How long have you been single?
- Thread starter Rainstorm
- Start date
-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
It is possible when you respect their privacy and isolate it as their own business.
Oh, so you have seen it. i thought you just said you didn't. So, when you see people get engaged, or date, or marry, are you ever happy for those people? Or do you view them as, well, kinda naive?
@Lovette,
May I ask, how did your existence and birth come about?
How did your parents meet, come together and have you?
I very well realize that not everyone is brought into this world under married, loving, or even legal circumstances, but it would be interesting to hear what you observed with your own parents.
I have known some people who believe their own parents were such terrible examples, that they now hold similar conclusions as yours.
Yes, of course I am. Who am I to judge them and call them naive? What are you getting at?
So you concede that it's OK and normal for people with strong desires to date, marry, and enjoy intimacy?
Please don't make it personal. I grew up in an intact nuclear family, my parents were busy and rough, could be emotionally abusive sometime, but they are good folks, I hold no resentment but gratitude.
I just find this whole narrative on dating, marriage and sex highly absurd, it's quite a mystery, more puzzling than the trinity or afterlife or salvation or any other theological conundrums. You know, a roll in the hay is warned and condemned throughout the bible, any knowledge of it is absolutely frowned upon in the abstinence only purity culture - yet somehow, as soon as you get married, no matter with who under what circumstance, the same act is suddenly transformed from defiling your own body temple to glorifying God, when your only education about it is from this perverse, pornified culture. This is like you've only learned about driving from F1 race and Fast and Furious, never touched a steering wheel yourself, and now you're expected to drive smoothly across the nation. So how did my parents meet, come together and have me? No idea, it was private and taboo, asking or probing about it is impolite, disrespectful, even offensive.
And keep in mind, that marriage is validated and legally recognized NOT by personal agreement, church service, engagement ring, wedding ceremony, emotional connection or whatever, but a piece of paper issued by the government, the same kind of certificate that recognizes same sex union as marriage. And that's just the norm in civilized countries. What about cultures where there's neither marriage registry nor church? What sanctifies their procreating act?
That's interesting, because in 1 Corinthians 7, Paul actually says that if you're not content with being single, then maybe you should get married. Paul does say that he, personally, is content with being single. But he also concedes that not everyone is like that.
And there's people who decide to get married without being envious. People can get married for legitimate reasons, remarkably enough. Hahaha!
I don't learn much from people who only give cold narratives they believe are facts and never talk about themselves or their own lives as a human being.
It's hard for me to believe anyone who has been going on was much as you do is very happy with their life, as obviously, they must have come from a set of human beings who somehow got together.
And if someone has no joy at all and remains a locked dungeon, what do they really have to share?
But I wish you all the best.
No he didn't say that, it's your own framing. Marriage was granted to prevent sexual immorality, it's for those who lack self control.
I may not be happy, but I'm CONTENT, God has tended my every need, blessed me with abundance and security which I know I didn't earn. Wish you best too.
Thank you for taking the time to answer.
I should clarify.
I'm certainly not saying that someone has to be joyful and happy all the time in order to have anything useful to share -- I've battled serious depression all my life and have learned a lot from others who also share their worst moments.
But it's just that your posts, while using many Biblical context and references, have a sense of seeing others as nothing more than minions to continuously belittle and preach to.
If that's the kind of contentment you are endorsing, I definitely can't get on board.
But I do understand that we are all different, and if it works for you and God is pleased with your current state (and spreading it to others,) I know my small opinion will be meaningless anyway.
But I do thank you for hearing me out.
Depression is the fourth stage of grief, the longest and most torturous stage to endure. Just go find something productive to do, physical activities, get yourself occupied to the point of exhaustion. Also trust God with your future, carpe diem. Whatever's handed to you today, get it done today, and leave the rest for tomorrow. Let tomorrow worry about itself, sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
And believe me, the only kind of thing I scoff at is the "flip" I just mentioned, the exaltation of marriage to the point that it magically transforms the nature of sex and all otherwise inappropriate physical intimacies, a total 180 from what gets you burns in hell to what lifts you to high heaven. And I'm smart enough to understand that it's not about marriage itself by God's design, but the idolatry of it, the way most churches and Christian influencers hype it.
You’re describing the 1970s as if it were a golden age of relationships.
The same era you’re idealizing was also marked by lack of boundaries, heavy drug use,
blurred consent, and a culture that made it easier for predators to hide in plain sight.
Free love wasn’t free — a lot of people got hurt in that environment, especially women.
And your view of sex as “animalistic,” degrading, or inherently harmful doesn’t reflect reality.
Healthy sexuality is not about domination or pain — it’s about mutuality, consent, communication, and care.
When sex hurts women or feels dehumanizing, that’s not the nature of sex —
that’s the nature of bad sex, bad communication, or trauma.
Reducing all sexuality to something denigrating erases the experiences
of couples who share intimacy that is tender, respectful, and deeply human.
The 70s weren’t an ideal time for relationships, and sex isn’t inherently degrading.
Well that does explain why your posts contain an unprecedented balance of both feminism and misogyny, since you are getting your info from both sides of the extremist coin.
The thing is, it's not a fair coin. Women typically become feminists when they are hurt, abused, or abandoned by a man. Likewise, men tend to join MGTOW crowd after an unfair or abusive divorce situation. So you're not really getting any input from those in healthy relationships.
Are there any small group bible studies in your area that you could join for a more balanced perspective, and maybe a glimpse at what a Godly marriage might look like?
I recommend to join a Godly local church to start practicing fellowship, friendship, commitment, repentance, forgiveness, holiness, iron sharpen iron ....then dating people within God's family.
This answer is the epitome of what I was observing about your posts.
You speak to people as if they've just rolled off a cloning conveyor belt, not seeming to realize that every situation, and person behind it, is highly individual.
While I appreciate your... wanting to say something to help? It's interesting that you speak to me as if I were just any other generic lump of human cells, but I guess it's to be expected, as that seems to be your style when communicating with others here.
But maybe your philosophies are helping someone out there -- so hopefully you are reaching the audience you're meant to be the most effective for.