Contentment in singlehood

[Gideon300]

All CANNOT. In other words, NOT all. You can't read？

How about just don't talk about it at all, sparing you and others from the ickiness?

Yes you do. Knowing ABOUT something is one thing, knowing something by lived experience is another. Learning about how things really work is NOT easy, because the algorythm feeds your confirmation bias by only showing you what you wanna see.

Whether the wife wants it in your purely hypothetical scenario I don't know, all I know is that you promote sex for these fabricated therapeutic benefits by exploiting your partner. As crazy as it sounds, you have no idea what a woman has to go through, how much sacrifice she has to make for the consequence of your momentary pleasure.

I agree it's all pointless speculation.


I find your persistent lack of comprehension, that marriage is for all mankind, not unique for Christians. For Christians, those who are already married are given advice, those who are single are to remain single.

Can't leave it alone, can you. You anti marriage attitude finds support in one place and under conditions that no longer apply in much of the world. God made mankind male and female. He made man and woman to procreate because God is Father and longs to have children.

That purpose of God is under attack from many directions of the world system. I can see no reason for you to join them. I don't know where you get your twisted concepts of marriage from. It's not from the Bible. Sure, many marriages are not much of an example. I can also assure you that many single people are not much of an advert for being single either.​

 

[Lovette]

Well, what all did Paul write? Paul says he has no "commandment from God" about this. Paul says that he wishes that everyone was single like him ── not that God wishes it. He says that he, personally, is content with being single ── but he admits that not everyone is like that. He says that it's good to stay single, but that it's better to marry if you have strong desires. Paul "supposes" that it's better to stay single because of "the present distress," some crisis that the church in Corinth was dealing with at the time. He says you're not sinning by marrying. Paul says a widow would be happier if she stayed single, but he admits that this is just a personal opinion. Evidently, many people are not happier being single. In 1 Timothy 4:1-3 Paul also condemns people who forbid marriage. And if Paul wrote the Book of Hebrews, then he also said that marriage is a good thing.

Irrelevant, if no girl accepts you.

I never said we should live by biological impulses "alone."

Yeah, that impulse is carnal. What does God's word say on that? "carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be. So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God."

It was a simple question.

No, it's a false dichotomy.

Why not answer the questions, though? You don't have to, though.

I'll answer when you stop misrepresenting "all".

I didn't say anything about whether or not Peter ever had sex or had kids. But if he did, it would have been lawful.

Then just speculations.

Why not just answer the question? LOL.

I'll answer when you stop misrepresenting "all".

 

[Lovette]

Can't leave it alone, can you. You anti marriage attitude finds support in one place and under conditions that no longer apply in much of the world. God made mankind male and female. He made man and woman to procreate because God is Father and longs to have children.

That purpose of God is under attack from many directions of the world system. I can see no reason for you to join them. I don't know where you get your twisted concepts of marriage from. It's not from the Bible. Sure, many marriages are not much of an example. I can also assure you that many single people are not much of an advert for being single either.​

I got my idea from Lord Jesus himself, who shred the Pharisees and the Sadduccees to pieces, it was them who had twisted the concept of marriage. Pharisees divorced and remarried frequently so they could have lots of sex with lots of women without committing adultery; Sadduccees didn't believe resurrection, instead they laid their hope in the afterlife in their kids as the extension of their own lives. And these twisted views are still around, if not more common than ever.

And beleive it or not, I'm all for God's original design of marriage, so speaking of "anti marriage", how about you turn your ire toward the gay lobby and the Supreme Court which had desacrated marriage with their own definition of it?

 

[RodColeman]

Irrelevant, if no girl accepts you.

If. You used the word if there.

Yeah, that impulse is carnal. What does God's word say on that? "carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be. So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God."

Do you mean to say that every form of sexual desire, and every form of sex, is, by definition, sinful? Because the Bible doesn't say that. It depends on the circumstances.

No, it's a false dichotomy.

So there are benefits to sex? Specifically, married sex?

 

[RodColeman]

Irrelevant, if no girl accepts you.

Yeah, that impulse is carnal. What does God's word say on that? "carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be. So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God."

No, it's a false dichotomy.

I'll answer when you stop misrepresenting "all".

Then just speculations.

I'll answer when you stop misrepresenting "all".

And what do you mean by me "misrepresenting all"? You're the one who keeps making big, sweeping blanket statements about "women," for instance. Like saying women can't enjoy sex, for instance. I question you on that specific point, and then you claim that I'm making a blanket statement. I'm asking you a question, not making a statement of my own.

You also keep saying 'You don't represent "all'." What does that statement have to do with my questions about your assertions?

Are you trying to avoid answering my questions? Because, well, that seems rather out of character for you.

 

[tourist]

God spoke constantly in the OT, you determine which was opinion and which was statement of fact.

I believe that everything that God says is a statement of fact.

 

[Gideon300]

I got my idea from Lord Jesus himself, who shred the Pharisees and the Sadduccees to pieces, it was them who had twisted the concept of marriage. Pharisees divorced and remarried frequently so they could have lots of sex with lots of women without committing adultery; Sadduccees didn't believe resurrection, instead they laid their hope in the afterlife in their kids as the extension of their own lives. And these twisted views are still around, if not more common than ever.

And beleive it or not, I'm all for God's original design of marriage, so speaking of "anti marriage", how about you turn your ire toward the gay lobby and the Supreme Court which had desacrated marriage with their own definition of it?

I've read your comments about marriage. You are against marriage generally for Christians, according to your own words. I've been single for much of my life and married twice. I can handle being single. I was alone for about 25 years before I married again. I was in my 70's and I never expected to marry again. My wife is a wonderful godly woman. She has spiritual gifts that I lack. She is much more compassionate than I am. We make a team. We are more effective in ministry that if we worked as individuals.

I ensure that my wife is with me if I'm talking to women, especially if they are single. I don't need to elaborate.

The evils of the world are obvious. I'm not American so I have no influence with your supreme court. I say my bit if I get the opportunity in Australia.​

 

[Churchgoer]

I've read your comments about marriage. You are against marriage generally for Christians, according to your own words. I've been single for much of my life and married twice. I can handle being single. I was alone for about 25 years before I married again. I was in my 70's and I never expected to marry again. My wife is a wonderful godly woman. She has spiritual gifts that I lack. She is much more compassionate than I am. We make a team. We are more effective in ministry that if we worked as individuals.

I ensure that my wife is with me if I'm talking to women, especially if they are single. I don't need to elaborate.

The evils of the world are obvious. I'm not American so I have no influence with your supreme court. I say my bit if I get the opportunity in Australia.​

Agree with you, married man shall not have private meeting with other woman, same goes for married woman.

Same goes for single man, don't have private meeting with married woman. Same goes for single woman.

If we follow this rule, many happy results.

 

[Lovette]

If. You used the word if there.

Why are you so bothered by it?

Do you mean to say that every form of sexual desire, and every form of sex, is, by definition, sinful? Because the Bible doesn't say that. It depends on the circumstances.

All I know is that such desire is condemned by Lord Jesus. Your bible doesn, mine does. "Whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

So there are benefits to sex? Specifically, married sex?

Go ask an expert on that, somebody with firsthand experience and willing to share.

And what do you mean by me "misrepresenting all"? You're the one who keeps making big, sweeping blanket statements about "women," for instance. Like saying women can't enjoy sex, for instance. I question you on that specific point, and then you claim that I'm making a blanket statement. I'm asking you a question, not making a statement of my own.

You also keep saying 'You don't represent "all'." What does that statement have to do with my questions about your assertions?

Are you trying to avoid answering my questions? Because, well, that seems rather out of character for you.

Define as "sex" first, what counts as sex varies greatly from one to another. In one previous post you claimed that you were explaining human anatomy, but if you were truly familiar with female anatomy, even just the basics, you'd know that for women, most nerve endings are not spread out in the birth canal, but concentrated in the hooded nub right above the entrance. Therefore, in what is regularly and conventionally considered as the only legitimate form of "sex", all men take pleasure and reach climax, but most women do not. If they appear to enjoy, they're faking it. And don't take my "assertion" on it, do your own research for verification. I avoid simply because I don't wanna be vulgar, rude and shameless like you on such private taboo subject.

 

[Lovette]

I've read your comments about marriage. You are against marriage generally for Christians, according to your own words. I've been single for much of my life and married twice. I can handle being single. I was alone for about 25 years before I married again. I was in my 70's and I never expected to marry again. My wife is a wonderful godly woman. She has spiritual gifts that I lack. She is much more compassionate than I am. We make a team. We are more effective in ministry that if we worked as individuals.

I ensure that my wife is with me if I'm talking to women, especially if they are single. I don't need to elaborate.

The evils of the world are obvious. I'm not American so I have no influence with your supreme court. I say my bit if I get the opportunity in Australia.​

NO sir, I'm against the IDOLATRY of marriage, and the association of it with your devotion, that "I become Christian so I can find a good partner and get married; I get married, so I can prove that I'm a devout Christian". That is a false prosperity gospel, God made so such promise; marriage is a worldly affair for all mankind, not uniquely for Christian, and it could become an obstacle in your spiritual journey, as shown in this parable below.

“A certain man gave a great supper and invited many, and sent his servant at supper time to say to those who were invited, ‘Come, for all things are now ready.’ But they all with one accord began to make excuses. The first said to him, ‘I have bought a piece of ground, and I must go and see it. I ask you to have me excused.’ And another said, ‘I have bought five yoke of oxen, and I am going to test them. I ask you to have me excused.’ Still another said, ‘I have married a wife, and therefore I cannot come.’ (Lk. 14:16-20)

Besides, you said you're in your 70s, for you boomers a "wonderful" "godly" partner might be readily available and easy to find, but time has changed, these days even a regular partner is incredibly hard to find, everybody seems to stuck in their own world, let alone a "wonderful" "godly" partner. So you accuse me of being against marriage, what kind of marriage are you talking about? With whom and for what purpose?

I don't know about you, grandpa, I believe with all my heart, that Lord Jesus loved me so much that he had died for my sins and taken the penalty I deserve, I don't need no female substitute for that. No marriage is better than an ungodly marriage, a performative marriage or an imaginary marriage.

 

[Gideon300]

NO sir, I'm against the IDOLATRY of marriage, and the association of it with your devotion, that "I become Christian so I can find a good partner and get married; I get married, so I can prove that I'm a devout Christian". That is a false prosperity gospel, God made so such promise; marriage is a worldly affair for all mankind, not uniquely for Christian, and it could become an obstacle in your spiritual journey, as shown in this parable below.

“A certain man gave a great supper and invited many, and sent his servant at supper time to say to those who were invited, ‘Come, for all things are now ready.’ But they all with one accord began to make excuses. The first said to him, ‘I have bought a piece of ground, and I must go and see it. I ask you to have me excused.’ And another said, ‘I have bought five yoke of oxen, and I am going to test them. I ask you to have me excused.’ Still another said, ‘I have married a wife, and therefore I cannot come.’ (Lk. 14:16-20)

Besides, you said you're in your 70s, for you boomers a "wonderful" "godly" partner might be readily available and easy to find, but time has changed, these days even a regular partner is incredibly hard to find, everybody seems to stuck in their own world, let alone a "wonderful" "godly" partner. So you accuse me of being against marriage, what kind of marriage are you talking about? With whom and for what purpose?

I don't know about you, grandpa, I believe with all my heart, that Lord Jesus loved me so much that he had died for my sins and taken the penalty I deserve, I don't need no female substitute for that. No marriage is better than an ungodly marriage, a performative marriage or an imaginary marriage.

On the other hand, a godly marriage is a powerful combination of mutual support and encouragement. Obviously you do not know what you are missing. That's your choice. I respect that. I do not respect your negativity about marriage.

 

[Lovette]

On the other hand, a godly marriage is a powerful combination of mutual support and encouragement. Obviously you do not know what you are missing. That's your choice. I respect that. I do not respect your negativity about marriage.

I have NEUTRALITY toward marriage, its quality is soly determined by the couple and the environment they're living in. Marriage itself could not change either the husband or wife overnight. I don't know what I'm missing because there's nothing to be missed in the first place. I thank God for everything I have, financial security, stable job, inherited apartment, emotional calmness, peaceful family, food and drink in the fridge, air conditioning to cool me down, relatively good health, He even sent a tabby cat to me for companion, most of these I didn't even earn, what more can I ask for? You can dangle your godly marriage in front of me as you want, I'm not gonna disparage you, I feel happy for you, but it's just not for me, God has blessed me with abundance and contentment compared with many of my peers, I'm in no position to be greedy and asking for more. So, I'd rather take "what I'm missing" as a test of faith.

 

[RodColeman]

Why are you so bothered by it?

I'm not "bothered" by it. You mentioned his was all irrelevant, if no girl accepts you. Of course, this is not a foregone conclusion. Clearly, some people do get married. Because some people do accept.

All I know is that such desire is condemned by Lord Jesus. Your bible doesn't, mine does. "Whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

Yes. "To lust for her." Another way to translate this is "whoever looks at a woman in order to lust after her." You can note the simple fact that someone is attractive without lusting after them. That happens a lot in the Bible, actually. Jacob found Rachel beautiful. Abigail is described as beautiful. Also, interestingly, the word "woman" here can mean "married woman" in Greek. Remember, Jesus is teaching about adultery here.

Go ask an expert on that, somebody with firsthand experience and willing to share.

I already explained that.

Define as "sex" first, what counts as sex varies greatly from one to another. In one previous post you claimed that you were explaining human anatomy, but if you were truly familiar with female anatomy, even just the basics, you'd know that for women, most nerve endings are not spread out in the birth canal, but concentrated in the hooded nub right above the entrance. Therefore, in what is regularly and conventionally considered as the only legitimate form of "sex", all men take pleasure and reach climax, but most women do not. If they appear to enjoy, they're faking it. And don't take my "assertion" on it, do your own research for verification. I avoid simply because I don't wanna be vulgar, rude and shameless like you on such private taboo subject.

"Most" women, eh? How do you know that? I thought the only woman you know in life is your mother? But now you know for certain that the vast majority of the world's x-billion women dislike sex and are faking it? And that "most women" don't climax? Very interesting! It is true that men, generally, climax more easily and frequently. For a woman, sexual enjoyment is more connected with intimacy, trust, and emotional comfort. For men, it's more physical. Neither men nor women automatically feel "more" pleasure. it depends on the individual.

 

[Lovette]

I'm not "bothered" by it. You mentioned his was all irrelevant, if no girl accepts you. Of course, this is not a foregone conclusion. Clearly, some people do get married. Because some people do accept.

You might've heard that "it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." I simple believe the opposite.

Yes. "To lust for her." Another way to translate this is "whoever looks at a woman in order to lust after her." You can note the simple fact that someone is attractive without lusting after them. That happens a lot in the Bible, actually. Jacob found Rachel beautiful. Abigail is described as beautiful. Also, interestingly, the word "woman" here can mean "married woman" in Greek. Remember, Jesus is teaching about adultery here.

Or any woman in general, by no means can you know a woman's marital status at first glance.

I already explained that.

Lean on the wisdom of God, not your own understanding.

"Most" women, eh? How do you know that? I thought the only woman you know in life is your mother? But now you know for certain that the vast majority of the world's x-billion women dislike sex and are faking it? And that "most women" don't climax? Very interesting! It is true that men, generally, climax more easily and frequently. For a woman, sexual enjoyment is more connected with intimacy, trust, and emotional comfort. For men, it's more physical. Neither men nor women automatically feel "more" pleasure. it depends on the individual.

"Most" women shared the same anatomy, erogenous zones and mode of mentality when it comes to this matter, I've listened to their testimony and research. If a man skips what's conventionally called "foreplay", commits what is traditionally defined as sex, reaches climax and turns to sleep, then that's a disservice to the woman. "Most" women.

 

[RodColeman]

You might've heard that "it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." I simple believe the opposite.

OK. Fine with me. Nobody's required to get married. I have no problem with anyone choosing to stay single. I have no problem with anyone desiring marriage and getting married, either.

Or any woman in general, by no means can you know a woman's marital status at first glance.

For sure. I do believe it's possible to lust after unmarried women, for instance.

Lean on the wisdom of God, not your own understanding.

If the biblical texts reflect the wisdom of God, there's plenty of good advice there.

"Most" women shared the same anatomy, erogenous zones and mode of mentality when it comes to this matter, I've listened to their testimony and research. If a man skips what's conventionally called "foreplay", commits what is traditionally defined as sex, reaches climax and turns to sleep, then that's a disservice to the woman. "Most" women.

You've listened to "most" of the women who have dwelt on this planet for the past millennia and populated it by having sex? And if that's the case, well, don't skip "foreplay," I guess. A marriage is supposed to be mutually fulfilling. The Bible teaches us that.

 

[JohnDB]

https://twitter.com/x/status/2081362368542515250

 

[Lovette]

OK. Fine with me. Nobody's required to get married. I have no problem with anyone choosing to stay single. I have no problem with anyone desiring marriage and getting married, either.

Then go in peace.

For sure. I do believe it's possible to lust after unmarried women, for instance.

And I do believe it's possible to not lust altogether.

If the biblical texts reflect the wisdom of God, there's plenty of good advice there.

And chief among them is that God himself is the ultimate reward, everything else is lesser.

You've listened to "most" of the women who have dwelt on this planet for the past millennia and populated it by having sex? And if that's the case, well, don't skip "foreplay," I guess. A marriage is supposed to be mutually fulfilling. The Bible teaches us that.

Or don't bother with it at all, so you won't risk performance anxiety, disappointment, even trauma.

 

[RodColeman]

Then go in peace.

And I do believe it's possible to not lust altogether.

And chief among them is that God himself is the ultimate reward, everything else is lesser.

Doesn't mean these lesser rewards are bad, worthless, or completely unworthy of attention as we still remain on Earth.

Or don't bother with it at all, so you won't risk performance anxiety, disappointment, even trauma.

Sure, you can choose that if you wish. Nothing wrong with that.

 

[JesusLives]

That is so far from the truth. It may seem like people are happy being single, but that’s not how we as humans are designed.

People who claim to be content with being single have given up or are protecting themselves. They would rather go numb than be vulnerable and get hurt again. As much as it stings getting rejected, those who endure will find their mate. While I’m all for focusing on yourself and becoming a person worth loving, cutting off your emotions is a defense mechanism, not a healthy way to cope with being alone.

Satan wants us to feel alone and isolated. Wants us to think we‘ll never find someone. And when you see everyone around you getting into a relationship and you wonder “Why in the heck am I still alone?” It definitely feels that way sometimes. God has to move several pieces on the board around for someone to finally see you.

Love isn’t magical, it’s not destiny, it’s not fate, it’s not a 24/7 dopamine rush. Love is being able to stand being around someone for 10 or more minutes at a time. The standards for love have become so impossibly high for most people that its nothing short of a miracle that anyone finds a partner these days.

I do understand where you are coming from I used to be one of those people wondering where my other half was.... In my younger years, (71 now), you should have seen my laundry list of what I wanted in a mate.... WOW, was it LOOONNNNNGGGGG.... and detailed. But at 59 the list had shortened to a heart beat.... The very funny thing is that I found Tourist when I wasn't even looking - blip and there he was on a Christian Chat site that I just joined to share with other Christians.... It's been a good almost 12 years now and I thank God for him daily.

 

[seoulsearch]

I do understand where you are coming from I used to be one of those people wondering where my other half was.... In my younger years, (71 now), you should have seen my laundry list of what I wanted in a mate.... WOW, was it LOOONNNNNGGGGG.... and detailed. But at 59 the list had shortened to a heart beat.... The very funny thing is that I found Tourist when I wasn't even looking - blip and there he was on a Christian Chat site that I just joined to share with other Christians.... It's been a good almost 12 years now and I thank God for him daily.

Great to see you, @JesusLives!

I love that you said you shortened your list down to "a heartbeat"... Lol!!!

We're thankful you and @tourist still hang out with us.