Do You Set Standards For a Significant Other that You Don't Meet?

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Years ago, when I was lost, I had pretty high standards.To be honest I'm kind of glad that I did because those standards kept me from marrying at a time when I obviously wasn't mature enough to understand and appreciate what marriage is supposed to be like. If I had married back then, chances are that I would likely be divorced right now.

Then I focused on a certain set of qualities, mostly physical. For example, if she were blond, she had to look a certain way or if she was brunette she had to have a different set of qualities. Now I find that I don't focus on appearances nearly as much. Although, I must admit that I'm sucker for a gorgeous pair of eyes. *lol*

Now I tend to focus on character. First and foremost, does she love the Lord? Is she compassionate toward people? Does she have a heart for ministry? What is her personal view / approach to the Christian life? I then begin to look at her personality. While I have to admit, I'm a sucker for an intelligent girl with a witty sense of humor, I also find myself drawn to someone who also has a kind heart and is somewhat soft spoken. The hardest part for me has been finding someone that is somewhat balanced in these two areas. - I am completely repulsed by someone who is loud and inconsiderate or who is very materialistic.

It's funny how as we grow older our priorities completely change. Thank God! *lol*
 
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Crossfire said:
Years ago, when I was lost, I had pretty high standards.To be honest I'm kind of glad that I did because those standards kept me from marrying at a time when I obviously wasn't mature enough to understand and appreciate what marriage is supposed to be like. If had married back then, chances are that I would likely be divorced right now.

Then I focused on a certain set of qualities, mostly physical . For example, if she were blond, she had to look a certain way or if she was brunette she had to have a different set of qualities. Now I find that I don't focus on appearances nearly as much. Although, I must admit that I'm sucker for a gorgeous pair of eyes. *lol*

Now I tend to focus on character. First and foremost, does she love the Lord? Is she compassionate toward people? Does she have a heart for ministry? What is her personal view / approach to the Christian life? I then begin to look at her personality. While I have to admit, I'm a sucker for an intelligent girl with a witty sense of humor, I also find myself drawn to someone who also has a kind heart and is somewhat soft spoken. The hardest part for me has been finding someone that is somewhat balanced in these two areas. - I am completely repulsed by someone who is loud and inconsiderate or who is very materialistic.

It's funny how as we grow older our priorities completely change. Thank God! *lol*
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Amen.................. :)
 
SmileAndNod said:
Hmmm...I don't know that I agree with NOT having something that we're looking for. The word says that God will give us the desires of our hearts. How can He do that if we just say "God...give me whatever." I'm not talking about being superficial...but He created us...and he gaves us likes and dislikes, weaknesses and strengths. It's true He knows us...but, we're told that we don't have have because we know not how to ask. Nothing wrong with layin' it out there. :) (and there's also such a thing as being completely unrealistic in our "wants". Marc Driscoll talks about some women being so picky that if Jesus himself walked into the room, they'd be like, "eh...I don't like facial hair." lol) ;)
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Completely.
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I suppose SOME of you would call a guy with a beard 'facially challenged,' LOL .
 
I dont put those kind of standards when i met someone, because in the past i made a lot of mistakes and not only talking about ppl but in jobs and other things, it happened that many times i thought that some things were the most convenient to me but at the end i just found out that they were not, so now i pray and let God (who knows me and know what is the most convenient to me) to chose the best for me.
And the only "standards" i have now are : that the guy be christian, love God, be single and have sense of humor.
 
" I dont put those kind of standards when i met someone, because in the past i made a lot of mistakes and not only talking about ppl but in jobs and other things, it happened that many times i thought that some things were the most convenient to me but at the end i just found out that they were not, so now i pray and let God (who knows me and know what is the most convenient to me) to chose the best for me.
And the only "standards" i have now are : that the guy be christian, love God, be single and have sense of humor. " -

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And take me to Israel to see Jesus, to Italy to see Venice, to.... ;)

Just playin' with ya, lizzietheone. Yeah, you know me, O-P-P, or, wait, that's not it, sorry. You know, me, lizzietheone, I am greennnice. :)
 
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Personally, I think people are alllowed to have expectation because first and foremost it is their own desicion. What other people think of it is the other matter.
I think it's pretty outrageous for the guy to be asking so much, I agree with an earlier post by someone, that we can't really place our expectations higher that ourselves.
I would love for my future husband to have $100,000 saved, was well educated, etc.... But the possibility of that is slim.
The expectations of the guy on that other sight was too high.
Personally I have expectations like
-Be in some type of employment, or looking for employment/Ministry.
-Honest
-Wears purple shirts ;) (I am a purple freak!)
-On fire for God Christian (Someone who is going to lead the relationship spiritually)

I wouldn't think that is too much to ask would it?
Hahahhah.
 
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