Some thing I have heard of lately on CC and witnessed around me and in my faith community are men saying. they are not searching. I have a young colleague at 28 saying he is not searching and his complain is it is tiring to search.
It breaks my heart sincerely, He is young and worldly women have become predators to men of God.
in 10 or 20 men who may ask me out on a date, none is a believer.
My questions are
- what seems to be the problem? because its alarming at this rate half of the church will be single by 2050,
- should women start chasing men, is that allowed?
- will you enjoy being chase by a woman if you are a man?
I am beginning to think singles need to be put in marriage through speed dating, blind dates arrange marriages and many more.
I sincerely believe the problem and vices of the Society today are a result of the high rate of loneliness, lack of love leading to addictions and the likes. An experiment has shown that the more we are with people the less we think and keep destructive habits.
So no matter how single hood is comfortable I keep promoting and encouraging Christlike relationships for others and myself because it sincerely reduces the deviation of the Society.
My opinion please so come at me with brotherly love ahbeg
Hi Edith!
This is a great topic, and I agree, it's heartbreaking.
I really wonder what God wants for His people regarding marriage, because fewer and fewer people are interested in getting married. Not just out of rebellion (though of course sometimes that could be,) but I think many of us have seen all the things that can go wrong in a marriage and that the church often makes things worse (all the stigmas and condemnation,) and are often terrified of getting ourselves into the same situations.
For example, I have known people who started out in healthy-looking marriages that became abusive behind closed doors, but it was insisted that they stay, no matter how much harm was being done. In some cases, the abuse was sexual, and who wants to have to try to explain to anyone that you are leaving your sexually abusive spouse? Not only is it no one's business, but no one should have to bring public shame on themselves for getting out of such a terrible situation (just my own opinion.) But yet, people will judge. And judge, and judge.
In addition to this, I think a lot of women have become very demanding of what they believe Christian husbands need to be. (I plan to write a thread on this in the future, but I'm still working out the details I want to include.) I have heard it said that Christian women could meet Jesus Himself, and He still wouldn't be good enough for their expectations.
I've had guy friends show me dating profiles of women who expect men to provide a wife premium, luxury, stay-at-home lifestyles because, "God designed men to be providers." Now I understand that many Christians believe the proper Christian family should have a stay-at-home Mom and working Dad, but I just don't think it's possible anymore.
What kind of man wants that kind of pressure, especially at a time when expenses are going through the roof, work is hard to find, and no one's job is secure? I'm not even a man, and I wouldn't choose that kind of stress at this point in my life. I had a small taste of that life when I dated an alcoholic with kids who got to where he couldn't work or care for them anymore, and I was paying for almost everything. He only survived by living with his family.
Now of course, this was a bit different because we weren't married and there was a lot of dysfunction, but I can only imagine that a lot of marriages are going to run into a lot of financial pressures (money issues are often cited as the #1 cause of divorce, Christian or not.)
I've seen lists of some women's demands, and I tell my guy friends, "I couldn't even imaging trying to be friends with someone who thinks like this -- that everything revolves around her -- let alone try to suggest she date someone I know."
But I've heard some women talk about how they are God's princesses, and how they deserve a "true man of God," who can provide everything they need and want. (Praise God my women friends are not like this at all!)
And of course I have plenty of my own selfishness and flaws -- which is a good reason why I'm not married.
On the flipside, I often find that Christian men demand beautiful, flawless-looking women who will forever stay looking 25, even after birthing and raising all their children, because "God made men visual, so I must have, and deserve, a gorgeous wife."
I have often said that the Christian dating scene is even worse than the secular one, because everyone believes they have God on their side. Many Christian singles hold fast to the belief that, "God only wants THE BEST for me, and He's going to give me MY idea of THE BEST."
In other words, not only do Christian singles have a lot of the same issues as singles in the world, some use God to back them up -- and we can all see where it's going. Everyone is staying single. And even the ones who are getting married are often splitting up.
But, these are just my own observations, and this is just my opinion.
I wish there was something more optimistic I could say.
