Thoughts of Christian Dating

[Lovette]

The text doesn't say special occasions. You're still adding guardrails. And you keep going to drunk. People can drink without getting drunk. It's called moderation.

Or it's called deception. The same term is used by all calorie counting fat diets - you can drink sodas and eat junk food all you want, just in "moderation". You can gamble, play games, watch porn, smoke weed without getting addicted, "it's called moderation."

 

[RodColeman]

"We will sell no wine before it's time"

That makes me think of this gem :

 

[RodColeman]

Or it's called deception. The same term is used by all calorie counting fat diets - you can drink sodas and eat junk food all you want, just in "moderation". You can gamble, play games, watch porn, smoke weed without getting addicted, "it's called moderation."

So you've never eaten a single piece of candy, ever? Honestly curious.

 

[seoulsearch]

Yes, and in my post I said I don't drink.

Honestly.

How does someone who sounds so miserable and critical as you survive day to day?

Meaning, is this really all you live for?

To constantly belittle other people and show how much better you are?

Apparently it's what gives you a purpose.

I can't imagine waddling in that kind of misery day after day after day, but obviously that's your choice.

As sarcastic as this post is going to come across, I truly wonder this about people like Lovette.

I mean, seriously.

What must their daily "To Do List" look like?

"Things I MUST Get Done Today":

1. Berate people for their piddly beliefs (especially in things like marriage and dating.)

2. Talk in circles about my moral superiority.

3. Boast about having a luxury apartment to further prove how high above the peasants I am. (He obviously hasn't noticed that there are other members here who seem to done well materially, though many are a bit more... subtle, or at least, humble, about it.)

4. Do this on Repeat, Every Day, All Day -- because it makes me, and God, very happy! And I'm just here to spread the love of God!

Big smiley face!!!


I guess if that doesn't motivate someone to get out of bed, I don't know what will.

(I truly wonder to myself how these people live. I have my own dark thoughts plenty of days it's hard enough with jut those, let alone constantly trying to offload them onto other people.)

 

[seoulsearch]

Even when I tried to invite Lovette to the other threads to talk about other things, his attitude was, "Ok then, amuse me, entertain me..."

It had an air of "Prove to me that you're worthy of my presence, peasant."

I realize this is the belief the whole world is pushing right now, but I'm always bewildered at how someone can continue to believe that the world revolves around them, has to conform to them, and is there to entertain them -- and can still themselves as a Christian whose worth listening to.

Pride and self-centeredness just aren't values a Christian should strive so hard to maintain.

 

[NightTwister]

Or it's called deception. The same term is used by all calorie counting fat diets - you can drink sodas and eat junk food all you want, just in "moderation". You can gamble, play games, watch porn, smoke weed without getting addicted, "it's called moderation."

Yes, you can gamble in moderation (entertainment), play games, smoke weed also in moderation and it's not sinful. Behavior that is sinful like watching porn cannot be fine in moderation.

There's no prohibition to any foods (anymore), so yes those things can be eaten in moderation, although healthier foods are often a better choice.

 

[RodColeman]

Even when I tried to invite Lovette to the other threads to talk about other things, his attitude was, "Ok then, amuse me, entertain me..."

It had an air of "Prove to me that you're worthy of my presence, peasant."

I realize this is the belief the whole world is pushing right now, but I'm always bewildered at how someone can continue to believe that the world revolves around them, has to conform to them, and is there to entertain them -- and can still themselves as a Christian whose worth listening to.

Pride and self-centeredness just aren't values a Christian should strive so hard to maintain.

I also wonder if it's just an online persona, or if he actually interacts with people that way in real life.

When I first joined ChristianChat, Snackersmom told me that Lovette, in the past, has admitted that to misrepresenting people's positions simply because he enjoys debating and arguing.

I don't get why someone would do that, but I get why that would be easy to do online. I wonder if he's like that in real life.

 

[seoulsearch]

I also wonder if it's just an online persona, or if he actually interacts with people that way in real life.

When I first joined ChristianChat, Snackersmom told me that Lovette, in the past, has admitted that to misrepresenting people's positions simply because he enjoys debating and arguing.

I don't get why someone would do that, but I get why that would be easy to do online. I wonder if he's like that in real life.

That's an excellent observation.

I can't imagine running on that kind of energy either but to each their own.

I've had some experiences as well where people were much different in writing than say, in live chats on the mic, for the better or worse. Some people who came across as harsh were light and jovial in voice chat. And some people who seemed easygoing in writing were anything but when interacting with people in real time.

I'm a bit naive in that people have always told me I'm the same in person as I am in writing (for the good, or for the bad, lol.)

Although, I also usually get the comment that I'm not as talkative in person, lol! One person said they were actually shocked that in person, I didn't talk that much.

That's because I do keep most of my thoughts in my head. It's actually sometimes a lot easier for me to get them out in writing.

And the great thing with writing on a forum is that there are no time limits, and people can just skip over whatever they choose. And I appreciate being able to read other people's thoughts as slowly or as many times as I need to feel like I'm grasping what's said.

In real life, it's harder to "skip over" what someone is saying, and I don't want to make people feel trapped, so I do a lot more listening than talking.

 

[RodColeman]

That's an excellent observation.

I can't imagine running on that kind of energy either but to each their own.

I've had some experiences as well where people were much different in writing than say, in live chats on the mic, for the better or worse. Some people who came across as harsh were light and jovial in voice chat. And some people who seemed easygoing in writing were anything but when interacting with people in real time.

I'm a bit naive in that people have always told me I'm the same in person as I am in writing (for the good, or for the bad, lol.)

Although, I also usually get the comment that I'm not as talkative in person, lol! One person said they were actually shocked that in person, I didn't talk that much.

That's because I do keep most of my thoughts in my head. It's actually sometimes a lot easier for me to get them out in writing.

And the great thing with writing on a forum is that there are no time limits, and people can just skip over whatever they choose. And I appreciate being able to read other people's thoughts as slowly or as many times as I need to feel like I'm grasping what's said.

In real life, it's harder to "skip over" what someone is saying, and I don't want to make people feel trapped, so I do a lot more listening than talking.

That's one of the reasons I enjoy talking online because it's easier to collect your thoughts before composing thoughtful replies.

It's also easier to be confrontational online, if that's what you prefer being.

And, of course, I'm sure some people prefer arguing online because you can instantly Google things that'll support your argument.

 

[Churchgoer]

That's an excellent observation.

I can't imagine running on that kind of energy either but to each their own.

I've had some experiences as well where people were much different in writing than say, in live chats on the mic, for the better or worse. Some people who came across as harsh were light and jovial in voice chat. And some people who seemed easygoing in writing were anything but when interacting with people in real time.

I'm a bit naive in that people have always told me I'm the same in person as I am in writing (for the good, or for the bad, lol.)

Although, I also usually get the comment that I'm not as talkative in person, lol! One person said they were actually shocked that in person, I didn't talk that much.

That's because I do keep most of my thoughts in my head. It's actually sometimes a lot easier for me to get them out in writing.

And the great thing with writing on a forum is that there are no time limits, and people can just skip over whatever they choose. And I appreciate being able to read other people's thoughts as slowly or as many times as I need to feel like I'm grasping what's said.

In real life, it's harder to "skip over" what someone is saying, and I don't want to make people feel trapped, so I do a lot more listening than talking.

Ok, back to op, meeting in person is real dating starts.
If only writing and phone call, it is not real dating. People can hide a lot if not seeing in person.

 

[RodColeman]

Ok, back to op, meeting in person is real dating starts.
If only writing and phone call, it is not real dating. People can hide a lot if not seeing in person.

Oh, yeah. The OP!

Yeah, for sure. That's why it's called a "first date."

Although usually going on multiple dates, and the relationship is making progress, is what I would consider real dating.

 

[Lovette]

Yes, you can gamble in moderation (entertainment), play games, smoke weed also in moderation and it's not sinful. Behavior that is sinful like watching porn cannot be fine in moderation.

There's no prohibition to any foods (anymore), so yes those things can be eaten in moderation, although healthier foods are often a better choice.

Yeah, you go placate yourself with that. Before you realize, it'll becoem a coping mechanism triggered by stress.

 

[Lovette]

So you've never eaten a single piece of candy, ever? Honestly curious.

Honestly honest, I don't have a sweet tooth, if I ever had, dental cavities had taught me better.

 

[seoulsearch]

Ok, back to op, meeting in person is real dating starts.
If only writing and phone call, it is not real dating. People can hide a lot if not seeing in person.

Distance is a very real hindrance or a lot of relationships.

I wrote a thread once asking how many people thought they'd be married right now if it wasn't for distance.

I often wonder if the internet gives us false hope -- like, we meet this amazing person online whom we think is just the right match...

But it never actually works out because of distance.

I've been in that situation myself (not finding what I thought was the right person, but have met some I would have dated to see if it could turn into anything if not for the distance.)

I have to admit though, I think in every incidence, the distance was saving me -- and the other person -- from a huge mistake. But that's just because I'm so darn ornery!!

I'm sure in some cases, it could work out for some fine people, and I always feel sad when I hear of couples who seem to get along very well, but can't explore a real possibility because of distance.

Yes, I know, in some cases God will provide, but I've known many other cases in which it didn't happen (which again, could be from God, but part of the frustration is not really knowing.)

 

[seoulsearch]

Honestly honest, I don't have a sweet tooth, if I ever had, dental cavities had taught me better.

I envy you in that.

I always say I don't have a sweet tooth, I have an entire set of sweet teeth!!

Fortunately, I've had relative few cavities, and none in the last several years.

 

[Churchgoer]

Oh, yeah. The OP!

Yeah, for sure. That's why it's called a "first date."

Although usually going on multiple dates, and the relationship is making progress, is what I would consider real dating.

Real dating starts when both guy and gal introduce each other to church, family as exclusive dating couple. Meaning they agree to see each other exclusively, and this friendship possible lead to marriage if no obstacles occur.

Casual dating meaning just go out, casual friendship. No specific goal, not introducing to church, family as dating couple.

 

[RodColeman]

Honestly honest, I don't have a sweet tooth, if I ever had, dental cavities had taught me better.

OK, interesting. Nothing wrong with that.

You can still east it in moderation. A little bit every now and then is not harmful.

Eating lots of it is harmful, though, for sure. Junk food isn't a sin, but if we consume it as gluttons, or if we abuse our bodies with it, then eating it would be wrong, certainly. Sugar and caffeine addictions are real and they're definitely not healthy.

 

[Churchgoer]

Distance is a very real hindrance or a lot of relationships.

I wrote a thread once asking how many people thought they'd be married right now if it wasn't for distance.

I often wonder if the internet gives us false hope -- like, we meet this amazing person online whom we think is just the right match...

But it never actually works out because of distance.

I've been in that situation myself (not finding what I thought was the right person, but have met some I would have dated to see if it could turn into anything if not for the distance.)

I have to admit though, I think in every incidence, the distance was saving me -- and the other person -- from a huge mistake. But that's just because I'm so darn ornery!!

I'm sure in some cases, it could work out for some fine people, and I always feel sad when I hear of couples who seem to get along very well, but can't explore a real possibility because of distance.

Yes, I know, in some cases God will provide, but I've known many other cases in which it didn't happen (which again, could be from God, but part of the frustration is not really knowing.)

Distance can be a blessing. Meaning God do not bring the 2 together, they should forget about it.

If 1 agrees to move to be closer, then that's a sign from God as God is moving them closer.

 

[RodColeman]

Real dating starts when both guy and gal introduce each other to church, family as exclusive dating couple. Meaning they agree to see each other exclusively, and this friendship possible lead to marriage if no obstacles occur.

Casual dating meaning just go out, casual friendship. No specific goal, not introducing to church, family as dating couple.

Yeah, that's a good place to start calling it a real relationship, certainly.

 

[Lovette]

Even when I tried to invite Lovette to the other threads to talk about other things, his attitude was, "Ok then, amuse me, entertain me..."

It had an air of "Prove to me that you're worthy of my presence, peasant."

I realize this is the belief the whole world is pushing right now, but I'm always bewildered at how someone can continue to believe that the world revolves around them, has to conform to them, and is there to entertain them -- and can still themselves as a Christian whose worth listening to.

Pride and self-centeredness just aren't values a Christian should strive so hard to maintain.

What other things? I never seen any invitation. And I never believed the world revolves around me, the world will love itself, I'm just passing by, why would I be bothered by anything?

The only pride, though, is this entitlement mentality that you deserve a romantic relationship just because you're a Christian.