If You Had An Arranged Marriage, Do You Think Your Parents Would Be/ Would Have Been Able to Make the Best Choice for You?

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Let's Talk About Arranged Marriages.

  • I WOULD be open to an arranged marriage. (Why?)

    Votes: 1 14.3%
  • I WOULD NOT be open to an arranged marriage. (Why not?)

    Votes: 3 42.9%
  • My parents would make/have made a GREAT choice for my spouse. (Why?)

    Votes: 1 14.3%
  • My parents would make/have made a TERRIBLE choice for my spouse. (Why?)

    Votes: 4 57.1%
  • My friends would make/have made a GREAT choice for my spouse. (Why?)

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • My friends would make/have made a TERRIBLE choice for my spouse. (Why?)

    Votes: 4 57.1%
  • I could choose a GREAT spouse for my child, relative, friend, etc. (Why?)

    Votes: 1 14.3%
  • I would wind up making a TERRIBLE spouse for my child, relative, friend, etc. (Why?)

    Votes: 1 14.3%
  • I think arranged marriages work out better than free choice marriages. (Why?)

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • I think free choice marriages work out better than arranged marriages. (Why?)

    Votes: 3 42.9%

  • Total voters
    7
or.. Pukekos
I think people would gladly sacrifice pukekos as they are notorious for ruining gardens. They don't just peck the bugs, but actually destroy your veges if you don't fence them (the veges)
 
Circumcision was commanded to Israel (actually Abraham) as the mark of God's covenant with them, most of the other nations probably considered it rather barbaric to do that to their baby boys and weren't circumcised. But I have to admit it's not a question I generally ask people so I'm just assuming.
Israel circumcised for covenant reasons at 8 days old, but presumably, the other nations did it for health or similar (not at 8 days - usually later in life in teens, but before marriage). Like you say, I doubt people really checked, but I think even David's words to Goliath "who is this uncircumcised phiistine" - shows even then that uncircumcision was seen as a kind of a shame or an insult. One reading of the below is that the other nations practiced circumcision.

Jeremiah 9:25 - 26 Behold, the days come, saith the Lord, that I will punish all them which are circumcised with the uncircumcised;
26 Egypt, and Judah, and Edom, and the children of Ammon, and Moab, and all that are in the utmost corners, that dwell in the wilderness: for all these nations are uncircumcised, and all the house of Israel are uncircumcised in the heart.

There's also the passage in Joshua, that talks about God removing the reproach from Egypt (from the Israelites), after their circumcision.

The link below shows an Egyptian hieroglyph demonstrating the practice. I won't post the graphic 'cause don't want to cause offense to anyone (it's just like an Egypt cartoonish drawing - nothing really bad but obviously some type of circumcision procedure or similar).


Today circumcision is often done for health reasons if not religious reasons. I think ancient world could have been similar.
 
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Lambs tails...many farmers dock their tails because it keeps the lamb/sheep cleaner for their wool. I'm sure its done humanely though. Well I don't really know I'm not a farmer but you could watch Country Calendar to find out what it's like to be one.

Back to topic arranged marriage - my grandparents had an arranged marriage and were matched as toddlers. So if that hadn't happened I suppose my dad wouldn't have been born. Parents traditonally choose their children's spouses in most cultures, but it's different now. However they do have final say and you can't get married if underage, you'd need to elope.

You still need their blessing though, its not really ideal to be estranged from your family because they will support your marriage if you do marry. I mean its a familial obligation.

People seem to have this idea that a married couple are the only two people in the entire world who care about their own marriage. Not so.
 
My parents have never chosen a spouse for me or boyfriend for that matter, but when I did have boyfriends/dates, mum def let me know if she approved or not.

I'm not married so...I guess she had some sway. She just said better to be single than unhappily married. She also said look for character, but you can only tell character if you've known someone for a length of time, not just 3 dates or whatever. You could fall in love with a criminal! People do, it's not uncommon, esp if you know nothing of their background, or their friends/family to vouch for them.
 
Actually if I recall the only church weddings I've been to (apart from own family weddings where nobody even belonged to the church, it was just a place where you got married) are the ones where the pastors daughter got married.
That was just two church weddings I've been to in a church where I belonged!

Even my friends wedding, she was living with her fiance for maybe what 12 years at least with her intended only got married when she could afford to, already had a son, but wanted a church wedding because that was a respectable thing to do. Her now husbands father was an elder in church. They married in an Anglican church...like a really liberal one that also married same-sex couples or were friendly to them. But she got fed up with the political sermons in that church and crossed to the road to the Catholic one, so now her family attend that church lol.

Another friend of mine who went to a PI church (pacific island) said the pastors children just lived together with their partners and had children and never got married. She married in church, but her ex-husband was a pastor/minister, so I suppose they had to. Her own children, well her son, has a daughter now and never got married, and they now split.

So I don't know what that says about church weddings/marriages. They are just as messy as non-church goers marriages.
I really don't see much difference. Actually the church weddings are worst because there's pressure to marry and stay married, but its too much. When it all goes to pot not only the marriage fails but your salvation seems to be in question, and the church can excommunicate you.
 
Women sacrifice body parts too, lots of women have mastectomies (if they discover a lump). Angelina Jolie had a double one because she had the Brca gene.
But it's not a religious ritual or a covenant.
The most that can be said for women that was religious was shaving all our hair off. some Jewish Orthodox women do it particularly those that are in the Hasidic sect.
You can buy 'Virgin hair' as hair extensions...hair that's never been dyed. So not literal scalps, but close to it. Celebs pay a lot of money for hair extensions and wigs.
 
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Actually if I recall the only church weddings I've been to (apart from own family weddings where nobody even belonged to the church, it was just a place where you got married) are the ones where the pastors daughter got married.
That was just two church weddings I've been to in a church where I belonged!

Even my friends wedding, she was living with her fiance for maybe what 12 years at least with her intended only got married when she could afford to, already had a son, but wanted a church wedding because that was a respectable thing to do. Her now husbands father was an elder in church. They married in an Anglican church...like a really liberal one that also married same-sex couples or were friendly to them. But she got fed up with the political sermons in that church and crossed to the road to the Catholic one, so now her family attend that church lol.

Another friend of mine who went to a PI church (pacific island) said the pastors children just lived together with their partners and had children and never got married. She married in church, but her ex-husband was a pastor/minister, so I suppose they had to. Her own children, well her son, has a daughter now and never got married, and they now split.

So I don't know what that says about church weddings/marriages. They are just as messy as non-church goers marriages.
I really don't see much difference. Actually the church weddings are worst because there's pressure to marry and stay married, but its too much. When it all goes to pot not only the marriage fails but your salvation seems to be in question, and the church can excommunicate you.
Very realistic observation. If a church allows for couple just live together without marriage, probably that church already caved in to secular world.

Therefore it is important to check out the church statement of faith, observe their service, worship, activities, then decide if you want to commit.

Jesus said not everyone who calls Lord, Lord, will enter into heaven. There are a lot of fakes out there.
 
Hey Everyone,

Over the years, I've seen some pushes in Christian culture to move towards arranged marriages.

I know arranged marriages are still the norm in some cultures, but admittedly, I've read a lot of horror stories about them, such as when there is a dowry dispute -- and the discontent in-laws douse the new bride in oil, set her on fire, the tell the police she committed suicide -- or had a "cooking accident."

Now, I'm not trying to say anything bad about cultures that use arranged marriages, and I'm certainly not trying to say that arranged marriages themselves are bad. I just think that when discussing any kind of social arrangement, especially one this serious, all of the cultural pro's and con's surrounding it must be also be fully considered.

I have known one arranged marriage (from India) that was successful (but produced no children, for reasons known only to God and the couple,) and I wish I would have had more time to ask them how this might be adapted for Western cultures.

But I must also say that I CANNNOT imagine my parents (or anyone else) trying to choose someone for me -- and I'm wondering how everyone else feels about this as well. As much as I love my parents and friends, I am an extreme introvert at heart, and I think there are many things even those closest to me would miss -- and not know to consider when trying to pick someone for me.

What about you?

* Do you believe that your family or even your friends pick out the right spouse for you?

* For our married friends, if you could do things all over again -- do you believe your family or friends been able to pick a spouse as compatible or more so than the one you have? Do you think your pastor would be able/would have been able to choose for you?

* Do YOU think that you could choose a spouse FOR SOMEONE ELSE -- whether your child, relative (niece or nephew, cousin, etc.), friend, or church member? Why or why not?

I'm going to write a multiple choice, anonymous (no one can see your answers) poll, but please come back and tell us if you could see yourself agreeing to an arranged marriage -- along with the reasons why, or why not. The poll only allows about 10 answers, and I'm hoping people are going to have much more to say about this topic.

Please feel free to share any cultural traditions or backgrounds that would affect why you feel the way you do.

I am VERY interested in hearing people's answers and what has influenced them.

Thank you for your time! :)
sincerely so I would say, after I have searched by myself for so long and having no result, I would somehow feel like an arranged marriage would have done the deal. however I would not want to find myself in a situation where we are not compatible.

five reasons I would envy an arranged marriage
1. Both Partners understand they are going nowhere so they do everything to accommodate each other.
2. The man knows his duty likewise the woman and vice versa
3. Both are Christian
4. The man has a lot of money. The woman spends a lot of money
5. They both have Jobs

I actually don't know what to say but if dating prior to marriage yes i would accept it.
 
or.
4. The man wins a lot of money, the woman saves a lot of money.
5. They are both zillionaires, through winning the lottery and don't die the next day.
 
Hmm looks like the only pair in my hand are the King and Queen of clubs...

What kind of club? It needs to be either a Book club or a Garden club, unless they are combined into one. Wait on, if they are the same suits they must be related somehow.

But if we allowed to have opposite suits, maybe...the King of spades and the Queen of hearts? Do you think they'd make a good couple?

Spades can be useful...for digging dirt...and surely nobody would break any hearts.
 
My cousin married at young 20s, beautiful girl with handsome guy. They were in love, but through all life s turmoil, they argued, fight . ....

Then finally they overcome all the up and downs.

Now both retired, sticking together like 2 young love birds 🐦 😘 💕

Marriage is worth fighting for!
 
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