For Singles Looking to Get Married, How are You Preparing Yourselves?

[Lanolin]

I never saw my parents do anything remotely romantic. lol

It would have happened before any of us children were born.

 

[seoulsearch]

One year when I was a kid, my Mom was getting a new vehicle.

It wasn't any kind of a surprise, but it happened to come in right before Christmas.

On Christmas morning, my Dad told us all to go to the window. It was blizzarding like crazy outside!!

But he had brought her new ride home and it was sitting in the driveway -- with a big red bow attached.

I was really young then, but I was kind of thinking, "Is THIS how adults do romance?!"

Lol!

 

[Lanolin]

Sorry for those who don't know, Kath & Kim is an Aussie sitcom

Kath gets married to Kel
Kim is married to Brett - their marriage doesn't work out so well, but they do manage to stay married for a bit.

Kath & Kim - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

The reason I mention it is, ok you can watch your parents marriage because you lived with them or you can watch other people's marriages in their own homes on TV

 

[2ndTimeIsTheCharm]

I couldn't agree more.

This is a major reason as to why I'm single.

I've told this story often -- when I was on the Christian dating sites, I was approached by 2 Caucasian men with adopted Asian children. They were very excited at the thought of their children having an adopted Asian stepmother.

This is perfectly understandable (and at one point in life, I thought I would adopt as well.) But they were so focused on how I would fit with their wants and needs, they didn't ask even once about me or what I might want or need.

One blocked me and told me it was "my loss" when I wasn't going along with the perfect-for-him mold he had set out, expecting me to pour myself into it.

When I was younger, I compromised who I am.

But now that I'm older and can fend for myself, I'm a lot less quick to do so.


Just recently, I saw a prayer request on this site asking everyone to send a good Christian wife who would "love him and provide great sex."

Not a single word about what he would offer her. The first thing I think when I read "requests" like this is, "So are YOU going to be able to love her -- and provide great sex?!"

I'm not trying to knock on anyone and I'm certainly not trying to knock men.

It's just that I've always been the type that people have opened up to about their most personal issues.

And I'll just say, I've known a lot of married people who definitely didn't feel they were getting a very good return on investment in that arena.

I hate that too. I hate that look "Oh she's Asian" and their face gets all weird. I don't know what that means, but I don't want to find out.

I agree that as I got older, that I like myself and don't feel the need to change myself in harmful ways to please other people. It's good to put people first but God doesn't teach us to be doormats.

When it comes to sex, I think there are books for that to teach you how to get better at it and you and your spouse (after you're married) can read them together and try stuff out I suppose.

I think if both talk it out and are willing, they can learn to please each other as long as its not weird or sick!

 

[Karlon]

You scold your wife?
Or is it like 'look at moy, look at moy' thing Kath always did to her daughter Kim when she was being obnoxious or had a fight with her or her second best friend?

ABSOLUTELY NOT! there's little we disagree on. our marriage is weird because the longer we're married, the better we get along. we laugh more. i love to open the door for her, i make her breakfast ever working day, i call her once a day at least at the farm to see if she's alright. & we alternate on where to go or what to do. she'll have her way 1 week & the next week i get to pick what we're doing or where to go.

 

[Karlon]

You scold your wife?
Or is it like 'look at moy, look at moy' thing Kath always did to her daughter Kim when she was being obnoxious or had a fight with her or her second best friend?

"moy thing" & "kath"? don't know what you are saying.

 

[Lanolin]

"moy thing" & "kath"? don't know what you are saying.

If you haven't watched Kath & Kim before you are missing out. The OG Aussie version not the US knock off

It's a phrase Kath says to her daughter Kim when she's being a brat. She's asking Kim to look her in the eyes while she tells her off and apologise.

 

[Lanolin]

i assent. i never heard that before. i hope you weren't offended & that you were being funny. good question. since i am direct & to the point, i win the arguments. i'm just saying it that way, there's no win or lose. she has a habit of adding tangents in which she gets lost. but we really don't argue, we discuss. she's very emotional & can cry easily. some would say i shouldn't do this but when a discussion turns up, i stand right in front of her & look her in the eyes as much as possible. i developed that when i had to scold employees for wrong doing. it works like a charm

Karlon you don't remember writing this just about an hour or so ago??

 

[Karlon]

If you haven't watched Kath & Kim before you are missing out. The OG Aussie version not the US knock off

It's a phrase Kath says to her daughter Kim when she's being a brat. She's asking Kim to look her in the eyes while she tells her off and apologise.

never heard of it

Karlon you don't remember writing this just about an hour or so ago??

yes, what's that have to do with the above i mentioned? i'm unfamiliar with your country's entertainment.

 

[Karlon]

If you haven't watched Kath & Kim before you are missing out. The OG Aussie version not the US knock off

It's a phrase Kath says to her daughter Kim when she's being a brat. She's asking Kim to look her in the eyes while she tells her off and apologise.

i haven't seen that or the u.s. knock off show.

 

[Lanolin]

OM...G! Karlon!!!

You really do have ADD.

Never mind. And you don't even watch TV.

From what you have written Thea gets scolded and you always win the argument/discussion. If I was your wife (which I am not) I would probably run away.

To the nearest pizza parlour.

 

[Karlon]

OM...G! Karlon!!!

You really do have ADD.

Never mind. And you don't even watch TV.

From what you have written Thea gets scolded and you always win the argument/discussion. If I was your wife (which I am not) I would probably run away.

To the nearest pizza parlour.

i hardly watch tv. i spend a huge amount of time praying for people. I SAID I DON'T SCOLD THEA! get it right! now you can't read properly

 

[Lanolin]

i hardly watch tv. i spend a huge amount of time praying for people. I SAID I DON'T SCOLD THEA! get it right! now you can't read properly

OK you just stare at her right in the eyes.

Its the same tactic Kath uses with her daughter when she asks her to 'look at me please' except in Aussie accent it sounds like 'look at moy, ploise'

 

[Lanolin]

I'm not going to give you a video clip you not going to watch anyway, you need to watch the whole episode because it's a real laugh a minute.

Not like the US tv sitcoms that have audience canned laughter.

 

[Lynx]

Kath's husband Kel was always trying to kiss her but they never quite got there, was more air kissing. When her daughter saw (she'd moved back home) she just would say 'revolting!'

They were always doing romantic things but you not meant to do them in front of your own kids. After children come along, even if they are grown up, you just don't do that or keep it in the bedroom.

I dunno... I heard one comedian talking about that was how they got their kids to move out. They would sit on the couch in the living room and make out, reallly sucking face.

"Eww that's gross!" their kids would say. But it worked great. Their kids moved out the DAY they turned 18.

 

[Karlon]

OK you just stare at her right in the eyes.

Its the same tactic Kath uses with her daughter when she asks her to 'look at me please' except in Aussie accent it sounds like 'look at moy, ploise'

OK you just stare at her right in the eyes.

Its the same tactic Kath uses with her daughter when she asks her to 'look at me please' except in Aussie accent it sounds like 'look at moy, ploise'

you weren't exactly specific lanolin. i know what you mean. thanks. uizaphunnneee lady!

 

[Karlon]

I dunno... I heard one comedian talking about that was how they got their kids to move out. They would sit on the couch in the living room and make out, reallly sucking face.

"Eww that's gross!" their kids would say. But it worked great. Their kids moved out the DAY they turned 18.

other than the meaning of your post, i so often heard that kissing is gross. why?

 

[Karlon]

I dunno... I heard one comedian talking about that was how they got their kids to move out. They would sit on the couch in the living room and make out, reallly sucking face.

"Eww that's gross!" their kids would say. But it worked great. Their kids moved out the DAY they turned 18.

i c.

 

[Lynx]

other than the meaning of your post, i so often heard that kissing is gross. why?

Only if your parents do it.

 

[Karlon]

Only if your parents do it.

yes, i get it.