classic Sermon

 

[Godsgirl1983]

As much uh fun as we're having with these terms, I think it is important to go back and reread and point out what was in the OP, which was as quoted below
(boldness and underline added by me)

2. Beautiful (I do not need a model or movie star, but I couldn’t stand to settle for low hanging fruit, or a starter wife. Better for us both to remain unmarried)

Knowing what I know now, and going back to reread in more correct context I think it is safe to say that OP has made clear he
DOES NOT want to settle on a woman just for the sake of settling.
Op wants someone 'beautiful', Not beautiful in the worlds sight/standards like a model/tv star, but beautiful... whatever that means to him (remember, beauty is in the eye of the beholder)

 

[CarriePie]

As much uh fun as we're having with these terms, I think it is important to go back and reread and point out what was in the OP, which was as quoted below
(boldness and underline added by me)



Knowing what I know now, and going back to reread in more correct context I think it is safe to say that OP has made clear he
DOES NOT want to settle on a woman just for the sake of settling.
Op wants someone 'beautiful', Not beautiful in the worlds sight/standards like a model/tv star, but beautiful... whatever that means to him (remember, beauty is in the eye of the beholder)

But, he did say he'd prefer an 8 after MsMediator asked him how he'd describe his beautiful woman...

The only potentially problematic thing I see is that you want a "beautiful" wife. How would you describe your beautiful woman?

Bell shaped curve

64% =5-6

18%=7+ or 1-4

I am shooting for an 8 but will settle for a seven.

 

[Karlon]

But you were married and paying for things, BIG difference from people shacking up playing house, which it sounds like the previous shared article was expressing happened.

yes, i assent to that. laziness & lack of responsibility is a massive hurt in life. too bad the people don't realize that. 1 thing totally for sure, neither my wife or i are lazy, indolent or irresponsible.

 

[Godsgirl1983]

But, he did say he'd prefer an 8 after MsMediator asked him how he'd describe his beautiful woman...

Ah Ha! I MUST go finish reading the full thread then

 

[Josepus86]

I am not photogenic, but here goes.

 

[Josepus86]