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I wanna be as smart as Ugly when I grow up
Me three. I always enjoy reading Ugly's input. He knows that already, but now y'all do too.
I had a similar thought but held back...I was going to say it sounded like shopping for a car. Yeah, he put it better.
Hmmm, great minds must think alike. Shopping for a car was the first think that crossed my mind, but likewise I bit my tongue and moved on.
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NodMyHeadLikeYeah
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Catlynn
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See_KING_Truth
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Jullianna
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Ugly
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angel1243
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sorry guys, what i really meant was, i am not attracted to them enough to wanting to spend the rest of my life with them. am i wrong in that?
I think the real question is how are you gauging your attraction?
Physical appeal? Sexual appeal? Intellectual appeal?
If you're choosing to not spend the rest of your life with someone because you don't find them "hot enough" then you are probably using the wrong standards.
In the end, to give you better responses, it would be helpful to understand more of what's going on and why you're asking.
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Brandon777
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Okay. Here's something you might not have heard yet. SCRIPTURE GO!! so we've all heard that the Holy Bible says that God looks at the heart, but what does it say before that? Man looks on the outward appearance! It matters to us, even the Holy Bible admits that! So take it or leave it. (I take it. vainty to some people, is living naturally to me. I mean if it upsets you to have to look at an unpleasing face for your whole life, then hey, that's you. Just a thought. I wouldn't want to make-out with someone who I deem unattractive. It just wouldn't fit right in my mind. Here's the reference: 1 Samuel 16:7 "The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."
Modern psychology says we are not attracted to those that are less appealing to us or more appealing than us, but we find comfort in a similar amount of attractiveness. That's nothing to be ashamed of. It's how we're made to work. This is just me, but I'm not going to force myself in a situation I'm not comfortable in. You can call me vain, but I don't think that's what I am. I think I want to pour my heart and soul into complementing my future wife, and I want to mean every word of it.
Modern psychology says we are not attracted to those that are less appealing to us or more appealing than us, but we find comfort in a similar amount of attractiveness. That's nothing to be ashamed of. It's how we're made to work. This is just me, but I'm not going to force myself in a situation I'm not comfortable in. You can call me vain, but I don't think that's what I am. I think I want to pour my heart and soul into complementing my future wife, and I want to mean every word of it.
I completely agree with Bridget's post.
Something else to keep in mind is that "spend the rest of my life with" the person is the key phrase here. Even if you choose THE most attractive person in the world, they are going to look different at 65 than they do at 25. And, you never know what life will throw at you.
I know two couples right now in their 50's--they've both been together since their 20's... both very attractive couples. In each case, one of the spouses are battling life-threatening illness and it's resulted in extreme differences in physical appearance, as well as the loss of body parts.
Obviously, there is something there that holds these couples together that goes beyond, "Hmm, how high does this person rate on the hotness scale right now..."
Someday, I hope I can find (and give) what they have.
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wyler
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No you're not wrong, physical attraction is a major part of a relationship and if you don't find someone physically attractive and go into a relationship hoping it will change then it can lead to a lot of intiimacy problems.
You just need to be sure you aren't considering these men only by a physical standard because like others have said physical attraction grows over time as you fall deeper in love.
If these guys seem potentially like good matches and you are rejecting them purely by a physical standard then you may be missing out.
Consider going on a date or two and seeing how you feel once you know them a little better, once you know their personality and how attraced you are to that side of them, you might find your feelings changing, if not, at least you'll know you actually explored the possibilites and didn't just check them off a list for not being attractive enough.
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Jullianna
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I guess there must be something seriously wrong with me. I have dated guys that most people would consider to be over the top hotties, but most of them were extremely self-absorbed, discourteous to others, felt society owed them something because they were gorgeous and couldn't discuss much beyond the type of hair gel they used.
The man who now owns my heart has an odd shaped head, but it contains one of the most brilliant, compelling, challenging minds I've ever known. His heart is stout and pure. His love for me is honest and obvious. He is an incurable romantic. His desire to see change in this world drives all that he is.
So, I suppose it all comes down to one's definition of what is attractive.
The man who now owns my heart has an odd shaped head, but it contains one of the most brilliant, compelling, challenging minds I've ever known. His heart is stout and pure. His love for me is honest and obvious. He is an incurable romantic. His desire to see change in this world drives all that he is.
So, I suppose it all comes down to one's definition of what is attractive.
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wyler
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Aahhh, so my family isn't the only one on earth that has the odd shaped head genes, I really am not alone
But I agree with you Jullianna, when all is said and done relationships last on the strength of personalities and emotional connections, not physical beauty. Like SeoulSearch said, even if someone is physically beautiful the chances are one day they won't be.
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Jullianna
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You know..the bottom line is that one day ALL of us will be far less physically attractive than we think we are now 
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violakat
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violakat
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Attraction is such a complex issue. (Okay enough of trying to sound smart like Bridget and Ugly)
But really, I don't think your wrong if you look at someone and say, I can't see myself staying with this person for the rest of my life, because I'm not attracted to them enough. Especially if you have gone out with them for sometime. I think it's much wiser to say that before a commitment has been made (such as marriage), then later. It can save on some heartache. I've had a few friends come to me, not knowing what to do with their relationships. I've always asked them to look down the road and ask themselves if they see themselves with this person in 10, 20, 30 years, or do they see themselves divorcing. If they say divorcing, then I ask, why do you want to marry someone if you'll only end up divorcing them?
What we have to remember is that what attracts us originally to someone may not be what keeps us attracted to said person. If you build a relationship or superficiality, then you're more likely to get divorced. But, if you try and find ways to grow together spiritually and physically, then those are the relationships that tend to last, at least from what I see. A lot of people say that opposites attract, and that's true for atoms. But in real life, opposites sometimes just stay opposites. What you really need is some common interest as well. And as you develop common interest, attraction that will last can begin to develop. (Or else you find that you just get on each others nerves.)
But really, I don't think your wrong if you look at someone and say, I can't see myself staying with this person for the rest of my life, because I'm not attracted to them enough. Especially if you have gone out with them for sometime. I think it's much wiser to say that before a commitment has been made (such as marriage), then later. It can save on some heartache. I've had a few friends come to me, not knowing what to do with their relationships. I've always asked them to look down the road and ask themselves if they see themselves with this person in 10, 20, 30 years, or do they see themselves divorcing. If they say divorcing, then I ask, why do you want to marry someone if you'll only end up divorcing them?
What we have to remember is that what attracts us originally to someone may not be what keeps us attracted to said person. If you build a relationship or superficiality, then you're more likely to get divorced. But, if you try and find ways to grow together spiritually and physically, then those are the relationships that tend to last, at least from what I see. A lot of people say that opposites attract, and that's true for atoms. But in real life, opposites sometimes just stay opposites. What you really need is some common interest as well. And as you develop common interest, attraction that will last can begin to develop. (Or else you find that you just get on each others nerves.)