Thoughts of Christian Dating

[seoulsearch]

Distance can be a blessing. Meaning God do not bring the 2 together, they should forget about it.

If 1 agrees to move to be closer, then that's a sign from God as God is moving them closer.

It's an interesting topic for sure.

Over the years, I've known about 15 international couples (where one person moved to the other person's country.)

It cracks me up how people think they're just going to pick up a dream spouse on the other side of the world, easy as pie.

I'm certainly no expert, but man, from what I've seen, marrying internationally has to be one of the most challenging types of marriages out there.

Not to mention, expensive.

Of course, couples don't have to be international to have a distance involved... but it's something I always think of when the topic comes up.

 

[Lovette]

OK, interesting. Nothing wrong with that.

You can still east it in moderation. A little bit every now and then is not harmful.

Eating lots of it is harmful, though, for sure. Junk food isn't a sin, but if we consume it as gluttons, or if we abuse our bodies with it, then eating it would be wrong, certainly. Sugar and caffeine addictions are real and they're definitely not healthy.

Then cook your own food and fast between meals.

 

[seoulsearch]

What other things? I never seen any invitation. And I never believed the world revolves around me, the world will love itself, I'm just passing by, why would I be bothered by anything?

The only pride, though, is this entitlement mentality that you deserve a romantic relationship just because you're a Christian.

I would have to go through thousands of posts to find them, but I have written in the threads before, more than once, inviting you to talk about other subjects.

And you told me to entertain you -- I guess like a dancing monkey.

 

[Churchgoer]

It's an interesting topic for sure.

Over the years, I've known about 15 international couples (where one person moved to the other person's country.)

It cracks me up how people think they're just going to pick up a dream spouse on the other side of the world, easy as pie.

I'm certainly no expert, but man, from what I've seen, marrying internationally has to be one of the most challenging types of marriages out there.

Not to mention, expensive.

Of course, couples don't have to be international to have a distance involved... but it's something I always think of when the topic comes up.

Correct, because those people are determined to move out of their homeland. Marriage gives them opportunity to do so.

I don't say it as if it is wrong to use marriage as a channel to move. As long as they are faithful in marriage, it is totally a blessing.

Ruth used boaz to have stability. It is totally fine, as long as she stayed faithful in marriage.

 

[Lovette]

I would have to go through thousands of posts to find them, but I have written in the threads before, more than once, inviting you to talk about other subjects.

And you told me to entertain you -- I guess like a dancing monkey.

You've mistaken. Forget about it and have a good day, God bless.

 

[OMC]

Yes, you can gamble in moderation (entertainment), play games, smoke weed also in moderation and it's not sinful. Behavior that is sinful like watching porn cannot be fine in moderation.

There's no prohibition to any foods (anymore), so yes those things can be eaten in moderation, although healthier foods are often a better choice.

Scripture certainly gives Christians freedom in areas where God has not given an explicit command,
but the question isn't just, "Can it be done in moderation?"
The question is, "Can it be done in a way that honors Christ and doesn't gain mastery over me?"
For example, pornography is inherently sinful because it involves lust, so no amount of moderation changes that.
But with things like games, entertainment, food, or even gambling, I'd ask whether they're helping me exercise self-control or whether they're slowly taking control of me.
Paul said: "All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any." (1 Cor. 6:12)
That's the principle I keep coming back to.
As for marijuana, my concern wouldn't be moderation alone, but whether it impairs sobriety, judgment, or self-control, since believers are repeatedly called to be sober-minded and watchful. Every time I get my treatments, they give me something for the pain that is basically THC. I won't talk to anyone, I won't come on here, I won't do anything but sit here and pray till I fall asleep or the effect passes. I don't trust myself to act as I would with a clear mind.
So rather than saying, "It's fine in moderation," I'd probably say: "Can I do this with a clear conscience before the Lord, maintain self-control, and honestly say it is helping rather than hindering my walk with Christ?"
I think that's a more biblical test than simply asking whether something is explicitly forbidden.

 

[seoulsearch]

You've mistaken. Forget about it and have a good day, God bless.

This was your reply when I asked you about talking about subjects other than dating.

We could talk about other stuffs. Try me, amuse me. But as long as you wanna discuss and defend dating, that's my only response, because it's the truth.

This was your reply when I pointed out that there are thousands of other threads and topics going in the forums.

Alright, so far I haven't seen any. I personally believe the purpose of this board should be enouragement for one another to defy the dating culture, the "happily ever after" and the "relationship escalator" narrative, to reject the shaming of singles, not to find partners in order to fit in.

And this was your reply to my suggestion of talking about other topics.

We could talk about creative and critical thinking, about intellectual diligence in the onslaught of AI, about how to read and write for ourselves, keeping our mind sharp while we still can. I'm curious to see what's your take on that. My "nastiness" against dating is just part of my creative and critical thinking against the conventional narrative of the "relationship escalator", from love at the first sight to the walk down the aisle.

Absolutely everything is about you.

You have to be the one to choose the topics.

You have to be the one to set the parameters of any conversation you participate in.

You never ask what other people would like to talk about.

You expect every discussion you participate in to conform to your directives.

You see no other threads or things to talk about because it all has to fit you.

 

[NightTwister]

Yeah, you go placate yourself with that. Before you realize, it'll becoem a coping mechanism triggered by stress.

I'm old enough to know it hasn't for me. YMMV.

 

[NightTwister]

Scripture certainly gives Christians freedom in areas where God has not given an explicit command,
but the question isn't just, "Can it be done in moderation?"
The question is, "Can it be done in a way that honors Christ and doesn't gain mastery over me?"
For example, pornography is inherently sinful because it involves lust, so no amount of moderation changes that.
But with things like games, entertainment, food, or even gambling, I'd ask whether they're helping me exercise self-control or whether they're slowly taking control of me.
Paul said: "All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any." (1 Cor. 6:12)
That's the principle I keep coming back to.
As for marijuana, my concern wouldn't be moderation alone, but whether it impairs sobriety, judgment, or self-control, since believers are repeatedly called to be sober-minded and watchful. Every time I get my treatments, they give me something for the pain that is basically THC. I won't talk to anyone, I won't come on here, I won't do anything but sit here and pray till I fall asleep or the effect passes. I don't trust myself to act as I would with a clear mind.
So rather than saying, "It's fine in moderation," I'd probably say: "Can I do this with a clear conscience before the Lord, maintain self-control, and honestly say it is helping rather than hindering my walk with Christ?"
I think that's a more biblical test than simply asking whether something is explicitly forbidden.

We're saying the same thing in different ways.

 

[Lovette]

This was your reply when I asked you about talking about subjects other than dating.




This was your reply when I pointed out that there are thousands of other threads and topics going in the forums.



And this was your reply to my suggestion of talking about other topics.



Absolutely everything is about you.

You have to be the one to choose the topics.

You have to be the one to set the parameters of any conversation you participate in.

You never ask what other people would like to talk about.

You expect every discussion you participate in to conform to your directives.

You see no other threads or things to talk about because it all has to fit you.

Why are you so sensitive on this, why do you care, and what exact other subjects do you wanna talk about? My only" directive" is against dating, especially "Christian dating", as though putting a Christian label makes it Christian. What's in it for you to defend it?

 

[Churchgoer]

This was your reply when I asked you about talking about subjects other than dating.




This was your reply when I pointed out that there are thousands of other threads and topics going in the forums.



And this was your reply to my suggestion of talking about other topics.



Absolutely everything is about you.

You have to be the one to choose the topics.

You have to be the one to set the parameters of any conversation you participate in.

You never ask what other people would like to talk about.

You expect every discussion you participate in to conform to your directives.

You see no other threads or things to talk about because it all has to fit you.

This proves friendship, getting to know each other is an important stage before any serious commitment.

Even employment requires a probation period.

Dating is getting to know each other stage, before split up or marriage.

 

[Lovette]

I'm old enough to know it hasn't for me. YMMV.

Then what are we arguing about?

 

[seoulsearch]

Why are you so sensitive on this, why do you care, and what exact other subjects do you wanna talk about? My only" directive" is against dating, especially "Christian dating", as though putting a Christian label makes it Christian. What's in it for you to defend it?

I am sensitive to people who think the world revolves around them, then plant themselves into a community and expect everyone else to revolve around them as well.

 

[seoulsearch]

This proves friendship, getting to know each other is an important stage before any serious commitment.

Even employment requires a probation period.

Dating is getting to know each other stage, before split up or marriage.

Yeah, this is why I can't get into the "dating to marry" or "courting" mentality.

People can't possibly know if they want to marry each other if they can't even be allowed a no-pressure environment to get to know each other.

But that's just my view.

 

[NightTwister]

Why are you so sensitive on this, why do you care, and what exact other subjects do you wanna talk about? My only" directive" is against dating, especially "Christian dating", as though putting a Christian label makes it Christian. What's in it for you to defend it?

It's not what you're saying, but how you're saying it. You're very judgmental to most people here, often questioning their salvation.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. - Gal 5:22-23

I don't see much of this coming from you. You might well to check that log in your eye.

 

[Lovette]

I am sensitive to people who think the world revolves around them, then plant themselves into a community and expect everyone else to revolve around them as well.

I've told you that the world revolves around the sun, it loves itself, and I'm just passing by. What makes you think that dating, for your own pleasure, the satisfatction for your own need, is somehow selfless, whereas busting it is somehow selfish?

 

[NightTwister]

Yeah, this is why I can't get into the "dating to marry" or "courting" mentality.

People can't possibly know if they want to marry each other if they can't even be allowed a no-pressure environment to get to know each other.

But that's just my view.

The percentage of successful marriages is pretty much equal between arranged and "western." I know my parents couldn't have done worse than I did. I'm not saying either way is right, but I think either way is acceptable.

 

[NightTwister]

Then what are we arguing about?

Your insistence on adding guardrails to scripture.

 

[Churchgoer]

Yeah, this is why I can't get into the "dating to marry" or "courting" mentality.

People can't possibly know if they want to marry each other if they can't even be allowed a no-pressure environment to get to know each other.

But that's just my view.

Exactly, for us, we advocate for friendship first,

 

[Lovette]

It's not what you're saying, but how you're saying it. You're very judgmental to most people here, often questioning their salvation.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. - Gal 5:22-23

I don't see much of this coming from you. You might well to check that log in your eye.

Yeah, says someone who defends alcohol, junk food, gambling, gaming, even weeds. I have enough self control to stay away from these, faithfulness in an almighty God who keeps me away from these, and joy in the absence of these, believe it or not.